On The Other Hand: The Little Anthology of Big Questions

By Renée Paule

A straight from the shoulder look at life in which I ask some awkward questions; such as, ‘Who am I?’, ‘Where did I come from?’, ‘What am I doing here?’ and ‘Why do we resist change?’ If at this point you’re tempted to flick through this book looking for the answers, save yourself the trouble - you won’t find any. This isn’t a book of answers - it’s a book of self-reflective questions that have fascinated me all of my life. Reflecting on them has given new meaning and purpose to my life and changed not only the way I see the world, but the way I see you too. When we change our mind ... we also change our world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Renée Paule
• Release date: Nov 11, 2013
• ISBN: 9782954681139

Renée Paule

Many years ago I wrote my autobiography - probably more as therapy than anything else; but life continued happening to me and I got to thinking: what good will this story do, isn’t there enough misery in the world without me adding to it by writing more? I subsequently burnt it. It was around this time when I began searching for meaning in my life that I had a profound experience - a realisation that we’re all connected, we’re One. I began to question everything I knew, accepting nothing at face value, writing down these questions and the thoughts surrounding them. From this, my first book On The Other Hand - The Little Anthology of Big Questions was born. In my books I take an honest look at our quirky and often bizarre behaviour in society, challenging the status-quo we accept as unchangeable; questioning and pushing the boundaries we set ourselves - and those that have been set for us. I’m convinced that if we want to change our lives and change our world then we must first change ourselves - to take responsibility for the things we do and in doing so, take back the power that - in general - we don’t realise we’ve given away. In my writings I give no answers to life’s questions - we already have them and only need find the courage to recognise them, accept them and then act. I invite you to join me on my journey, questioning the society we call ours and the role we play within it. All but my first book 'On The Other Hand' are illustrated and the blurb for each of them is an accurate description of what to expect inside.

Book preview

On The Other Hand:

The Little Anthology of Big Questions

By Renée Paule

Edited by G R Hewitt

Copyright © 2013 Renée Paule

Published in France by RPG Publishing 2013

All rights reserved in all media. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The moral right of Renée Paule as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

Cover design and artwork by Renée Paule

Smashwords Edition

ISBN: 978-2-9546811-3-9

Discover Other Titles by Renée Paule

Just Around The Bend: Más o Menos

Louder Than a Whisper: Clearer Than a Bell

Stepping Out of Time

Children’s Picture Books

The Frightened Little Flower Bud

Hat

Thank You

Godfrey for every day you helped.

Chris for Sundays.

Al.

Mike … for going out of bounds.

Louise … for staying within them.

Anne for scrutiny.

‘little red ball’.

Hazel.

Questioning everything raises consciousness

and this will change our world.

Humanity

Each and every one of us as a ‘whole’.

One

All that is, was or ever will be.

Ignorant

To ignore.

Intelligence

Independent and radical thinking.

Society

The world we’ve created for ourselves to live in,

with all its complex mechanisms.

Belief

A personal preference.

Hope

Waiting for a future event.

Fear

Dreading a future event.

Spiritual

Thinking outside the box and searching inside ourselves for higher meaning.

Table of Contents

Preface

Introduction

Something’s Not Quite Right with the World

Open-Mindedness

Interaction

Does it Matter?

Time

Right and Wrong

Light Casts no Shadow

Where am I?

Curiosity and Confusion

Our Cluttered Mind

Change is Possible

Information

Comfort and Security

Absurdities

Fear of Dying

Letting Go

Who Am I?

Afterword

Bibliography

About the Author

Preface

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."[23] Winston Churchill

Many years ago, I began my autobiography. Not long into this project I realised the degree to which I’d refined my thinking meant, rehearsing the past would serve minimal purpose. However, some insight into my life is necessary in order that you may know the background processes leading to this book being written. What follows is a relatively brief synopsis of what’s gone before.

-

Despite having two living parents, I was placed in an orphanage at the age of nine months; my parents apparently went their separate ways. My foundation was lost long before I could build it. My time in orphanages was not pleasant or loving. That footing led me to characterise the outside world as a hostile, selfish, violent, confusing, dishonest and unfriendly place - a world with which I was unable to interact. I was afraid of the frightful images that appeared both in my dreams and during my waking state.

At twelve I was marched into the matron’s office and introduced to a woman I was quite casually told, was my mother. I’d always been told she was dead. I remember running out of the room but can’t tell you where I went to as I’ve no memory of it. I’ve around twelve year’s amnesia and a few openings where snippet memories, like this one, remain intact. The incident was the hardest blow of my childhood that I can remember. Because of these blows and being forced to deal with them at such a young age, I’ve been able to cope with other difficult situations in my adult years. I’ve also been able to let go of conditioned beliefs.

This painful upbringing led me to stumble and fall a great deal in my earlier years. I wavered between feeling; despair, hatred, self-hatred and self-pity. Emotions more damning to the purity of a child’s mind and ones I couldn’t share. My childhood was brutal and left me with little appetite for the challenges of adult life.

I learnt some difficult lessons in the hardest way.

I went to night school and learnt skills like typing, shorthand and communication. I worked as a secretary, temped for a while and became a personal assistant. However, staying too long in one place suffocated me and I could never make sense of petty office politics. Office work was mundane and from the expressions on the faces of other personnel, no-one was particularly happy doing it. I tried many other things including running my own business. I was meticulous and committed but didn’t enjoy it or the ridiculous amount of time required on administration rather than actual work. I was incredibly bored, which sapped my motivation. Although I earned a reasonable salary, I didn’t feel as though I were doing something worthwhile with my life.

I later attended university and studied English Literature but it was focused on highly regulated literary criticism rather than author intention. Writers wish others to experience their horizons, not to look down at every stone on the path they’d like you to tread. Again, boredom set in. I’ve a sharp and active mind and it needed more positive stimulation. Family Circumstances then led me to leave two and a half years into my studies. The wind blew, yet again, in another direction.

By this point I rather looked forward to the changes that came into my life and was perhaps guilty of triggering them quicker than necessary. I still had no ‘place’ in the world and couldn’t find anything to love about it - I’d no idea if I loved anything at all. I didn’t enjoy the basics of everyday life - nightlife, shopping, reading, social gatherings, cinemas, holidays, touring or drinking - all these meant little to me. I was a loner but didn’t like being in my own company, which made life pretty difficult. I lived without passion for the world and its population, wondering why I existed at all. Despite this frame of mind, something ‘new’ always appeared and led me off in another direction. I now look upon these events as the stepping stones that kept me from drowning, despite often slipping dangerously off some of them. Nevertheless, I was still able to reflect, smile and move on.

I never wrapped myself up in a guru or any other mentor. This may be because the opportunity didn’t arise or because my sub-conscious told me it wouldn’t help. All the blame for the mistakes I made in my earlier life was directed elsewhere, but I now take full responsibility for all of it; no-one is to blame - it’s how it happened.

I’ve been married four times, six, if you don’t include the pieces of paper that somehow make them ‘official’. In between them, I’ve entered into several dysfunctional relationships. I’ve lived in so many houses that I couldn’t even try to count them - I can honestly say I’ve never felt at ‘home’ in any one of them. Deep inside my subconscious mind I sought my ‘home’ and this was probably my motive. I can assure you I gave each relationship my utmost attention and devotion (relative to my ability at the time), but my naivety meant I picked the wrong relationships. This was due to ‘needing’ to be in a relationship and I sought parental guidance, missing from my childhood, from my husbands. I now know I wasted considerable energy in a desperate attempt to nurture what were weak bonds. I’d have saved myself a lot of trouble had I the foresight to discern the difficulties that arose because of my childhood, and left them behind. A blank slate would have given me a better context, a fairer perspective. We don’t listen or learn much while we’re in ‘why me’ mode, do we? But life doesn’t play fair - our base instincts tell us to participate wholly reliant on personal experience.

The craziest things begin to happen when we start to question our world. I remember once I decided to move (alone) to France. I experienced considerable opposition from friends who said, You can’t just go around doing whatever you want and I’d reply Just watch me. I’d made up my mind and I did it, I’m still here to tell the tale and I’m still standing upright after overcoming several hurdles; learning to speak French being just one of them. Leaps of faith are just that. Opportunities have to be taken before you find out what’s on the other side. I’ve always jumped from pool to pool and though sometimes the water can be rather deep, if I could turn back time, I’d do it all again - perhaps with more vigour and gratitude for the experiences.

The most profound and magnificent moment in my life was when I walked one evening along a beach on the Sussex coast in England, watching the most amazing sunset. I stood still for a moment to admire it and I found there was no separation at all. I felt the waves, the sun, the sand, the rocks and the Everything. It lasted just a few seconds but it was deep, informed, and I was so moved by the experience that I haven’t stopped or left my path since that moment. It was another new beginning and the closest I’ve ever felt to home. The more I consider the questions - but dispense with the urge to answer them - the more I make sense of my world.

I don’t watch television, eat at restaurants, go to pubs or any other social events. I do have like-minded friends and love to spend time with them. It wouldn’t occur to me to give up; it’s exciting, a great deal of fun and for the first time in my life I feel I’ve found something worth pursuing; something to be truly grateful for, which I am. I now realise that for many years I’d been listening to the wrong voice inside my head - the one that says ‘life stinks’ and ‘no you mustn’t’ as opposed to the one that says ‘life’s a miracle’. The notion of writing my autobiography was a sort of ‘self-help’ therapy, a process of coming to terms with myself. That realisation was central to discovering my raison d’être.

Back to top

Introduction

Life isn’t something that happens to us - ‘we’ happen to life.

This book is the result of my life’s experiences, which for many years were accumulated and carried around in a bundle of mental baggage I’d no idea what to do with. My preface covers the underlying circumstances and the substance of the book shows how the contents of our minds can be unpacked through close examination. It’s possible to stop baggage controlling our reactions to daily events that bring further conflicts and challenges; for example; from news stories and stresses in our working environments. One way to do this is to examine present circumstances that trigger trained emotional reactions from our pasts. One of the most common of these is that we all want to be liked and if someone doesn’t like us, we revert to the emotional state from a past similar experience. Why?

The mind and the ego: What are they? Do we create them? Why has the mind got two conflicting voices? I raise these and many other questions with other diverse but related subjects. By looking into them we begin to see the world as it really is; an incredible and ingenious illusion that has a disproportionate impact on individual well-being. Questioning the world surrounding us from time-to-time isn’t enough. We have to repeat it continuously, repeating the same questions in order to discern how we can dispense with societal conditioning that has pervaded our being and influenced us since our births.

Technology has surpassed us and we carry it around as though it were an additional organ; it thinks when we don’t. It sees the whole picture and we don’t. We look at ourselves relative to the outside world and we don’t feel powerful enough to make a difference.

This book is different in as much as it looks at life now and the things we’re not seeing. It looks at what we push aside and don’t want to see despite the fact that it’s all there, right in front of us. It looks at these things without the influence of dogma. Humans are funny fickle beings:

We don’t like what we read in the news, yet we still buy the papers.

We don’t like what we watch on the television, yet we still watch it.

We claim not to like violence, yet we accept it as entertainment.

We don’t like pollution yet we continue to contribute to it.

Why do we do these things? On the Other Hand explores these facets with some bold and frank questions that make for uncomfortable reading.

The first chapter Something’s Not Quite Right with the World examines some of these issues, such as why everyone struggles in their lives. We don’t want to give up accumulating material things and we hide in virtual reality worlds and on social media websites rather than seeking our own purpose. We’re all powerful, yet we follow trends and celebrities as though they were our gods; we follow their every breath and obey their every ‘command’. Throughout the book the reader is encouraged to look at life from another perspective and see that change is possible if we ask the right questions.

We can change our lives for the better, now, not in some distant time that may never arrive; we’re good at putting things off until ‘tomorrow’ and tomorrow doesn’t exist. But we must be ready to deconstruct every part of the life we’ve created, leaving no stone unturned. Be prepared … old beliefs are hard to eliminate and to let go of. I write nothing you have to believe. I ask you to believe nothing. I do try to show you that Humanity created this world and only Humanity can dismantle it.

I’ve paused, reflected, procrastinated, been interrupted by my schizophrenic mind, jotted down ideas for other chapters, designed six different book covers, written the blurb, weaved a little more text in here and there and stopped to search for appropriate quotes to include. My mind tried to block my progress with this book, but here it is completed, finally. I grew with the book and - despite my search for wisdom, humility and grace - felt rather chuffed at having finished it. I’m now not the same person and many of my thoughts have changed. I’ve changed the way I look at myself and my world and I’ve changed the way I look at you - less judgementally.

I can’t provide you with