Ruptured Attachment: The Historical Problem Within African American Intimate Relationships and Why It Affects Us Today

By Dr. Sametta Hill

Most psychological research studies today account for the relational problems of African American heterosexual couples inability to stay together in terms of contemporary factors such as female-headed households, mass incarceration, racial achievement gap in academic performance, infidelity, etc. These factors are symptoms of a more foundational problem. The intergenerational traumatic impact of slavery and its aftermath (e.g., Jim Crow) is the source for these couples inability to stay together.

This book will be restricted to historical traumas originating under slavery. The practices implemented during slavery disrupted bonding and secure attachment between adult heterosexual couples. A deeper psychohistorical understanding of this intergenerational disruption will help us understand current issues among African American men and women.

The book will move beyond individual and couple dyad perspective and bring family system concepts to bear in understanding the transgenerational transmission of trauma and its contemporary manifestations in intimate relationships. The purpose is to answer this question: What are the psychohistorical effects of psychological slavery on attachment and trust in the intimate relationship among African American men and women?

This book will utilize sociological and psychological theories drawn from functionalism, neofunctionalism, attachment theory, family systems, and other relevant literatures to develop a psychohistorical analysis of relational problems of heterosexual African American couples today having transgenerational roots in slavery. Attachment theory will be used to explain attachment and trust ruptures in contemporary intimate relationships and their psychohistorical roots. Emotionally focused therapy is the suggested treatment approach that may help the couple repair attachment ruptures.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 28, 2018
• ISBN: 9781546230212

Dr. Sametta Hill

Sametta E. Hill lives in Minneapolis, MN with her family. She holds a doctoral degree from Argosy University in Marriage and Family Therapy. She has worked in the Department of Human Services for over 14 years, serving children, adolescents, adults and families in the areas of economic assistance, child protection and juvenile corrections. She has an article published in the Psychohistory News titled Psychic Slavery and Trust in African American Intimate Relationships. She is the author of Ruptured Attachment, The historical problem within African American intimate relationships and why it affects us today. Her passion is to bring awareness to the historical pain that African Americans continue to embody and to help African Americans heal from hurts experienced throughout history that continue to affect the family bond and structure.

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© 2018 Dr. Sametta Hill. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  02/27/2018

ISBN: 978-1-5462-3022-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-3021-2 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Introduction

The Functionalist Perspective

Role of the family

Socialization of Children

Stabilization of Adult Personality

NeoFunctionalism

Contemporary Issues

The African Family

Socialization of children

Stabilization of adult personality

The Slave Family

First Negro family in the united states

Socialization of children

Stabilization of adult personality

Willie Lynch

Willie Lynch Letter

Psychohistory And Attachment Theory

Slave Practices

Attachment Theory

Attachment Behavior

Proximity

Nature and function of attachment behavior

Separation of Mother

Fear of Separation

Secure Attachment

Attachment Figure

Anxious (Insecure) attachment

Detachment

Secure Base

Caring for Children

Influence of parents childhood experience

Role of Attachment on Personality Development

Attachment During The Period Of Slavery

Marriage during Slavery

Plantation Marriage

Attachment Behavior

Proximity

Nature and function of attachment behavior

Separation of Mother

Fear of Separation

Attachment figure

Anxious/insecure attachment

Secure Base

Caring for Children

Influence of parents childhood experience

Role of Attachment on Personality Development

Mending The Attachment Through Couples Therapy

Discussion

Conclusion

References

About The Author

DEDICATION

To the black man who I have loved all my life. You are strong… you are Kings… you are loved and it is not your fault. To the black woman, you are valued… you are loved… you are beautiful inside and out, and it is not your fault. To my mother, Anna Scott, who gave me life and was a wonderful example of a strong, beautiful, encouraging courageous black woman. To my children who loved, supported and listened to me for many years to help turn this dream into a reality. To God for giving me this gift to share with the world in the hopes of bringing healing and restoration to this couple, family and group of people.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to express sincere gratitude to my committee members, Dr. Joseph Genev-Reid and Dr. Brian D’Agostino for their invaluable support and guidance in the planning and implementation of this book. Gratefulness to Rozenia Fuller who gave me my first journal and said You have a book in you. I am grateful for Dr. Bill Forisha who believed in me, challenged my thinking and encouraged me to write what was in my heart. I thank Dr. Phillip Valentine for providing insight and resources to help me articulate the black experience during the implementation of slaves in the United States. Gratefulness to Rakumba Gill who supported me, listened to me and comforted me through the process. I want to thank my children, my daughter Sametta who read my book to me; my son Qwalius who would research information, watched movies and documentaries with me; to my son X’Zarion who watched documentaries and challenged my thinking and asked questions about my project; my son Tarey, who is a strong black man, who provided Youtube clips for me to learn the history of the Moors. I appreciate all my family and friends who listened to me talk and process countless hours about this topic. Lastly, I want to give thankfulness to God for giving me wisdom, motivation and the courage to write this book.

INTRODUCTION

Sealing off the past has been a way of dealing with the pain, hardship, humiliation, and degradation that have marked African American history from slave times to the presnt. But we are coming to realize that knowledge of the past, even if painful, can nourish a people’s strength

(Black genealogy revisited: Restorying an African American family, 2008, p. 114).

Research studies today account for relational problems of heterosexual African American heterosexual couples in terms of contemporary factors such as female headed households, mass incarceration, the racial achievement gap in academic performance, infidelity, etc. These contemporary explanations provide an incomplete understanding of the African American’s experience in the United States. The contemporary explanation is surface and does not take into consideration the historical challenges of this group of people. Contemporary issues are a symptom not a basis for the issues the couples face today.

During slavery cruel physical and mental practices were used to gain social control and disrupt the intimate family structure and couple relationship. Psychological slavery is used, in this book, to describe the shift from physical bondage to mental bondage. After a period of time the slave owner no longer needed physical whips and chains to manage the intimate relationship between the African American man and woman; the practices of slavery and its transgenerational effects conditioned the mind of the African American and continues to have a mental hold that African American men women experience. Psychological slavery continues to contribute to the disruption of the family structure and couple relationship. Only by exploring this painful history can we learn of the ingenious survival practices developed during and after slavery (Black genealogy revisited: Restorying an African American family," 2008, p. 114).

My experience growing up in Des Moines, Iowa, as an African American person, caused me to question the social explanations provided as a reason these couples could not maintain their romantic relationship. Iowa felt like a very conservative state and Des Moines was very segregated. The relationship between whites and blacks was very conflictual. It seemed as though whites did not like us and we did not like them. The African American population was concentrated in one area. These three influences (conservative, segregated, relationship with whites) created a world that felt very racist. You could clearly see there was a divide. I never understood why we had this relationship with whites and when I asked family members they would simply say they JUST don’t like us. Nothing else was ever said… slavery and our slave experience was never talked about. From my vantage point, white couples and families were flourishing and in my community families and couples struggled to stay together. Social issues existed but those social issues did not seem to provide a full explanations of a root problem for African Americans specifically, for the African American family and more specifically the African American heterosexual couple. I often wondered what the history was for this couple and how did their way of being an African American couple develop? The relational problems the couples experienced seemed to be related to a historical issue that no one wanted to talk about.

Beginning in elementary school we were introduced to history. During history class we learned the history of many different groups and progressions people had made in history such as industrialization and feminism; the need for these progressions and why they came to be. We learned a lot about Native Americans and Asians; their cultures and traditions. We learned about slaves during slavery… the brutality endured; their role as laborers and working on plantations. I began to realize that slaves were African Americans who originated from Africa who now lived permanently in the United States. The information provided in history class was incomplete, it did not provide information regarding