Motivated by Pain: Gentlemen, You Will Lose Her Unless...

By Patrick Moore

He is naked in his bathroom. Fresh vomit stains his beard, hands, feet and legs. He cries uncontrollably - screaming, drunk as hell, with a good amount of Xanax, vodka, Soma and beer in his system, desperately wishing the pain would subside. He cant move. Its as if he is paralyzed. Perhaps he just wants to be gone? Not deadjust not living right now.

Its no secret that pain from a divorce can create intense feelings of shame and confusion. It can feel as though youre trapped, scared and alone. Too quickly in our relationships we run for the hills rather than sticking with our partner - till death truly do us part.

Motivated By Pain is a raw and emotionally-charged book in which Patrick Moore examines common personality differences between men and women, the raging battle of testosterone versus estrogen and the insurmountable damage stress can place on our relationships. Moores story will make you laugh, it will make you cry, but most of all it will make you think twice about the choices you are about to make...

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 16, 2011
• ISBN: 9781463414641

Book preview

Contents

FOREWORD

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION I

INTRODUCTION II

CHAPTER 1

NAKED IN MY BATHROOM

CHAPTER 2

IS DIVORCE YOUR DESTINY?

CHAPTER 3

A LETTER TO MY BOYS

CHAPTER 4

MY PARENTS…MY TEACHERS

CHAPTER 5

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT –

YES, LADIES, WE DO HAVE ONE!

CHAPTER 6

THE MORTAL CHOICE…

FAMILY OR MONEY?

CHAPTER 7

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

CHAPTER 8

BE THE MAN

CHAPTER 9

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY

CHAPTER 10

GENTLEMEN, YOU WILL LOSE HER UNLESS…

CHAPTER 11

JUST A FRIEND

CHAPTER 12

THE FRIEND DEFINED

CHAPTER 13

HUSBAND AND WIFE TALK

CHAPTER 14

LET’S TRY AGAIN

CHAPTER 15

LOOKING FOR ANSWERS,

HOPING FOR TRUTH

CHAPTER 16

TESTOSTERONE VS. ESTROGEN –

WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS?

CHAPTER 17

PERSONAL CLINICAL STUDY

CHAPTER 18

CONFLICTING PERSONALITY TRAITS

CHAPTER 19

LET’S ADD A LITTLE STRESS TO THE MARRIAGE, SHALL WE?

CHAPTER 20

JUST THE BASICS

CHAPTER 21

TRADITIONAL WEDDING VOWS, YUCK!

CHAPTER 22

MY BOYS, MY LOVE, MY LIFE

CHAPTER 23

THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR

LETTER I

LETTER II

LETTER III

CHAPTER 24

WISDOM FROM THOSE

DIVORCED AND MARRIED

CHAPTER 25

MY FINAL LETTER TO HER…

CHAPTER 26

TO GET TO WHERE WE WANT TO BE, WE NEED TO BREAK

This book is dedicated to my boys, Austin and Hayden.

Your hearts, your smiles, your tears and your souls; Daddy loves you very much.

Remember me always as a good man.

I love you.

Daddy

FOREWORD

By: Jennifer Curtet

Over the past year, I have gotten the chance to know Patrick Moore on a deeper level. At first, our relationship was connected through childhood when we went to junior high school together…right before he dropped off and dropped OUT. I remember Patrick as a skinny kid, but the man in the pictures didn’t fully connect for me. Was he shy? Was he a loner? Did we ever talk? I knew I remembered the name, but the rest was fuzzy. As we reconnected, I was shocked to hear of the journey he had taken over the last 25 years; from drugs, to homelessness, jail to overdose…and, finally, hopeless to hopeful. The boy that I vaguely remembered had hidden his secrets well.

The more we spoke, the more I realized that this man is an absolute inspiration and his message needs to be heard. As I read this book, I found myself crying, laughing, angered and triumphant right along with him. My pride for this long, lost friend was swelling and I cheered him along his journey from page to page. His transparent style and raw emotions were shocking and, yet, refreshing all at the same time. We can all learn so much by allowing this level of transparency and truth to guide us.

Patrick has reignited my passion for living, achieving and reaching for more. Through his trials, tribulations and ultimate success, I am reminded that we are whoever and whatever we choose to be, and the only obstacles in life are the ones that we create and accept in our minds. Patrick’s spirit is stronger than anyone else I have ever met and he inspires me daily to do more, more, MORE with my life! This man has maneuvered himself though the lowest of lows and has now positioned himself for success on a massive level. The world needs to get ready for this man.

I admire Patrick for his tenacity to achieve as much as he possibly can…I dare you to tell him that he CAN’T do something. Mostly, though, I admire him because of his tender faith and belief that there is always hope. As Patrick told me after he wrote the very last chapter to his book, I am now motivated by hope. This is the man that I am proud to call Friend. So, my friend, as you embark on yet another chapter of your life, I wish you the greatest amount of happiness and prosperity I can muster up. You have a very bright future awaiting you and I know that you are going to continue to change lives at every turn. I believe in you, Patrick - this is only the beginning.

Your friend,

Jennifer Curtet

Speaker, Author, Radio Host

PREFACE

Alright, so why would a man in his late thirties, extremely late thirties, with no formal education other than life kicking his ass, want to write a book on men and women? Well, leave it to dear old pain.

I had a massive broken heart after my wife left me, was in unbelievable debt and had just quit my six-figure job so I could start my own business. I was living in a home that was foreclosing, while my family was living in a new home two miles away. I was inebriated for about six months straight…alcohol at night and energy drinks all day. I think my heart grew three times its size during those days.

Have you heard of the divorce diet? It is a thirty pound weight loss program that comes along with divorce. If you have ever been high on methamphetamine, you know that when you are high you cannot eat. All food turns into a kind of a mush in your mouth and the result is ribs so prominent they would make a Chili’s Restaurant proud. When you own a gym, there is a certain way you should look. So, for me to weigh a pitiable 165 pounds, at six feet two inches tall, it was difficult to have anyone buy what I was selling.

Along with alcohol and energy drinks, I decided to try steroids. Look, there comes a time in every person’s life when you do whatever needs to be done to change how you feel inside. For me, steroids worked. They took me from a 165 pound man to a 225 pound monster. I went from bench pressing 205 pounds to 315 pounds in just three months! At the time, this was just what the doctor ordered. Now, I just take my Protandim and fish oil.

All of my behaviors…the alcohol, steroids, avoiding my boys…were motivated by the desire to avoid any more pain. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t do it. I was devastated by the loss of my family and couldn’t…hell, didn’t know how to cope.

This book started when I decided to write a letter to my boys to help them understand that Daddy’s recent behavior was not conducive to being a successful person, nor was it evidence of his true behavior. I want them to learn from my countless mistakes so they NEVER have to endure the pain of losing a spouse. I want them to know I am a good man. I just didn’t manage myself well when times went terribly bad.

From the stress, to the ego being crushed, to the friend, it all precluded my demise. The more I wrote, the more I started to feel alive, liberated and in control. After three years, I finally started to feel like me again.

Then I thought, I can be the average guy who doesn’t just accept the ass-kicking that life had just handed me and turn this immense loss into a much greater victory. What if my life’s destiny, my responsibility to mankind, is summoning the courage to share my story with millions of men and women? This may be a story we all share in one time or another. So here it is.

My hope is that this book will make you laugh, it will make you think and it will bring a tear to your eye. But most of all, my hope is that you gain one thing to take away that can help you with your relationship today.

Here is my first request: Grab your cell phone and randomly send your partner an I am thinking of you right now text. This is how our journey begins.

Yours with the greatest of respect,

Patrick Moore

INTRODUCTION I

A Mother’s Love

Is there any love stronger?

Written By: Sheila King, Patrick’s Mother

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

Tenneva Jordan

I was at work when Patrick’s father showed up. I was shocked to see him but thought he was just out for a drive. His father got out of the car, walked over to me and I knew right away it was bad news. I asked what was wrong and he said our son, Patrick, was in the emergency room from a drug overdose…

Patrick was such a funny kid; always able to make me laugh. He and I were always close, so when he came to me at the age of eighteen and said he was moving in with a friend, it broke my heart. His life had been so out of control as far as alcohol that I felt he wasn’t ready to be on his own. At this time I didn’t know he was also using drugs. All I knew is that he would disappear for days on end. I had visions of him lying in a gutter somewhere and me not able to be with him. I would get on the phone and call his friends to try and find him, always leaving messages for him to call me. I just needed to know he was safe. Tearful, worrisome and sleepless nights consumed my life for years with Patrick.

Alcohol was not allowed in our home. These were the rules and our sons accepted them; or so we thought. One day, I went into Patrick’s room looking for something and opened the large cabinet over his closet. I saw about fifteen bottles of different types of alcohol. I was so angry that I took them and poured them all in the sink. Needless to say, Patrick was not happy with me. Only one other time did I find alcohol in our home and that was because I heard Patrick yelling at his brother for taking some of his cinnamon Schnapps. Great, so now I have both my sons drinking.

Between the ages of sixteen and twenty-five, Patrick had a driver’s license for a total of a year at most. He received one DUI after another and was in and out of court and jail, constantly calling me to bail him out. As much as it hurt, I finally had to say no. I felt he needed to be in jail for longer than six hours, so I left him there for a full day. When I asked him later how he could stand being in jail or what they called the holding tank so many times, he said it was easy. He was so drunk that he just would just pass out while in there, only to wake in time for Mom to pick him up.

He was forever calling me at two or three in the morning asking me to come pick him up. Most of the time he didn’t even know where he was and often was too drunk to care. A majority of the time he was only a mile from home and didn’t know it. One time he went out for the evening and I didn’t see him again for eight days. I was devastated, calling all the police departments and hospitals. When he finally returned home he was very sick and remained that way for several days. To this day all I know about that incident was that he went to the little bar in our town, met some people from out of town and decided to go back to their home with them. Talk about a