The Porcelain Rose: And the Hidden Truths

By Patty Scott

Over the past few years, we have come to broaden our definition of who can make up a couple. It wasnt that long ago that mixed-race couples were illegal in some states. Today, most people accept that love comes in many forms.

In her book Porcelain Rose, author Patty Scott tells Kiras story. A difficult childhood led to marriage to Nevan. She couldnt love him the way she felt she should, and he couldnt love her as she wanted and expected. There was something off, but in the early 1970s, some things just werent talked about. Kiras reflection on her past adds insight to what could be wrong in her marriageand her life. She had a difficult childhood with a father who was often absent. And now, in some ways, she seemed to be reliving her mothers marriage.

Porcelain Rose is a reminder that sometimes there are no perfect solutions to difficult situations, but God is always there for you. He loves you completely.

Porcelain Rose is a story of a love that never dies. Like the porcelain rose, the love survived the social taboos and turmoil of the early 1970s. Despite time so long apart and the social stigmas of the era, the love survived the dark secret, and it became an undefined love that defies definition.
Rockney Van Forsberg (aka Rock, aka Rocky)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jul 30, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504362436

Patty Scott

The author had several times in her life when she felt alone and forgot that God was always there to help her. She was inspired by the way that in all bad things that happened something good has come from them and she is amazed as to how God has shown her and helped her.

Book preview

1

A ll right. All right. I will get this done so that you will quit pounding on my heart.

You know that nagging tug on your heart when God is talking to you and telling you to do something. Kira kept pushing it off. Either she didn’t want to or she wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences.

But when God wants something done, he will keep knocking until you listen to him. He is a patient man, and he’s persistent too.

Kira married a man who wasn’t capable of loving her the way a man and a woman were supposed to love each other. During the time they were married he either couldn’t or wouldn’t trust her to open up to her and tell her the truth about his secrets. So many lies, so much deceit, and countless hidden truths built up between them—the hurts and the pain each of them had to carry for many years. For a long time, Kira blamed herself, thinking she wasn’t good enough.

Why had he kept all the pictures and the gifts she’d ever given him? For her part, she kept the snowmobile suit, the boots, and the rose.

Kira had too much hurt and anger within her. It took thirty-five years before she was able to forgive Nevan and before he would tell her the truth. Neither of them had been capable until then to face what was happening—to face the truth. They forgot to lean on God and take their problems to God so he could help them.

It wasn’t that Nevan didn’t want to love her. It was that he couldn’t love her—not the way that Kira wanted and needed to be loved. Kira couldn’t love Nevan the way he needed to be loved either; and she didn’t know what the problem was. The ’70s wasn’t an era during which you could talk about the issues that were causing problems in their marriage. It just wasn’t the time or the place.

All along, Kira kept saying that you never forget your first love. First, you have to remember who your first love is.

Kira had learned a lot in the past five years and, particularly, the past few months. She’d learned that, in life, sometimes things just happen, and there isn’t much that can be done about them. She learned that people come into your life when they are needed, and they go away for no apparent reason. Love is one of the most important things that you can give to and receive from someone. During this time of learning, Kira had made contact with some of the people from her past, people who she went to school with and people she’d loved and lived with. For several years, she had tried to run from her past in one form or another. She’d tried to pretend it never happened. Or maybe she just wasn’t sure what she was trying to do. Kira had lived in shame and took the blame for things she really didn’t have control over. Now she’d faced her past. She’d forgiven the people who hurt her and asked for forgiveness from those she’d hurt, the ones she loved the most. She’d made contact with them again and doing so had been a blessing in her life. She was learning that, even during tragic times, there were blessings and lessons to be learned. God had turned something bad into something beautiful.

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When Kira was younger, she was impressionable, and she took things to heart. When she got hurt, it hurt so deeply that, at times, she thought she would never get over it. Kira felt like she was alone in this world. She couldn’t figure out why things were happening or what she had done to deserve the troubles she faced. Now she had seen that there was more to all she had gone through. But in those moments, she’d tried to shrug it off and move on. That’s what she thought she was doing anyway. In reality, she was just trying to hide or run from the issue and not actually deal with it. Kira knew now that things weren’t happening the way she thought they were at all. Now she could see that people did love her and care about her. Kira realized that, in many ways she was her own worst enemy. When you don’t talk to people and try to work things out in your mind, you make a situation worse than it really is. Or you can make it better than it is too.

Kira reconnected with a friend that she had while in high school. Kayle was one of the best friends she’d ever had. Kayle was as full of life as she’d always been. When she’d laughed with Kira and smile like an angel, her eyes would sparkle and shine. Ever since she was young Kayle’s face had completely lit up when she smiled. Now, even when she was hurting inside, she still smiled and laughed and shared her innermost secrets with Kira. They went to lunch together and spent hours just laughing and talking. Kira hadn’t seen her since they were in their teens. This was one of the most rewarding and happy moments of Kira’s life, and she would treasure it always. Kira had learned that, when she tried to keep the sadness and the painful moments out, she also closed out the happy, joyous moments too.

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Kira was raised in a small town at the foot of the mountains, where it snowed and the wind blew like crazy. She grew up in a family with a load of children, and her mother, Olivia, raised them, for the most part, on her own. Kira’s father worked away from home a lot. And at other times, he was away because, Kira could only guess, he just wasn’t able to deal with all of the kids. They were a handful for sure, even for Olivia. Kira’s mom was amazing! Olivia had been then and remained beautiful to this day; she had a great, big smile and oozed strength. She was vibrant; even in the midst of the turmoil she had in her life, she showed strength and courage. Kira watched her and was amazed at the way she got through anything that came her way.

Kira’s mom was quite strict. But that was only because she didn’t want anything bad to happen to her children or for them to go through rough times. Kira, though, had fought against everything her mother tried to do with her. With all her heart, Olivia wanted her whole family to have the best Christian life they could have.

Kira didn’t know her mom very well when she was growing up. The two of them didn’t talk or share much. Back then, Kira looked at things through her own eyes. She based her feelings on her own perceptions of what was happening. Now, she looked at her mom through different, more mature eyes. Kira’s mom was the strength (she had God on her side) and the foundation of the family. Olivia cared for her children and loved them. And she worked hard to be able to give them what they had. Olivia was Kira’s greatest teacher in life; she showed her what really was important. Kira learned how to be strong and how to love and enjoy life no matter what was thrown in her path.

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When Kira was being difficult, she would fight and try with all her might to be nothing like her mom. Then one day several years ago, Kira was having a discussion with her current husband, Tim. The discussion soon turned into more of an argument, and Tim threw in Kira’s face for the umpteenth time the comment he knew would get to her—that she was just like her mother.

Well at that moment, Kira was never happier. She was thrilled at the idea of being just like her mother. Olivia was a strong woman, and she’d taught her daughter so much. Kira could only hope and pray she was half as strong as her mother. Olivia never allowed anything to get the best of her. Kira only hoped that she could be like that. Her mom showed her that a person could endure anything that life puts in his or her path, with faith and belief. Whatever you are facing is only temporary. You will get through it. What doesn’t kill you will cure you.

By all standards, Olivia shouldn’t even be alive today. She had survived more than any person should have to endure. But that was Olivia’s story to tell on her own. Kira had known women who’d survived car wrecks, being run over by someone who’d run a stop sign, or being beaten to a pulp. These brave women had just gotten right back up and pushed on. They had to have the spirit of the Lord in them to even want to push on. Kira would always remember Olivia’s words—what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Wow was she ever right!

Olivia had survived a broken heart—the doing of a man who just wouldn’t love her like she should have been loved. She also suffered during the moments when one of her children got hurt or had broken hearts.

In particularly difficult moments, Kira remembered her mother muttering under her breath, If it wasn’t for you kids … She would stop there. And Kira always thought she was blaming the kids for the hell she had to live in. But now she understood what her mother meant. She was saying that, if it weren’t for her children, she wouldn’t be alive today. She might have considered giving up altogether. But she never did

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Nowadays, Kira looked back on some of the things that her mom would say to her, and she viewed them in a different light. Her mom was a brand of woman that was rare, if not nonexistent, in this world. She hoped she could be half the woman Olivia was. It wasn’t that she wanted to have to go through the things her mom went through with her dad or even to have to deal with all the kids. But she did wish to be like her mom.

Kira and Olivia had learned to relate to one another differently than they had in the past. Kira spoke to her mom with respect and love again. And her mom talked to her as an adult. They treated each other like real human beings—even like they liked each other. Kira loved sharing with and talking to her mom; the two of them could actually laugh together now and share enjoyable conversations. Kira was going to try to be closer to her mom, to stay in contact more often, and to share her life with her. She hadn’t done so in the past because she’d believed Olivia didn’t approve of her or what she was trying to do.

And truth be told, there were times when Kira shouldn’t have done what she’d done or said what she’d said. She looked back now and she could see where she had gone wrong—sometimes just because she didn’t know the difference or even the impact of what she was doing and how it would affect her life.

Were we naive or ignorant? Kira didn’t know. But what she did know was that she was thankful for the lessons life had given her and the way things had turned out between her mom and her.

Now Kira was able to look back and see how some of her decisions had been misguided and where those decisions had taken her. She had finally come to accept herself and who she had become. She liked the way she’d turned out, and she liked the fact that she had loved with her whole heart and had given in ways she hadn’t even known she could give.

It’s easy to give money if you’re fortunate enough to have it. But if you don’t, that’s okay. In reality, giving of yourself is infinitely more meaningful than giving money. Kira was finding out just how much she meant to other people. She was amazed to learn of the effects she’d had on people and that, despite the years that had passed, they still thought of her and the relationship they’d had—the memories of laughter, joy, and even scary things. Scary memories included car wrecks that tore people apart because they were caused by stupid decisions. Young teenagers just don’t know what they’re doing, and they think they know everything. They are so full of themselves and life that they simply don’t think about the dangers and harm that can come as a result of mistakes in judgment.

For example, one night Kira talked her older brother Skip into driving from where they lived on the south side of town to where their friends lived in one of the subdivisions on the east side, a small area about six miles away. (There wasn’t much of anything Skip wouldn’t have done for her). It was snowing that evening, and the roads were icy. Before they left the house, their mom had given them strict instructions. Do not go out to Kayle’s, she’d said. Do not take that car out there. But, oh no, Kira had to ignore her mother’s warning. She convinced her brother that nothing would happen and no one would know where they’d gone.

Skip and Kira went and picked their friends up. Four of them were in the car when they went over the ice-covered bridge heading back into town. They hit an ice patch and slid into the guardrail, smashing up the side of Olivia’s car. Luckily, no one was hurt. But they sure did mess up that car—as if Olivia could afford to fix it or replace it. That was one time when Kira should have gotten into a lot of trouble. But no, her mom didn’t kill them.

Kira barely remembered the outcome now—only how happy they were that none of them had been injured! She also recalled that they’d been scared because other people were in the car. In those days, people weren’t sue happy; that wasn’t the concern. Rather, she’d been concerned about the passengers’ well-being.

Kira was sure she and Skip had gotten a lecture when they’d gotten home. But in hindsight, she knew the punishment should have been more sever. And she knew she should have listened to her mom and brother.

She’d caused trouble for her brother and her friends, who’d had to go home and tell their parents what had happened. They could have been hurt badly. They were extremely lucky. God was watching over them and protected them. In that area, the roads got icy, and patches of black ice could be so difficult to see that, at times, you couldn’t avoid them no matter how slowly or carefully you drove. You’d end up sliding off the