Dear Bitch: An Open and Epic Letter to My Ex-Stepmother

By Allegra di Mare

Open the pages of this memoire, at times retold with humor, to be transported to the life's view of a father's daughter. A little girl who grew up in the shadows of many women who passed through her life. And the one woman who stomped the happiness from her family. The moments lived and endured over a lifetime before taking a giant step to crush th

• Language: English
• Publisher: Allegra di Mare, LLC
• Release date: Dec 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9780578818801

Allegra di Mare

Join Allegra on her journey to overcome the Bitch that life handed her. Go on...read the letter. I dare you.

Book preview

Dear Bitch

Dear Bitch

Dear Bitch

An Open and Epic Letter to My Ex-Stepmother

Allegra di Mare

Allegra di Mare, LLC

Many Thanks

I wish to thank two friends, AIM and RDV, who listened and encouraged me unconditionally while I worked on this project. Your support is so greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Copyright © 2020 by Allegra di Mare

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

First Printing, 2020

Warning

Before you delve into this letter, please accept this warning. The words contained within these pages are emotional, raw and frequently profane. Should you be someone who has difficulty feeling another’s anger, pain and sorrow as well as reading profanity, please choose not to read this memoire.

Caveat Lector: Let the reader beware.

If you read this letter and you believe it to be directed to you then congratulations. You have taken the first step in redirecting your life. Please don’t think you are unique. Any resemblance of characters to you or someone you know is completely coincidental. It is not you. There will be many, thousands who read this letter and take umbrage, believing themselves to be the object of writing. Time to lose your vanity and narcissism and realize the whole world does not revolve around you. This letter was written to represent many individuals. And, quite frankly, wow. If you believe this letter was written to you then all I can say is wow. You must be a horrible person. But, there is hope for you. Simply by recognizing that you have wronged so many. Avoid reprisal if you will and offer whatever form of retribution you can to those you have wronged. And if you are the recipient of this letter, I suggest that you keep your mouth shut so no one knows who you are.

The contents of this letter are written from the author’s perspective and perception of life events. This is not a fact-based letter rather; it is all based on the author’s experiences which shaped her opinions. Any resemblance to any person and situation in anyone’s life is happenstance.

Forward

To those of you taking the time to read my memoire; this open and epic letter, I thank you. I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to purge negative energy and effect from my life. I thank you for understanding that I have been heated about this situation for a long time. I do appreciate that the younger generation functions differently, possibly more openly, in their relationships. Imagine yourself in an earlier time where living and lifestyles were made of different expectations, anticipations, hopes and beliefs. Please do understand that the individual to whom this letter is written, maintains her lifestyle and opinions, actions and deeds in the same manner she started. Sadly, she could be any person in any part of the world. She and this situation are not unique. She has been duplicated many times over and her Doppelgangers have spread throughout the world. Further, she is not the original, merely one of the carbon copies.

Before you delve into this letter, please accept this warning. The words contained within these pages are emotional, raw and frequently profane. Should you be someone who has difficulty feeling another’s anger, pain and sorrow as well as reading profanity, please choose not to read this memoire.

This letter has been a long time coming. It is allowing me the opportunity to say things I was never able to say, and to say it without being confrontational. I have never been a particularly confrontative person and prefer to keep it that way. Typically, by the time I am ready to speak up, I am most likely immensely frustrated and angry. And then words don’t come out well. Of course, they then exit my mouth sounding very angry and frustrated. I do not like finding myself in that situation. And it is important that I have control over myself and my words. This letter is more about healing myself than putting someone in her place. Slowly, over time, I have schooled myself to open up and speak in particular and appropriate situations. Some of that learning has come naturally with life’s lessons. Much of it was a very conscious decision to not be so shy. To make myself stronger. To be able to tackle difficult situations in a constructive and positive manner. Preferably without hurting another person. Regardless of how much they have hurt others. That is their cross to bear.

While you read this letter, you may find yourself thinking it is not written in a positive manner. Yet, it is. It does not specify names, times or places. I’ve deliberately left out identifying information and kept the drama. Because the drama is what caused harm. In this case, I am releasing many years, almost a lifetime of anger and hurt that was mostly repressed. And it is beyond time for which it should have been released. Freed from my body and soul. I have personally found that letter writing is very healing for me. I can write everything I am thinking and have thought, wishes about what could have and should have happened. I can write letters directly to the violator. But I don’t have to send them. It is the process itself that lends itself to recovery. Has anyone ever suggested to you that you let go of anger that you’ve held onto over any particular situation? Your anger will only hurt you, not the person at which you are angry, they say. That is true in many cases. Anger can eat you up and make you irrational. Think of all the shooters who have lashed out with guns instead of with words. How different the world might be if they never reached for the gun. If they used their words instead. I’m not certain that is a realistic approach however, as it requires others being open to not only listening, but sometimes self-reflecting and adjusting one’s own words and actions.

I’ve written a number of letters to those who have hurt me over the years. But I have never sent one. The anger and the hurt dissipate with little trace. Please notice that I’ve said little, not no, trace. It is part of forgiving people. Forgive and forget, they say. Forgive and remember, I say.

Forgiving will help you heal. Forgetting will open you up and expose you to repeating the same situation. So, forgive. Let go the anger and hurt and use the memory instead as a tool. Arm yourself with your memory. Allow it to set off little alerts so you don’t repeatedly find yourself making the same mistakes. Wait, you thought this was about other people causing the hurt? It is. But once we become young adults, we have the capacity to determine if we should remain in certain situations and relationships. The problem is, we don’t always have the mental capacity and strength to step away when we should. When it is what we want to do. When it is what we need to do.

Most of us have been raised to be courteous and respectful. To treat others with kindness and to be caring. To respect authority…yet stare adversity in the face. Go face to face with the bullies of the world. But do it with common courtesy and mutual respect. Model the kindness you want the bully to impersonate. A simple enough lesson. And, for the bully, it will need to be replicated time and again before the lesson is solidified. Unfortunately, this is not likely…just wishful thinking. It all starts with showing yourself courtesy and respect. Knowing how you would like to be treated. It doesn’t mean that it will correct the actions of others. But you will know that you behaved to the best of your ability. And when you did that, you became the role model for another person. A role model for the bully or the bad guy.

Know that it is cathartic for me to write about which I experience severe emotional distress. It allows me to release emotions that cling to me internally, discharging negative energy from my aura, thus allowing me to heal. It also allows for a certain justice for my father. Which he deserves for the deplorable treatment foisted upon him while he was trapped in a body he could not control. And not only for him, but for so many other individuals who have experienced similar situations. Sadly, there are many individuals who are abused and cannot physically get up and walk away. Many of those individuals cannot talk or communicate in any fluid way which makes it easy for their abusers. They are trapped. These are some of the reasons for which I decided to publish this letter openly. It is important to me to offer warnings to people to be careful about who you allow into your inner circle. Never believe that this type of situation can never happen to you. There are always predatory individuals who are looking for prey. Looks don’t matter. If the Big Bad Wolf weren’t hungry, he may have looked attractive to Little Red Riding Hood. And then there are people like Ted Bundy who are physically attractive and verbally charming. To his dying day, he had the full support of his followers, who deny that he caused harm and took the lives of others. Because he charmed them. In order to protect yourself and your loved ones; pay attention when a trusted individual from your circle offers you feedback on a newcomer. Pay attention to the clues others quietly offer. And especially pay attention when no one from your inner circle offers feedback on a newcomer. The lack of response, lack of comment is the message you must receive. You must also know your trusted individuals. Are they truly trustworthy? Be sure to plan out your financial and end of life information with appropriate legal counsel (use legal aids if necessary.) Avoid your own exploitation. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself or for another who is being controlled; abused. I’m sure there are many reasons for abuse, but I can name a couple obvious reasons: power over another person and money. People should be more mindful of the weak and vulnerable who cannot care for themselves. There are those who are always vulnerable and they are the youngest and the oldest in all our communities. They are easily abused and need someone to be vigilant; ever watchful to ensure they are safe. Safe from society and safe from their caregiver. And sometimes, sadly, safe from their families. That is a very complex situation that I will avoid at this time only remarking that while some families can be abusive, others are caring and watchful.

To be clear, please understand that this letter is written from my perspective. And perception changes its perspective when viewed through another’s eyes. I will state however, that this perspective took approximately forty years to develop. Forty years of observation. Watching and listening. Feeling. It is my perspective that I write in this letter. And parts of this letter also include my opinion. The opinion and perspective set forth in this letter belong to me and to no other. Many of my words contained within this letter are quite strong and may be judgmental. They are not intended to offend. But they may; because I am offended. And this is my response to the offensive.

Addressing the individual to whom this letter is written is long overdue. I am relieved to be able to release these events from my life. And this letter does reflect a portion of my life.

Read and take heed.

Distini Saluti,

Allegra di Mare

Dear Bitch

An Open and Epic Letter