A Lioness Heart

By Genevieve Pantin

As modern-day women, we sometimes forget who we are and where we came from. We get so lost and engrossed in our daily lives that we lose track of what's really important to us.

 

A Lioness Heart

• Language: English
• Publisher: Passionpreneur Publishing
• Release date: Dec 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781922456199

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

The Light

Have you ever felt that itch in your soul that you are unable to explain, which tells you that your life is not enough, and something has to change but you are not sure what or how? That feeling that causes great unease and discomfort in you and takes up residence in your body like an ache that has immersed your cells. It could be that life defining moment when the tide is turning but you do not know how to approach the wave or it could be that you have spent too many days looking in the mirror and not recognizing the woman staring back or perhaps it is waking every morning feeling you are not living your best life. I lived years of my life looking like I had it all but feeling stuck in my reality. It was not a bad life but I felt it was not my life and this feeling was making it clear that I was not living as an authentic being. I knew I wanted to be in a world where my words, thoughts, values, dreams and actions were aligned; however, I was aware that fear, guilt and comfort had diverted me away from that path. It became easy to become overwhelmed by my issues and to feel trapped and silenced or like my voice was lost in the wilderness. Then, by reaching for the tools I had gathered in the decades before, I found inspiration in the stories of the women and children who came to me for guidance but in their desperate moments revealed true heart, spirit and strength and in turn they guided me to the light. I was able to remind myself of my instincts and to look to this amazing tribe of inspiring people that surrounded me. My strength wasn’t lost with age, it was there in the background looking for ways to roar and to do so my unclear path just needed clearing. I had to come up with the tools that would untie the bondage of trauma and pain to allow the light in so I could heal, to reconnect with my warrior spirit that would guide me back to my path of purpose and would reunite me with my Lioness Heart.

The Path

During this time of feeling lost, I felt that as a therapist I was letting my clients down because my way forward was not clear and was cluttered with unresolved emotions. I struggled to see the path ahead and I felt like a victim in my own life. Then it came to me and hit me in the gut like a punch from the heavens: you may not have a choice about everything but you always have a choice about something and when you find that choice you find your power. I always used this with my clients and I realised it was time to listen to my own advice. There may be days when you think you do not have a choice and it just all seems too much; there may be times when you doubt your strength or your ability to direct the sails of your life but you can take a breath, take stock, gather your resources and put them into practice. I had traveled many journeys and walked through the lives of many special people and experienced many magical moments, but I had lost my lioness heart for some time because I was not being true to my values. I denied myself my warrior strength, my power and my authentic soul. I had to find my way back and this book describes that journey using the stories of the many people who inspired my path and how I turned on that light switch to redirect my course to one of authenticity, strength and heart as I continue in the battle to build my legacy by making a difference in the world.

A Vision

The title of the book A Lioness Heart came to me many years ago when I was on my first game watch over the Serengeti. This glorious day as the sun was descending, out of the haze in the distance a regal lioness appeared. She glided across the savannah plains with her tribe trailing behind her. In this moment time stood still for me and the vision of this lioness remains etched in my mind and my heart, as it energized my spirit and brought clarity to my soul. I felt truly unified with the lioness in that moment. I could hear her footsteps as they beat in sync with the rhythm of her huge heart. I could see her chest expand with pride because she knew she was on a path to purpose. She was walking without fear as she headed into the unknown and to her it didn’t matter what was in front of her because she knew what was behind her. She had kept her pride intact and had led them beyond survival. As she walked each step she stayed grounded in the moment, maintaining a gaze on the horizon where she trusted her instincts that there was something new, something fresh, and something better and she did so with confidence. She was a mother, a warrior and a leader and she had the strength of her lioness heart.

Taking Steps

A Lioness Heart is a compilation of powerful true-life stories from my work as a therapist and anthropologist as well as experiences I have had with women of heart. It shares with the reader a guide to holistic living with a map of what has worked to move myself and other women out of the ties that bind them, to live as a more free, enlightened and authentic being. By turning difficult life events to a path of purpose and courage we can all find a way to discover our real tribe of people, take risks, and dance through the storm. Let this be an inspiration to any woman or girl who thinks it is almost over. Like the Phoenix, we can all rise from the ashes to start again; what gets us there is the question.

The book covers the stories of women who have suffered abuse, trauma, feelings of isolation, being unheard, or even just feelings of negativity about their bodies and then found the courage to nourish their body and soul on a path to purpose. I wrote this book in the hope that the mountains they climbed might inspire the reader to climb theirs. The stories in the book tell the tale that it is possible to overcome difficult situations and it shares ways you can channel your experiences to direct you to your path to purpose and at the same time to your Lioness Heart.

Let curiosity, empathy, and determination guide your path to purpose.

CHAPTER 1

THE TIDE IS TURNING

When the tide is turning you have the choice to allow the current to take you or to choose to use your power to direct the sails of your course.

Turn of the Tide and Choice

There comes a moment in life when things have to change. The tide is turning in one’s body so aggressively that the unsteadiness can be felt in your feet, your shoulders, your core. The itching in your soul is so intense that it is ready to propel you, hopefully forward and not backward, but can you make that choice? Is that choice in your power to make? Was it all about those words, circumstance, situation, stage, age, time? These are words that can ground one’s feet and at the same time bind one’s soul. I felt the change coming, and what was I to do with it? Would the change swallow me, or would I conquer it and emerge victorious? All these questions—the unknown—held the answers. Curiosity, empathy, and determination is my path. This feeling came to me in my twenties, and my thirties and then in my forties, but it can come to you at any time, so be ready for it. Let this be an inspiration to any woman or girl who thinks it’s almost over. Like the Phoenix we can all rise from the ashes to start again. What gets you there is the question.

The Magic and Dreams

Change comes and it is important to recognize it, name it, and embrace it. The desire to be more comes, and this is followed by the desire to do more. Embrace this feeling. It’s your power beneath your wings. Understand the change; see it as magical and deserving of curiosity and exploration. The change can propel you to live more successfully, more authentically, more independently. You can take this time to be the person you always dreamt of being. You have a choice. You may not have a choice about everything, but you always have a choice about something. And remember this dream, you can keep dreaming. Thirty or forty or fifty or sixty—age should not be an indicator of how you live your dreams. Dreams can keep your spirit energized, and it’s time for you to start: start living those dreams. Take hold of them today and become the person you’ve always dreamt of being.

Power in Change

As the wind sheds energy across a body of water, waves are born out of the gravitational pull of the sun and moon and with this comes the turn of the tide. This is the best way to describe the emotions that bring about the birth of the fourth decade of life. Others are already seeing and experiencing this change in you through your emotions and responses. So make it a change that can have a positive impact on your significant others, and one that you can channel in the right direction to keep that dream alive, to keep living your best life. If you fail to recognize and reject this change, this change will restrict, compound, and scare you to the point of debilitation. Regret will take the place of you becoming the best you. It is a struggle. It is a fight. It’s easier to lay back and let it wash over you and to allow this feeling to unconsciously control your every move. But if you choose to take hold of it and direct its course, you can feel that power; that power is yours. Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.

Direct the Course

I was worried about rocking the boat and doing anything that threatened that comfortable existence. In this comfortable existence you can survive for a long time, but you’re not traveling. That boat is not moving. The journey is not going along, and if it is moving, you’re not directing its path.

The tide is turning. The boat is rocking. So embrace change and find your new flow as the alternative is to choose not to choose your path and this choice suggests you are not choosing your direction, because the change is coming. You just need to find the best response to it. The paradoxical thoughts that can swirl around your head are: life is good; I love my life and my family. It seems like I have it all. But then there’s a feeling that creeps up behind you and taps you on the shoulder and says that something is missing or it can be as simple as: I feel incomplete but I’m ashamed to say it because I should be happy that I have it all, that I have everything that ticks the boxes. Another paradox is: I’m okay, but inside there is a swell of emotions that is telling you that you cannot go on like this, because if you do you are at risk of exploding. How do we harness these emotions and give them a positive direction?

Find the Path of Your Dreams

Observe your emotions. This takes curiosity, reflection, meditation, and acceptance of where you are in life. Recognize the challenges and see the good and the positive. Think of what you can do. Avoid focusing on what you can’t do. Think of all the dreams you gave up over the years and the new dreams you can build out of those losses. The greatest success in life is to find the path of your dreams. Do something for yourself. Take care of yourself. Have that silent time. Learn to dance to your favorite song in front of the mirror. Take long walks. Walk with your thoughts; walks will help you to process your emotions. Swirl them around your head. Be comfortable with them. Walk with your dreams as well. Feed your soul. Then think of how you can serve others to build your legacy.

My Tide Turned

There were times in my life that the tide turned, and the one that sticks out the most is my move from London to Kenya. I had supported myself and lived what could be perceived as a good life in London for years as a model, a therapist, and a corporate anthropologist, influencing social change in the commercial world and working with challenging communities as a therapist. I rode horses most days in the urban setting of Ladbroke Grove, and I ran projects in my spare time for children with autism, marginalized children from the communities around London, and teenagers who had been excluded from school. I also delivered community dance programs with the local youth center. In addition to this, I managed a caseload of teenage mothers from the Hammersmith and Fulham area. I had the perfect setup with my trendy pad in the center of Notting Hill and a small group of close friends.

To anyone looking in or looking on, I had it all—my autonomy, financial independence, and a good social network, and I was living with purpose. I was happy and I was making a difference, but this for me was just not enough. When I think of how to express my feelings at that time the image that comes to me is that of a gas hob and its ring of fire but one of the points that completes the ring remains unlit. One Sunday at the stables I was grooming a horse and this little boy came over to the stable door. I invited him in to help, but he didn’t respond. I went over to him and encouraged him to join me. He then spent the day with me, and the