Educating Grandpa

By Andrea Testa

A short hilarious history of how a grandson educated his Grandpa with unexpected twists and outcomes. Of how a Grandson turned a Miner, Biker, Rough and Toughie into a squishy marshmallow that now has trust issues.
The read is not what you expect and is simply a fun read for those dull moments in time.
As a Grandfather I cannot even begin to describe the joy Grand Children bring into your life. It is a completely different kind of love that has to be experienced.

I hope this book will bring a smile to your face on your down days and hope it brings some cheer to your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andrea Testa
• Release date: Feb 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005756604

Book preview

Part 1

Events at Work on the Coal Mine

Nothing much happens at the Mine accommodation camp and we need to keep ourselves entertained most of the time. However, during holidays for those of us that are on the Mine there is a good catering spread put out for us and like any Mine that has a Bar it is opened after hours and on public holidays.

And when boredom sets it’s not always a great idea to keep the Bar open especially as the town is too far away for a day visit and nothing is open on Christmas day anyway.

This is what I remember of my Christmas day;

My X-Mass Diary of the Year 2010 (remember I was working out of country)

DEAR DIARY :- 25 Dec X-Mass day ….. was zapped by whiskey stealing aliens who must have erased my memory or dropped me into a black hole in outer space …. As I can’t remember anything after having woken up and going to the bar. Fortunately they must have brought me back, they obviously don’t know much about returning humans as when I awoke the aliens had put my cloths in the bed and hung me over the chair! The buggers must have drunk all my whiskey as I found the evidence of 2 empty whiskey bottles that they had left behind.

These extraterrestrials are obviously not very bright or are very inexperienced when it comes to removing evidence. NASA also needs to beam a new message into space that says ... place .. human .. in .. bed .. and .. hang .. cloths .. over .. chair.

26 Dec ... 07h00 Woke up hung-over AGAIN! .... Had coffee ... had another coffee ... had more coffee .... had coffee with a dash of whiskey in it .... had another coffee with more whiskey in it ....

10h00 had whiskey with no coffee in it .... sat back and sipped a whiskey ....

12h00 ate lunch ... Roast beef with baked taters .... fruit salad and cream for dessert .... had an irish coffee ... had another.... had more

13h30 discovered I had a wobbly boot on ....

13h45 wobbled off to my tent to sleep.....

16h30 ... was woken up with coffee ..... complained about the lack of whiskey in it ..... argued the fact that coffee with whiskey in it is medicinal .... won debate .... added whiskey to the coffee ....

17h00 couldn't find wobbly boots .... put shoes on ..... went to bathroom ..... found wobbly boots in bathroom ...... drank gallons of coffee .....

18h00 .... went for dinner .... cold meats and salads .... had irish coffee for desert ... enjoyed lots of irish dessert coffee.

20h30 shoe developed a wobble ....

20h40 wobbled off to take a shower ...

20h45 discovered that foots had also developed a wobble .... fell around in shower for ten minutes .....

20h55 fell out of shower ... dried myself with tee shirt and used the towel as a bag to carry toiletries in .... couldn't find keys ... discovered that towels only make good bags if closed at all points ..... followed trail of toiletries back to the shower ..... found shoes .... forgot what I was looking for and followed trail of toiletries back to tent .... remembered needing keys .... followed toiletry trail back to shower .... found keys .... put down shoes to pick up keys .... followed toiletry trail back to tent ... discovered wobbly foots were muddy .... couldn't find wobbly shoes ..... took boots and followed toiletry trail back to shower to wash muddy wobbly foots .... found wobbly shoes ...

22h00 .... friend with same issue wobbly boots wobbled in with 2 medicinal whiskeys used for rescue purposes .... debated requirements of rescue equipment and argued the fact that the whiskey flask is the most important item in the recue pack and therefore should be the bulk of all rescue equipment along with the ice and that no other equipment is really necessary .....

22h45 ... put on one non wobbly boot and one non wobbly shoe ...... tripped over doorstep and landed on my head ... no damage done .... debated with friend that I now required more medicinal whiskey to overcome the humiliation .... friend issued another ration of medicinal whiskey to sooth psychological damage caused by humiliating trip over doorstep because of wobbly boot / shoe.

23h00 took off boot and shoe and staggered off to tent .... friend arrived with a full bottle of rescue whiskey

23h30 washed muddy feet off with whiskey and drank water ... cursed friend for not spotting mix up between whiskey wash and water drink .... debated type of sentencing for crime of using whiskey as foot wash …. Decided that the death sentence should be imposed on both parties for these sorts of crimes, firstly for washing feet with whiskey, secondly for watching someone wash feets with whiskey and not interfering or preventing this sort of criminal behavior.

24h00 discovered that tent was wobbling and spinning … lay down with one foot on spinning floor and hand holding wobbly tent pole ….. Friend placed bucket next to bed in case of sea sickness from wobbly tent and spinning bed……

27 Dec Awoke late concerned that I may die from the hangover, by late afternoon I was wishing I had died!

Sudden and Unexpected Detonation

Ok .... so a short time ago I posted a tip and so here is another useless bit of information or a tip for you to ponder over for a while.

Now I have no idea whether the latest goings on should be or can be attributed to age, (50 something), my body punishing me, a voodoo curse, stupidity, lack of focus, or to Karma.

Having suffered with hay fever my entire life where anything could set me off and most times end up with swollen eyes a very red runny nose and often sneeze myself into total exhaustion to the point of collapse which no pill could cure and my Mom would end up calling the Doctor out. (yes Doctors used to do house calls!). Who would give me a shot in the arm which sorted out the excessive and continued discharge of air under pressure. In today’s modern world I now have a wife that attends to my suffering by ...... saying Soek jy pille? (do you want