The Husbands I Thought I Found

By Carla G. Morrison

The book that I have written, entitled The Husbands I Thought I Found, is an autobiography. It is about my relationship with my dad, which is the reason I pick all the wrong men to have a future with. How I longed for my dad to be in my life constantly. This book is also about my life being a young woman living under my mothers roof. I couldnt wait to get out into the world. I finally had an opportunity to leave her house. I had never been with anyone before, and I lacked the experiences and knowledge to make some of the decisions I made, which led me into situations of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. My life had become a hellish nightmare and was full of heartbreak. Would I ever find the right man? Or would I stay in this deadly relationship?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 19, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469196947

Carla G. Morrison

My name is Carla G. Morrison. I am a wife, a mother, and a new inspirational writer. I am a stay-at-home mother of two young children. I am a caring and loving person and a dedicated and devoted mother and wife. Before I became a mother and a wife, I worked for the Palm Beach County School Board. I was a debater in high school. One of my passions is writing things that are important to me so that I can share with others what I have overcome.

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Beginning

This is how my life started and why I chose all the wrong men to start a future with. Any man can say that he is a father, but it takes a true man to actually be a father. It started when I was born. My father was in and out of my life, so I was told.

He would make promises that he couldn’t keep. As I got older, I began to understand what I was told about him. I would ask my mom to give my dad a call; she would call him for me. He would pick up the phone, and before he could say anything, I would immediately ask my dad when he was coming to pick me up. My dad would say, Okay, I will come and get you tomorrow. Be ready at 2:00 p.m. I would say, Okay, Dad, I will see you then. I couldn’t wait until the next day. The next day finally came. I packed my things and was ready to go. The time had come for my dad to pick me up, but I didn’t see my dad anywhere. I didn’t even get a phone call from him. I would wait by my mom’s window, hoping and wishing that I would see him, but there was no sign of him. After a while, Mom would say, Carla, come on. It’s late. Then she would take my things and put them back up and put my nightclothes on and tuck me in bed.

Chapter 2

Needed Dad in My Life

I remember going to bed crying because I didn’t know why my dad didn’t come for me. Did he not want to be my dad? Did I do something wrong? Did he not love me? I just couldn’t understand why he would treat me that way. My mom would say, Baby, you got me. Don’t cry. It’s okay. Time went by, and I never did get a phone call from my dad explaining what happened or just to say he was sorry. I got nothing! For as long as I could remember, my dad has never brought me a pair of shoes or clothes or given me money. Not that it matters, but I just wanted a part of him to hold on to in case I never saw him again. All I wanted was for my dad to spend time with me and show me that he loved me. I wanted a dad in my life. I would go to school day in and day out seeing other children together with both their parents and wondered why I couldn’t have their lives. I used to wonder how it would be with both parents, but I knew deep down inside that it would only be a dream and not a reality. No matter what my dad did to me, I still loved him. I would always find myself calling him just to hear his voice. When I had the chance to talk to my dad again, I would ask the same question: When will I see you, Dad? He would say, I’m going to see you soon. What does that mean to a ten-year-old? Or he would say, I will come tomorrow to get you. Of course he never showed up. My dad made many promises up until I became a teenager. I realized those promises were just lies, so I stopped asking to see him because I knew what the outcome was. Thanks to my mom, I turned out to be a wonderful young woman with a wonderful husband and two children. I have suffered through different relationships and marriages because I turned to all the wrong men. Why? All because I didn’t have my dad in my life. I know within my heart that if my dad were in my life, I wouldn’t have gone through the heartache and pain from men, which includes verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I still have problems letting go of things, and I know that too has a lot to do with my dad not being there for me. Some of my issues have shown up in my marriage, but I can truly say that I have gotten better at dealing with my issues each and every day. It’s a work in progress. I know that if my father were in my life, I would have been able to avoid having a low self-esteem and being abused and used by men. I could have gone through life easier and have a lot less mistakes to learn from.

Chapter 3

Fathers Are Supposed to Teach Us

Fathers are supposed to guide us through our lives while we are still flowers that have yet to blossom. Fathers are supposed to teach us the good and the bad qualities