Good Day!!!: The Beginning to Some of the Best Letters That Were Never Finished

By John Middleton

Always having a different view than most on the world and growing up pretending my backyard was an ocean full of dolphins and cleaning my room to the Annie Soundtrack, comes the words many have thought yet feared of saying. Yea, I said it and then some. From celebrities, to average day thoughts, this is the reason you don't send your kids to public schools.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9781257498512

Book preview

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Good Day!!!

The Beginning to Some of the Best Letters That Were Never Finished

John Middleton

9781257498512

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

CALL FOR ALCOHOL

Dear Farmville Haters, You are going to be sorry when there is famine all over this globe and you come knocking on my gate to come eat the goodies in my farm and I say...HELL NO ! ! ! GET OFF MY PROPERTY BEFORE I CALL THE LAW ! ! ! Think about it. GOOD DAY! ! !

Dear Neighbors, When you clean out your Astro Vans, Dodge Neons and conversion vans, please do not just throw your trash all over the yards. Thank You and GOOD DAY! ! !

Dear America, Don’t get me wrong here, I think it’s GREAT to turn over Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, BUT it’s ok for a gay man or woman to be out in the service and die for this country, YET they don’t get the same rights as a straight soldier? (FYI I am all about fighting for our rights, this is in no way an anti American issue.) GOOD DAY!!!

Dear Snooki, I am sick of your oompa loompa ass. Get off of the TV and find some self respect. GOOD DAY!!!

Dear Burt Reynolds, How many tickets did it take to ride that mustache back in the day? GOOD DAY!!!

Dear Juan Valdez, I was wondering where you got an immortal burro and how much was such a beautiful creature? GOOD DAY! ! !

Dear Tyra, I just cannot grasp how someone could be telling you about being raped by a herd of koalas and you would turn that around to your modeling career. You just make no sense! GOOD DAY!!!

Dear Manning, You suck. Suck ass. GOOD DAY!!!

Dear Taylor Swift, ...I can’t even feed in to this. GOOD DAY!!!

Dear my beloved feared Scarface , Once again you seem to have left your windows open before the winds picked up and your product is all over my lawn. If this happens again, we will be talking. I would appreciate prompt action on this please and GOOD DAY!!!

Dear D-Bag Palin, Everytime you open your mouth, another woman wants to remove her va-jay-jay in shame. You are an embarrassment to uteruses all over this country. GOOD DAY!!!

Dear Brett Favre, Not ONLY would I let you spank me with your hand cupped and then again uncupped. I would also like to see you with your pants on the ground, you wouldn’t be looking like a fool though. Ahhhh. GOOD DAY!!!

Dear Anderson Cooper, Ummmm...GOOD DAY!!!

Dear President Obama, You just said that no one should go broke because they went to college and their debt would be cleared in 30 years if they majored in and work in social services. I like that, but is being a flamingo urologist a