The Elegant Teen

By Jenna Thrasher

Is there such a thing as an elegant teen?

 

Of course! At least, according to 18-year-old author, Jenna Thrasher.

 

Jenna knows firsthand that being a teenage girl isn't easy. However, that doesn't mean the teen years have to be difficult or dreadful.  

 

Jenna's book stems from her recognition that young girls lack modern role models and resources—especially from a teen perspective—that provide insightful advice and ideas for navigating these challenging years.

 

In a compelling story recounting her own middle and high school years, Jenna admits that she has spent most of her teenage years trying to live as an adult. But, Jenna acknowledges that teenagers can enjoy these years, especially if they are equipped with the right tools and resources.

 

Jenna's ideas, tips, and sophisticated perspective can help you, whether you are a teen girl, or a supportive adult assisting a teen girl in any way.

 

What will you learn?

• Tips about manners, etiquette, and behavior
• Perspectives on relationships, whether your parents or friends
• Difficult social issues
• Managing your emotions
• And, of course, plenty about fashion and beauty.

Jenna wants you to be your very best self. Dive in and find out how.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jenna Thrasher
• Release date: Nov 22, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393512653

Jenna Thrasher

Jenna Thrasher is a high school student from Orono, Minnesota, and is completing her senior year at The Blake School in Minneapolis. As she entered her teenage years, Jenna was struck by the lack of role models and resources for young women. The Elegant Teen is Jenna's first book. Jenna also writes on fashion and elegance for her blog Elegance with Ease (www.jennathrasher.com).

Book preview

Introduction

There have been hundreds and hundreds of books written about elegance and manners. Most of these books are written for adults, with the exception of a few written with teens in mind. However, the books for teens focus more on manners, and less on lifestyle. This book won’t tell you how to correctly hold your fork and knife or how to shake someone’s hand. It will, however, tell you how to gracefully navigate a complicated and stressful time in your life.

My name is Jenna Thrasher, and I just turned eighteen. I was never one who looked forward to her teenage years. My life has been the exact opposite of every coming-of-age movie. Instead of partying on Friday nights, I was at home watching The Real Housewives of New York City. Instead of having my first date, I was fantasizing about my first Chanel bag. While deep down, I do feel a tiny bit sad that it’s almost all over, I feel more ready for adulthood than I ever thought I would. Sure, I don’t know how to do taxes or iron my clothes, but I feel mentally prepared. 

Through my entire teens, I was obsessed with becoming an adult. I dressed like one, tried to act like one, and couldn’t wait to be one. I spent hours on Zillow looking for the perfect pre-war apartment on the Upper East Side. Not only have I found it, (looking at you, 1136 5th Avenue!), I’ve even mentally decorated it. I’ve also picked out my engagement ring (emerald cut, preferably from Harry Winston), yet I have never been in a relationship.

Because of this, I’ve realized that you don’t have to live like the rest of your classmates, or like the teens portrayed on TV. Part of the reason I’m writing this book is because there is a lack of good role models for teens, especially in the media. I can’t think of one character in a teen movie or TV show who is elegant, which is something that needs to change. Shows—Gossip Girl, Euphoria, The O.C. and so on—glorify bad behavior. While I am a huge fan of most of these shows, especially Gossip Girl, they gave me a distorted view of what it means to be a teenager. Regular people don’t drink at upscale bars at sixteen or go clubbing on school nights. The teens in these shows are portrayed as partying, hormone-crazy, alcohol-obsessed, rule-breaking adolescents who have little to no direction. 

Teenagers are constantly consuming media that tells them to break rules and live it up—as if this is the only fun time in your life. What if these formative years were a time of learning and preparing, instead of wasting and ruining? I’m not saying that it’s bad to make mistakes. However, controlling your behavior will make your adolescence a whole lot easier, and will even prepare you for adulthood. 

I’m not saying that I have all the answers or am perfect: believe me, I’m not. I’m still learning and growing as a person every day, just like you. However, there is, in the world, a lack of modern role models for young women. I’m hoping that this guide can try to fill that gap. If you follow the advice given in this book, you will be proud of yourself for not giving in to negative stereotypes.

WHAT IS ELEGANCE?

Elegance is a trait that often seems intimidating. However, what many don’t understand is that it can actually make people far more comfortable around you. As one of my favorite housewives on The Real Housewives of New York City, Countess Luann De Lesseps, once said, Elegance is all about making people feel comfortable. 

There is a common misconception that elegance is a trait only associated with the upper class. However, it has absolutely nothing to do with money. Elegance comes not from good breeding or blood lines, but from within. It is something that can be learned, and with practice, can become one of your best traits. 

There is a constant lack of elegance in our society today, possibly because people are glued to their phones. In order to show respect, and treat others as you would want to be treated, you have to be in the present moment. Still, you don’t have to be an expert on manners or style to be elegant. Elegance, to me, starts with kindness. Being nice and warm to those around you, as opposed to being stuck up and snooty, makes others feel comfortable. 

Elegance is about knowing when and where to filter what you say. Honesty is good, but not at the expense of other people’s feelings. Knowing the climate and people around you is key; it’s important to know when to keep critiques to yourself. 

In order to be elegant, you must also be self-confident. This is not to be confused with arrogance, a trait that I find extremely tasteless. Self-confidence is being respectful and sure of yourself. You have spent time reflecting on who you are, and are therefore able to know that you are a person you are proud of. A person who is confident is easy to be around; they can laugh at themselves, rather than at others. They take responsibility for their actions. Being elegant doesn't mean striving for perfection—it means striving to be the best person you can. 

Essentially, elegance is a skill that you will have for the rest of your life if you follow the advice in this book. As Audrey Hepburn once said, Elegance is the only beauty that never fades. I hope that in the course of reading this book, you will realize that living elegantly results in an overall better quality of life—both on the outside and on the inside.

Chapter 1: My Road to Elegance

No one is born with elegance. All throughout lower school and the beginning of middle school, I lacked confidence. I was friends with people who treated me poorly, and that greatly affected my self-esteem. 

I’ve tried on a couple of different personalities over the years. When I joined my current school in fourth grade, I was an excited, yet nervous 10-year-old. Before that, at my old huge public school, I had succeeded at making one or two great friends, but I never quite meshed with the rest of my classmates or teachers. I was also, for reasons unbeknownst to me, struggling in school. I was tired of being a relative nobody, and looked forward to, in a smaller environment, becoming someone new.

In my new private school, I tried to be bubbly and likeable on the outside, but within, I struggled. Most friend groups had been established in kindergarten, and breaking in was a challenge. In an effort to be unique, I played on the fact that I liked Barbie dolls (yes, Barbie dolls) to get attention and establish that I was fun and playful. I soon realized there is a difference between good attention and bad attention.

When sixth grade came along, I dropped the whole Barbie spiel. I was ready to move on from my childish antics to a more mature interest: fashion. I had always loved fashion, but my obsession had grown significantly over the past year, when I’d discovered Chanel and other designer labels. However, I still lacked confidence. For the first few months of middle school, I struggled. I had many short-lived best friends, and I couldn't find a group of people that I liked. 

As a side note, Middle School girls are absolutely horrible. One minute, you’re best