Truth and Consequences

By Mary Anne Benavidez

Yes, I am handicapped. No, I’m not embarrassed to be handicapped. God made me like this but as I grew up I built a big blue balloon around myself. It keeps me safe. People can’t reach in and hurt me. I can let people in but don’t too much. Here though, I’m letting anyone who wants to read this into my balloon. You can all know Mary Anne Benavidez. What I tell you about myself, I am all of that and more. I’ve got lots of things inside me. I want to share them. I am understanding, patient and a good listener. I don’t cover up my feelings. I am like a jackass. When you tell a jackass to move do you think it will move? NO. When you leave a jackass alone it moves but not if you try to push it. That’s me! Pay attention. Don’t be negative. Look in me. You’ll find out about yourself.
The proceeds of this book will go to St. Judes Children's Hospital.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mary Anne Benavidez
• Release date: Feb 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215657737

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Yes, I am handicapped. No, I’m not embarrassed to be handicapped. God made me like this but as I grew up I built a big blue balloon around myself. It keeps me safe. People can’t reach in and hurt me. I can let people in but don’t too much. Here though, I’m letting anyone who wants to read this into my balloon. You can all know Mary Anne Benavidez. What I tell you about myself, I am all of that and more. I’ve got lots of things inside me. I want to share them. I am understanding, patient and a good listener. I don’t cover up my feelings. I am like a jackass. When you tell a jackass to move do you think it will move? NO. When you leave a jackass alone it moves but not if you try to push it. That’s me! Pay attention. Don’t be negative. Look in me. You’ll find out about yourself.

I thank Julie Joyce from the bottom of my heart for helping me express my feelings in writing. And Marco Werkhoven for taking the time to get my book formatted, pictures added, and published as an e-book. And for making sure all proceeds of this book go to St.Judes Children's Hospital.

When I was born I was put in an incubator.

When I was one I was still in the hospital.

When I was two I finally went home.

When I was three my brother threw me under the bed and told my mom and dad he didn’t have a little sister.

When I was four we moved to Oakland, California.

When I was five, there in Oakland, my dad took me to a special handicapped school.

When I was six we moved back to Pecos, New Mexico. We had a wood fired cook stove in the kitchen and in the back room we had a big wood heater. Early morning in winter it was cold in Pecos. That wood stove and the kitchen stove heated up our big house. Kept it nice and warm. My father and brothers would get the wood supply from August through October. Our woodpile was huge and lasted us all winter long.

When I was seven I stayed home all day with my mama in my highchair and she started beating me.

When I was eight I was a sick little girl. My mom wanted a perfect little girl walking, playing, and running around. She didn’t get that wish. She got me instead. In my head I’ve forgiven her but in my heart, in the little child in me, no…..

When I was nine my mama said, Why did you live? It would have been better if you died. I don’t want you here. At that time my heart closed up. I didn’t have a mother. My older sister started taking care of me then.

My mom had 12 kids. She couldn’t remember everyone’s name. She would call every name but the one she meant to call and then she would say, You in the kitchen, get over here!