B Inspired 2 Cont;nue: A Memoir Sequel

By Brandon Warren

This book speaks about the once suicide attempt of Brandon Warren, a young man who carried a lot on his plate at a young age, but he found his way to cont;nue. Despite the doubt of Satan, Brandon found himself to not only to still be alive, surviving the deadly suicide attempt, but by the grace and mercy of God, he's now found himself considered rebirth. The book highlights not only the importance and value of continuing, but the text ultimately is to inspire one to cont;nue. Brandon is now a considered suicide survivor, and the message of this book will lead to inspire one to cont;nue whatever they've now come to have doubt in, not just life or death.

The text is going to inspire you to cont;nue, rather than give up, at whatever you've now come to lack faith in. The read is totally transparent, showing that no one is perfect, but the only perfect One. This book will highlight the value of dwelling in the presence of the Perfect One, Jesus Christ, who Brandon found saved his life despite his previous sins and once losing sight of his faith.

Brandon, who became a young activist after the passing of his friend, Dijon Anderson, found himself struggling to continue and hold faith in the Lord as stress and mental illness cont;nued to build up and infelicitously attack. Because of the lethal attack of mental illness, sent by Satan, Brandon later found himself struggling to cont;nue carrying his faith as a strong tower against Satan's wrath of a stronghold of the mind. God later gifted Brandon the prophetic visionary importance on spreading the awareness to cont;nue, but not just cont;nue life, but also cont;nue against whatever Satan may deceptively tell us we can't do. The deceit of Satan causes us to sometimes quit, yet this story is to inspire you to cont;nue.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098072407

Book preview

A Mother’s Letter

This is truly hard, but blessed to be writing this letter; yet, cont;nue to do as the words say of the blanket I had gifted you for Christmas 2019, that you had throughout your healing process in the hospital. On January 5, we had just got home from church. I was cooking dinner and was on the phone talking to my mom. I told my mom to hold on because I had a call from an unknown caller. I never answered unknown calls, but this day I did.

The caller said, Is this Brandon Warren’s mom?

I replied, Yes.

The unknown caller then followed to say, This is Muncie Police. Brandon just shot himself in the jaw, and it’s life nonthreatening.

I dropped to my knees in my kitchen. When we arrived at the hospital, we were told they didn’t have a Brandon Warren. This went on for about thirty minutes, but it seemed like hours! After speaking with the doctors, we were told Brandon had a fifty-fifty chance of living. I just screamed after that. I don’t remember much after Brandon had been in surgery for three hours. By this time, my anxiety was through the roof then a neurosurgeon came out and told us it wasn’t as bad as they predicted.

Now leading up to before the shooting, I noticed a change in Brandon his junior year in high school. About the time his senior year in high school came, he was not the same; one example, losing weight and not eating. He didn’t seem to be happy and not cracking as many jokes as before. Brandon has always just wanted to play football and/or enjoy spending his time with family and friends. Come to find out, Brandon was experiencing verbal hazing from an assistant on staff. Though this was a rough moment to get past, we recognize it was all a part of the Lord’s plans. Who would ever think of the amount of leadership God would soon call Brandon to at such a young age? This is a kid who never spoke in public and who took speech for a short period in elementary school due to a speech impediment. So how he became a public speaker and speaking in front of thousands of people, I now know it was all part of God’s plan.

About two weeks before Christmas, Brandon didn’t seem right, and I was just praying and praying for my son. I felt guilty for a while after my son shot himself. I would tell myself and others, What did I do? God, why didn’t you stop it? I had to recognize I couldn’t stop God’s plan, but I can help my son as he continues his journey. During Brandon’s entire stay in the hospital, there were some strong praying warriors all over the country who kept my son lifted in prayer daily. When they told us we could go see him after his surgery was complete, that was extremely hard. I looked at my baby and went into the hall and sat on the floor. I would go to my son’s ICU room and just hold his hands and at times kiss him. I would tell him, For we walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).

As a mother, I didn’t care how he looked. At the time, I just wanted my child to know the person who carried him for nine months, his ma, was still right here and not going anywhere. Unfortunately, Brandon had to celebrate his twentieth birthday while unconscious in the hospital, so we decided, as a family, we would have him a birthday party at the hospital. We had such an amazing turnout, and he received so many balloons and gifts. We couldn’t have the balloons in the ICU area. Since Brandon loved kids, we did what we felt he would want us to do, so all of the balloons were given to the Pediatric Unit for the younger patients in the hospital.

On his birthday, January 7, God revealed to me, after only being in the hospital for two days, Brandon was going to make it and return to his normal self. I called my mom crying as I told her, and she said, I know. God already showed me that he was going to be okay. I was also given confirmation by a close friend who is like a sister. During these long days at the hospital, we were never alone. I thank God for all the love felt from our family and friends. I was downstairs with a fellow loved one and the rest of our loved ones were in the waiting room. Well, when we came back upstairs, we didn’t stop by the waiting room. We proceeded straight to Brandon’s room where we saw Brandon’s nurse. The nurse’s first words to us were, They didn’t tell you?

I instantly replied, Tell us what?

She soon responded to say, Brandon just kicked his legs, and he is strong. I ran out the room and sprinted all the way to other end of the hospital. While rejoicing, nurse asked Dawn, the loved one who was in Brandon’s room at the time, Where is she going? This is good news.

Dawn replied to the nurse, She just got the Holy Ghost. Remember, God had already revealed to me Brandon will be okay. God later showed me the vision that Brandon will eventually walk down the hall at the hospital, and he did walk down the hospital hallway without me being there but was led to where I was seated in the waiting area. Mothers, or whomever is reading this if you have a child or know someone that is battling mental illness, please don’t just ignore. Please help them! Mothers, don’t give up. Look to the hills, the doctors can say one thing but God works miracles through our doctors. Brandon is a living miracle. Trust in the Lord. I don’t know why my child had to go through this. We still don’t know why, but what I do know God is real and He wasn’t done with Brandon on earth. Proverbs 16:9: We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps. I know my son’s journey is not done, and I will keep kissing him forever! Son, I know you can’t remember the way I looked at you when you were born and the nurses laid you on my heart. The love a mother has for her child is unconditional. Please keep Brandon in your prayers as he continues his healing and journey. I will always be here for you and love you forever!

Blessed to call you my son,

Ma

A close up of a newspaper Description automatically generated

A Letter from B’s Big Sister

Dear God, I know you are listening. I know you understand the pain I feel because it’s a pain that I can’t describe to you. Lord, please continue to watch over Brandon because only you can turn this around. Lord, please continue to give me knowledge to question any signs or problems that Brandon may present while in the ICU. Lord, please help my parents, giving them strength and courage to handle this hard time in their life. Lord, please give everyone traveling mercy as they travel to and from the hospital to visit Brandon. Lord, please help all of the caregivers from the nurses, doctors, respiratory therapist, to the environmental services and have all their tasks come from you and only you. Please replace my fears with strength, Lord, because I desperately need it. Lord Jesus, if you could please keep him. In Jesus’s name, I pray, amen.

To My Baby Brother,

It’s hard writing to you to tell you how much I love you and how much mental health mattered before but how much more it matters now. I know what my heart wants to tell you, but it’s hard to put those feelings to paper. January 5, 2020, has been the most challenging and memorable day of my life. I spent countless days of grief and sadness, begging God to bring you back whole so that you can continue to do the work that God has called you to do on earth. I want you to know how proud of you I am. I want you to know the many lives that you have touched thus far and that you will continue to touch as you do the work that God has called you to do. I want you to know that mental health matters and that it is okay to not be okay, but you have an army around you ready to fight the battle with you. I have seen many traumas while in my field, and I know God has a plan for you. I guess you never know why God places you in certain areas. I never would have thought I would be caring for you and thinking as I once did when I worked on the trauma floor while you’re in the hospital fighting for your life. I want you to do everything that God has called you to do. Even if it’s not clear, let God and only God lead you to bless and teach others because you are needed on this earth. I want you to know I look up to you and that you strive me to do more and to do better. Not only as a sister, a nurse, as a friend, but as a person and person to do more. I want to thank you, thank you for teaching me and others throughout the world. My hope for anyone battling depression that you turn to God. I pray that you find peace within yourself and know that there is hope and that you are still needed on earth. That you are valuable and God loves you. There is a different way to handle your problems, and please ask for assistance. I will never know who may read this book but know that God can always hear you. Please know that your story can help others. I will leave you with this scripture, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean unto thine own understanding. In all thy way acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 5–6). If you need to hear it, I love you and again you are needed.

To my amazing and God-fearing baby brother, I started off with the prayer that I said over and over during your hospital stay; and this is my new prayer for you today…I pray that God gives your peace. I pray that he gives you understanding. Understanding to know that you are needed on earth and your work is not done. I pray that if there are ever any suicidal thoughts that you find the person who you need to rebuke the devil from your life. I pray that you have a clear understanding on why God kept you. Keep your sense of humor and keep God first. I am sooooooo proud of you. It’s truly an honor to be B. Warren’s sister. I will do anything for you and will cont;nue to protect you with everything in me.

Love,

B, your big sister

Dear Tavon,

Though we never were able to physically meet during your time here on earth, your heavenly spirit has made an impact on my life ever since the day of your passing in January of 2019. Even though I never had been able to meet you, I happen to be very close to your little sister who I was fortunate to meet through my Youth Devotional group chat; I remember the day clear as yesterday when a mutual friend of ours had shared with me that she was adding your little sister to the chat. I already have heard of your story. I would make it my spirited due obligation to meet your younger sister and share with her my condolences.

It just so happened that both me and your younger sister attended the same university, so linking up to chat had been no issue; nonetheless, we also attended the same church back home where your funeral happened to be. I shared with your sister that around the time of your passing, I had wanted to attend your funeral, but I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries because I had not physically known you, though hearing your story about a young fellow black collegiate student from the same city as me, Indianapolis, who had attend a likewise PWI that had gone missing and was later found dead with what appeared to be self-inflicted gunshot wound had been touching to my life. Around the time of your death, depression had found itself to weigh heavy on my life, and ironically hearing of your story around the time where I had felt I needed it most had been truly impactful on my well-being, and to now seeing the hurt in your sister’s eyes as we would meet for the first time while still on campus would impact my life even further because I had saw the hurt I did not want to put my loved ones through; therefore, while sharing my condolences to your little sister, I would then find the inspiration I had desired at the time to cont;nue my life, disputing Satan’s deceit.

I find myself crying as I write this letter because approximately a year later, just a few weeks before my own suicide attempt, I had shared with your little sister as we hung out how much of an impact you’ve had on my life. I would share with her how so many moments in 2019 I found myself, so close to suicide, no longer wanting to live, but how every time I would feel this way God would remind me of you and the pain I had eventually seen in your sister’s eyes when we first met.

So many times, in 2019, I felt that I had desired for life to be over, but then would feel a sudden rescue by your spirit. Now as I sit here in 2020, as a survivor of suicide, I would often ask myself why couldn’t I find the strength, resisting Satan’s stronghold, to think of you hard enough prior to attempting to end my life on January 5, at 2:25 PM. This would become part of my survivor’s guilt that I often would struggle with, but then the Lord would remind me of the exact detailed moments where I