Why It's so Hard to Forgive Those Who Hurt Us

By Tyler J. Logan

This book targets those who have held grudges and unforgiveness against
other people. This will bring answers to those who find it hard to forgive.
Too, it speaks to those who went through a lot of terrible events in
which causes them to be weary in the darkest hour. This explains about
destructive criticism and being misunderstood by other people. It will deal
with questions such as confronting and why one cant accept an apology.
This book strongly speaks about unforgiveness and barriers in families.
This is guide that will express healing in a persons soul and spirit.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 5, 2009
• ISBN: 9781456805876

Tyler J. Logan

Tyler J. Logan was born in 1983 in Memphis, TN and raised in Hernando, Mississippi. The year 1998, Tyler started to write in his English Class in junior high school. Then after high school, He shifted from poems and was inspired to write about issues of life from his experiences and about biblical knowledge concerning the bible. Tyler J. Logan is a graduate from Hernando, High School in 2002. After graduating from high school, He went to Southern Arkansas University and received his B. A. degree in May of 2008 with a degree in French (Foreign Languages) and a minor in history. During the summer of 2006, Tyler went to the University of Sainte – Anne in Church Point, Novia Scotia in Canada to advance his skills in the French language and receives a certificate in the immersion program. Now, he concentrates on writing in order to help and hope to people.

Book preview

Copyright © 2009 by Tyler J. Logan.

ISBN: Softcover    978-1-4415-0423-4

ISBN: Ebook        978-1-4568-0587-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

58381

Contents

Introduction

Chapter I.    Why would it be hard to forgive others in such areas

Chapter II.    The weariness of going through our darkest nights in the past and present

Chapter III.    Several areas why one can’t accept an apology from those who hurt them

Chapter IV.    Negative words of destructive criticism spoken over you

Chapter V.    The road to recovery from your past leading to emotional healing

Chapter VI.    Generational Barriers in families

Chapter VII.    A short personal word from me the author

Final Word

Introduction

We define unforgiveness is a inner-most anger that he and she has in their emotions against another person. A lot of people have experienced unforgiveness due the person who has hurt them. I am not going to lie to you, forgiving a person who has hurt you is a very difficult thing to do. The reason why I say this to the readers is because I have dealt with it myself. You have probably faked like you were happy. Actually, you’re not happy at all due to life’s circumstances. You have probably said in your mind that, When are the nights of horror going to stop, when is the chaos going to end, and when I am going to have peace in soul? This is understandable that one would ask themselves these questions in their minds. Like me, I used to go around angry and not smiling at all due to my issues in life. There was an acquaintance of mine who used to see me angry and say, Mr. Grump you need to smile sometimes. Besides, I didn’t like to simile because I felt like that there was nothing to be happy about at all. That’s probably a surprise to some of the readers. My mentality was a statement saying as, I don’t have time to fake and pretend when there is nothing to smile about. I was not happy at all because of dealing with unforgiveness and anger in my soul. There were times that I used to fake that I was happy with my life. You have probably done the same thing while dealing with emotional issues. Some people can fake like they are happy while they are in front of people. Inside of their soul and spirit, they are hurting so bad because of what they have been through in the past. There are some people who don’t waste any time to show that they are not happy with their lives. This means that unforgiveness and resentment has been held inside of their emotions. Too, some people who have unforgiveness in their heart and soul. They will try to fulfill their wounds of the past with other things in order to display that they are happy. Inwardly, they are wounded, angry, and unhappy inside of their souls. Those who say it’s easy to forgive those who have hurt us for years which they are lying. People who have been through a lot of situations in their lives can relate to what I am saying. However, we probably had thoughts such as, Why we were born in this family that is full of abusers and criticizers, why we were in a certain place where people have criticized and scorned us, why we were in a position where certain people teased and talked about us in our presence, why bad things target our lives, what went through the mind of that person who took the life of someone close and precious to us, why were we in the position someone in the family who abused and criticized us, why were we in a place where someone abused us sexually, mentality and emotionally? We wish that these events didn’t occur in our lives. Probably, these events has happened previously. Too, we wonder where is God during our midnight hours of the night when we are ready to give up on life. It seemed that we prayed and nothing happened at all because we wanted out of that situation very badly. Why does it feel like God is far away whenever we are going through tough situations in life? This means that we want to know why he is so silent and not doing anything to get us out of the situation. These justifies that they person are feeling so much pain inside of their spirit and want to have peace in their lives. One will ask, Why is there so much suffering and abuse in this life today? These types of things are normal to the people who cannot forgive those who hurt them. Also for those who have been through a lot things in their own life.

Too, you probably came from a broken home where your relatives don’t want to have anything to do with each other. This comes from what has been done to them. This states that you felt like your family was falling apart because of unforgiveness and chaos because of what you have seen during the years. They just hurt and say harsh critical things to each other. Sometimes, it becomes worse than that in the household. This means to be around relatives who are just crazy and wild. Another thing that we have in our society is criticism. All of us have been criticized to the point that it has damaged our souls. It depends on how deep the harsh words were to cause us not to forgive that person. Too, it’s difficult to forgive a person who have spoken critical words over you. There have been times that you have probably thought in your mind as, I will never gain my life again due to what my abuser done to me. However, you have been hurt so badly and wounded in your spirit that it felt like the situation was hopeless. I deeply understand that you have been paralyzed in your spirit and soul due to your abuse. You felt that someone damaged your innocence in the past.

Too, I don’t want to present this mean comment that some people have said to you in past times, Get over it. Some people have said to you as an expression of assault. Some people who have this attitude think that you don’t want to be healed from your hurts and pains. Most people will present that folks who refuse to forgive don’t want to get healing at all. Deep down inside of your heart, you want to be free and healed in your soul from the horrors of your past. However, I want to be every step of the way with you while reading my book. Besides, you have been through a lot of things in your life just like I have. I really do believe that you want to get pass your hurts and pain. I strongly believe that it will be your destination to emotional healing. This can be the time that you can heal from all your pains and hurts from your past. Firstly, I want to talk to you about unforgiveness in such areas and why could it be difficult to forgive another person.

Chapter I

Why would it be hard to forgive

others in such areas

So you ask yourself why is it difficult to forgive that person who hurt me. The main reason why it would be so hard to forgive that other him or her is because he or she put them through a lot of emotional distress, pain, fear, and oppression. Those who have suffered through a lot abusive situations will feel and think certain thoughts such as why I have to be the victim, why was I the target, and why did I have to go through a lot of terrible situations?" These are things linger inside of a person’s mind by what he or she has been through in their life. We discover that forgiveness is not an option from them because of what they have been through in life. This justifies that they are very angry with the people who oppressed them.

At times, they don’t want to nobody ask them other questions about their past. People who are angry will have certain responses towards another person replying as, I don’t want you to ask me about that person, I don’t want to talk about them, Why do you want to know about it’s not time for you to know it, I don’t want to tell you, If you say something again about he or she again then I going to bash you upside the head, Why did you ask me that question, It’s not none of your business, I am not going to answer that question, Why did you want to know about my past, I don’t have time to talk about that, I don’t have to talk about it, and I am not getting into that right now. These are certain reactions that a person will act towards him or her. This leads a person to react out of anger and madness due to what happened in the past.

Deep hatred against the person who hurt us

A person who has deep hatred against someone continues nothing but to think what he or she has done to him or her. Years of turmoil and oppression will cause a person to act in certain ways to express that they are mad and angry. When one hates a person, he or she doesn’t waste time to be around him or her. Whenever they are in our presence we feel hatred and anger in our minds saying to ourselves as, "I can’t stand to be around him or her, I hate to be in the presence of that person, I want to get a baseball and just beat them until their bones are broken, they make me sick when they