Chicken Fried Crazy: A Journal of Life in the South

By Polly Sue Dennis

This is the very personal journal of life for one Southern woman. This project began as an eight-page itemized list of my husbands marital indiscretions and personal offenses, intended for use by the divorce lawyer to inflict vengeance against the drunken, soulless culprit. Instead, over a period of eight years it has mellowed into something more therapeutic and comprehensive, covering the much broader scope of life in general. Admittedly, my hostility has evolved into sadistic sarcasm. Laughter is definitely the best therapy!
It is my hope that others will relate to my story on a personal, gut level, recognize the oncoming headlight as that of a trainand get the heck out of the way before its too late!
The main character throughout most of my life was my ex-husband whom I will call Richard Head, Jr. There are also several other lusts and loves revealed. The names have been changed, sanitized for your protection. Please try not to judge me too harshly, as none of us is perfect. Im working on self-improvement every day! ~Polly

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 6, 2009
• ISBN: 9781465319296

Polly Sue Dennis

Polly Sue Dennis, adopted as a toddler, reunited with her birth family much later. That ended badly, but valuable lessons were learned. She has come to embrace her crazy, only slightly less dysfunctional adoptive family. Sexually assaulted as a child and later raped by a man she loved and trusted unconditionally, she would marry an arrogant, mentally abusive and womanizing alcoholic. And the cycle of abuse continues until someone stops the insanity!

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Copyright © 2009 by Polly Sue Dennis.

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Contents

PREFACE

MEN & OTHER ATROCITIES OF NATURE

REDNECK WAYS

TEXAS

WHAT IS NORMAL ANYWAY?

KISSING COUSINS

J IS FOR JOY

THE COURTSHIP

THE WEDDING

HONEYMOON IN HELL

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

A NEW FRIEND

DYSFUNCTION JUNCTION

IF LIFE IS A BEACH, THEN LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD.

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN

LOVE IS NOT BLIND; BIFOCALS REQUIRED

ANNIVERSARIES & OTHER CELEBRATIONS OF LIFE

SIZE DOES MATTER

THERE IS LIFE AFTER DIVORCE

GRANDKIDS: GOD’S GIFT

HINDSIGHT IS 20/20

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to all my sisters in Christ, in the South, and in the World as a whole. God put us here to love and help one another, and I hope this diary of my crazy life experiences will help others avoid some of the pitfalls of life. At least we can nod our heads in mutual understanding and share a good laugh over common every day blunders.

If you’d like to share your stories with me or comment on mine, please visit me at www.ChickenFriedCrazy.com.

Endless thanks and bottomless love to my daughter who saved me from the depths of despair. Sometimes I think you were sent here to save me, Honey. It was a rough ride, but we made it through. I’m profoundly proud of you… always.

PREFACE

This autobiographical journal was written as self-therapy, an outlet to help me work through a tangled web of overwhelming thoughts and emotions trying to force their way out of a weak spot in my head. In hindsight, it is sometimes humorous, occasionally sad, and usually personally embarrassing.

Told from the perspective of a frustrated Southern woman thrown into mid-life crisis by divorce, this is the story of a Southern childhood and adolescence with all its crazy fantasies. Then came the whirlwind romance between two youngsters from very different yet equally disturbed families. These snippets of life take the reader through numerous mismatches leading up to the ultimate odd couple, the brief but intense courtship, the much-too-young marriage, and almost three decades of mutual matrimonial torture. It provides a glimpse into changing fads, styles and technology of the passing decades in America. It also bluntly exposes the full gamut of human emotions, often like an open gash. Predictably, the tale ends in divorce with the two completely frazzled and defeated individuals starting over again in the Autumn of their lives. Yes, it is a tragedy… tragic that love ended. But perhaps the greatest tragedy is that so much time was wasted before the time of death was pronounced.

Some readers will find humor in this ongoing saga while others will be offended or frustrated. To those with delicate egos or frail hearts, I apologize in advance. As time goes by, my own perspective changes… constantly. Some days are better than others, and some subjects just haven’t yet been properly put to rest. Life after divorce is a long and challenging healing process. The important thing to note is that there IS life after divorce.

I warn the reader that this is a true story told from the heart. If we are honest we can admit that the heart is capable of endless joys, as well as equally dark and frightening passions. It is my hope that others are able to learn from my mistakes and, perhaps avoid the pitfalls of immaturity and selfish pride that eventually destroyed our marriage.

The media has had a profound effect on my life by shaping my personal views of the world. Throughout the book, many references are made to song lyrics or scenes from various movies. I believe that every sappy love song or vindictive song of anger or violence that wafts in one ear and out the other leaves a residue inside the brain and affects our view of the world around us. This is true of television, movies, books, magazines, popular games and news reports. I give credit and thanks to all those sources for helping me become who I am today.

In retrospect, I believe emotional death and the total neglect of one’s own health and well-being is every bit as tragic as physical death. So pay attention to your own senses and heed the warnings. Life is not a game, and sometimes we don’t get a second chance.

As in most true stories, the names have been changed to protect the innocent… and yes, even the wicked. Why Chicken Fried Crazy? Where I grew up the women dipped everything, whether meat or vegetables, into some sort of batter and deep fried it to a crunchy, golden brown coating. In the South we call that Chicken Fried. It’s not very healthy, but oh so good! Growing up about as far south as one can go within the United States, just a 4-hour drive from the hot and humid Texas-Mexico border, my life is crazy and my brain is fried. Also, I felt this title encompassed the Southern Living experience, with the overdramatic and dysfunctional relatives and greasy men. Enjoy… and keep the Faith!

MEN & OTHER ATROCITIES OF NATURE

I share this information not to gain anyone’s pity, but to explain the nature of my bitter and biting wit, particularly toward men. For much of my life I believed this was unique to me. In my thirties and forties I talked to a lot of women who had similar experiences and needlessly lived their lives in quiet shame. I now believe a shockingly high percentage of American females have been physically abused, sexually assaulted, and/or mentally and emotionally destroyed by the men in their lives. It makes me smile with a totally sick sense of revenge when I hear stories about the Lorena Bobbits of the world, and Clara Harris, the Clear Lake woman who accidentally ran her over dentist husband 3 times with their car after finding him at the hotel with his mistress. Then there was the woman who killed her husband, stuffed him in a box, dragged him down the stairs, and got caught trying to load him onto a truck. Even in Biblical times, Delilah had her fill of Sampson’s machismo and cut off the source of his egotistical power.

I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, but I can understand the mentality that sets in when something snaps inside and screams ENOUGH! I say we should unite and take revenge on the abusers of the world. More importantly, mothers please take this testimony to heart and watch your daughters! Listen to what they are trying to tell you and heed the signs. I failed to notice the signals my own daughter was sending out in a private daycare. This allowed an atrocity to happen to her which has left her emotionally scarred and behaviorally damaged for a lifetime. It was also the beginning of the serious demise of my marriage. I cannot begin to describe the mental Hell caused by these abominable predatory acts.

Undoubtedly, weaker (or weakened) people must send out some sort of hit me signal to the predatory ones. They seem to find us again and again, one failed relationship/marriage/job after another. Wouldn’t it just be much easier if we had paid attention to those red flags in the beginning when we first felt out nostrils flare and our neck hairs bristling?

After all I’ve been through in my lifetime at the hands of men, I shall tell my granddaughter(s) to kick ’em in the nads right away. Aim to hurt, baby! It’s the only way to stop their ill-intended actions, at least until we have the option of castration at birth.

REDNECK WAYS

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Rednecks have their own way of talking, their own way of [mis]behavin’ that might seem a bit weird to outsiders. Unknowingly, I lived among them my whole life, so I thought nothing of it. A lot of things people poke fun at were just routine to my family. Still, I can laugh at it, now that I’m so grown up and dignified… ha!

Here are some basic redneck rules to keep in mind. I would love to acknowledge the authors of these brilliant works, but they came to me in various e-mails.

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REDNECK MANNERS

***IN GENERAL***

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will,