As I See It: A Young Woman's Strange Obsession Confession

By Marlene W Potts

The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

After attending a concert one balmy August evening, Leila McNaire discovers that love has entangled itself into the very core of her being without ever being invited in. Love has trapped her in a web of deceit, and her behavior may lead to the downfall of her marriage. Now Leila is on the rollercoaster of her life as she struggles through the pain and agony of being invisible to the man she loves. She has to find her way through the darkest valley in order to find her light.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Abbott Press
• Release date: Feb 17, 2015
• ISBN: 9781458218698

Marlene W Potts

Born and raised in Washington, DC, M. W. Potts is a dedicated wife and mom of three beautiful young women. She has lived and worked within both the public and private schools and within Federal Government in the DC/MD area most of her life. She has spent the past eleven years committed to the homeschooling of her daughters and others. She is currently an Author, Screenplay writer, a full time care giver and living in the Palm Bay, Fl.

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Copyright © 2015 Marlene W. Potts.

Orchid image by Pierre Munch of Belgium.

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ISBN: 978-1-4582-1869-8 (e)

Abbott Press rev. date: 2/13/2015

Contents

Chapter 1 Desire: Caught by a Song

Chapter 2 Enfolded: Mind, Heart and Soul

Chapter 3 Guilt: Hiding from the Lord

Chapter 4 Coping: Using Your Imagination

Chapter 5 Disillusion: Dreams Don’t Come True

Chapter 6 Recovery: Getting Yourself Back

Bonus Chapter: Miller’s View

Endnotes

About the Author

Dedication

Dedicated to my husband Charles and my three beautiful young women, Jenna, Caitlin, and Kandace, for your patience and understanding during my struggles, physically and emotionally, I will love you always.

To Linda Teel, my friend and dear sister in Christ, for introducing me to Beth Moore.

To Beth Moore, for your extraordinary women’s ministry and words of encouragement, your honesty and openness and all of the lessons that you bring forth in such a humorous and enlightening way. To Max Lucado for your book Facing Your Giants; it gave me a new perspective on my current situation. The image of David and his stones and sling are with me at my bedside when I open my eyes (most of the time). You both have helped millions that you will probably never know about. On their behalf and my own, I thank you.

To my Largo Community Church friends and family for always encouraging and lifting me up with welcoming arms.

Chapter 1

Desire: Caught by a Song

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Desire: Caught by a Song

D esire. It can seep into the smallest, darkest crevices of your soul without you even knowing it. It can be the beginning of the most incredible journey you have ever taken or be the entrance to a cavern you wished you had passed by. If you have ever felt a longing for something or someone, or somewhere, and could never put your finger on why. If you felt the longing well up from a depth, you didn’t know you had. Then you know what I mean.

Timing, this key element, plays a valuable role. How many things must happen in just a certain way in order to achieve a specific outcome? Think about this for a moment. You walk the same exact route to work every morning for five years and leave at the same time. But this morning, your alarm doesn’t ring, and now you’re thirty minutes late. In your haste, you decide to take another route, thinking you can save yourself a little time. You make a turn, and standing on the next corner waiting to cross the street, is someone you know, someone you’ve missed. You recognize the face, even if you haven’t seen it in ten years. Is it timing, fate, destiny or all of the above?

A suggestion for a Mother’s Day gift, a concert, a song and a voice, what do these things have to do with a desire? Laila McNaire’s story of desire will carry you away. Let me tell you. Her husband suggests to her to get concert tickets for her mother for Mother’s Day. She agrees that this would make a great gift and proceeds to purchase the tickets. Remember timing? Mother’s Day is in May, but the concert isn’t until August. In July, she agrees to become a member of a Bible study group that will start in September. Leila has heard nothing of the speaker or content of the study, but the title, Living Beyond Yourself, intrigues her. This piece will rear its head up again a bit later. Things begin to fall into place; the concert is on, and the Leila hears the songs of her childhood. The songs that played on her mother’s stereo for hours at a time. Then she hears a song that captures her heart. His voice, the lyrics, the guitar accompaniment, and melody are wonderful! She goes home and immediately tracks down the song, loads it onto the computer, her MP3 player, her phone, and her laptop. She is enthralled and can’t stop listening to it.

She decides to write to the artist, thinking that this is what most people do when they like or dislike something an artist has done. But when the letter comes back marked undeliverable, she’s a little disheartened. She tries again, using a more specific address, but again, the letter comes back. The desire to contact him to let him know how this song has affected her is overwhelming, but how can she get through to him?

"I can only assume that you’ve had trouble with ‘fan’ mail in the past and would rather remain unreachable to the public. Let me say that, I’m not a journalist or an up-and-coming artist. I’m not sure that I qualify as a fan, and I hate the word ‘groupie’. I’m too old to want your baby and not poor enough to want your money, nor am I love starved enough to force myself on you. I’d never say anything that I believe would be