Lessons from Jessica:Ultimate Caregiving: A Longtime Caregiver's Inspirational Guide to Understanding and Ultimately Succeeding at Caregiving

By James Walker

James Walker is not only Jessica’s Dad and an award winning author and designer, but along with his wife Renée, has been Jessica’s 24/7 caregiver for nearly 40 years.

In this book he follows up on his first book, ‘Growing Up with Jessica: A True Story,' by carefully recounting the l

• Language: English
• Publisher: GreatNewsPress.com
• Release date: Oct 31, 2015
• ISBN: 9781944080013

James Walker

James Walker is a retired engineer who spent the early part of his career as a patternmaker, making models (patterns) in wood used to make castings of, amongst other things, propellers for the shipbuilding industry. He spent the latter part of his career supervising the building of aircraft undercarriages, most notably for the Hawk aircraft as flown by the Red Arrows.

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Undiscovered Land.

What is ‘Ultimate Caregiving’

The terror of the unknown was there, waiting for us.

Renée was quietly nursing Jessica, sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar in our kitchen. It was always a very special time of closeness for her and her new baby girl.

After visiting the doctor’s office and sharing our concerns about four month old Jessica’s unusual behavior, we were both feeling relieved and were looking forward to the long fun New Year’s holiday weekend with our family. Life was good and we were at peace, feeling safe and warm together.

I am standing at the large kitchen window watching the huge beautiful snowflakes silently drifting down to join the snowy, late December winterscape. I remember thinking how each delicate flake’s existence as a totally unique little work of art was so short lived as they floated softly down into obscurity...

Suddenly without warning, Renée screamed in a frightening way that I had never heard before! Whirling around, I could see Jessica in her arms jerking and twisting violently, gasping and then suddenly going limp... her eyes half open and rolled back in her head, her skin was as white as death, and above Jessica’s limp and hanging form I could see Renée’s trance-like wide-eyed stare, as if to say ‘This can’t be happening!’

It was so quiet I remember I could hear the clock... tick... tick... ticking... in the background. Time stood still... suddenly our world had stopped turning.

Grabbing Jessica in my arms I tried to arouse her... there was no response... her head was flopping limply. I laid her on the breakfast bar and began to massage her, pinch her, poke her. She looked dead and was completely unresponsive.

I remember her skin felt strangely cold and clammy.

Continuing to work feverishly on her, I was pressing on her chest and pulling her arms up to help her breathe... time was slipping slowly by... nothing... nothing... not breathing... ‘ she is gone!’ I was thinking. But I couldn’t stop... I wouldn't stop! ‘This couldn’t be happening!’

I struggled to stay calm. Fear of the unknown... is so suffocating.

And so the terrible mystery was upon us, and our cozy little world was wobbling out of control. With a sense of foreboding we hurriedly loaded up for our second trip to the doctor’s office on that fateful day... December 29, 1978.

Nothing in our family’s life, would ever be the same.

Into the Undiscovered Land.

From that day forward we have lived in a different world. The world of the ‘Caregiver’ or as we came to call it, ‘Jessica-land.’

We are residing there to this very day.

Experiencing ‘Jessica-land.’

After about 25 years of twists and turns and ups and downs and white knuckle roller coasters, and indescribable blessings, we were convinced by others, who had watched our journey over the years, that we should write a book about our experiences. A very emotionally hard thing to do. Another ‘Jessica-land’ experience for sure.

After authoring ‘Growing Up with Jessica’ and as a result, meeting and hearing from thousands of people over the years, a number of things are becoming more and more apparent.

There are many caregivers out there. I have seen estimates of over 6o million.(¹) I have to wonder, who cares for them. And in addition, I am finding, almost everyone knows someone who is a caregiver.

We may find ourselves immersed without warning, into the ‘land of broken toys,’ kicking and screaming as we go. There are very few places to turn for help and advice, and as mostly inexperienced non-professionals dealing with this new ‘special world,’ we just don't get a lot of preparation.

We call it 'Adventures in Jessica-land.' It is a land of many wonders. Precious moments mixed with heart throbbing terrors, but certainly not boring. It requires some ‘growing