Solving the Love Puzzle: Break Free from Fear and Create Long-Lasting Intimacy

By Naomi Irene Bambara and Cheryle R. C. Hanna

Funny, witty, and honest, Solving the Love Puzzle shows us how to live our lives full of love and compassion without sacrificing our integrity and values. It teaches us how to recognize what true love is—a bond unlike any other that can weather any storm. While the author focuses on generation X and baby boomers, this book is for all who a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Release date: Aug 18, 2019
• ISBN: 9781640854970

Naomi Irene Bambara

I worked for the Ontario provincial public service before becoming a federal public servant in Ottawa, where I contributed to the employment equity, diversity and duty to accommodate agenda. I also worked ten years as a manager strategically leading planning activities and nation-wide consultations in the areas of employee engagement, career development, learning, mentoring, and coaching. I listened to my inner voice and followed a path of self-healing, self-loving and self-discovery that let me to become a Certified Life Coach. As I guided many of my clients on their own path to self-empowerment, I was inspired to write two books. The first one, Conversations de quietude in French, celebrates my journey toward grounding myself in faith. The second book, Here's to You: A Collection of Love, Appreciation and Gratitude Letters, is a tribute to Canada's Sesquicentennial. The book was published in 2017 and engaged seventy-five writers across three continents. I am a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM), and, through the years, I have gained extensive experience leading volunteer organizations, and developing strategies and guidance to train others in the areas of leadership and communication. I take every opportunity to mentor others and share knowledge that empowers them to be the best version of themselves. From a platform of public speaking, leadership and community service, I naturally moved into the art of writing. As an Author, I can impact far more people in the privacy of their home. I know of several programs to support married couples and/or divorced people. I know of many groups to help young people find a mate and prepare for marriage. But, for Gen-Xers and baby boomers (especially if they are divorced or separated), I did not find many programs to help us prepare for our next meaningful relationship. This is why I wrote Solving the Love Puzzle; to inspires singles so that they would have the courage to prepare to meet the right person, choose to love that person and heighten their chance of building a long-lasting relationship. Solving the Love Puzzle offers a recipe to embrace relationships in a new light. So far, readers have said that the book is funny, witty, and honest. It inspires Gen-Xers and baby boomers, along with other generations, to embrace love and compassion without sacrificing integrity and values. It teaches how to recognize what true love is-a bond unlike any other that can weather any storm.

Book preview

"Naomi Bambara wrote Solving the Love Puzzle to share with others that love comes softly when we look in the right direction."

Niccie Kliegl CLC, RN, https://nicciekliegl.com/

"Solving the Love Puzzle highlights fundamental strategies for healing and positioning yourself to confidently create a fulfilling experience with another human being. Naomi shares some of the key lessons that helped her break out of a self-destructive pattern and grow to an empowering state of consciousness."

Zinnia Life Coach & Consultant - 

www.lifecoachzinnia.com

"Solving the Love Puzzle was born out of a genuine intention to honor and trust true and genuine LOVE, no matter how hard life is, and despite all previous failed attempts. It is a call to leave fear behind and stand for love."

Annie-Josiane Sessou, Author, https://ajsante.org

"Naomi Bambara has written a must-read primer for anyone considering friendship and love. Read Solving the Love Puzzle - and learn from a wise and compassionate standpoint."

Christina Maluma, Social Media Coach -

[e-mail]

"You can embrace love from the view point of faith, hope and love. Naomi offers a fresh perspective on expectations in relationships with Solving the Love Puzzle."

Suzan Richards Lavertu, The Cultural Arts Studio -

www.culturalartsstudio.com

"In Solving the Love Puzzle Naomi shows us that it’s both possible and reasonable to nurture relationships based on friendship, values, interests and commitment."

Karine Bassette – Digital Entrepreneur and Speaker,

www.karinebassette.com

"Solving the Love Puzzle is a timely solution for all those who aspire to be cherished in a fulfilling way. Naomi’s perspective on love gives you food for thought and confidence to embark on the relationship that you desire."

Yvette Hélène Yende-Ashiri, Women’s Rights Social Activist, Community and Engagement Leader -

https://www.facebook.com/yyashiri

"Naomi is walking the talk! Solving the Love Puzzle will equip you to create

and nurture the long-lasting connection you want by standing for LOVE. You will be able to cultivate relationships with wisdom and courage, leveraging your own strengths and values. This is worth a read! Bravo Naomi for this incredible testimony."

Lucie Caron, Entrepreneur and Business Woman -

http://www.worldwidebranding.com/Members/QC/Lucie-Caron-1649743.html

"Solving the Love Puzzle will encourage you to bravely step out of a negative cycle and consciously engage in a renewed vision for a long-lasting bond. You will be empowered to embark on a successful adventure by moving in the direction of true fondness."

Paula Alphonse, Author – www.PaulaAlphonse.com

Naomi Bambara offers a refreshing perspective on love and personal relationships and invites us to be authentic in embracing vulnerability as a strength. Solving the Love Puzzle is a reminder that we should allow the natural strength of our heart to emerge through love and that we are all in this together.

Maria Chababi, Personal and Professional Development Consultant,

Revita Development Institute, www.myrevita.ca

You can embrace love from the view point of faith, hope and love. Naomi, in Solving the Love Puzzle, offers a fresh perspective on expectations.

Valerie Masumbuko, Chairperson Forum

International des Femmes Cheffes, Author

https://www.facebook.com/femmescheffes/

Solving the Love Puzzle is a heart-felt, honest, full of wisdom series of stories and conversations. It is tremendously useful for those facing the decision to love again and those wanting to reconnect with their partner at a more intimate level.

Ida Bambara, Style Consultant -

https://www.facebook.com/victoria.bambi77/

Solving the Love Puzzle

Break Free from Fear and Create Long-Lasting Intimacy

Naomi Irene Bambara

Foreword by Reverend Cheryle R.C. Hanna,

Doctor of Ministry

Solving the Love Puzzle

Copyright © 2019 Naomi Irene Bambara (www.naomibambara.com)

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying without written permission of the publisher or author. The exception would be in the case of brief quotations embodied in the critical articles or reviews and pages where permission is specifically granted by the publisher or author.

Published by Authors Academy Elite®

Disclaimer

Although you may find the teachings, life lessons, and examples in this book to be useful, the book is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher are engaged in presenting any legal, relationship, financial, emotional, or health advice. It is intended to provide you with my account and experience with overcoming life matters. All results will differ; however, my goal is to share my take on how to prepare for the relationship you have been looking for. Any person who is experiencing legal, relationship, financial, emotional or health issues must consult with a licensed professional, advisor, therapist or psychologist.

Book cover by iDea Signs

Library of Congress Control Number (LCCN): 2018963615

ISBN: 978-1-64085-495-6

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all those who have the courage to stand for love.

The Greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty: it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There’s a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God.

—Mother Teresa

Table of Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgment

The Hunger for Love

Chapter 1 — The Never-Ending Story

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Love Actually

The Ugly Truth

Their Eyes Were Watching God

He’s Just Not That Into You

Chapter 2 — Think Like a Man

Stuck in Love

Life As We Know It

When Harry Met Sally

Chapter 3 — God Send Me a Man

500 Days of Summer

The Hunger for Love

5 Flights Up

Chapter 4 — Why Did I Get Married?

Runaway Bride

There Will Be Blood

Catch Me If You Can

Chapter 5 — A Lot Like Love

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

Punch Drunk Love

Brown Sugar

Lost in Translation

The Shack

A Good Year

Chapter 6 — The Best of Me

Our Souls at Night

It’s Complicated

Love Comes Softly

Loving Leah

Chapter 7 — How Stella Got Her Groove Back

Random Acts of Kindness

One Fine Day

Silver Lining Playbook

The Pursuit Of Happyness

Hope Springs

About the Author

Foreword

On September 12, 2018, my beloved Michael and I celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary. During our years together, I have actively considered pushing Michael out onto the highway from my moving vehicle only twice. Those were dark times. I do not remember the specifics, but I know myself well enough to know I thought I was near my limit. I was very likely tired, frustrated, and angry enough to cuss. I had allowed myself to give thoughts on life without Michael, to create a space in my head that did not include the incredible years of laughter, joy, and peace of our times together. I did not act on these thoughts because I do love Michael deeply. I also value his opinion and respect his judgment. Furthermore, I do not look the best in orange. My marriage, every marriage, is a decision two people make to endure the worst and enjoy the best of life together. This is the marriage I am in with Michael—a marriage which has taken, and continues to take, every fiber of my being to live in, to grow and to prosper. I would love to say Michael and I have been lucky, except I don’t think luck had much to do with it. Thirty-seven years represent a huge amount of love, friendship, patience, understanding, forgiveness, trust, and faith.

Naomi Irene Bambara has undertaken the herculean task of unlocking the practical plans for a successful marriage. Through careful research and interviews with both single and married persons, she has provided working keys any single and married person can use to strengthen themselves to be the best marriage partner possible. The research on marriage, pain, forgiveness, and recovery would have been more than enough to make a significant difference in the lives of many single and married persons, but Naomi goes two steps further. First, she weaves throughout the narrative her story of a single woman looking to fall in love to a mature person ready to stand for love. As we hear Naomi’s story, we hear again our places of pain and betrayal, we come face to face with our mistakes and failures, and we want to do better and be better. We receive again the forgiveness on which our marriages were built and celebrate our joys and successes. The old married person that I am was convicted to mend my ways. Second, Naomi shares the stories of the persons she interviewed. The depth of humanity expressed in every story is wonderfully familiar. We want the best to happen, and when it does not, our hearts grieve.

It could be tempting to read the research, stories, and testimonies as something happening to someone else or to dismiss the pain shared as a good story and nothing more. I hope and pray you will follow my example; read every word as if they were written for you, weigh in on each category of research as a participant, and live in every story and testimony. Use this text as a graduate-level seminar of great price and determine to get your tuition’s worth. Change your singleness, your marriage, and life for the better.

Reverend Cheryle R.C. Hanna, Doctor of Ministry

Minister of Congregation, Fourth Avenue Baptist Church, Ottawa

Author of Lessons for the Heart: 52 Ways to Share