Rubber Band Leadership

By Paul Heagen

Tension-the right kind, at the right time, not too much, not too little-is the most powerful influencer in whether things get done. Ignore it, and it can imperil your best intentions. Master it, and you have unlocked one of the most significant but misunderstood elements of human endeavor.  

This book is intended

• Language: English
• Publisher: Defining Moments Consulting
• Release date: Feb 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9780578841564

Book preview

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Preface

CHAPTER One: Get A Little Tension Going On

Chapter Two: Tension -- The Common Denominator in Action and Change

Chapter Three: Level 1 -- Apathy

Chapter Four: Level 5 -- Stress

Chapter Five: Level 3 -- Power

Chapter Six: Level 2 -- Power/Apathy

Chapter Seven: Level 4 -- Power/Stress

Chapter Eight: Getting your Sense of Tense

Chapter Nine: Reading the signals of tension

Chapter Ten: Get a Move On

Chapter Eleven: Putting It All To Work

Paul Heagan

Other Books by Paul Heagen

Real Owls Don’t Bark

An Intersection of Strangers

The Leader’s Climb

Must Be Present To Win

Owner-Occupied

These Three Things

Copyright © 2021 by Paul Heagen | Defining Moments Consulting

All rights reserved. Published in the United States of America by Defining Moments Consulting. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: This publication is designed for entertainment purposes only. It is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in rendering legal, investment, accounting or other professional services. While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. Neither publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, personal, or other damages.

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FIRST EDITION

Preface

Tension has been there all along. It’s time to make it something that works for you and the people you lead.

Adam was stuck.

That was the opening line of my book The Leader’s Climb, co-authored with my mentor, fellow leadership coach, and good friend Bob Parsanko.

At the time—some eight years ago—the sentiment that a leader could get stuck was a common refrain from our respective clients. It was symptomatic of the unrelenting pressure on executives to keep up with the dizzying pace of business, and deluding themselves into imagining that if they just worked harder, faster—smarter—they could get unstuck, get more done, be more efficient and productive. Our remedy for the character Adam in that book was simple but powerful: Slow down, build self-awareness, accept rather than combat realities, and open yourself up to a more abundant range of options. It worked in the story; it works in real life.

Still, I saw so many executives approach their own stuckness with a muscular, overcoming mindset (men and women both) to bull through and get on with it, whatever that it was. It’s all about execution, right? You do this, you get that. Do this, get that. Input leads to output.

What I suspected, even if they did not, was an emotional component in this process. Curiously, sometimes it took the form of ambivalence (Yeah, not a problem, I can do that easily...) or something looking a lot like anxiety (This is driving me nuts but I don’t know how to deal with it...). Other times there was a determination bordering on bravado that did not always match up with the reality that confronted them.

Use the word emotion with some leaders and you are likely to see them shaking their head dismissively, like a catcher in baseball shaking off the sign from the pitcher. There is no elective course in business school about the role of emotions in decision-making, yet I was convinced it was fueling (if not infecting) their thinking, as well as their self- and situational awareness much more than they realized or would confess.

What brought my rumination into focus is when I met T. Falcon Napier. A career trainer and consultant over nearly four decades, he had embarked years ago on a quest to explore and perhaps codify the influence of what I was calling emotions but he labeled tension. T. as he is known by his close-knit community of coaches and consultants, is a brilliant chap, but in this journey, he has been a curator of deep behavioral research and practical application of this notion that we pay attention to our tension.

By his thinking, my starting point — emotions — was merely symptomatic of a deeper driver: Tension, and the elements that shape it. Managing emotions as a singular component of behavior is muddy, messy, and oftentimes fleeting. However, emotions can be a window into this thing called tension and—alas!—now we’re onto something that can be understood, managed, even mastered.

Why write a book on tension? Why is that in the business section of publications and not in the self-help category?

Simply put: Tension has a profound impact on leadership—not only how you lead yourself, but in how you lead others. Misunderstand or ignore it, and it can undermine your ability to see things clearly and act appropriately. Use it—master it—and you have unlocked one of the most significant but misunderstood elements of human behavior.

If more leaders would become students and, later, masters of tension management, they would get a lot more of the right things done, and done in the right way.

The problem is that too many people have been taught, conditioned, brainwashed into rejecting tension as something that might be governing them. Tension poses is an enemy of rational reasoned, measured leadership. To admit to tension is to accede to a lack of skill or maturity. Can’t handle your tension? What’s the matter with you! Yet, oddly enough, we use tension all the time to get things done. The bad part is that unless we are intentional about it, we are abusing tension for what it really is (or allowing it to abuse us!). For most, whether you are on the giving or receiving end of it, we treat tension as an unwelcome intruder to our well-ordered world.

This book, borne out of the work of T., is intended to change that. It is my goal to help more leaders understand how to identify, measure, and master tension in themselves, in their relationships, and in their organizations to reach a whole new level of human endeavor. What, not strategy? No. Running a business is as much about guiding human endeavor. True, strategy, vision, technology, and data can all factor into that, but you are really missing something if you don’t see tension as the potion that converts all those static elements into a real force for performance and change.

After reading this book, my hope is that you will not see tension management as just some interesting concept but as a foundation for how you lead. Mastering tension management can equip you with the radar, the sensors, the keen insight you bring to every business meeting, interaction, event and challenge that faces you.

Because if you can learn and practice what I share with you here, you will open up— as T. did for me—a transformational view of what it takes to get things done with and through people, including yourself.

So let’s get to work.

Grab a rubber band.

CHAPTER One:

Get A Little Tension Going On

Hold a large, thick rubber band between the outstretched fingers of your hands.

Got it? Now, before I even said what to do next, what did you do naturally?

My guess is that you held that rubber band with just a bit of tension. Too loose and it draped uselessly across your fingers; too tight and it either started to dig into your fingers or you had to worry it might snap.

What you just experienced—naturally and in just a few seconds—is the role of tension in doing anything. Not too much, not too little—just enough to let you know it’s there and it has some stored energy for the work ahead. Tension is not a static condition; it is