The Little Black Divorce Book: Rockin’ Your Own World

By Kerry Hart

I love my LBDs—my little black dresses. When I throw one on, I feel fabulous and empowered. No one can bring me down.
But then something like divorce enters your life, all that confidence goes right out the window—and that’s why I decided to write this book. Just as your other LBD fills you with confidence and optimism, so can my LBD book!
I understand what you’re going through. I’ve been there.
I want to encourage you to look at divorce differently. Are you sick and tired of feeling so full of sadness, shame or regret every time you even think about divorce? Wouldn’t it feel better if you could be divorced and proud? My LBD book explores the many reasons why people stay put—often for all the wrong reasons.
Would you rather be controlled … or be in control?
I’m going to show you not only how to create a stronger, healthier life, but why you are absolutely worth it—no matter what it takes.
You deserve to be happy and free. It’s that simple.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Jul 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483413471

Book preview

involved.

The

Little Black

Divorce Book

Rockin’ Your Own World

39712.png

Kerry Hart

Copyright © 2014 Kerry Hart.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-1346-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-1348-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-1347-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014910389

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 06/25/2014

Contents

Acknowledgements

Preface

Introduction

Love Yourself Enough to Leave

Your Kids are Equally Involved

If There is a Storm Inside You, There Will Be a Storm outside of You

Is Financial Security Affecting Your Decision?

Are You Kept or Kept Captive?

Be Your Own Person

Know Who Your Friends Are

The Path is Well Lit

Stay and Have Half of You, or Leave and Have All of You

Don’t Be Afraid to Grieve

Don’t Fall into Despair

Don’t Let What Others Think Hold You Back

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Learn to Let Go

When They Move On

Who Says Divorce Isn’t Glamorous?

Divorce is Expensive; Freedom is Priceless

Avoid Mind Games

Denial Doesn’t Solve the Problem

Going Back

Moving On

Create Space

Committed to Happiness

Pick Your Battles and Count Your Blessings

Focus on Helping Yourself

Final Thoughts

About the Author

To all women-may you find the strength and the courage you need to be bold, be brave, and always be you. I believe in you!

Acknowledgements

I feel such a deep sense of love and gratitude for so many, but I especially want to thank the following:

First and foremost, I thank God for always lighting my path and for continuing to provide me with the strength and courage I need to make necessary changes in my life.

I thank my band of angels, the ones in heaven and the ones here on earth- the healers, counselors, psychologists, and teachers who helped me to change my perspective on life and helped me to heal my heart.

I thank my incredible family- Mom and Dad, who taught me the power of forgiveness. I am deeply grateful for your love and support, and oh, how I miss y’all!

Thank you to my brothers, Keith and Kevin, for putting up with my strong will and outspoken spirit. I love you both so much!

I thank my beautiful sister Kelci and my soul sisters, Kristin and Nadia. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for always believing in me no matter what, especially when I didn’t believe in myself.

My precious boys, the loves of my life, the two of you inspire me to be the absolutely best woman I can possibly be. Where would I be without you?

To my life long friends- D’Lynn, Jennifer, Jenny, Krista, Paka, Roseann, and Tina, Thank you for not letting the ocean come between us.

To the New Tex Fran Jersey Girls, and Emma, Thanks for being my family here in Australia. You truly are family.

To all of the hot mamas at Solway, thanks for accepting me and my Texan Ways, and for bringing so much fun back into my life.

To the men who didn’t treat me so well, thank you for reminding me of my incredible worth, and for showing me how strong I truly am!

To all of my clients- thank you for trusting me with your heart! Every one of you has inspired me- Thank you.

To Alex, Emily and Kiersten, Thanks for your insights and guidance when I was just starting to get the ball rolling!

A huge thank you to Habib Derakhshan for devoting your time and knowledge, I couldn’t have done it without you!

To my editor, Shayla Eaton, and the entire team at Lulu. Thanks so much! You rock!

Finally, to you who reads these words, I send my gratitude and love. I believe in you!

Preface

A little about me, I grew up in a small town in West Texas—Post, Texas, to be exact. You know, like C. W. Post, the cereal company. I’m a country girl at heart. I love people and always have. Most of the time, I loved others more than myself. For most of my life, I was scared to say no—always afraid I would hurt someone else’s feelings. I would end up getting hurt in the process. Although I was very good at putting on a happy face and pretending everything was okay, I had times in my life when it clearly was not. I didn’t love myself enough. I didn’t feel like I was good enough. I needed something or someone to make me look okay. I looked to other things and other people to validate me and to prove my worth.

I want to be very clear from the start that I do believe in true love, and I do believe in marriage. I’ve been on my own now for nearly seven years, and I have two precious little boys who mean the world to me and two cute dogs as well. We live in Melbourne, Australia, which I proudly call home. I moved here for love over a decade ago. I fell deeply in love with an extremely charming Aussie. He used to call me his Texas Souvenir. I met him when he was working in Dallas, Texas.

We got married and had our boys. It looked as if I had it all. What I didn’t have was all of me. Although this is a little book, I do things in a big way. I have committed to my own happiness and built a very strong relationship with myself, which is absolutely priceless. Sometimes the loneliness can be unbearable, but I cry my tears, I get up, and I do things that make me feel good. I remember that I’m not alone at all because I have me—I have all of me! I choose to move forward in my life with love, compassion, and peace. I know and I trust that the best is yet to come. I am ever so grateful for my journey. I love pretty clothes, perfumes, bright lipstick, and handbags. My best accessory is my shining spirit. I look for all of the blessings I have been given; I honor who I am and what I’ve been through.

When my children were very young and we lived thousands of miles away from my family, I went through a traumatic divorce. I saw some of my darkest moments during this time, and I woke in the middle of the night with insights, inspirations, and quotes, which I wrote down. It was as if messages would come through for me out of nowhere—as if I had a friend right next to me supporting and encouraging me to keep going. I have placed these little insights I call Hart-felt hints throughout the book. After my name, of course! Trust me, I can spell! I would like to be that friend beside you, pushing you forward step-by-step, supporting you to find your