Broken: Behind These Walls "My Truth"

By McKenna Grayson

The journey of a young woman coming to grips with a breakdown followed by years of working in a prison. The trauma and harassment she must overcome. Lost, and trying to come to grips with who she is now. No longer does she reconcile who she was with who she is becoming. Recovery is long; it is a journey all on its own; it is hard and emotional. The attempt to come to grips with the fact that she can never go back, the life she knew for twenty years is over. Now to heal from this breakdown in order to move forward, the fear of not feeling safe, and sleepless nights make for long tired days.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Dec 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9780228841753

Book preview

Ebook.jpg

Broken

Copyright © 2020 by McKenna Grayson

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-4174-6 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-4175-3 (eBook)

The sun shines on my face and I feel the warmth. I can smell the freshness after a morning rain. The innocence, my breathe, no thoughts or feelings of guilt, shame, fear or panic.

I can remember playing on the swings, the laughter of me and my friends. Playing at the beach on a hot day. Our laughter filling the air with happiness. Innocence, I remember seeing it everywhere I looked as a child. Life was good when I was little.

Simplistic, no drama, no harassment, no trauma, no bullying. I loved when I had no idea what all that was. Like I said life was simple. For a little while anyway.

I think of all the things I have been through in my life and what certainly comes to mind is my childhood. I would love to go back and re live parts of my childhood. I would concentrate on the feeling of pure joy when I was running through the fields with my dog. Learning to ride my bike. Playing in the sand, making roads for little cars. All these things that make being a child wonderful.

I was a carefree spirit. I had fun and a best friend and my family. Sleep overs, birthday parties, working on the farm. I went to church, talked to God, learned about Jesus. I went to camp, played sports, was involved in clubs. I loved learning about the bible and our father and his son Jesus. I talked to God and Jesus throughout my childhood, I prayed often. Then I grew up and I forgot about my faith. I never truly forgot about God but I never talked to him as often.

I grew up in a small rural community where everyone knew everyone. We used to walk everywhere, play outside all day and made our own fun. Playing Hide and Seek, tag, dodgeball, baseball and even football. All of us kids played together and we all had fun. Never did we have to worry about adult stuff. Those were the days.

I can remember baking with my Grandma and milking cows with my Grandpa. He was such a strong man, and he worked hard. My Dad is so like him. Very strong, hardworking and generous to a fault, he so kind and loving, I like to think I take after my dad in heart. My Mom is also kind and caring, and she can be loud and speak her mind, but she is full of spirit and strength and I look up to her and hope to have that same strength.

The strangest thing is that when I look back on my life, I remember feeling safe, loved and cared for, no fear, no anger, no panic and definitely no anxiety. I had many years in childhood that were like that.

Do you remember your first movie at a theater? That first taste of buttered popcorn! The salt and butter so yummy on your tongue, and yummy fountain pop so cold and refreshing! What a treat and so good, not to mention the drive-in theater with the speakers on the windows of the car. Sitting in the cool night outside watching the big screen and swatting the odd mosquito!

Skating at the ice rink, drinking hot chocolate! Wearing your hat and mitts and our little rosy noses. Such innocence, so young. If only every child had my child hood.

Tobogganing in the winter, it’s so darn cold and we would stay out for hours sliding down the hills and pulling up the toboggan just to do it all over again! The energy and spunk! If only we could bottle that along with our innocence. Now there is an idea!

I had my first childhood hick up with a bully in grade school. I can remember the hurt from this incident and I can still feel it to this day. This experience with bullying as a grade school student never really left me. Funny how we remember how incidents made us feel even though it happened when we were very young.

I know that bumps and bruises happen and life cannot be perfect, I get that believe me.

When your brain shatters like glass and you are left empty and attempting to rebuild that person again, you have no idea where to start! You try to rush and get back to the person you were before your life shattered and in that rush