How to Survive (and Thrive) In High School

By Sofia Talarico

I used to believe that I would be trash-canned as a freshman. Whenever I asked adults about their high-school experiences, their faces turned dark and sad. Yikes. Is that how I would remember my time in high school, too?
I think that a lot of kids are hungry for guidance, but don't know where to find it. There are a lot of topics that aren't discussed (that should be!) as children become young adults. I hope that my trials and errors can help prepare incoming high schoolers for the next four years.
How to Survive (and Thrive) in High School doesn't just cover "school" topics–it discusses life outside of the classroom, as it's just as important. I include all the lessons I've learned in order to give readers a sense of power over their own lives, and to inspire confidence and motivation. Each chapter dives into various topics all relevant to the life of a high schooler, such as college applications, drugs, parents, dating, etc. But don't you worry–it's not just a long series of lectures–I share all kinds of experiences and awkward moments from my life to make it entertaining.
Though I don't know much about your specific situation–your culture, income, opportunities... I do know that you have so much potential! I'm a firm believer that your time in high school will be specific to you and your experiences, and lessons that you learn, and what you do with them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Feb 12, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098361235

Book preview

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ISBN: 9781098361235

WHY SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?

I graduated high school in the Central Coast of California wearing a graduation cap covered in mementos from the 5 musicals I’d performed in, a varsity letter, two academic awards of my senior class, the Eagle of Year Award, and a big smile.

As I looked around the graduation ceremony, I realized that I was wedged between the friends I had made from theatre, tennis, band, football, cheerleading, soccer, agriculture and choir. I had very few regrets at how I spent my four years in high school. I was ready to move on, but as I thought back, I couldn’t help but smile.

(I want to say that my high school experience wasn’t necessarily the norm. Though it was a public school, it wasn’t particularly diverse in terms of ethnicities or income. And my school wasn’t all that big–just about 700 students.)

Though you may not believe me, I don’t mean to brag about my experience. I simply want to express that I had a great time in high school! Unfortunately, I found that most of my peers (and quite a few adults) acquire this scowl when they talk (or even just think) about high school… and it makes me sad. It doesn’t have to be like that! I’m living proof. And I’ll bet I’m not the only one. Of course, high school has its ups and downs, so there is no way it’ll be perfect. But hopefully some of my thoughts on these subjects can help you navigate your four years, and save you a few pains along the way.

I like to think that my advice isn’t too outdated. I’m (generally) of your generation, and I understand what you are going through… because high school has definitely changed since our parents went through it. I believe I’m qualified to help you out–but it’s up to you if you want to listen.

This book is basically an ideal guide to high school. It includes all the things I would go back and tell my *wee* freshman self. Back then, I assumed high school would be like it was in the movies (yes, it was disappointing when I found out that high school wasn’t a musical). Back then, I sincerely believed there was a chance I would be trash-canned! (Like thrown in the trash by bullies.) Though that never actually happened to me, I learned that there were other parts of high school that I did not expect to be tough. So, I’m hoping that this could help prepare you. Keep in mind that I’m still working on these things, and often need to take my own advice in here!

This book and its advice are not to make sure that you have a flawless high school experience. Ultimately, fate will play some part in your ups and downs. High school is tough! It’s filled with challenges… for absolutely everyone! I know I certainly did. It’s just a fact that you will, too. But you’ll get through it!

Now, I do not know your situation–your culture, income, opportunities… but I do know that you have SO MUCH POTENTIAL! And though you may not have much in common with my upbringing, interests, or even my general appreciation for school, I still believe that my soul could help you navigate these next four years.

But, at the end of the day, high school is MAINLY what you make of it. It’s up to you if you want to make high school a good, learning experience. My time in high school was not 100% awesome–far from it. But it also wasn’t painful 24/7. And it shouldn’t have to be like that. Your time in high school will be specific to you and your experiences, and lessons that you learn, and what you do with them.

If you want to make high school a beneficial time in your life, where you let you yourself learn and grow into a young adult, you’ve come to the right place!

THIS IS DEDICATED TO:

My parents, for guiding and teaching me–so much. Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am, and this book would certainly not exist. I owe you everything, and I love you both more than you’ll ever know.

My brother, for learning right along with me, and for being my friend, making me laugh, and always being supportive. I’ve never known anyone weirder or cooler than you, my dude.

David Rowe and Cyndee Edwards, for also listening and guiding. You are both amazing human beings, and you’ve taught me more than you’ll ever realize.

Nana, without whom I wouldn’t have learned the art of tireless conversation and manners.

Eshley Freed-Doerr, for listening and talking. You taught me about life, school, and what it means to be a friend. I’ll never forget our countless talks and our secret blackberry stashes.

Gabby Morgan, Tori Stamm, and Sawyer Maier, my crazy college roommates who constantly reminded me that I was in control.

The countless other people who taught me so many lessons. Though you may or may not know how you are, you are very appreciated.

Table of Contents

Part 1: Perspective

Part 2: Action!

Part 3: Other People

Part 4: Of More Trivial Topics

Afterward

COVID-19

Part 1: Perspective

Overview

You may think that this first part is cheesy. It is. But it’s important. I’ll get more specific later, but for now, it’s good to absorb the following, since they provide a base for everything else.

Chapter 1

BE YOURSELF

I have this problem with the phrase be yourself. I remember back in 5th grade especially, I pondered over this so-called inspirational quote. It just made me anxious! Who was I? Really, like, who was I? And did I even know the answer to that?!

My younger brother seemed to know who he was. He was funny–it was just in his nature. But I wasn’t as comedic. So what else could I be? Was I just nice? That seemed boring. Deep down, I knew I wanted to be witty and smart… but was that me? Was that really who I was? Or was this some hopeless dream of mine?

That’s when it hit me: people don’t just wake up one day and suddenly know who they are! Sure, I’ll bet some people pop straight out of the womb with a few characteristics, but for the most part–a lot of us don’t know much about ourselves. We simply choose to keep some characteristics consistent. Similarly, we can choose to CHANGE our personalities.

You have the ability, every second of every day, and even in this present moment–to change yourself. For the better or for the worse. And it’s completely up to you! You have complete power over choices that shape your personality.

This might seem overwhelming at first, but it’s important to embrace it. You’ve been blessed with a life that holds so much potential for happiness and love. It’s your job to enjoy it. Truly. (Anyone who tells you differently isn’t someone you want to spend time with.)

Anyway… to sum up my middle school epiphany, I personally rephrased the quote to something like "create yourself or be who you want to be." And then this is what I did:

I observed other people whom I admired, and tried to adopt their best traits. For example, I noticed that my twin friends always seemed to understand academic material… but more so how they genuinely enjoyed learning. They took criticism well, because they knew that mistakes were part of learning. Is it any wonder why I hung out with them? Because I wanted to be like that! And of course, it didn’t feel natural at first, but I allowed myself to adopt those traits. And now, it doesn’t take much effort at all.

Similarly, I tried to take up my Nana’s love for cooking and ability to socialize for long periods of time. I tried to be driven like my dad. I took note of my brother’s natural humor. I tried to be energetic and productive like my mom. I even tried to be witty like Hermione from Harry Potter! And even though this all hit me in late middle school, I feel like it’s still relevant. But it’s especially important in high school, when you, you know… blossom into an adult flower, or something like that.

Please do not feel guilty about copying other people! (This thought definitely crossed my mind.) But if you’re copying someone’s good traits, where is the harm in that? As my friend once reminded me: some of the most influential and successful people in the world build their life around the work of others, enhancing an idea. Further, I think we can all agree that the world could always use more good people. If you want to be incredibly generous like your Grandma, I can assure you that no one would be opposed. You’ll find that your originality is simply the melting pot that you are.

Setting these characteristic goals for yourself is powerful. It’s fun, and yeah… it’s hard work. But I always preferred it to stumbling around in the dark with creepy eXiSTeNtiAl thoughts of who I was.

I certainly don’t mean to assert that you have no inner voice. Of course, you’ll find that you naturally gravitate towards certain things. I definitely had an intrinsic pull to music and cooking. I didn’t have to try to adopt those interests. But in terms of personality, I felt a little lost. And, who knows? Maybe not everyone