Selfishness To Selflessness

By Darrell Wright

We currently live in a world where selfishness is at an all-time high. People are about their own business and seldom concerned with the well-being of others. The Bible commands us to "do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others" (Phil. 2:3""4, NASB). Combating the sin of selfishness requires that we learn the art of humility, which restores and grows relationships. Romans 12:10 says, "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfast in prayer, distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality." Selfishness to Selflessness is a journey from the bondages of selfishness to being free through selflessness (Christ-likeness). It is my prayer that this book ministers to your spirit, unleashing the gift of humility that resides deep within the heart of every believer. May God richly bless you and all that you hold dear to your heart!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Sep 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9781642581935

Book preview

Foreword

Self is defined as a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially the components of introspection or reflective action. Some synonyms for the word self are: ego, persona, identity, and character. Very revealing words to say the least, the truth of the matter is, we have attached positive regard and virtue to the word self. Randomly ask individuals to use the word self as a prefix I am convinced that the majority of the words derived at, will have appealing and affirming connotations. Take five minutes, test yourself and see what conclusions that you come up with.

On the other side of the coin an imbalanced, unwholesome view and overdose of self can lead the individual down the road to selfishness. Selfishness as set forth in this work, extensively stated, is to be concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself. To seek or concentrate on one’s own advantage, pleasure or well being without any regard for others. This lack of quality or condition of putting one’s own interests before those of others is the foundation this work exposes.

Selfishness to Selflessness is a transparent, informative narrative that immediately engages the reader’s attention by yes! laying bare our selfish proclivities and tendencies! Whether a sermon, song, lecture, workshop or book, the thing that that best helped me was what I presently at that time needed the most! Don’t despair! By digesting the truth concerning selfishness with these pages, as well as the part it plays in our everyday lives, we can transition to the anecdotal portions of the book which will promote a practical" selflessness in the lives of yielded individuals.

Selfishness to Selflessness is a biblically based recovery journey which conceptually houses the Ying Yang of Chinese philosophy where two principles, one being negative (selfishness) and one being positive (selflessness) influences the destinies (positively) of things and individuals leading to a life that can be exceptionally pleasing to God. A must read!

Dr. Darnell Holmes D.Min.,

Professor, Author, Counselor

Los Angeles, CA 2018

Introduction

First of all, I must give thanks to our Lord and Savior for opening up my eyes and allowing me to share my experience with all of you. Jeremiah 17:9 says, The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; Who can know it? God makes it perfectly clear why we sin; it is a matter of the heart. No one escapes and all have fallen victim at one time or another. There are numerous scriptures warning us to guard our hearts and lean not unto our own understanding. For years, I would hear the preacher telling me that in order to follow Christ, I would have to deny myself. This made perfect sense considering that I was born in sin, shaped in iniquity. As usual self decided to take charge and run my life the way it saw fit, also producing the usual consequences. However, God decided that this time, he would use my calamity as an opportunity to bring glory to himself and send a blessing to His people.

This book is a reflection of what God has done and continues to do for me in my life. You will be challenged as well as convicted as God starts to reveal that part of you which most would rather not talk about: selfishness. I need to tell you that this was a very painful yet necessary journey for me. After many years in the ministry, through a very close friend, I was challenged to take an inventory of myself and discovered something that chilled me to the bone; I was a very selfish individual who wanted to blame everyone around me for something that I had made. I did not want to accept the fact that I was the culprit. Sometime ago, I heard someone say, The truth hurts the guilty. Boy did that statement ring in my ears as I was forced to deal with my shortcomings. I came to realize that even as a Christian, I was still vulnerable to attacks from the enemy. I need to pay closer attention to the strategies of the enemy.

We often listen but do not hear. When this happens, we stop adhering to the age-old principle that says, Hear my children, the instruction of a father. And give attention to know understanding (Proverbs 4:1). God, in His infinite wisdom, gave us the capacity to understand and the ability to comprehend and adhere to His laws and principles. He goes on to say, He also taught me, and said: Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commandments and live (Proverbs 4:4). I believe that God had been telling me the very same thing, and I refused to listen. Saints, when God speaks, it is wise to listen. Leaning on my own understanding could have had some dire consequences, but thanks to the grace and mercy of a forgiving father, I was spared and, after some serious repenting, restored into right standing.

Thinking about selflessness, I was humbled beyond measure. I now understand the true meaning of humility and what it means to our Lord. Unless you become a humble servant of the Lord, you will never be able to advance the kingdom of God. All kingdom building ceases, and you will never be able to minister the gospel to the lost or assist the saints when they are in need of wise counsel. As Christians, we have been saved to serve, so we must operate with a humble spirit. James 4:6, God resist the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Selfishness is the by-product of pride, and scripture ever reminds us that pride always goes before the fall. Believe me, I am living proof of that one. However, we can be released from our self-centered desires by humbling ourselves before God.

I am utterly amazed at the wisdom of scripture. God most certainly understands the complexity of man’s sinfulness and has given us the solution to the problem. Second Timothy 3:16–17 reminds us All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. That the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. The whole Bible is the inspired word of God, and it is my duty as a Christian to be obedient and apply its wisdom to my life. For years, I preached that His word is our safeguard, a lamp under our feet guiding us in truth and righteousness. However, during my trial, it appeared to have no power at all. Please don’t misconstrue this to say that I don’t understand what happened. I know that leaning on my own understanding brought about some results that not only affected me but those who are close to my heart. Have you ever asked why there is so much suffering? Have you ever given thought to how much of that suffering is brought on by self? How selfish of us to blame God for those things that we have brought on ourselves by not being obedient to His instructions.

One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned is that self and sanctification cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Either we are set apart or we become partakers of sin. It will always be one or the other, we are in sin, or we are in Christ; there is no middle ground. Scripture reminds us not to be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. For if we do this scripture goes on to tell us that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect. We should put on the mind of Christ every day of our lives.

Proverbs 18:1: Whoever isolates himself seeks, his own desire, he breaks out against all sound judgment (ESV). Dr. Constable’s Notes on Proverbs says, Evidently the intent is, He who separate’s himself (from other people) does not want others to restrain him. Such an approach runs counter to sound wisdom because we all need input from other people to make wise decisions.

This is a very powerful passage of scripture it simply says that isolation is a selfish act based on one own desire. Isolation not only separates a man from others, but it also separates him from God and His counsel. When a man takes pride in separating himself from the sentiments of others, contradicting all of the wisdom that has been said before them and advancing their own agenda, it is to gratify the own selfish desires.

Seldom does an individual notice self when it starts to raise its ugly head and by the time he does notice the damage has been done. How many times have you regretted something said in a fit of anger? Have you ever made an excuse for not doing something for someone when you know that you could have been of assistance? These are attributes of selfishness. Our selfishness will generally go undetected because we operate out of the self-mode most of our lives. The world consistently bombards our thinking with self-esteem, self-image, self-confidence, self-improvement, self-reliance, self-motivation—the list goes on. The world makes us believe that the power to change lies within ourselves. Second Timothy 3:1–5: But understand this that, in the last days, there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. The Bible well defines self. Man who loves himself denies his love for God. For it is impossible to love yourself and love God.

I am grateful to God for allowing me to go through the trial of selfishness. In one of my life skill groups, the question was asked, What is the greatest lesson that you have learned in your life? The greatest lesson that I have learned is not to think higher than myself than I ought to. I have learned that my self thinking can be very dangerous, and whenever I use it, I pay dire consequences.

Living by the principles outlined in the Bible, I become selfless; it