Happy at Home, Happy at Work: The Powerful Rewards of Building Character

By Susanne M Alexander and Cathy L Greenberg

Happyiness and character strengths are closely linked. We build those strengths as we practice them in our homes and in the workplace. The more we apply them in one venue, the more they impact the other, and vice versa. Marriages, families, and workplaces are happier, healthier places to be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marriage Transformation LLC
• Release date: Jun 24, 2021
• ISBN: 9781940062266

Susanne M Alexander

Susanne M. Alexander is a Relationship and Marriage Educator and Coach, book author, and publisher with Marriage Transformation®. She is certified to offer couple's assessments through Prepare-Enrich® and for individuals with the Character Foundations Assessment™. Susanne is passionate about facilitating individuals and couples making good character, relationship, and marriage choices through building knowledge and skills. Couples who make excellent choices create happy, healthy relationships and marriages and prevent divorces. Susanne meets with individual and couple clients globally via the internet for character growth, relationship and marriage preparation, and couple relationship and marriage strengthening. Susanne writes articles and books about character, relationships, and marriage. She also develops online courses for healthy relationships, marriages, and families. She is a member of the National Alliance for Relationship and Marriage Education (NARME). Susanne shares: "I have had an adventurous time with relationships and marriages. My first marriage gave me a daughter-and now son-in-law and two granddaughters. However, it was very difficult, as he had many illnesses. The marriage ended in divorce when our daughter was 18. I married again, a very happy marriage, with three young adult stepchildren. We offered marriage preparation and marriage enrichment efforts together. This second husband died from brain cancer just before our 10th wedding anniversary. Matching websites, dating experiences, and moving led me to find a third husband with two adult stepchildren, and we are in a happy marriage. With all these adventures, along with professional education, I have had many opportunities to experience, observe, and learn about the importance of finding someone with many character strengths to marry and then building a good marriage partnership with them. It has not been easy, but when I have learned relationship skills and when marriage works well with love, friendship, and consultation, it's a great place to be." Susanne is originally from Canada and now lives with her husband Phil L. Donihe in Tennessee, in the United States. They often collaborate in working with individuals and couples. He is a coach and also certified with the Character Foundations Assessment™. Susanne's books can be purchased through her website www.marriagetransformation.com and many other online bookstores. Anyone wishing a discount on bulk purchases for group use or for re-selling should contact her directly. [e-mail]; www.marriagetransformation.com; www.transformationlearningcenter.com; https://www.instagram.com/marriagetransformation/; Twitter: marriage4ever; https://www.facebook.com/MarriageTransformation; https://www.linkedin.com/in/susannemalexander/; https://www.youtube.com/user/SusanneMAlexander

Book preview

Appreciations

"I think the work world is ripe for topics such as this book. With profit being the driving force behind many successful businesses, it is easy for us to become confused and think that more money or power is what makes us happy. If that were true, the richest and most powerful among us would be the happiest. We need only live this way for a short while to see that happiness does not come from feeding our desires and rejecting our aversions. As we come to realize this in our personal and family lives, we may experience an incongruency with how we feel we must act at work. In Happy at Home, Happy at Work, Susanne offers a clear and straightforward way for us to cultivate specific character traits that lead to happiness, allowing our personal and work lives to reflect the strength and congruency that come when we live from our deepest values."

~ John Cunningham, Director of Advanced Process Services, The RoviSys Co.

Freud had it right: humans need success in BOTH Love and Work to be happy and fulfilled. It’s great to have a book that not only helps us stay mindful about the necessity to maintain balance in these two vital areas but that also gives us ‘crossover’ tools that work in both arenas.

~ Diane Sollee, Founder and Director of smartmarriages.com

In this readily accessible and enlightening resource, Susanne Alexander brings together research and knowledge from a wide variety of fields. She elaborates a reasoned and logical case for what business leaders already know intuitively about workers with character qualities like honesty, commitment, trustworthiness, love, excellence, and more. These individuals can better navigate the worlds of work and home, and they have a positive impact on both. This book is a must-read for people who know that balancing their total lives yields happiness and greater results for their families and workplaces.

~ Matthew D. Turvey, Psy.D., L.P., Author of Marriage and Family Wellness: Corporate America’s Business?; Director of Strategic Alliances, Life Innovations

Examining the link between life satisfaction and work satisfaction is an important area of research and application. And, viewing every employee as a whole individual with richness in every facet of life is vital to longterm organizational success. Thank goodness a resource like this one is now available. This book will certainly enrich the life of every reader and organization that chooses to use it systematically.

~ Johanna Merritt Wu, Ph.D., Organizational Development Consultant; a former VP of Human Resources and VP of Quality at GE Capital

Happy at Home, Happy at Work

Published by Character Quality Enterprises, a service of Marriage Transformation LLC Cleveland, Ohio, USA

www.marriagetransformation.com; 216-383-9943 or 800-501-6682

International Standard Book Number/ISBN: 978-0-9816666-0-0

Library of Congress Control Number/LCCN: 2008904155

© 2008 by Marriage Transformation LLC, all international rights reserved. First printing: June 2008; Second printing: July 2008

Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or by any other means, including in the form of a photographic or digital recording. It may not be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise copied for public or private use, including on the Internet, without the written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Anyone wishing to translate the text into another language must seek permission in advance and obtain approval in writing. Thank you for respecting this international legal copyright notice. Your integrity with honoring it spreads a spirit of loving respect throughout the world and makes us very happy!

This publication is intended to provide helpful educational information about relationships, marriage, the workplace, and character. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher and the authors are not engaged in rendering legal or clinical advice. No information, advice, or suggestions are intended to take the place of a therapist or licensed professional. If expert assistance is required, the services of a competent licensed professional should be sought. The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly, by the information contained in this book.

Cover Design and Graphics: Jeffrey W. Duckworth, www.duckofalltrades.com

Layout and Design: Susanne M. Alexander and Joyce Ashman

Editor: Jane Ives; Proofreader: Kay Muttart

Cartoonists: Dave Coverly (www.speedbump.com) and Randy Glasbergen (www.glasbergen.com); All cartoons have been licensed to Marriage Transformation LLC for use in this book only; all international rights belong to the cartoonists. Back cover cartoon is by Randy Glasbergen, © 2001.

Dedication

To my husband Craig Farnsworth, who has helped me experience a truly happy marriage and find my passion at work. His commitment to service, spirituality, sensitivity, courtesy, friendliness, helpfulness, and dedication to building unity continually inspire and uplift me.

Acknowledgements

I gratefully extend appreciation to the many people who helped in the development and creation of this book.

John S. Miller has coauthored books with me and diligently and confidently contributed his depth of character knowledge. His website is www.solvingconflicts.com. Linda Kavelin Popov of The Virtues Project has been generous in sharing knowledge and resources as well. Her websites are www.virtuesproject.com and www.paceofgrace.net.

Others who have provided honest feedback, patient editing, and generous contributions are: Stephen Adams, Joyce Ashman, Julie Baumgardner, Matthew Bennett, Michael Bond, Jessica Chapin, Dave Coverly, Jeffrey Duckworth, Laurie Cunningham, John Cunningham, Krsnanandini Devi Dasi, Craig Farnsworth, Tamaura Foley-Blanton, Randy Glasbergen, Red Grammer, Cathy Greenberg, Linda Gruenspan, Scott Haltzman, Jane Ives, Stephen Judah, Diana Leigh, Johanna Merritt Wu, Janet Murray, Kay Muttart, Diane Sollee, Squires Family, Nancy Tolles, Debbie Boyd-Tressler, Nik Tressler, Matthew Turvey, Brad Withers, Melodie Yates, and Jean Yousefi.

Happy at Home, Happy at Work is Customizable

If you enjoy this book and find it useful, please tell your coworkers, managers, friends, and relatives!

To place an order or to have a customized version of this book made for your company/organization, please contact us: 216-383-9943, 800-501-6682, or [e-mail]. We can add your logo to the cover, include requested content, or delete non-applicable content. We can help you create ways to use this book as a fundraiser for charity. We are happy to work with you!

Table of Contents

Foreword: Cathy L. Greenberg, Ph.D.,

Certified Personal and Executive Coach

Introduction: Do You Want to Be Happy?

PART 1: Exploring Character and Happiness

1: The Art of Creating Happiness

Being Happy at Home

Being Happy at Work

Discovering Your Happiness Tools

2: What Is Character?

3: The Language of Character Development

Strengths

Areas That Need Strengthening

Misuse of Character Strengths

4: Character Development

5: Character Qualities for Creating Happiness at Home and at Work

6: The Importance of Character at Home

7: The Importance of Character at Work

Offering Customer Service Excellence

Linking Character and Ethics

Understanding How Work Choices Affect Home Life

8: Making Character-Based Choices at Home

9: Making Character-Based Choices at Work

10: The Power of Words

Negative Words at Home and at Work

Criticism

Backbiting, Gossip, and Slander

Positive Words at Home and at Work

Appreciation

Tone of Voice

11: The Power of Actions

12: Understanding and Developing Your Character

Understanding Self-Assessment

Timing for Assessing Yourself

Challenges with Assessing and Developing Yourself

Choosing to Change for the Better

Responding to Feedback

Assessing My Character (worksheet)

Developing My Character (worksheet)

Assessing My Misuse of Character Qualities (worksheet)

13: Success Strategies

Focus on Your Strengths

Try New Activities and Experiences

Persevere

Obtain Help and Guidance from Others

Respond Effectively to Challenges

Lighten Up

Recover from Poor Choices

Influence the Culture of Home and Work

Create Goals with Clear Action Steps

PART 2: Experiencing Character Building

Overview

Using the Character Quality Descriptions

Setting Goals and Reminders

1 – Commitment

2 – Cooperation

3 – Courtesy

4 – Excellence

5 – Faithfulness

6 – Friendliness

7 – Helpfulness

8 – Honesty

9 – Love

10 – Moderation

11 – Patience

12 – Respect

13 – Responsibility

14 – Trustworthiness

15 – Truthfulness

APPENDICES

Appendix 1: Expanded List of Character Qualities

Appendix 2: Corporate and Relational Wellness Statement

Appendix 3: About Character Quality Enterprises

Foreword – Cathy Greenberg, Ph.D.

As someone who has spent a lifetime achieving happiness and coaching executives on being successful by applying the new science of happiness, I really appreciate this book. Susanne Alexander takes what we already know about the importance of applying happiness and expands it to our relationships/marriages, and most importantly our character—all of which are vital to our personal and professional success in today’s evolving and complex world.

Research showing what makes relationships and marriages happy and successful has been underway for about 30 years, yet there are many unexplored facets. While how to achieve happy relationships and marriages makes for great entertainment on talk shows, how happy relationships and marriage can affect job performance is very new data. The magic in this book is the novel and vital way Susanne links these topics together with the emerging science of character and applies them collectively to our relationships, job performance, and our ultimate happiness and success.

I know that you want to be happy, both at home and at work. Don’t we all? Achieving happiness is very connected to the choices you make every day. How you use positive language to speak to those you care about and how you act at home and at work affect your mood, your outlook, your attitude, and all of your interactions with everyone around you. The science of happiness shows that the power of possibilities, appreciation, and focusing on what’s right far outweigh the alternatives.

Laws that impact judgment calls based on the ethical choices of people and companies help us think about and hopefully make better choices. Without character, however, as a foundation for all decision-making associates—both employees and managers—laws can only make a minor long-term difference to the bottom line of how companies function and to the top line that is evidence of their success. Good individual choices ultimately lead to happiness. This book can definitely support anyone seeking to make better choices at home and at work.

The pairing of relational and corporate wellness is a new and exciting concept and one that can be framed as learning-in-action. Over the coming years there will be many efforts made to understand what works well in a wide variety of company climates and for those acting at all levels and functions. We will also begin to see a more integrated life experience for those who seek successful working options both at home or outside the home as part of a more balanced lifestyle. This book is beautifully organized to help you apply what matters most to your life immediately. Reading this book is truly an excellent first step for your personal and professional wellbeing, happiness, and success.

Cathy L. Greenberg, Ph.D., Certified Personal and Executive Coach h2c: Happy Companies, Healthy People

Co-author of What Happy Companies Know and What Happy Women Know

www.h2cleadership.com and www.CathyGreenberg.com

HA-HA(PPY)! Moment

Introduction – Do You Want To Be Happy?

Happiness is a positive feeling, a sense of rightness and well-being, ranging from contentment and pleasure to delight, bliss, and joy.

Happiness involves finding and appreciating the light within oneself and radiating it out to others.

Do you know what it feels like to be happy? Do you want to discover how to feel happier? In my life, I have felt the highest highs and lowest lows and now clearly value the delightful happiness that comes when I make wise choices and see the positive results. I invite you to learn how to increase your happiness by doing the same.

You may go through your day following your normal routines, often so busy that taking the time to think about your own happiness seems like a luxury. If I suggest that you also take time to pay attention to your character choices, you may just roll your eyes and suggest that I do a reality check. Then throw into the mix the task of improving your relationships, and well…it may seem like a lot to take on. If that is how you feel, let me provide you with some quick, simple, and easy ways in this book to understand, value, and ease into making positive changes in your life.

On the other hand, you may spend most of your time actively pursuing what you think will make you happy, but often experience an inner sense