Second Life Turn: I Saw a Vision of My Father with a Woman/Life Is What You Make It

By Evette Smith

This book is a story in two,a story that brings back those days cherished by loved ones, remembered by old times that are never forgotten by generations that come and go throughout the years. It is the life, a story of the author, a vision seen and dreams that were mastered through the night that brought out the powers that God had given to describe the life as it is or had been in the past. The life I first seen which was truly meant to be. After reading this book you to can think about those times never forgotten and that were meant to be with much meaning. To look back at the life which is so often remembered and to have a life of joy behind it treasured in every dream. The life I changed by grace and thought.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 13, 2007
• ISBN: 9781468530728

Evette Smith

I was born in St. Louis Mo. where the nickle and dime stores where downtown on the sidewalks. That is the place where my grandmother Maggie Northcross showed me a life of up bringing and taught me grace as she seen it. I was raised in her home with my siblings and mannerism that followed me throughout my life today. When Maggie died things remanined the same. The things I learned stayed with me. I then moved with my parents where another life started. I have now three adorable children with the same mannerism and a family of ten grandchildren in the mid west where I live with all my family. I continue to listen for the blessings from the lord to be able to write with that grace there is another turn. I have much respect for my life today. My mother is always my grandmother in a vision when I need her to be. I am blessed here in the mid west with my family and God in my life.

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2009 Evette Smith. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 11/23/2022

ISBN: 978-1-4343-0136-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-3072-8 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Acknowledgement

I am currently living in the Midwest of the United States. I am a proud eight year old recovering addict and student with my three adorable children who have never gave up on me. I thank you very much with all my heart. And to my family who has stuck by me and supporting me even when I didn’t know all the answers to my problems. I like to give a very special thanks to my parents who raised me with mannerism, caring for others, and a giving heart. I am blessed in that way. I like to thank my nine grandchildren whom made me feel special in every way possible. And to all my friends that kept me going strong when they stood by me in the toughest of times. I like to give special thanks to Michael who has written several books and Robert who is also an excellent writer and friend. Most of all, thanks to Winnebago Mental Health. Thank you all.

Table of Contents

Preface

Forward

I Saw a Vision of My Father with a Woman

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Tweleve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Life is What You Make It

Growing Up at a Young Age

Living in the Big City

Teenage Years

Experiencing Motherhood

Life in the Streets

Players, Whores, Pimps, and Tricks

Mother and Daughter Conversations

Trouble with the Law

Being with a Man of My Own

My Gay Life

Trying to Survive

Mental Health Issues

Possible Goals

Falling in Love with a Woman

How Unfair Things Seem

Losses in Life

Struggle for What Life Holds

A Peace of Mind

The God of My Understanding

Preface

Throughout history drugs have been a major problem in all areas of our lives. Over the years, since 1979 up until 2005 people have became unaware of the damage that it has caused themselves, families, and children. While other’s that don’t use don’t understand how we addicts can lose control of our well being with the use of drugs. I never had an understanding of how people of my own race would live this life of drug using, until something clicked in my mind about poverty and where I come from. While crack cocaine being the most observable triple-X poison used in the United States and other countries, knowing that everyone needs something to hold on to for comfort, love and self motivation. It would be the drug or the alcohol that makes us out to be somebody.

While hiding underneath it all, in mind, spirit, body, and soul cocaine would not be the right choice in life. That even as the next generation comes closer to the punishment that we bring on ourselves we know that we must seek help in order to recover from it all. In knowing that with structure therapy about certain lifestyles there is hope that can take place. Almost every American realizes that drugs is not a life saver, but only destroys the mind and body, but we still can’t find the ways to stop the usage.

On living and making a suitable life for yourself crack cocaine has been known to put you out of whack, to establish brain damage and other possible failures in the organic system. It has been known to be the food produced for healthy and unhealthy bodies. By knowing that it all takes place somewhere before it starts catch it, grasp it and release the possibility to be free from not dealing with yesterdays problems into today’s future. And all will be well. We can only go from one moment and one incident at a time to solve our problems before we’re captured.

My life is so different now I do fun enjoyable things daily, but most of all I attend a meeting at least once or twice a week. In hope that I can capture someone’s attention in knowing that what I have to say will be of some help to that person. I do most of the things I didn’t get the chance to do in my childhood life. I play tennis, go bowling, swimming and work out at the YMCA I am also a student at Gateway Technical college, majoring in human service. I go to the movies and have a good time clean and sober. I just love to shop till I drop at my own expense. But most of all I love to be happy and free and help people when I can. AA and NA is a way of escape from what use to be horrible to the great hope of life.

I have got what I been looking for in AA and NA it’s not just about people who want their lives back together, but it’s about people who understand their own lives and move forward in doing so. I pray every night for thankfulness in God whom has brought me through and even when I’m having a bad day it’s a good day, because I make it through safe. I know that if a person would just give themselves a chance they could succeed because people are hurting and they can’t quit drinking or using drugs.

Forward

I had to write this book, because I had to let go of the fears that haunted me all of my life. I wanted to share those fears with others. I was a young girl with well kept manners and a mind like no other. I had a mixed up mind and I always wanted to know why? Why this or that? I distinguish the difference in life just recently when I learned that I had a mental illness and needed treatment. I believe in writing this book, it will wake up some of America. I figured just by reading my book people can imagine all sorts of unhealthy bad behaviors and things that happened or went on in my life, even things that I find hard to talk about today. Just remembering the few piece by piece good standards in my life they were very well appreciated by me and others.

Even in relationships that weren’t so good there was always someone, which meant it wasn’t a commitment. Most important I wrote this book in hope that someone will pick it up, someone that’s going through a tuft time, someone that will say ,I will never ever in my life degrade myself in that way. Hoping that maybe someone have hit there bottom and they’ve decided that enough is enough and know to seek God, support, and structure groups of narcotics anonymous or alcoholic anonymous etc.

I Saw a Vision of My Father with a Woman

Chapter One

Special moments

I can remember a man, my father. He has been with me through out most of my adolescent life. I have respected him always. He’s a man of many rules and regulations. He believes only in what’s right, this man my father it makes him unique, because he believes in agreement with white and black. That respect goes a long way. To become someone is something always seen in the eye of a man. My resistance of that of any man would be impossible to not love this man.

This man believes in the beauty of things, things seen precious in every moment. My father is a man that would turn a dime into a diamond and a quarter into a loaf of bread for someone that meant so much to him. Definitely I have seen him in action. There is always no limitation to what he would do. I remember going into the store with my father to buy some liquor we also needed food for the house, my father was in a discussion with the retailer about a job, because we were black folks that didn’t have much. My father said, I am a handyman, I can build a roof over a roof. The white man being sarcastic said, Will it keep the rain out? Then me, and my wife be happy day in and day out.

I was taught by this man that respect goes a long way, that a man will give his last dime if you treat him kind. Although he was a man with a wife he loved her very much. He had other issues as they had risen within for his children and the world as he seen. I remember only a little of what he look like. I could never in my sight remember what my mother looked like only the pictures that I had seen so beautiful indeed of this beautiful lady with a body like Marlyn Monroe and a smile that brighten his day.

He loved this woman in every possible creative way and thought in mind, till the point were he decided that there was no other woman he would love to be with, other than a woman that could put up with his drinking, wrong thinking, and desire for other women. My father was a man that wanted and believed in having what he wanted. Daddy worked hard to earn a living. He was a smart man.

Chapter Two

The disagreement

He would marry a woman if she could cook his supper and if she believed strongly in the lord. My father believed in a woman doing a woman’s job and that a man is always to be in charge. The lord blest my father with that beautiful lady to have five children, four girls and one boy.

Now he feels gifted through the lord to raise them the best he can, to give them a life of true up bringing and freedom. To not feel like something is holding them so tight for them to follow their dreams and goals that they deserve. The dime that he turned into a diamond was for the finger of the beautiful lady that was like a Marlyn Monroe right out of high school with a pose that made her look to be a model. For dad loved this woman very much. He decided to marry her with all he had, whether it was good or bad.

The love he had for her and she him that would be the right thing to do. In seeing things as the lord sees. There was not a man in all eternity that would look at his wife with lust in his eyes. My father would get so mad, because now she has his heart. He wanted her all to himself. She was for no one other than him. All life’s wonders and desires she belonged to him as if there were times when things were not always the best at hand, but my father he had a plan.

He would make this woman feel