Love Is a Decision

By Kiran David

A book designed to help people of all ages understand the beauty of love and relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 13, 2016
• ISBN: 9781365391149

Book preview

Love Is a Decision

Prologue

Throw everything you think you know about love out the window, run outside. Pick it up, throw it out again. You have been brainwashed, bamboozled, bewitched. You thought fictional dystopias like 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Anthem and The Hunger Games were simply metaphorical ideas?  Well, there is good news and bad news.

The bad news is that you were wrong; we live in a society where love has been twisted, distorted and contorted into something completely abstract. Relationships, and our pathetic attempts at them are simply just symptoms of a greater issue at hand. We have lost the true understanding of what love is, how it works and why it works. Social media gives us false ideas. Racism, prejudices and bigotry have diluted the purity of love more than we are comfortable admitting. Communication; the very aspect of relationships we claim is so vital, has been on life support --It is probably in the same place where writing letters and in-person conversations are--.  We in fact live in a post-modern society where love has become an emotional, seemingly uncontrollable aspect of our lives. Where happily ever afters are created by spontaneous combustion.

Where effort, commitment and conscious decision-making are no longer as important as feelings, public attention and self-fulfillment. Our relationships are a joke. Literally. We look back on our previous experiences in embarrassment, disdain, and incommodious laughter. We go into new relationships with back-up plans, secret agendas and trust issues that if known prior, would make us unsuitable candidates for love.

But WAIT, there is more. Not only has love become more emotional than conscious, but we actually believe we have it figured out! Seriously. We are comfortable knowing that the idea of love we as a present day society have adopted is the norm. We would rather conform to the standards, beliefs and practices created by entertainment industries and fictional love stories rather than DO love the right way. It has spiraled us into a dark place to say the very least. Relationships have become unattractive; the idea and the beauty of dating or even marriage are now tainted based on our personal experiences, stories we have heard and statistics we have seen.

So where do we go from here? What do we do? How do we reprogram ourselves? Is it realistic? Is it possible? Is it worth it? HA. *Forced evil laughter attempt*

Did you already forget that this was just the bad news? I sure hope not. Because the good news is so important, necessary and conducive to the idea of successful love that a thread (series of tweets tied together) on Twitter has literally transformed into this. A book about decision making. A book for those who want consistency and not just intimacy.

A book that will upset the indecisive, offend the selfish, disappoint the impatient and excite the open-minded. And it does not even begin with a uninspiring life story about the author. It does not need a Hollywood gimmick or a Disney fairy tale to invoke inspiration. It begins simply with a dynamic four worded statement that when understood and applied, will change the way you love forever. And here it is. Are you ready? Brace yourself...

Follow me on Twitter. (@KiranADavid)

.... Ha... Lol... Okay no let us get serious. Here it is. Are you ready?

Love is a decision.

Boom.

Where It All Began

In life there are days that quickly turn from mundane regularities into defining moments. I will never forget the defining moment for me on June 19th, 2016. I woke up on a Wednesday in the Bronx, New York City. I was on a business trip. Speaking at a church in Manhattan for a week. The plans for the day consisted of breakfast, a date at guitar center in Times Square and sermon preparation for later that evening. The weather was warm, the day was normal and there was no hint or suggestion that it would be a day that would change my life forever.

I received a text from a friend. We had not spoken in a long time and we decided to spend some time catching up. We talked life, family and as typical for adolescents we eventually made our way to love and relationships. She began to describe to me the situation she was in with a guy who seemed too good to be true. She illustrated (in dramatic fashion) how he had been perfect in the beginning; well put together, good family, great school, going places, the whole nine yards. They talked daily, got close, the went on dates, he even met some of her family. Everything seemed to be progressing fine, until one day it changed. The vibe was different, the effort subsided, the excuses heightened. Within weeks it became clear that something was wrong and she was now stuck, unsure of her next move. As I was conversing with her a peculiar feeling came over me. From the way she was describing this guy and their situation it sounded like a carbon-copy of myself. I explained to her how I was feeling and I told her I could probably give her a breakdown of his next few moves, thoughts, feelings and actions based on what I knew about myself. I gave the advice and she was in shock at how well I seemed to know him. The conversation itself was not too long but it was extremely helpful for the both of us.

It occurred to me that this situation might be relatable to more people than just ourselves. With less than two thousand followers on Twitter I did not expect much, but I figured I would be able to help a couple people dealing with guys like us. If not, at least help some men realize their erroneous actions. I screen-shotted the conversation and proceeded to upload it to Twitter. Right before I did however, I stopped myself. Or rather, another feeling stopped me. I did not want to invade my friend’s privacy but I still wanted to help. From that moment came the decision to write the thread that would create this book. The thread in its entirety is in the following