The Cage I Built: Perspectives on Intimate Partner Violence in African Immigrant Communities

By Macdonald M. Metzger

Research on Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) has given little attention to the study of IPV or domestic abuse among African immigrants in the U.S. The Cage I Built provides an insider's perspective on the problem of intimate partner abuse or domestic abuse within African immigrant communities in the United States. In this book, Dr. Metzger shared his experiences of abuse as a child, and as an adult. He looked at the experiences of new immigrants who often experience higher levels of abuse and exploitation by their partners. He became particularly interested in writing on this topic because of his personal experiences with IPV. These experiences date as far back as his childhood in Liberia, West Africa. This book is dedicated to all immigrant women who are survivors of IPV.

Who is this book for? 
This book is for: 
• African immigrant women who are living with an abusive partner and want to learn about resources and supports that are available to them. 
• African immigrant youth and adults who are perpetrators of IPV and want to change their behaviors and attitudes. 
• Anyone who wants to learn about IPV in African immigrant communities. 
• Professionals who work in the human and social services field in African immigrant communities.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Macdonald M. Metzger
• Release date: Mar 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393345220

Macdonald M. Metzger

Macdonald M. Metzger, M.S., DPA. is a Liberian American immigrant who lives in the Twin Cities, Minnesota, along with his wife, Rhoda, and three girls, Christine, Maima, and Mackenzie, and his mom, Maima. Mac, as he is affectionately called, hails from Damballah, a small town in western Liberia. His parents hailed from West African neighbors, Sierra Leone and Liberia, and he grew up in both cultures and speaks languages of both countries. Growing up, when Mac was not visiting his late uncle, Supreme Court Judge William B. Metzger in the courtrooms, he was home typing up court documents for his late father, James D. Metzger, a court magistrate. His mother Maima Kamara Metzger is a retired businesswoman. Mac began his career in West Africa as a broadcast journalist. His early radio career kicked off in Sierra Leone with the Voice of Children radio project, a program run by the Public Information Office of the United Nations Mission in Sierra Leone. He went on to work in Liberia for the UN Peacekeeping Mission in Liberia radio. After his immigration to the US in 2010, Mac branched off from radio into Human and Social Services work. He worked with older adults and people with disabilities in home and community-based settings. He has worked as a direct support professional, frontline supervisor, and manager. He now directs community outreach activities at the Institute on Community Integration at the University of Minnesota. Mac enjoys writing, reading, poetry, and creative arts. When he is not traveling for work, he is often home cooking, painting, and making YouTube videos of his wife and three daughters. This book is Mac’s first attempt at raising awareness of IPV within the African immigrant community. As a child, he lived through abuse. He and his elder sister were often caught up in the middle of the physical violence against his mom. Mac has a lived experience as an IPV perpetrator. Mac has written this book to highlight the plight of IPV within African immigrant communities in the US. He hopes that other African immigrants, especially young boys and men can use the experiences shared in this book, and the knowledge gained from reading it to put an end to IPV within their communities.

Book preview

The Cage I Built

Perspectives on Intimate Partner Violence in African Immigrant Communities

MacDonald Momo Metzger

Copyright © 2021 Macdonald Momo Metzger All rights reserved

Even though the excerpts of IPV survivor stories are real, the names and locations used in this book are fictitious. This is meant to protect the privacy and identity of those who shared their stories for this book.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

Cover design by: theDesignerz

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021906266

Printed in the United States of America

DEDICATION

On average, around 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.

I would like to dedicate this book to my beautiful wife, Rhoda Davies Metzger, my mother, Maima Kamara Metzger, and my loving daughters, Christine, Maima, and Mackenzie.

I love you all. May God always keep you safe and protect you from every form of violence and abuse.

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1 African Immigrant and Refugee Communities in the United States

CHAPTER 2 Overview of IPV

CHAPTER 3 Global Prevalence of IPV

CHAPTER 4 IPV in African Immigrant Communities in the US

CHAPTER 5 Prevalence and Risk Factors of IPV Among African Immigrant Women in the US

CHAPTER 6 Barriers to Seeking Help and Leaving Abusive Partners

CHAPTER 7 The Absence of Culturally Appropriate Intervention and Support

CHAPTER 8 Excerpts from Some African Immigrant Experiences of IPV in the US

CHAPTER 9 Local and National IPV Prevention and Intervention Resources

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

WHEN I STARTED WRITING this book almost two years ago, I did not realize the extent of the problem of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) within African immigrant communities, particularly in the United States. After discussions with friends and family, I learned that IPV is more widespread than I thought.

I owe a tremendous depth of gratitude to the people I met during my six-week domestic abuse education program with Bob Kelly Programs. For privacy reasons, I cannot mention their names in this book; however, their personal stories, honesty, and commitment to behavioral and attitudinal change helped me grow as a person and helped me share my experiences with others in my community.

Firstly, thank you, Bob (owner of Bob Kelly Programs) for your guidance and support. The following people also deserve my heartfelt thanks and appreciation. Franklin Joe, you deserve my utmost respect, specifically for your effective conflict resolution strategies. I have seen objects thrown at you, you have been emotionally abused, but you always stay calm and control your emotions. Lawrence Santigie Sesay, known jokingly as the problem child aka Never mind, but what many people do not know is that you are a great person. I have learned a lot from your wealth of experience on this topic.

To my brothers Edward Kermu and Elijah Zina, thank you both for being a part of my family. You have been by my side during good and bad times. You respond to my calls at any time – day or night. I also thank Reverend Rufus Kudee and family. May God bless you for praying with and for our family when we have been at our lowest moments. Agnes Mam Fallah Kamara, thank you for being a sister to me since 2005 when we first crossed paths at UNMIL radio. You have been an active part of my support system in the US. While I do not always call you about problems in my home, when you hear of them, you always reach out to offer support. I remain forever indebted to you Mam.

To my best friend, who has become my unofficial counselor and therapist, Duokolo Frederick Koikoi, God bless you and your family, brother. I am grateful for your friendship and brotherhood. Thanks for always opening the door to your home whenever I need fresh air and a new perspective on life. You have always gone back to your lived experience here in the US with IPV and used those experiences to help me view situations from a different perspective.

And to all my friends whose names I could not mention here, I love you and am grateful for your friendship and thanks for always standing by me.

Finally, I want to thank all of you who shared with me your personal stories and IPV experiences here and in Africa. This book is for you. Thanks for putting your trust and confidence in me to share your experiences with the world. There are many young people in our African communities who are experiencing violence and abuse. Your stories will help them to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that there is always a way out. We need to come together to work on support for victims and survivors of IPV in our communities.

INTRODUCTION

Pay no attention to the faults of others, things done or left undone by others. Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

~ Buddha ~

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE (IPV) occurs when a person who is currently or previously in an intimate personal relationship uses abusive, threatening, harassing or violent behavior as a means to psychologically, physically, sexually or financially coerce, dominate and control the other member of the relationship.[1]

So why have I written about IPV in African immigrant communities? Because I want to highlight the extent of this problem among African immigrants in the US. As a person with lived experience of IPV I want to share my story and be a pathway for other African immigrant men to speak out against partner abuse and advocate for behavioral and attitudinal change. I want African immigrant men to know that it is never okay to abuse a woman or violate her rights in any way, shape, or form. I learned this the hard way and I do not want others, especially the young men growing up in our communities, to become offenders and have to face the US legal system.

Additionally, few researchers have studied IPV among African immigrants in the US, although there are many studies on, for example, the Asian,[2],[3] Hispanic and Latino communities.[4],[5] African immigrants have also done little to highlight the extent of this problem within their communities.

You may be reading this and asking yourself what is he talking about?, as you have not witnessed or heard of a single incidence of abuse or violence among African immigrants in your community. That is because much of this abuse and violence occurs behind closed doors and goes unreported.[6] I have offered several reasons for this in the book. The cases that become known are those that make the local or national news headlines, and often involve intimate partner homicides (IPH); that is, fatal violent attacks that are perpetrated by an intimate partner.[7]

In December 2020, a Nigerian doctor, Benjamin Okigbo, reportedly committed suicide after he strangled his wife to death and tried to kill his two sons in Texas.[8] Another example is a 2017 Aljazeera news story on gender equity, dedicated to a story with the headline: ‘The hotline trying to stop men murdering their wives’. The author, Irene Chidinma Nwoye, began with a July 2008 murder of Nigerian nurse, Anthonia Iheme, in Minnesota. Anthonia was murdered by her husband while leaving work. He called 911 after he had shot her and said, I have killed the woman that messed my life up ... a woman that destroyed me.[9]

According to Nwoye, a group came together between 2006 and 2008 after ten Nigerian immigrant women, eight of them nurses, had been killed by their partners. The National Association of Nigerian Nurses in North America (NANNNA) was set up by Grace Ogiehor-Enoma. It gave out a hotline number at community gatherings and events for Nigerian men abusing or contemplating killing their partners, for couples seeking help, and for abused women. NANNNA also wanted to know why Nigerian men were killing their women, so in 2011 it launched an investigation into the murders of Nigerian nurses. The results were shocking, especially to equity advocates and feminist groups. NANNNA learned that Nigerian women in the US were being killed by their partners for various reasons:

They earned higher wages than their men.

They worked long hours, which kept them away from fulfilling what their partners saw as their ‘duties’ at home, raising suspicions of infidelity and neglect.

There was a cultural clash of Nigerian male patriarchal dominance and US employment law that required equal employment opportunities for all. Nigerian men saw this as a challenge to their manhood.

The Nigerian immigrant community is not alone in these IPHs. Men from other African immigrant groups have been charged with IPH in immigrant communities across the US. In 2016, a Liberian man, Hussain Kiadee, was convicted of first-degree murder in the brutal stabbing of his partner.[10] In 2011, the StarTribune reported the brutal murder of Mauryn E. Moore by her husband, a Liberian man, Prince O. Moore, in Brooklyn Park, Minnesota.[11] The police complaint said, Her neck was cut so deep that knife impressions were left on her spine. Pastor Charles Goah, of the church the couple attended, said he was shocked by the news of the incident. He told the StarTribune that there was no indication that the couple were having troubles in their marriage.

This statement is a testament to how IPV goes unreported in many African immigrant communities. Even though it can be happening right under your nose, you rarely have a clue. Many African immigrants work very long hours, leaving little time to socialize and unwind. Few have time to get together with family and friends on the weekend. When they do, it is usually a social event, and no one speaks of their ‘private matters’ at a merry-making event. Many do not see the need to talk to a trained therapist either. So, the tension builds, and eventually results in violence that may lead to the loss of a precious life.

I became particularly interested in writing on this topic because of my personal experiences with IPV. These experiences date as far back as my childhood in Liberia, West Africa. My dad, Papa, worked as a Stipendiary Magistrate and was very authoritative, controlling, and domineering. Many in our town and the region feared him, which also affected us as children. Other children our age did not want to play with us because their parents were afraid that Papa would arrest and imprison them if their children injured us.

Abuse and violence were all around us. My elder sister Helena and I became traumatized by the constant violence and abuse that Mama experienced. Things got so bad that we had to intervene. One evening, Papa came home, apparently after visiting one of his girlfriends. Mama asked where he had been, and he became so upset that he slapped her for questioning him. Helena and I had just gone to bed when we heard Mama screaming outside the house and calling for the neighbors to save her or else Papa would kill her. We got up and ran toward the commotion. We found Mama’s helpless body locked under Papa’s arms, covered with bruises. He had been using the same cane that he used to beat us when we did something mischievous.

The neighbors could not intervene because they all feared the repercussions. While Papa was still beating on Mama, I went behind him and grabbed the cane. I began hitting his back to make him leave her alone. He left Mama and turned to me in shock. He could not believe that any of us would stop him, but I did. I did because I could not become another spectator while my mom needed help the most. I could not continue hearing her cry for help and not daring to help her. It was one of the many times when my sister and I had to intervene to rescue Mama from him.

What was my punishment for hitting my dad with the same cane he hit Mama with? Papa hired an Armed Forces of Liberia officer to beat me up for disrespecting him. I was stripped to my underpants, held down by others loyal to