Before SEVEN-THIRTY: Practical Ways to Empower Yourself and Save YOUR Relationship Before Giving Up

By Fina Oria and Ed.M. MA. Franklin Jamela

Relationships are evolving! You must prepare yourself while you’re dating or you could end up with a huge engagement ring, a beautiful wedding, but a disastrous marriage. Too many people prepare for the wedding, but not enough of them plan for the marriage!

It’s not breaking news that divorce is adversely a

• Language: English
• Publisher: DLB 730 Press
• Release date: Mar 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781970075069

Fina Oria

FINA ORIA [née Finerve Louis] is from Haiti by way of West Orange, New Jersey. She is Fina in reverence of her beloved paternal grandmother, Afine! Fina has a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science and a minor in Business Law & Public Policies from UMUC. She is a Licensed Commercial Real Estate professional, a Certified Aromatherapist, and an adventurer who loves to learn new things and meet new people. As a natural intuitive and a problem-solver, Fina has been the go-to person for many men and women who needed a boost of self-confidence and ways to empower themselves. She is living up to the name Fina, which means messenger. Since her divorce, Fina has been happily sharing her experiences, relationship insights, and wisdom with others. She writes to help both men and women from repeating the same mistakes and enabling an unhealthy relationship with someone who is unworthy of their time. She loves to read, listen to music, dance, travel, and learn about other cultures. Fina Oria is the proud mother of three young kings. For more information on her work: Visit Fina Oria's website: www.before730.com Follow her on Twitter: @Before730 Instagram: @DecodeLifeBefore730 Facebook: /before730 Subscribe on YouTube: Decode Life Before 730 For speaking engagements: [e-mail]

Book preview

Before SEVEN-THIRTY: 

Practical Ways to Empower Yourself and Save YOUR Relationship Before Giving Up

Fina Oria

Foreword by Award–Winning Author,

Professor Jamela Franklin, Ed.M., M.A.

DLB 730 Press

———————

Norcross, Georgia

(©) 2018 Fina Oria

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the publisher. For more information regarding permission to reprint materials from this book or getting discounts on bulk orders, email your request to [e-mail].

This is a work of non-fiction, but some names have been changed for privacy purposes. 

This book is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a psychotherapist, psychologist, or licensed physician. It is sold with the understanding that the author is not engaged to render any type of psychological, legal, or any other kind of professional advice. The content in this book is the sole expression and opinion of its author.

Oria, Fina

Before SEVEN-THIRTY: Practical Ways to Empower Yourself and Save YOUR Relationship Before Giving Up

ISBN: 978-1-970075-06-9

Published by DLB 730 Press

P.O. Box 930261 

Norcross, GA 30003

https://before730.com

Jacket designer: Demetri Noel-Jeune, DNJ Design

Couple’s image on cover by Josethestoryteller on pixabay.com

Editor: Lisa Dawn Martinez, The Finicky Editor

Author photograph: Gabriel Desgranges

Printed in the United States of America

All quotes or references are printed with permission from authorized parties or where Fair Use apply.

Logo_Black-01(5)

CONTENTS

Foreword 

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Inside Nelumbo Nucifera

PART I

Chapter 1     I Saw the Light 

Chapter 2     Clean Slate: The Ideal Echelon of Self-Discovery

Chapter 3     Current Trend of Marriage: Quicksand

Chapter 4     Signs from First Year Before SEVEN-THIRTY

Chapter 5     Open Exchange: Hello! 

Chapter 6     Behavior Speaks Volumes

Chapter 7     Life Regressions

Chapter 8     Who Needs Money?

Chapter 9     Criminal Minds—Sticking up Your Future!

Chapter 10   No Caviar

PART II

Chapter 11   Before the Big Hoopla

Chapter 12   Pastoral Counseling

Chapter 13   I AM Not

Chapter 14   Line in the Sand

Chapter 15   Be Realistic

Chapter 16   Be Flexible and Willing to Learn

Chapter 17   Seek Counseling to Resolve Past Issues—Critical!

Chapter 18   For All the Goddesses of Our Time

Chapter 19   For the Eros of Our Time

Chapter 20   Expansion of the Mind

PART III

Chapter 21   After I Do

Chapter 22   So, You’re Still Talking?

Chapter 23   Be at Peace

Chapter 24   Grow Stronger Together

Chapter 25   Let Each Other Be

Chapter 26   Trust: Not a Light Rider

Chapter 27   Create Your Own Footsteps

Works Cited

This book is dedicated to my three young kings:

Khyri Holder, Xaa’lin and Xa’Kaden Heru El-Bey.

FOREWORD

Before SEVEN-THIRTY: Practical Ways to Empower Yourself and Save YOUR Relationship Before Giving Up is exceptional! Fina Oria has artfully chronicled the trials and tribulations that individuals experience before, during, and after relationships, yet most dismiss. As a young woman who saw the warning signs in some of her own relationships but failed to acknowledge them, Ms. Oria decided to write a book that would assist others in recognizing and avoiding the pitfalls that she had experienced. 

After reflecting upon her life, she realized that if she had acknowledged and followed the admonition of the warning signs, she would not have experienced most of the painful lessons that ensued. However, as a result of those experiences, she became more observant of her life and the lives of others. The wisdom she gained from those experiences prompted Ms. Oria to write this wonderful book. 

Each chapter is written with sage wisdom, insight, and humor. Fina captivates the reader with her witty anecdotes and timeless advice. Reading this beautifully written book made me laugh, ponder, agree, and reflect. As I turned each page, I was eagerly anticipating the next tidbit of advice and the next delightful scenario. She expertly counsels the reader without judgment, which is an art. A few of the book’s chapter titles Open Exchange: Hello, Before the Big Hoopla, Seek Counseling to Resolve Past Issues-Critical, and Be @ Peace give you a glimpse into the content that awaits the reader. 

Lastly, Before SEVEN- THIRTY: Practical Ways to Empower Yourself and Save YOUR Relationship Before Giving Up is a must read for anyone, before entering a relationship with someone else, who desires to be emotionally, spiritually, and mentally balanced, healthy, and whole. 

Professor Jamela Franklin

Award-winning Author, College Professor, Holistic Life Coach

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 

WHAT A JOURNEY! There is no other way to describe the inception of this book—it was just meant to be. It certainly would be incomplete without giving dues to a few people. 

A mother’s undying love to my young kings, Khyri, Xaa’lin, and Xa’Kaden, who have taught me the true meaning of unconditional love! I wrote this book for you and with you in mind. I envision that the future will be one of splendor for all three of you. 

My soul-traveling partner, holistic practitioner | instructor, Xaa’el Heru El-Bey, I manifested our love story through this book before we met. Thoughts and words are powerful indeed. Thank you for reminding me of what I had forgotten about people and that knowledge alone is not enough. 

Much love and great appreciation to my parents, Clairzimene and Sauveur Louis, for all the sacrifices that you both have made for me and my four siblings (Ultride, Soneck, Fabienne, and Nathanael) to have a better life. 

My editor, Lisa Dawn Martinez, you were a God-sent angel in disguise. Thank you for teaching me what it takes to be a better writer and having the patience to work with a new author. 

I can’t say enough great things about my gifted graphic designer and consultant, Demetri Noel-Jeune of DNJ Designs, who brought my vision for the book cover to life. You are exceptional! 

A special thank you to Professor Jamela Franklin, Ed.M., MA, author of Reflections of the Soul: A Memoir and I’m Not Crazy—Just Menopausal, who wrote the book’s Foreword, gave me my first blog radio interview, and took me under her wing. 

Thank you to Christmas Miller, intuitive consultant and author of Illuminations: A Road Less Traveled: A Modern Day Seer's Journal of the Human Experience, who has shared valuable resources and insights to get me started on my new journey. 

A long bow to Mike Loomis, author of My Book Launch Planner: Simple Strategy and Tested Tactics for Your Book, Podcast, or Product for guiding me to a successful launch. 

I can’t forget to show love to Dr. Vashonna Etienne, Afrocentric Psychotherapist, who interviewed me on her YouTube platform. 

Much gratitude to my beta reader and line editor, Kit Duncan. Thank you to all my endorsers for taking the time to review my book, and everyone else who has helped with this unparalleled and incredible ride. To all the couples who permitted me to enter their private lives by sharing with me their time, experiences, and wisdom—thank you. Lastly, a warm embrace to all my readers who purchase my book. I am humbled by your support and interest in my work. I hope my words will serve you. 

INTRODUCTION

BLENDED FAMILIES ARE now the norm. We’ve heard of the many reports that state 45-50% of first marriages will end in divorce. This high probability is causing both men and women great angst whenever they hear the word, marriage. But what if there was a way to help keep your family and marriage intact before you even walked down the aisle?

It doesn’t have to come as a surprise when a marriage fails, although it frequently does. Many newlyweds, on some level, knew they might be making a mistake, even through their smiles, as they exchanged their vows.

So why didn’t they act on that?

The signs that the marriage may not last were there all along, but couples seldom pay attention to them.

Those warnings are straightforward, and the issues can be solvable if recognized early enough. Before SEVEN-THIRTY delves into these signals coming from various compartments of a person’s history: abusive issues, childhood trauma, criminal background, and financial matters. It gives couples permission to have open dialogue about previously forbidden subjects.

While the entire book is designed for both genders, it also has targeted chapters geared toward men and women specifically. The book then funnels into how the newlyweds should work on their marriage and what to do to keep the relationship strong.

This book is about more than merely observing signs during your courtship, before marriage. It’s also about empowering yourself with the necessary tools to survive the trials that inevitably come with being in a relationship.

With the divorce rate so high, the institution of marriage is in serious trouble. Couples often take up to a year to plan the wedding and almost no time to plan the marriage. It is time to acknowledge the paradigm shift when it comes to how you handle yourself in your relationships. Time to open your eyes to, and open the dialogue on, the many things that will take place during your marriage, so you can not only survive but also thrive. This is my goal. I want to ring that alarm, be that wakeup call. Before SEVEN-THIRTY. Before you go crazy. Before it’s too late.

It’s heartrending to see how many families are drowning in the misery that comes with dealing with a bad breakup. So, this is my gift to you to help reduce the unnecessary stress that we put on ourselves when we try to walk before learning how to crawl. This is what some of us do before marriage, but Before SEVEN-THIRTY can help you slow down to do an impartial tour of your life and your relationship before you say I do. 

INSIDE NELUMBO NUCIFERA

BIRD SONGS ECHOING in the breeze,

Vibrant colors of eternity emerge;

The wind caresses, and yes,

Dances in light rhythm.

Telepathy is the showcase of its expression;

Unity is the revelation of its recalls.

Who wants in?

Is it you?

The battered souls of Erde?

Author: Fina Oria 

PART I

Chapter 1

I SAW THE LIGHT

WHAT’S GOING ON in many households across the world these days is quite troubling. We live in a period of instant gratification, where we expect results, like, yesterday. We forget to connect to our world, and, to top it off, we hurt each other more than any other intelligent being on this planet. We fall out of love, it seems, as quickly as we fell in love. We marry today while a divorce is lurking right outside the bedroom door the day after the honeymoon, waiting to be let in.

But do you have to welcome it?

I am a mother who believes both parents have a duty to raise their children. I think we need to go back to the drawing board as far as our relationships are concerned. We often hear about people divorcing, even when we would rather escape the pain and hear otherwise; but perhaps hearing about it gives us the opportunity to re-examine our own relationships.

I am the second of five children who grew up in a household with both parents. My parents have been together for more than 40 years, and by the look of things, only death will end their union now. My mom has been the loyal I’ll-follow-you type of wife, and my dad is too tired to allow himself to go astray. Despite my parents’ long union, something very important was still missing from my childhood: a formula for a happy and satisfying relationship.

Could there be a formula for something so complex?

Even as a child, deep down I believed that there was more to the unexcited life that I lived. I was always different from my siblings—very outspoken, direct, analytical, and somewhat of an overachiever. It didn’t matter much what our environment was like because I was determined not to be just an extension of my parents. If their relationship consisted of anything unhealthy, I told myself that I would do the opposite. And that’s what I did. My parents made their own mistakes and lived their lives. Now, I had to live mine. I couldn’t continue to blame them for what they did or didn’t do. Remember, our parents cannot teach us what they do not know.

So, as a young adult, I put myself through college with the help of my husband at the time. I took care of myself and took control of my life. However, life has a way of testing us when we think we’ve overcome all obstacles. After my husband returned from a six-month military training, I knew that something wasn’t right with my marriage, but I couldn’t figure out what. Despite all the disappointments from my teenage years, I was unprepared when my marriage ended after just five years.

I was a twenty-six-year-old mother with a toddler, living in a state far away from my family. I went through a deep depression for nearly a year. I was numb and confused. It took me six years to understand what was wrong. The formula for disaster was already there, even before my ex and I had exchanged our vows.

Since my divorce, I’ve been in a few relationships. Their lesson: Stop attracting and rescuing self-destructive men—such individuals may end up destroying my happiness and sense of peace through their unfavorable actions.

After my divorce, I went through the daily seesaw of being a divorcée. Those moments taught me that I could have more control over my life if I would just slow down and open my eyes to the signs the Universe was giving me.

Those signs can be like the falling snow, beautiful yet potentially deadly.

This is where Before SEVEN-THIRTY comes knocking. In numeric form, the term 730 is an expression that simply means crazy or mentally unstable. It’s used as a police code to mean such. In the legal system, a defendant might file a 730 motion to get examined to certify if they’re mentally fit to stand trial. I also read years ago that inmates or mental patients had to take their medicine at that time each morning. Either way, the title came to me when I was about a quarter of the way through writing the book. I thought it was fitting because I want to reach those people who want to work on their relationships. The ones who don’t want to go mad because of mostly avoidable and unnecessary relationship drama. No, you don’t want to be 730.

Don’t lose your gifted mind or trivialize how great your married life could be if you would open your fourth eye—your view into your higher consciousness. This is your warning: you must be a godmother to your own life and become your own lighthouse by not ignoring the early courtship signs that could later destroy your marriage and your happy home.

If I’ve done it right (and I hope I have!), my book should accomplish at least three things: 

1. Guide you to first observe, and then work with, the signs that the Universe shares with you early on in your relationship. 

2. Help rock the boat, setting you in motion if you’re in a new or existing relationship and you’re confused about what you are currently experiencing. 

3. Help you realize that you are the creator of your own happiness and that you don’t have to keep suffering in the name of love.

Before SEVEN-THIRTY is mainly for those, young or old, who are dating. Nevertheless, the keynotes in here will touch anyone, whether newly involved, married, in a domestic partnership, or looking to be prepared when love comes knocking. These topics are universal and thus will be relatable to all. For those of you who want to get married one day, this book can propel you to eliminate some of the hardships that could later lead to divorce.

Divorce is a tough and sad decision. Breakups are painful enough, but to some people, divorcées seem to hold a comment bubble over their heads shouting, I destroyed my family unit! I’m a failure! But you need not to feel that way. If you understand the universal laws, then you’ll see that you just did not pay attention soon enough to know that the person you married came to your life for a reason.

Before SEVEN-THIRTY cannot guarantee to prevent divorce, but it can assist those who could have a wonderful