Self-preservation

Content warning: This story contains mentions of suicidal thoughts and may be triggering for some.

I really want to be able to scream. Properly scream.

That’s not entirely true. I can still scream, in the classical sense of the word. But I’m a musician, or at least I’ve been making money through music, since I was 16. And though I used to be more into making indie pop and alternative R&B, it didn’t get me going the way hardcore punk does. So in six months’ time, when my voice finally stops breaking and settles into its new range, I’ll be able to fry scream and low growl properly—and make music-the way I want.

I’ve been on testosterone for half a year. It’s been going well, apart from the acne and the constant sweating and the cracking voice. I can still