Overcoming The 15 Categories of Rejection: Master How to Turn NO to YES

By David M. Rose

Learn why people say NO to you, even when you obviously deserve a big YES. After reading this book, you can identify on the spot, all the categories of rejection and instantly know how to overcome them. As many readers have already discovered, the information provided in this book is unlike any other. It includes remarkable research, intelligenc

• Language: English
• Publisher: David
• Release date: Dec 9, 2017
• ISBN: 9781642043235

Book preview

About The Author

Part I – Foundation

About the Discovery

The Difference Between Rejections and Objections

Decision-Makers

Key Influencers

What It Means to Get YES

Qualifying Decision-Makers

The 9-Step Process for Decision-Makers

The 9-Step Process for Key Influencers

Essential Skills for Persuading People

Exercise Role Playing the Audience’s Shoes

Part II – Overcoming The 15 Categories of Rejection

Learning the 15 Categories of Rejection

#1 Mind Blocks

#2 Decision-Maker

#3 Likability

#4 Credibility

#5 Performance

#6 Interest

#7 Needs/Wants

#8 Time

#9 Call Back

#10 Shove

#11 Collateral

#12 Commitment

#13 Compensation

#14 Ban

#15 Close

Part III – Getting More YESES

Persuading, Influencing & Negotiating Skills

Argument Mapping

10 Pet Peeves of Persuasion

Body Language 1: The Essentials of Body Language

Body Language 2: Advanced Techniques

The 10 Golden Rules for Overcoming Rejection

When it’s Ok to Accept NO

Final Words

Thirty-Day Challenge for Overcoming The 15 Categories of Rejection

Foreword

You wish to escape, but the belt holding you down is just too tight. You are trapped in your seat, knowing the rollercoaster of rejection is about to send you plummeting in a precipitous downward plunge yet again, and you are helpless to do anything, but allow it to happen. What is even worse is you know after you have climbed back up to the heights, another sharp curve is waiting ahead, and another steep fall lurks just out of sight. Can someone make this ride end?

Can you relate to this rollercoaster ride of rejection in life at times? You’re not alone. Every living person has felt the sting of rejection at some point. Rejection is that shadow lurking around the next curve, waiting to dash your dreams and your self-worth, a crafty thief waiting to rob you of your potential for greatness. Nothing, not even wealth or power, can prevent you from being rejected. How often you face it depends on many factors of course. There is someone, though, who can overcome any rejection. That someone is YOU! In this book, you will learn how to identify rejections, how to face them, prevent them when possible and how to overcome NO to get more YESES.

NO is such a small word… just two-letters long, and yet it has the power to cause so much destruction to our plans, our dreams, our ambitions, our psyche, to our very existence. What we all desire is a way around those two little letters. We’ve already acknowledged that there isn’t a way to avoid rejection; that everyone regardless of their station in life will be forced to confront it, but… wouldn’t it be awesome if we could find a way to convert a good percentage of NO to something more positive like YES? It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to make the sale, secure an important agreement, get your spouse to agree to see a particular movie, or talk your dad into letting you borrow his car. Getting YES instead of NO for you is a desirable outcome. The problem then becomes one of understanding why the Decision-Maker, is saying NO. There must be a reason! If you learn how to spot reasons for rejection, then you’re ahead of the game. If you learn techniques that allow you to overcome the reason(s) for rejection, then your chance of hearing that magical YES increases exponentially.

This book benefits everyone, for the simple reason that rejection plagues everyone, and everyone desires more victories in their lives. Let’s ask bigger questions: What could you accomplish in business, in your personal life, in every aspect of your existence, if you could turn NO into YES? Wouldn’t you love to find out what potential is unlocked by removing NO from your target audience’s vocabulary? Welcome to the Art of turning NO into YES!

Four Questions Every Person Should Consider

What’s the Value of More YESES Worth in Your Personal Life…?

What’s the Value of More YESES Worth in Your Family’s Life…?

What’s the Value of More YESES Worth in Your Work Life…?

What’s the Value of More YESES Worth in Your Friend’s Life…?

About the Author

David M. Rose began working with his father Ervin, and mother Sarah, while in elementary school in a Texaco gas station in Dallas, Texas, and then working in other family businesses they operated. He started his first business in high school. Today, David works with business leaders in various industries around the world to help them substantially grow their revenue and profits, with innovative strategies and tactics.

He has developed proprietary methodologies for coaching leaders and their people to take their Performance to the next paradigm level. He is deeply passionate about designing and implementing what he calls custom Sales Engines that improve people and process for substantial profit growth as well as greater client experiences. He also mentors students of various ages in schools, universities and graduate programs to help them achieve their goals in life. David is an accomplished CEO, speaker, sales trainer, university adviser, board member, entrepreneur and especially a proud father of two. He is a quoted source to business media, a trusted advisor to start-ups, small-to-midsize businesses (SMBs) and Fortune 500 companies. The impact he makes professionally is with organizational behavior and culture at five levels: executive, financial, operational, marketing and sales level.

David developed the R+E+N(AISS+A+N+C)E=$MM Methodology (Renaissance Methodology), Modes-to-Market Analysis and the Theory of Accelerance, for transforming organizations into aligned-organic sales engines from the top to the frontline, through to the prospects and customers. He coined the phrase CPR saves lives, but C-R-P (Consistent-Repeatable-Processes) saves and grows businesses. Learn more at http://clevelglobal.com. He speaks and trains people on the paradigm-shifting discovery he made after years of research, which reveals, for the first time ever, all the categories of rejection that exist. He also shows ways to overcome them. David continues to globally research implementation methods to help people and businesses achieve greater results.

David is extremely active and divides his time between his family and helping international organizations implement C-R-P to grow business development success, enhance customer experiences, integrate acquisitions into sales effective systems and bolster shareholder value for exit strategies. His children were his ultimate inspiration to discovering the categories (typology) of rejection. After recognizing the negative impact rejection has on the trajectory of people’s lives throughout the world, he achieved his quest to document all the ways NO hurts people and reveal the tactics to overcome rejection.

He welcomes receiving people’s stories about their trials and tribulations facing rejection, in order to learn and share ways to help others be more persuasive, rather it’s in business or personal situations. Be a part of the movement taking this knowledge globally. Connect and share your stories with me at http://15COR.com.

Part I - Foundation

Introduction

If you are reading this book, then you are the one who desires more wins in life. That’s a noble goal that will enrich your life and lives of those around you, in countless ways. To receive maximum benefit from the information revealed in these pages, it’s important you understand several distinct yet related concepts. What we’ll create together is a foundation of knowledge from which you can build your set of skills to overcome all forms of rejection. Mastering these skills takes time. They may seem simple at first, but executing the right skills at the right time takes dedication and practice to master. Just as infants learn to scoot, then crawl, then walk and then finally run, we must make sure you’re armed with the ability to sprint before you charge off in search of YES. Figuratively speaking, when mastering persuasion is accomplished, it’s like going from learning to crawl, to winning gold medals in Olympic gymnastics competitions.

Some of the things you’ll be learning are about yourself, others are about people around you. You’ll learn how to be more observant of your surroundings, of other people and more introspective. You’ll be learning to identify your own behaviors; many of which you may not even realize you have or do. It’s all part of that rollercoaster ride of rejection I mentioned in the Foreword. I’m also not going to sugarcoat the journey ahead. There’s a large amount of information to absorb in this book, but it will be ok if you keep an open mind, and look for daily situations to practice this knowledge to hone your skills. Ideally, you will choose a partner or a group to discuss and practice the art of persuasion with. They will help with objectivity for advancing your skills and Performance.

In the first section of this book I created a solid foundation for you. First, you’ll learn about the extensive research performed to identify all the distinct types of rejection. Then, I will explain the key concepts, players and skills involved in the art of overcoming it. In the second section of the book, I’ll walk you through all categories of rejection. I’ll provide hundreds of examples and tips how to overcome it. In the third section of the book, we’ll examine advanced techniques, tactics, and top-ten lists to get more YESES in life. In the end, I prepared for you the thirty-day challenge to advance your skills in everyday life. Now that we have a mutual understanding of the significant learning ahead, let’s get started! Use this knowledge to guide your study, and practice at becoming a master of overcoming rejection.

Resilience for rejection isn’t about what pitfalls you experience in life. It’s about your emotional reaction and responses to those pitfalls that determine your strength to overcome rejection. That’s why some people go through the same rejections you experience, but they handle it with poise. Ultimately, it’s our expectations regarding our lives and certain outcomes that make the difference of either how poised or dramatic we behave and handle pitfalls.

About the Discovery

Getting YESES in life, for essential goals and objectives, is obviously important. It’s also important to be persuasive with family and friends in everyday situations, regardless how frivolous they may seem, as long as it’s important to you. You wouldn’t like to always end up going to ballet if you don’t enjoy it. You’d prefer to be able to persuade your significant other to mix in an action movie or a sushi dinner occasionally instead. The same principals apply to selling situations. Overcoming The 15 Categories of Rejection is an essential knowledge for everyone’s life. Every person should know and master the categories of rejection, just as well as they know their ABCs and 123s to get ahead in life, regardless of their circumstances. What we don’t know can hurt us immensely.

The notion that the categories of rejection had never been labeled and placed into a typology was fascinating. This inspired me to study and analyze different types of rejection. My intent was to help my family, friends, and all people fight despair, conquer fear, and cease ignorance about accepting NO. The result was nothing short of miraculous! I saw how the power of YES could be captured and used for great purposes in people’s everyday lives. After an initial two years of closed research on rejections I began slowly sharing this significant knowledge with others to broaden the research scope and to conduct several more years of in-depth studies on the impact of harnessing the newfound knowledge.

It took over ten years to understand the boundaries of each rejection category, so they can be placed in a typology. It was even more difficult to take literally thousands of ways people say NO from all around the world, for every type of situation imaginable and to determine the typology. This can also be called, the sources of YES. As people began seeing their lives changed substantially for the better, I studied deeper, looking for any means possible to identify a path to gain an advantage in persuasion. Rejection is faced from birth to death and is experienced routinely with business management, sales, marketing, friends, acquaintances, marriages, family, and strangers. The science of Yes was uncharted territory. Until this discovery, rejections were faceless killers of our dreams.

This research reveals life changing knowledge of how to become a remarkably persuasive individual, who can lead others for good. My company, C-Level Global, contributed much of the research by conducting surveys and independent studies with over 42,000 business leaders, managers, and employees in 22 countries. Plus, 15,500 surveys and questionnaires from 18 countries contributed to understand how it impacts people’s personal lives with spouses, family, friends, and strangers.

I shifted the paradigm of persuasion to a more controllable plane. There is a way to handle the previously uncontrollable specter of rejection. Take debate to another level, or prevent it altogether and get YES faster.

The Difference Between Rejections and Objections

I see REJECTIONS and OBJECTIONS exactly the same way, period. In essence, from my approach, there’s no difference between them! Some people may say rejections are stronger than objections. Forget this though! However, rejections and objections can be used as stepping-stones for YES.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary Definition of Objection:

1. An act of showing disapproval or great dislike

2. A reason for or a feeling of disapproval¹

For our purposes, objections are considered as obstacles that try to challenge or halt your efforts. They are often encountered along the way to achieve YES. For example, you’ve made a presentation of several forward-looking projections. Someone might object to one of the underlying assumptions, and then question the validity of one or all aspects of the projection. You will have the opportunity to refute their objection based on statistical evidence or whatever logic is in place. Alternatively, you could modify your projection to align with the concern raised but either way, it still could be something that will derail your efforts.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary Definition of Rejection:

The act of not accepting, believing, or considering something²

As we will use it, rejection has more finality to it, than objection. However, they both pose the same danger. For example, Your proposal has been rejected. This statement has finality. It is an endpoint until you overcome it. Now compare it to this example: I’ve got an objection to a couple of the underlying assumptions in the projections you put forth. This statement (reasons) could prevent YES unless you overcome the reasons. So, as we wade through, all Knows we’ll encounter together in this book, I’d like you to think of rejections and objections as hurdles or temporary impediments. They can be necessary to make your audience comfortable to say YES.

Decision-Makers

Decision-Makers are the people who hold the right or privilege to render a verdict regarding something you seek. They are the individuals, regardless of gender, race, inheritance, or background, who are the deciding voices on saying YES, NO, or searching for an alternative to what you seek. Their importance varies depending upon the amount and type of power they hold in deciding outcomes to things you seek. Simply put, they’re the people you wish to say YES to what you desire.

Cambridge Dictionary Definition of Decision-Maker:

A person who decides things³

Examples of Decision-Makers:

The big boss, manager, owner

Your customers, prospect, target audience

People you are attracted to

Your husband, wife, children, parents

Your teachers, coaches, professors

Police officers, judges, politicians

Friends, acquaintances, strangers, enemies

People we Need favor from

Religious figures in our community

Peer groups at work or school

People we look up to and down upon

Doctors and lawyers; creditors and bankers

They’re the boss behind the person at the hotel check in desk, who can give you a room even though the front desk person told, you don’t have a reservation here like you thought you booked weeks ago, and there is nothing we can do about it…

Key Influencers

To be an excellent persuader you ultimately must get the Decision-Maker, to say YES, while considering there may be some important people they rely on for support, or are responsible for, in some way. Therefore, having those individuals onboard can also be important. These are the key influencers.

Key Influencers are people who can impact or contribute positively, or negatively to the decision-making process, made by another person or by a group of people. Basically, they are the people who are able to affect decisions of a Decision-Maker.

Cambridge Dictionary Definition of Influencer:

Someone who affects or changes the way that people behave⁴

Examples of Key Influencers:

Direct reports, contractors, consultants, advisors to Decision-Makers

VPs, Senior VPs, and Executive VPs

School Peers

Spouses, children, grandchildren

Investors, shareholders, stakeholders

Customers who influence other customers

A crowd which influences an individual

People on TV, cable, radio, internet

Authors of books, articles, blogs

People you’re scared of or who are afraid of you

People referring you to be hired

Critics or fans

They’re people at the hotel check in desk who told you that you actually don’t have a reservation here like you thought you booked weeks ago, but they can go and ask the boss to get you a room and make the situation right.

What It Means to Get YES

What It Means to Get a Decision-Maker to Say YES

This could apply to any type of ultimate Decision-Maker, an audience’s approval, a situation where you’re just attempting to get a foot in the door, or when you’re getting by a gatekeeper at the front desk or over the phone.

Getting a Decision-Maker to say YES means: getting approval for what you are asking, whether it’s a source of immediate or delayed gratification. For example, the immediate sale (closing a deal) of something is the ultimate YES, but sometimes YES is also for a continuation of the persuasions or sales process. Longer sales cycles are sometimes necessary before the actual deal can Close just as longer due diligence cycles may be required by your friend, before they can give you a decision.

Stages of YES: Getting a Decision-Maker to say YES could just mean getting their attention to watch, listen, or consider what you seek, hence, if they say YES to hold a sales meeting. The progression to the ultimate YES sought from your Decision-Maker can take Time, therefore, requiring a careful progression through series of trials and tribulations. Each step along the way should meet an approval before the final verdict is rendered.

Persuasion often starts with getting YES for someone to give you his or her Time to learn about what you’re wanting or offering. This can mean working through series of roadblocks or gatekeepers, some of whom might have an agenda that isn’t totally aligned with the Decision-Maker’s or yours. It’s important to understand any subtle differences and to recognize how the process is expected to unfold.

There will be situations where just gaining access to your Decision-Maker represents YES. This is especially true when you must get him/her to open up, and share details of their world to learn how what you’re seeking will impact their personal or business life. This way you can be more convincing by building trust and value at the same time. We will address this more throughout the book. The two main points, to make sure you grasp, are that you may be required to work through a sequence of YESES to achieve the ultimate winning outcome, and that you should understand exactly what you’re seeking during every encounter. If getting YES for the second meeting and gathering valuable information that aids your ability to be more persuasive is the next logical step, then you should adjust your expectations regarding the meeting’s outcome accordingly. Don’t push for YES that’s unrealistic for the moment.

Let’s throw out a few examples of getting YES from Decision-Makers. You’ll quickly recognize that some might be accomplishing a step in the process, while others might be ultimate victories.

YES for:

Getting the keys to your mom’s car

Buying Girl Scout cookies from door-to-door sales

Running for Student Body President

Putting you on the phone with their boss (if they’re a gatekeeper)

Price on the car asked

Date you requested

Face-to-face meeting

Phone call with them (if they’re the Decision-Maker)

Webinar with you

Videoconference with you

Looking at your website

Reading your white paper or case studies

Reading your blogs, articles, or tweets

Receiving your newsletter

Walk through your sales process

Buying your products and services

Receiving a proposal from you

And the list goes on… What YES do you seek next!

Are There Differences in Getting a Key Influencer to Say YES?

Ultimately, your objective is to get key influencers to tell Decision-Makers to say YES, or to not having them speak against you in any way. It could mean getting the key influencer to give you the introduction with the Decision-Maker, to encourage them to give favor, or at least not to get on your way.

Note, key influencers can, and often become Decision-Makers, so be very cautious of them. You don’t Want to make enemies with these people if possible. Make as many allies as you can. You never know when they will become important in your life.

Let’s throw out a few examples of getting YES from key influencers. You will see both differences and striking similarities in these next examples of what it means to get YES from a key influencer versus a Decision-Maker.

YES for:

Asking for my daughter’s hand in marriage

Asking your parents for your friend to sleepover

Asking your friend to get you an interview at their company

Suggesting their sister to date you

Setting up a face-to-face meeting for you with the Decision-Maker

Setting up a phone call for you with the Decision-Maker

Suggesting the Decision-Maker attends your webinar

Setting up a video conference with the Decision-Maker

Checking your website with the Decision-Maker present

Sharing your Collateral with the Decision-Maker

Recommending your products and services to the Decision-Maker

Recommending you to someone over your competitors

Advising the Decision-Maker to buy on the spot

Receiving your proposal and sharing it with others

Continuing to do business with you

And the list goes on… Who are your key influencers?

As you can see from these examples, getting YES at the key influencer’s level is a big step to the ultimate YES from Decision-Makers. However, don’t rely just on the key influencers to get you to Decision-Makers. Learn how to be bold and go straight to the top. Pick up the phone and persistently call those who ultimately decide, or just go right to their door and ask for an opportunity to make your case. Social media can help get their attention and hand written personal letters can too. Don’t give up after a few attempts, but instead keep trying until you get their attention. Waiting for key influencer’s help can cost you. Decision-Makers very often respect people who go hard at what they seek. Victory goes to the bold!

Qualifying Decision-Makers

Is it mom, dad or both who can say YES to going out till midnight on Friday night? Is it the director of engineering or general manager at a 400 room Caribbean hotel who makes the decision to buy what you are offering or hire your skills? Maybe it’s a CFO or a controller of a small to mid-sized manufacturing company, who has an Interest for, or Needs/Wants your solutions. Perhaps, it’s office managers in any city around the world who are your target audience. It could be neighboring doctors or attorneys, who say YES to referrals your way. Being accepted by a friend circle requires YES. Sometimes it’s the flight attendant on the plane while we read this book, that we Want to say YES to a request for free spirits, when the credit card machine is down, and we don’t have cash. On a rare occasion, you Want that attractive person, you would like to date, to say YES to going out to dinner. Needing YES to a job, sought after, arises in people’s lives from time to time. Life is often a tug of war between YES and NO.

Qualifying your target audience as Decision-Makers or key influencers is the necessary exercise. If you’re not talking to the right folks, you’re likely to accomplish very little. You might even be hurting your cause by wasting Time, Compensation, resources, and opportunity cost. We’ll dive deeper into this during category #2, which is all about going to the right Decision-Maker.

The 9-Step Process for Decision-Makers

Great communicators are good at envisioning what it’s like to be in the shoes of their audience. Therefore, you should know the 9-step process Decision-Makers go through, before they decide. There is an exercise for this at the end of Part I.

Before diving into the 9-steps, let’s consider persuasion this way: whenever you’re placed in a situation where you must convince someone else regarding literally any subject, you have essentially become involved in a sales transaction. You are, in essence, attempting to sell them something. It could be: a business decision, a retail purchase, a teenager making the case for missing a day of school to go to a festival, perhaps it’s you in a religious debate, political or scientific theory. It doesn’t matter; you are selling!

In almost any important scenario, a Decision-Maker will go through the process leading up to some decision. If you, as a persuader, fail to understand the process and the ways your interaction with them should be shaped during each step, you are handicapping your own efforts. You’re making it more difficult for yourself to win. Below, I outline the 9-Step Process Decision-Makers typically go through.

Step 1: Awareness

Awareness for a Decision-Maker begins when a situation is brought to their attention, that may require actions taken or not. Thus, is born the awareness that the decision may be required on a particular issue. This is when the person with the power to decide recognizes actionable Interests, Needs, or Wants might exist, and begins to understand for what purpose they exist. At this early stage, others can be told of the situation, so feedback can be solicited and received (or they may already be aware or have brought it to the attention of the Decision-Maker), hence the role of the key influencers. This is the moment when a Decision-Maker begins to analyze a particular situation