Love At the Edge of the World: Four Historical Romance Novellas
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Love At the Edge of the World - Doreen Milstead
Love at the Edge of the World: Four Historical Romance Novellas
By
Copyright 2018 Susan Hart
Brought Together Again by God
Synopsis: Brought Together Again By God, is about two people who are brought together by fate and their love of God and helping others. One is a governess who is overweight, and one a teacher, and both help children who face bullying or self-esteem issues, for whatever reason. The man and woman are above average in weight, as well as what’s most important; love and the strength of their faith.
It all started with a single letter, a single sheet of paper folded into a nondescript envelope that she hadn’t expected.
The words that had been printed there on that piece of paper had changed everything. It had opened a door and closed so many other ones. It had provided a path out of darkness, a path forward, a way toward hope.
Evan had changed everything.
However, truth be told, it had all started long before the letter that had changed her life.
If Irene was being perfectly honest, it had started at birth.
You were so big as a baby you nearly ripped me apart,
her mother was fond of saying. It did nothing for Irene’s fragile self-esteem, but her mother told the story often and loudly.
You were so big afterward — always hungry, always crying for more — that I couldn’t even carry you,
her mother would continue, ignoring Irene’s lowered eyes, the flush on her cheeks.
You learned how to walk just so you could get yourself more food,
the woman said. And look at you now. Living up to your potential.
The story rarely veered from canon — that Irene had started life too big to be believed and that she’d continued down the path of greatness — physical largeness, that is.
It did things to Irene, listening to that story again and again, having to endure its telling to relatives and acquaintances and strangers.
She tried not to cry. She used to cry at every telling, and it seemed to sour her mother’s fun at reveling in Irene’s shame.
If you’re so upset about it,
the woman said, do something about it.
Irene just wasn’t sure what that something was. She thought she ate just as much — or as little — as the next person, but none of her classmates were as big as her. It was as if something was wrong with her and she couldn’t name it, let alone fix it.
Irene even tried going on a special diet. The only thing special about it was that she just wouldn’t eat, but that seemed to backfire horribly. She started doing poorly in her studies, so distracted and exhausted by her own self-deprivation that everyone started bullying her even more.
Fat as well as stupid,
her teacher pronounced, making everyone around her titter.
Her classmates were no better, taunting her with their delicious lunches.
Does the piggy want a taste?
they would squeal, giggling as they danced around her with cakes and muffins and sandwiches stuffed with fillings.
Of course, she wanted a taste. Irene chewed miserably on lettuce, the only part of her losing weight her hope and sense of well being.
When she finally turned her back on her diet, deciding that she could perhaps bear the burden of her bullying better if she at least had a little food on her stomach, it was as if her mother had won some contest.
I knew you couldn’t stick with it,
the woman said, looming over her as Irene shoveled forkfuls of mashed potatoes and gravy and chicken into her hungry mouth. How could you? You were born hungry and you’ll spend the rest of your life that way. Better find yourself a big house, girl. You’ll soon grow too large to even make it out of a door.
At that point, Irene didn’t care what her mother said. She’d been starving herself for so long and so thoroughly that she would put up with anything.
However, when Irene brought her first full lunch to school, the bullying reached a fever pitch.
I never gave up on you,
one classmate told her. I knew you’d live up to your potential.
It was awful that Irene’s own mother gave her peers most of their ammunition to hurt her.
Putting on more weight for the winter, I see,
another classmate told her, poking her painfully in the ribs. Here, have my dessert. You’ll want to make it through hibernation all right, won’t you?
Well, what do you expect?
her mother demanded after Irene came home in tears for a solid week of school. You’re being ridiculed for something you refuse to change. You deserve all of this. You think dieting for a couple of weeks will undo a whole lifetime of damage you’ve done to yourself? Think again.
Irene wished there was some way to make everything go away. She wished that everyone would just leave her alone — her mother included — and that she could just be by herself. However, where would she go? London was an enormous place, and she didn’t know what she’d do to support herself. As much as she loathed her own weight, Irene dreaded the thought of being hungry again. That stringent diet had been miserable, and there was no way she wanted to repeat that again.
Whenever Irene would read the bible, however, brushing the brown hair away that fell down into her eyes when she bent forward to read the good word spread open on her lap, everything sort of did go away.
All of the insults and bullying melted out of her consciousness, and Irene knew peace as she read the words of Christ and all his followers. She read about God being good and righteous and protecting his flock, and that was what she wanted for herself. She wanted to be protected, and she knew that she needed to protect herself.
The next day at school, when her bullies launched into her like dogs hungry after some tasty bone or morsel, Irene tried it out. She turned away from the sting of their words and reflected on the bible passages she’d read the previous night. God was good. God was righteous. God would see justice brought upon those who did wrong.
She tried so hard to focus on those biblical truths, to ignore her tormentors, but there were still insults that found their mark.
God,
she prayed silently. It’s Irene. Show me some sign that you care. Help me overcome this. There are some days when I don’t feel like it’s possible to go on. Lend me some of your wisdom and strength and courage so that I can seek shelter in this storm.
A funny thing had happened while she’d been praying. Irene had focused so completely on her prayer, intent on seeing it up to heaven, that she hadn’t given her bullies the satisfaction of her tears or her blushes or her running away. She’d apparently stood stock still and emotionless for so long that they’d actually lost interest in her and walked away to go find something more interesting to prod.
Had God answered her prayer right then and there? Had he shown her how to overcome her bullies through prayer?
Ignoring her bullies was difficult, but not while she was talking to God. She was so focused on speaking to the Lord that she hadn’t been able to focus on her bullies.
When she got home that night and her mother set into her, Irene tried her theory out again.
If you eat very much more, girl, you’re going to pop right out of that dress,
her mother began, and so Irene began to pray.
It’s Irene again, Lord,
she intoned silently, making sure her face was as passive as she could keep it. I think I know what I need to do in order to move forward with my life, to have some sense of purpose and peace, shelter from the storm.
Are you even listening to your mother?
the woman demanded. Do you take any pride in your appearance at all?
Nevertheless, Irene didn’t hear her. She just kept praying, but it was more than that. It was as if she were having a meaningful, honest conversation with the Lord. Was that even possible? Did her God and savior do conversations? She thought he only did miracles, but perhaps this counted as one.
She was aware that her mother was railing against her weight, saying all of the things that would usually send Irene weeping and fleeing to her room, but Irene just couldn’t make herself care about them.
The Lord was much more important.
I think that you want to use my prayers, my love for you and belief in you, to protect, not be protected,
Irene said. I think that you want me to let other people who are facing their own bullies and demons that loving you and talking to you will set them free. It’s the best way to forget about your troubles, Lord, and I thank you for whispering to my heart just what I need to do to overcome.
Irene looked up. She wasn’t sure how long her mother had been just standing there in silence, gaping at her, but she knew she’d outlasted whatever her mother’s latest diatribe had been.
The theory was correct. All Irene had to do to overcome anything was maintain an open conversation with God. Everything else would stop mattering because there was nothing that mattered more than her faith in the Lord.
Well, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help me with dinner?
her mother asked finally, looking somewhat defeated.
I’ll help with dinner,
Irene said happily, practically skipping off to the kitchen and flummoxing her mother, who was more used to her crying and her misery after a full day of school.
Since her revelation and renewed faith in the Lord, everything got better for Irene. She felt closer to God than ever before, maintaining an open line of communication with him at all times. In addition, having that helped her forget about or simply ignore all of the poisonous things that her classmates and acquaintances spat at her. The insults fell harmlessly around her feet like misplaced arrows, and Irene started doing well in her studies again.
God was ever present in her life, even as she grew into adulthood.
Irene knew that she wanted to help other people overcome the things she’d overcome, and she knew she wanted a career that would lead her down that path.
Don’t work for your living,
her mother urged. Find a good man who’ll take care of you and hold on to him as tight as you can.
However, Irene knew exactly how that had turned out for her mother. Irene’s father had left them not long after Irene’s birth, and she had no real memories of the man. Irene now understood just why her mother had always been so bitter all the time. It was hard to put all of your hope in something only to have it fail you.
That’s why Irene put all of her hope in the Lord. God would never fail her. She knew that like she knew her own reflection in the mirror. God would never let her down.
After she ended her schooling, and against her mother’s wishes, Irene entered a service that paired governesses with households in need of them. Confident in her abilities and that she could help those children in need, Irene requested to serve only the most difficult children, the ones who needed it the most.
Every household she served — whether it was for a handful of weeks or several years — she brought all of the knowledge that had served her well during her own struggles. She helped each child she came across with turbulent times — bullying, self-esteem issues, everything — and taught them how to stop praying in the stuffy, traditional sense, and really give themselves over to the Lord.
All of the parents who employed her always gushed about Irene’s ability to draw children out of their shells, to show them how to overcome their fears and hang-ups, and how to go out into the world as individuals that are more confident.
Irene knew that she was doing well for herself. She hardly had any right to ask for anything else.
However, she was a little lonely. It was nice when she first got comfortable at a governess job, but Irene was perhaps a little too good at repairing her charges’ lives. She never lasted very long before the parents saw results and didn’t see a need to keep her on any longer. She was paid handsomely for her results, but money was cold comfort, especially when compared to human relationships and warmth and compassion.
Not that Irene had ever really had those kinds of relationships.
Still, she couldn’t deny that she was wishing for something more than what she had. Was she wrong to want something more meaningful than just many positions as governess?
Was it wrong to crave some human connection with someone?
For the first time, Irene wondered if there had been some stock in what her mother had told her — that she needed to settle down with a good man and let him take care of her. Frankly, Irene didn’t need any taking care of. She was financially and emotionally stable, and she had her own apartment in a good area of town. Nevertheless, she did long for companionship, a deep relationship with someone who understood her.
Just as she was trying to convince herself to look past these desires, to throw herself completely into her work and take more