Joshua's Story - Our Gorgeous Boy

By Brinny Welton and White Magic Studios

Shane and Brinny had everything they could have wished for when they unexpectedly fell pregnant for the third time.

They were thrust into a world of disability as Joshua was born profoundly disabled, a world that is both scary and unknown but their love for their boys pulls them through.

They must embark on a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Maple Publishers
• Release date: Apr 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9781914366161

Book preview

Chapter 1 – The Beginning

We had been married for 10 years when I fell pregnant for the third time. We already had 2 beautiful boys, B & J (I will use initials rather than names to protect their privacy). They were, and still are, our world! B was six and J was three and I had recently started working as a School Administrator in a primary school. It was a big change for me after working as a Director’s PA for the City Council for 8 years, but I was enjoying this new challenge and the hours fitted in perfectly with family life. My husband had been working as a Prison Officer for a number of years and had recently been promoted to Senior Officer, so all in all life was going well. Every spare moment we had we shared with our beloved boys and we enjoyed meeting up with family and friends with their children. We owned our lovely home and our house was always full of laughter and love. We both found parenthood absolutely amazing and nothing was more important to us than our boys, family & friends.

I had been feeling nauseas for several days and jokingly said to my husband, Shane, well I am either turning into a hypochondriac or I am pregnant. My period wasn’t due yet but we had had one blip in our use of contraception. I think you are pregnant Shane remarked to which I replied don’t be daft, we only had one slip up at the wrong time of the month and I’m 32, so most likely not as fertile as when I was in my 20’s. Well I think you are, he reiterated. Oh for goodness sake, I will take a pregnancy test to shut you up," I casually said laughing. So after a trip to the chemist to pick up a test kit, I retreated to the bathroom to do the test. Well that line was pretty clear even though I hadn’t even missed my period yet, as there was still a couple of days to go before I was due. My other 2 boys had both been planned so this was a first ‘mistake’ for us. I rang Shane at work to let him know the positive result and all I could hear down the phone was a loud cheer! Those Prison Officers would prove to be such an amazing bunch further down the line. After the initial disbelief, it began to register with us that we were having another baby. Well we said, maybe not planned, but another baby is still a gift and we started to get excited for the next arrival. We also decided that 3 children were enough and so Shane went to be sterilised there and then. We thought about the possibility of miscarriage but agreed we still had 2 lovely boys anyway. We decided to take the boys to Disneyland Paris before the new baby was born and had a wonderful time.

I had already passed on all my baby stuff including pushchair, clothes etc not expecting to have another baby. Never mind I thought, any excuse to buy new! We had more disposable cash than before so we happily prepared for baby number 3 and the boys were excited too. Oh maybe a girl this time my Nan remarked. Yes maybe who knows? I answered, that would be nice after 2 boys but we are not really bothered, just healthy & happy is fine. We say those remarks so flippantly don’t we? We always assume that everything will be fine. After all, we go through all those checks at antenatal clinic including scans & blood tests so surely any problems would be picked up?

Just the 4 of us, 1996 At Euro Disney– a few months pregnant with Joshua

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Chapter 2 – Preparing for the New Arrival

The pregnancy followed the same path as my previous 2 pregnancies with one slight hiccup. I went for all those routine tests and at my scan something showed in the fluid around the baby’s brain.

I had been dreading the hormone blood test, as when I was pregnant with J the risk factor came back high for possible Downs Syndrome. I subsequently had an amniocentesis (fluid from around the baby is taken and the chromosomes are tested for abnormalities) but it came back negative, showing with 100% certainty that the baby I was carrying did not have Downs Syndrome. After such a scare, we carried on with the pregnancy safe in the knowledge that this had been a false alarm. When J was born he was absolutely perfect and has never had any problems. I even asked my GP at the after birth checks if I was at greater risk of having a child with Downs Syndrome because of this blood test scare. He said categorically not, in fact even if J had been born with Downs Syndrome, I was at no more risk than anybody else and, anyway, he had no disabilities at all so nothing to worry about.

We were so relieved when the blood tests came back as all clear with this third pregnancy. Plain sailing we thought, until that scan showed something of possible concern. Here we go again we thought, probably a load of nothing but concerned nonetheless. The doctor came in to talk to us and explained that sometimes a type of cyst can develop in the fluid around the baby’s brain during development and it can be of concern or completely irrelevant. His advice was to come back at 20 weeks for a further scan. He went on to say that if the cyst was still there at 20 weeks, then it might be wise to undergo further investigations. However, if the cyst had disappeared at this point then it would be nothing to worry about. I was really worried about the possibility of maybe having to terminate this pregnancy so late on but tried not to dwell on it. We went back for the 20-week scan and it had disappeared, hurray!!!

At one of the scans, we were told we could find out if we were expecting a boy or a girl. Well we didn’t need a professional to tell us, it was very clear even to us that we were having another boy. Did you want a football team? the Doctor enquired smiling? Oh well at least we know what we are doing with a boy we laughed.

Life carried on as normal and time flew by. Just to say though, I was absolutely enormous! My belly that is and oh yes, my boobs as well! My legs and bum stayed slim though and from the back you couldn’t tell I was pregnant. I always thought I looked like a weeble! Remember those, weebles wobble but they don’t fall down, ha ha! Other than being a weeble, I was really well and fortunately never suffered with morning sickness either. A natural child bearer I thought, must be all those common genes I come from I would jest, it’s made me tough! The joke is when people first meet me they often think I am some feminine, delicate soul and perhaps a little bit posh, until they got to know me that is! I have always had attitude and a strength of character that would become invaluable later on.

I had been quite a shy child but life, and the support of my lovely Mum and Step Father, had turned me into something of a fighter.

My parents split when I was 3 and I’m pretty sure my Dad was an alcoholic. I have very few happy memories of time spent with him. I am fiercely independent and will always stick up for the under dog! I remember being kidnapped twice by him and taken away from my mum. The first time, we had been staying at our paternal grandma’s house for the weekend and as usual he spent most of his time in the pub, my sister and I were left to play mostly unattended. We were only primary school age when we would get the bus back to our mum or get in a taxi on our own as we hated these access visits. He would take us out in the morning for a long walk, which was ok but he would upset us by calling our mum names and saying hurtful things. We would always fiercely defend our mum. Anyway, we had gone for one of our usual visits but this time he told us we were going on a trip. I was very young and can’t remember all the details. What I do remember is going on a ferry, mainly because my sister became unwell with seasickness. We checked into a hotel room but as usual my father took off to the bar and left us in the bedroom unattended. I remember this because I thought it was great fun as we could order room service!

My older sister picked up the phone and asked for 2 bags of crisps and 2 bottles of pop. I immediately, being the younger one, picked up the phone again and asked for 100 bags of crisps and 20 bottles of pop! Needless to say, Reception got hold of our father in the bar and sent him up to our room. He took us to stay with his Aunt in Ireland. Apparently she had become suspicious when she saw that we didn’t have any belongings. He had told her that he had been awarded custody, but she rang the Police and we were then reunited with our mum. He kidnapped me again when I was in Reception year at school. I remember him coming into the cloakroom but I didn’t recognize him. I thought he was my friend’s father. He picked me up and grabbed my coat and then ran with me under his arm down the school drive into a waiting taxi at the bottom. I recall seeing the rather large headmistress and other staff members running after us but didn’t really understand what was going on. He took me to his mum’s house and I cried for my sister, I knew I wouldn’t be allowed my mum. My sister had moved on to a different junior school and he hadn’t realised this. Fortunately I was soon back home again with my mum. I remember another time, when he came home late at night from the pub and was, as usual, very drunk. I think I was about 8 years old. We could hear him shouting outside our bedroom saying he wanted me to sleep in his bed and I was really scared. My sister and I moved the chest of drawers in front of the bedroom door so he couldn’t get in. I sat crying with my sister cuddling me saying don’t worry, I wont let him get you. I recall the double bed my sister and I shared had a feather duvet on it and to this day, I cannot bear feather duvets!

So you can probably see why my sister and I have turned out resilient. I cannot abide bullies or prejudice in any form and am not afraid to say so. I may have got this trait from my Nan, I remember her picking me up after school discos & breaking up fights! Go Nan! Although mortified at the time, I think she passed on that fighting spirit and the ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude.

In my leaving speech from the City Council, my Director said the good thing about Brinny is that you always know exactly where you stand and everyone laughed. I laughed at myself as well; everybody knew my bark was worse than my bite and that I was actually a big softie albeit in a small frame.

Have you not had that baby yet? You are enormous! seemed to be the words out of everybody’s mouth as the pregnancy drew nearer to the end. I had been told to expect a large baby and as each week went by, I became more and more concerned at the prospect of a very large baby. At my last hospital appointment it was agreed that they would induce me at 10 days overdue if I had not gone into labour beforehand. All was quiet as I passed my due date. I even had a birthday and had to change my admission forms to alter my age! Come on baby, I was expecting to be a mother again at 32 not 33 I laughed. At 9 days overdue I went to bed with the prospect of being induced the next morning. This was new for me and I was a bit apprehensive but equally was well ready for this baby to come out. The boys went to bed at about 7pm and we took ourselves to bed about 10.30 pm to hopefully get a good night’s sleep before tomorrow. No such luck, why does Mother Nature do that? I woke up about midnight feeling a bit damp. Surely I haven’t had an accident I thought.

My waters had been tough as old boots with my other 2 babies & had to be burst by the midwife, so I wasn’t expecting labour to start like this. My hind waters had burst, so only a trickle but burst nonetheless. I had no pain and felt tired but unfortunately the midwives insisted I had to go to the labour ward to minimise infection risk. What a nuisance but we did as we were told and set off to the hospital after my Mum arrived to take care of the boys.

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Chapter 3 – The Birth of Joshua

After several hours being checked over on the labour ward it was decided that I could go off to the normal antenatal ward until labour became more advanced. It was a really busy ward and there were lots of visitors. I told Shane to go home for a few hours as I could be here for some time. I was checked over