Hitman: The Believer's Guide to Killing YourSELF

By Jay Lewis

"Hitman" reveals the profound calling upon our lives that demands or requires us to put a hit out on the worst parts of ourselves. It will be the hardest thing we are commissioned to do, to lance off the flawed parts of us. This book covers everything that is essential to an efficient and effective kill for a professional, from surveillance to the weapons of choice.

In an insightful allegory, "Hitman" demonstrates how to achieve spiritual growth by killing the worst parts of ourselves. You'll discover how every one of us face decisions to submit or deny evil urges and thoughts on a daily basis.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Mar 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098365035

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Copyright © 2019 Jay Lewis

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9781098365035

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my loving wife, Sidney, and our children.  Over the years I’ve patterned my life after great men such as my father and pastor, striving to lead you as I had been.  I quickly realized that I could never be who they were, nor would I ever be able to press delete on my failures or shortcomings.  So, I stopped trying to.  However, one of the greatest decisions I ever made was to become a HITMAN, as an effort to leaving the best example as I can of how to deal with inner struggles.  Then, when YOU, my family, are introduced to your own individual struggles, you will hopefully know how to ‘kill on site’. The greatest gift that I could ever give to you is the best version of me. I daily kill my worst, to give you a glimpse of my best.

I also dedicate this book to my mother, Ella Lewis.

You have pushed and inspired me

in more ways than I can count.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I acknowledge the Late Johnny Lewis, Sr., the Late Otis Lockett, Sr., Stenneth Powell, Sr., and Otis Lockett, Jr.  Thank you for being guiding factors and points of reference for me in the various stages of my development and growth into manhood and ministry.  I acknowledge you not as perfect men, but men of standard, integrity and transparency, surgically teaching from your own shortcomings or faults.  It is through this type of leadership I not only learned to face the hard issues of the outside world, but I learned the urgency of facing the issues within. 

Thank you.

CONTENTS

The Call

The Target

The Contract

The Expectation

The Transformation

The Arsenal

The Team

The Compensation

The Warning

The Intel

The Enemy In Me

The Wake Up

The Mistake

The Line

The Steps

The Epiphany

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The call

It’s about 3:35a.m. and I get the call.  As I lay on my bed, in the deafening silence of the room, I take a deep breath and cross my arms over my chest as if I was a dead corpse. Hey, I might as well have been. I’ve handled numerous situations and dealt with so many issues of others that the average man would cringe at the thought of. But when the call comes in, you fulfill the contract swiftly, strategically and without question.

But this call was different.  This call brought me from a realm sleep to a conscious awakening in a matter of seconds. My pulse rate began to rise. My breathing accelerated faster and faster.  I could almost feel every sweat bead exuding from my pores. Placing my pillow over my face, I began to scream out of anger and built up frustration. Needless to say, there definitely was an immediate change in my priorities for the day. This call was the most difficult, the most intense, the most confusing….and the most avoided.

One may wonder why someone with my particular skillset, considers this the most avoided.  Well, yes, I knew that this day would come.  Surveillance had already been going on for years. I knew that this hour would come. All the weapons had been delivered.  I knew that this minute would come. I had successfully blended into the everyday schedule of the subject.  I knew that this second would come.  Trust had been built to a level of dependency.  Although I knew that I would meet this particular moment in time, I never thought that it would be so gut-wrenching.  Was I in too deep to carry out the job?  Would I be able to respond to this call swiftly, strategically and without question?

So what makes this particular job so difficult, intense, confusing and one that I made all efforts to avoid?  It just so happens that my subject was very close to me on different levels. The situation had developed to one that my subject was controlling ME, instead of the other way around. I loved and protected him like a brother.  He confided in me and divulged all of his intimate secrets. I was drawn in by his sincerity and allowed my emotions to cloud my focus. He became closer to me than anyone else in my life. What makes this so rigorous and complicated is that