A Man with a Dilemma

By Robert F. Cox

A Man with a Dilemma takes an in depth look at the problems a man could encounter during the course of his lifetime. He could be faced with situations involving marital infidelity, the loss of employment, sickness within his family, the death of a loved one and divorce. Other topics of discussion that are explored in this book include drug & alcohol; gambling and sexual addictions. This book is not only for men but for women who want to better understand the men in their lives. The author uses biblical personalities along with sharing some of his own experiences in discussing issues that men sometimes face in life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 15, 2007
• ISBN: 9781462839209

Robert F. Cox

Robert currently resides in Hamden, Connecticut and soon he will celebrate twenty five years in ministry for the kingdom of God. He is a father, grandfather and widower who spends most of his time raising his two god sons. In December of 2020 he officially retired from pastoring and continues to perform other duties in ministry. Reverend Cox has self-published seven books in all, According to Your Faith (2021), God, Money & You (2020), When Satan Attacks (2018), Believe in Yourself (2017), What God requires (2017), A Man with a Dilemma (2007), Overcoming Rejection (2006).

Book preview

Copyright © 2007 by Robert F. Cox.

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4257-5242-2

                   Softcover                                978-1-4257-5240-8

                   Ebook                                     9781462839209

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

without permission in writing from the publisher.

Unless noted otherwise, scripture quotations are from the

King James Version of the Bible.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Xlibris Corporation

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Contents

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Conclusion

About the Author

Dedication

I want to dedicate this work in the memory of the two men who were positive role models in my life. They were my father Alphonse Cox and my maternal grandfather Gradie McClellan. This book is written to provide encouragement for all men to let them know that they are not alone when it comes to facing difficult situations in their lives.

Introduction

Many times in life men find themselves facing problems or dilemmas that can sometimes be the result of the choices they have made. It could be for example making the decision to become involved in an extra martial affair although he may have a loving wife and children at home. Or it could be a man who has a steady girlfriend but he tells his friends they are not a couple trying to conceal the relationship from them. A man may at some point in his life turn to indulging in and abusing drugs or alcohol because of stress. Then there is the possibility of a man losing his good paying steady job because the company decides to relocate or downsize. This in turn could lead a man to begin to gamble by playing the lottery or going to casinos in hopes of becoming rich and never having to worry about money again. Along with these situations a man may find himself questioning the meaning and purpose of his own life which leads him into a mid-life crisis. If the man is struggling with his identity he must be careful that he does not turn to pornography as a way of taking his mind off of his troubles. Some troubles that a man could also face may be caused by factors beyond his control. Such as his spouse or other close family member becoming ill for an extended period of time which could even lead to that loved one’s death. As if that is not enough then there is the rare chance that his marriage could breakup ending in divorce. Each of these issues could happen separately or consecutively one at a time. All of this could make the strongest man begin to search for assistance and answers to the problems he is encountering in life. The greatest help any man can receive in a dilemma is to turn toward God who will strengthen him while he endures adversity.

Chapter One

Relationship Deception

Men have for many centuries lied or deceived people about their relationships with women. The reasons for this are endless as to why a man would do something of this nature. A man may not have desired anything more than a sexual relationship with a woman and in order to achieve this goal the man lies by saying he loves her and wants them to be a couple. Or the man may have interest in a particular woman who is not very attractive and knows that his friends will make fun of him for dating her, so a man in this situation will deny any and all involvement with an unattractive woman when his friends see the two of them together. Another reason why a man will lie about a relationship is because he already has a wife or girlfriend and does not want this information to be revealed. He knows that this will cause him many problems and wants to avoid trouble. Stretching the truth about relationships will continue to be done by both men and women.

The story found in the book of Genesis 1:10-20 involves Abram and his wife Sarai who are traveling into the land of Egypt because there is a famine in the land. Abram finds himself in search of food to feed those who are making the journey with him. It is during this period that he and his wife devise a scheme just in case they encounter some trouble. Their plan is to lie about their marriage and tell people if trouble comes that they are really brother and sister not husband and wife. As the husband of a beautiful woman Abram is concerned that when other men see Sarai they will try to kill him and take her. I do not know or cannot imagine many women that would be willing to lie or denounce in some way their relationship especially if they are happy. Furthermore, most men would want other men to see and admire the fine woman they are dating or married to. It is very surprising that Sarai has even considered going along with this deception. The men in Egypt see that Sarai is a gorgeous woman and Pharaoh the king hears of her good looks and comes to see her for himself. Eventually Pharaoh takes Sarai back to the royal palace to become one of his wives. Abram’s scheme has backfired and although Pharaoh gives him some cattle and servants because of Sarai the plan has become a nightmare. How could Abram possibly enjoy the gifts he received from Pharaoh when he knows that Pharaoh will at some point try to have sex with his wife? There was probably some sleepless nights for Abram while Sarai was away in the palace. God intervened for Abram by sending a plague on the entire household of Pharaoh. Once Pharaoh realizes that things are not right in his house because of Sarai he then understands that she is married and confronts Abram about this. Pharaoh questions Abram and then returns Sarai while allowing her husband to keep the gifts. Surely to me this was unusual because I would have asked for my stuff back but the king was more concerned with peace at home than material possessions. Then Pharaoh requests that Abram leave the region because Pharaoh’s dilemma came as the result of someone else’s choices and not his own. Sometimes we can experience trouble in our lives based solely on the actions or deceptions of others.

Not only did Abram lie to Pharaoh about his marriage but he does this a second time deceiving Abimelech, king of the Philistines (see Genesis 20). Abram or Abraham as he was known at this point in his life tells Abimelech that Sarai or Sarah is his sister. One would think that after this did not work well the first time that Abraham would not use this excuse again however, he was willing to give it another try. It is while living briefly in Gerar that the scene unfolds. Abimelech receives word of Sarah’s beauty and has her brought back to the royal palace to become one of his wives. It is Egypt all over again as Sarah leaves her husband; once again God our Heavenly Father comes to their rescue. God speaks to Abimelech in a dream by telling the king