Steps to Happiness

By David Tripp

Most people don't understand exactly what will make them happy. They just don't know themselves well at all. So they search outside themselves for happiness, in a job, a spouse, a family, a title, a paycheck, a fancy house.  This results in depression, loneliness, bad relationships, and dissatisfaction.  "Steps to Happiness" will take you on a journey of self discovery, with happiness as your target. The book has steps to take, exercises you can complete, and points to ponder. Bring your life into balance and find your happiness. 27000 words.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Tripp
• Release date: May 9, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201542863

Book preview

Chapter 1

In Search Of Happiness

Most people don’t understand exactly what will make them happy. They just don’t know themselves well at all. So they search outside themselves for happiness, in a job, a spouse, a family, a title, a paycheck, a fancy house.

As a result, happiness is constantly out of their control and a perpetual moving target that never stands still long enough for them to grasp. I’m not saying that these things don’t bring happiness, they can.

The key point is that if everything you’re searching for remains outside of you, you’ll always be chasing and scrambling.

Pathways to happiness

- Feeling good. Seeking pleasurable emotions and sensations, focused on reaching happiness by maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain.

- Engaging fully. Pursuing activities that engage you fully.

- Doing good. Searching for meaning outside yourself, knowing your true self and acting in accordance with your virtues.

- You create your state of mind by the things you do, and you cement that by the things you tell yourself.

Things that won’t make you happy of themselves:

- Money and material things.

- Youth. Being young and physically attractive has little or no bearing on happiness.

- Children. Children can be a tremendous source of joy and fulfillment, but their day-to-day care is quite demanding and can increase stress, financial pressures, and marital strife.

Why You May Not Be Happy

- One barrier to happiness is Complexity. The simple solution would be to simplify. Modern life has elevated individual choice to the highest level, but these choices come at a big price. We often confuse quality of life, with standard of life. After a point, the connection between the two disappears. If you simplify your life, you create more space in your day, making it possible to reflect on your life.

- Another barrier to happiness is living at a breakneck pace. The simple solution would be to take a pause. The same culture that entangles you in a web of complexity may also have you on the constant chase. That kind of tension takes a toll on your soul. Taking a pause just a few minutes a day can help you recharge, and make you feel happier.

A good time to do this is in the morning. Without it, your life may feel out of control. Sit in a quiet place and simply anchor your mind on your breathing. When your mind wanders, bring it back to your breath. Through this process, you learn to observe what your mind is saying.

- A third barrier to happiness is negativity. The simple solution would be to let go. Negative, compulsive thoughts do have a quality of stickiness to them. How you see things and the way you experience the world are strongly linked, making it critical to adopt a positive outlook.

In our culture, we take it as natural that people are angry, depressed, or dejected. No wonder we get depressed, it’s a depressing world view. It says you can’t do anything about it. There are simple steps you can take to counteract negativity and enhance your happiness. Practising gratitude is one.

- A fourth barrier to happiness is despair. The simple solution would be to stay hopeful. Ever hear Don’t get your hopes up? There’s no evidence that hope is hurtful. Instead, hope can greatly enhance happiness in people. Three components are essential for hope to thrive. They are having goals, as well as a plan and the motivation to achieve them.

- A fifth barrier to happiness is suppressing sadness. The simple solution would be to feel the real. Having a positive outlook doesn’t mean never feeling sadness. Happiness is not the absence of sadness. It is not a stiff upper lip.

Phony happiness is not good. By suppressing sadness, you suppress other, more positive emotions, as well. You can actually become more anxious and depressed. Find outlets for sadness and frustration. Then you gain some measure of control.

- A sixth barrier to happiness is navel-gazing. The simple solution would be to connect with others. The more self-absorbed you are, the more your world closes in, and the less realistic you become, all of which produces a vicious circle. You become oblivious to the needs of others, and the world shrinks still more, making you less able to see outside yourself.

Compassion engages us with others, removes isolation, builds resilience, and leads to deep fulfillment. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

Chapter 2

Your Values and Beliefs

Goals, Values, and Spiritual Life: These are three different things, but they make up an important category that involves an internal, positive focus on something that’s greater than who you are right now. These are all things that bring meaning to your life, and this is closely tied to your happiness.

WHEN PEOPLE HAVE A clear set of core values:

-It’s easier to make big life decisions around pursuing passions, long-term career goals, and relationships.

-They are less likely to engage in destructive thought patterns, especially in difficult life situations.

-They tolerate physical pain more easily.

-They have greater self-discipline and focus when studying or working.

-Social connections are stronger.

Exercise: Defining your personal core values

1. Start with who you admire?

-what it is about them that inspires you?

-what are their admirable qualities?

-what are some of their behaviours and actions you would like to copy?

2. Next write down what inspires you to take action?

-what or who are you willing to take a stand for?

-what feelings cause you to speak up or act?

-what you were willing to risk?

3. When do you feel most like yourself?

-what kind of situations allow you to feel authentic?

-In situations that feel wrong in some way, what’s going on? Write down:

-who are you with?

-what are you feelings?

-what do these experiences cost you emotionally or physically?

-In situations where you feel real and authentic, what’s going on? Write down:

-who are you with?

-what activities are you involved in?

-positive emotions or outcomes of these experiences?

Chapter 3

Explore Your Spirituality:

1. Show respect to the people that have gone before you. The quest to understand, is as old as humanity itself. Why redo all of their work. Check out all of their findings and their writings, even those outside of your box.

2. This journey you embark on, must be your own. You, and you alone, must decide what your view of God will look like. Do not blindly accept the teachings of another. It must be true to you or it is worthless.

3. Start here and now, right where you are. Lao-tzu once said, A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. He was right in every regard. Start your journey with whatever first step makes the most sense to you.

4. Spiritual growth is mastered through practice. If you don’t find your answers after your first few steps, take some more in a different direction. It will require time, effort, and energy.

6. Although leaving questions unanswered may sound contrary to your goal, you should not be afraid of them. It would be arrogant to believe your mind could understand all the mysteries of the universe.

Steps To Becoming More Spiritual:

- Set your intention.

- Feed your mind.

- Be still every day.

- Don’t neglect your body.

- Approach your practice with playfulness.

- Watch for signs.

- Connect with your tribe.

- Experiment.

The best thing about building your spiritual practice is that it is yours. You alone get to choose what works for you. And there are no rules so don’t be afraid to explore. Cherry pick from any discipline, idea, or philosophy that speaks to you. Try everything and trust your gut. Whatever fuels your interest, resonates with your heart, and feeds your soul...do that!

A rough guideline on how to begin.

- Start small and make new habits easy.

- Commit. Love yourself enough to attempt to find moments of transcendent emotions daily.

- Practice. Finding moments of transcendence to replace moments of frustration will not happen by waving a