Born to be You - Enjoying a Life free from Eating Disorders: Addiction Recovery, #3

By Shannon Patricia

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has been the victim of an Eating Disorder. Family members and friends, will also benefit tremendously from the insight and advise shared.

 

Having struggled extensively from Bulimia Nervosa for over 13 years, and a further 2 decades in recovery, it is all thanks be to God that I have managed to successfully recover from this awful, life-threatening Eating Disorder. Still, I won't ever forget my vulnerability to food and hence I continue every day, on my full and holistic journey of recovery "Every day, for the rest of my life!" A journey composed of holistic recovery; self-discovery and acceptance, which I would like, if I may, to share with each and every one of YOU!  As I believe that my lessons learnt and the variety of tools and exercises that I have shared, can only assist you on your individual journeys to full and complete recovery.

 

As a former Bulimic sufferer, I have also had to do a tremendous amount of work to accept; love and believe in myself again. As well as create a life worth living and full of enjoyment. These exercises and tools which I have shared in this book, will certainly assist you to stay on the "right road." As well as help you to create a life of abundance which you were destined to enjoy.

 

25% of the world suffer from Emotional Health challenges of some sort, so there is no need to suffer in silence, or be ashamed of your disorder and/or emotional instability. There is no time like the present, to live your best life ever!!!

 

I allowed the world to determine my worth, relying on substances to help me feel alive. Addictions such as: Bulimia nervosa; alcohol; drugs; nicotine; sugar and caffeine, which almost cost me my life. I was frantically trying to find purpose in all the wrong places. My burning desire to find myself and my soul-purpose on earth, became my life-long quest. I yearned for something greater that would fill the void, which I felt deep within my soul. Still, I knew that there was a much deeper meaning and purpose to my life, than what I had known it to be. I longed to find that special, "something" which would finally make me feel content and whole.

 

Emotional/Mental Health has often had negative connotations to it, which I believe may have hindered many sufferers' former desires for recovery. Emotional wellbeing should be just as important in maintaining, as for instance, one's physical health. My vision is to give a voice to the importance which Emotional Health has in our lives. There is absolutely no need to feel ashamed and there is certainly no need to suffer in silence. Hopefully by sharing my experiences, it will further assist others and hopefully prevent others from following suit. I believe that this is my life purpose which God has created me for, and I now obediently follow Him every day of my life.

 

I believe that I have travelled my journey, not only for my own life lessons, but to be able to assist others in their quests, as well. I believe that God has preserved me because of what is within me. He has preserved me for a greater purpose and I wholeheartedly believe that my purpose is to reach out and help each one of YOU!

 

I pray that I can be a positive, life changing force for others, inspiring them to live their lives to their absolute fullest, by being the very best versions of themselves. Ensuring that we are able to live the life we were destined to live. Being free from living lives governed by consuming addictions which ultimately result in self-destruction, prison, institutions and ultimately death. For it is then, when my life's journey will be given meaning, knowing that I have survived and been able to share in my life lessons, by being able to assist YOU with yours.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shannon Patricia
• Release date: Jul 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393468837

Shannon Patricia

Shannon has spent several years sharing her story with the youth; their parents and teachers around South Africa, visiting schools and colleges. She shares her inspirational life story which includes struggles with low self-esteem; trying to live up to society’s stereotypical perceptions of “perfection.” As well as the detrimental effects of emotional bullying. Whilst “Never feeling good enough,” regardless of how hard she tried. Her long struggle with bulimia nervosa; alcohol and drugs, almost cost her, her life. Whilst battling for extended periods of time from depression and anxiety. Shannon is passionate about being a positive, life changing force for others. As she strongly believes that her journeys travelled and life lessons learnt, have not merely been for her exclusive benefit. But to reach out to others, in hope that they need not suffer to the extent that she did. Shannon hopes to give a voice to the importance of Emotional Wellbeing and remove the negative stigma associated with it. Her book offers readers a wealth of insight and tools, for both the sufferer, as well as their parents. Tools and recommendations for addicts and suffers of emotional instability and addictions, which she found incredibly helpful on her roads to recovery. All in all, she has managed to conduct in excess of 150 talks nationwide, reaching audiences of approximately 860 000 children, parents and teachers. She has been fortunate enough to be interviewed on several TV and radio platforms, meeting many wonderful and well-known people across South Africa. She was also able to write various articles for numerous magazines and internet portals on the above topics.

Book preview

Enjoying a Life free from

Eating Disorders

Shannon Patricia

© Born to be You 2020. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or replicated in any form.

Recommendations

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has been the victim of an Eating Disorder. Family members and friends, will also benefit tremendously from the insight and advise shared.

Having struggled extensively from Bulimia Nervosa for over 13 years, and a further 2 decades in recovery, it is all thanks be to God that I have managed to successfully recover from this awful, life-threatening Eating Disorder. Still, I won’t ever forget my vulnerability to food and hence I continue every day, on my full and holistic journey of recovery Every day, for the rest of my life! A journey composed of holistic recovery; self-discovery and acceptance, which I would like, if I may, to share with each and every one of YOU! 😊 As I believe that my lessons learnt and the variety of tools and exercises that I have shared, can only assist you on your individual journeys to full and complete recovery.

As a former Bulimic sufferer, I have also had to do a tremendous amount of work to accept; love and believe in myself again. As well as create a life worth living and full of enjoyment. These exercises and tools which I have shared in this book, will certainly assist you to stay on the right road. As well as help you to create a life of abundance which you were destined to enjoy.

25% of the world suffer from Emotional Health challenges of some sort, so there is no need to suffer in silence, or be ashamed of your disorder and/or emotional instability.

––––––––

There is no time like the present,

to live your best life ever!!!

Above is my exquisite Baby girl, Paige who has a beautiful saying

Introduction

I allowed the world to determine my worth, relying on substances to help me feel alive. Addictions such as: Bulimia nervosa; alcohol; drugs; nicotine; sugar and caffeine, which almost cost me my life. I was frantically trying to find purpose in all the wrong places. My burning desire to find myself and my soul-purpose on earth, became my life-long quest. I yearned for something greater that would fill the void, which I felt deep within my soul. Still, I knew that there was a much deeper meaning and purpose to my life, than what I had known it to be. I longed to find that special, something which would finally make me feel content and whole.

Emotional/Mental Health has often had negative connotations to it, which I believe may have hindered many sufferers’ former desires for recovery. Emotional wellbeing should be just as important in maintaining, as for instance, one’s physical health. My vision is to give a voice to the importance which Emotional Health has in our lives. There is absolutely no need to feel ashamed and there is certainly no need to suffer in silence. Hopefully by sharing my experiences, it will further assist others and hopefully prevent others from following suit. I believe that this is my life purpose which God has created me for, and I now obediently follow Him every day of my life.

I believe that I have travelled my journey, not only for my own life lessons, but to be able to assist others in their quests, as well. I believe that God has preserved me because of what is within me. He has preserved me for a greater purpose and I wholeheartedly believe that my purpose is to reach out and help each one of YOU!

I pray that I can be a positive, life changing force for others, inspiring them to live their lives to their absolute fullest, by being the very best versions of themselves. Ensuring that we are able to live the life we were destined to live. Being free from living lives governed by consuming addictions which ultimately result in self-destruction, prison, institutions and ultimately death. For it is then, when my life’s journey will be given meaning, knowing that I have survived and been able to share in my life lessons, by being able to assist YOU with yours.

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Depression is a Mental Disorder

and is the Number 1 Emotional Disability

in the world today.

And yet, 75% of sufferers are untreated.

23 people in South Africa alone, commit suicide every day

and approximately 800 000 people, in the world.

That’s 1 person every 40 seconds!!!.

(Ages 15-29 years old)

Choosing Life

Today I choose life.

Every morning I awake, I choose

joy, love, happiness and laughter.

I want to feel the freedom and peace that accompanies the ability to make mistakes and to have choices.

I don’t want to experience pain,

disappointment and negativity.

I no longer deny my humanity but choose to embrace it.

Today, I choose to feel alive!

Nothing that you have ever had to undergo will prevent you from enjoying an amazingly wonderful future, if you walk with God in faith. God loves you more than you will ever imagine, and He wants you to live with victory over sin, so that you can possess His promises for your life today!

People disappoint you, and they will disappoint you, because after all they are only human. God never does. Whenever people don’t approve or love you. God loves and accepts you fully and completely. He knows your worth and loves you unconditionally. Regardless of your shortcomings and mistakes made.

I was also so busy waiting for my fabulous life to begin, that I wasn’t allowing myself to fully appreciate it for what it was right now! Thank you for affording me the incredible opportunity to share my life experiences and lessons learnt with YOU. I pray that they may assist you on your individual journeys.

Words of Thanks

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my amazing Family members and friends who have stood by me through good times and extremely challenging ones.

My Family have taught me what the true meaning of having a close and supportive Family is. We have assisted one another through every challenge faced and we continue to learn lessons along the way.

My two incredible Children, Tristan and Paige. My angels, words cannot begin to express my love and appreciation for you both. You remind me every day what a privilege it is for me to be your Mom. I am so proud of the mature adults you are becoming. Huge, tight hugs to each of you, Mmmwaaah!!!

My Family continue to show me what unconditional love is. As well as providing me with infinite support, which have ultimately proven to be valuable life lessons learnt. To this very day, we remain a very closely connected and loving Family. Love each one of you, madly!

To my incredible husband, Chris who had so many reasons in the past to leave and still, you decided to stand firmly by me and love me unconditionally. Thank you, you are a greater man for it!

It is with tremendous thanks and gratitude to each one of you that I can write this book today. You have each played such an instrumental role in my life and I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for each and every one of YOU?

Thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for continuing to inspire and support me over the years. I love and cherish each one of you so very much.

I would also like to thank and make special mention of Akeso Crescent Clinic and all the medical staff. You all played an integral part in my recovery and I learnt a great deal from you all. May your holistic approach to recovery stand me and all your patients, in good and healthy stead, forever more.

Thank you to Pastor Chris and New Life Church for enabling me to grow in my faith and journey with Jesus Christ. You have assisted me through so many different facets of my life over the past decade and blessed me with invaluable knowledge and inspiration. Thank you for accepting me and my Children unconditionally. I love being part of your congregation.

All my love and appreciation to each single one of YOU.

Thank you for being, YOU xx

Contents

1. Never Feeling Good Enough

2. The Power of Words – Become Our Belief System

3. Perception Becomes Your Reality?

4. Stepping into the Parent Role

5. "Perfection"

6. Emotional Bullying

7. Reclaiming Your Power

8. Forgiveness / Forgiveness Sets You Free

9. What is Depression?

10. The Various Types of Eating Disorders

11. Treatment for Eating Disorder Sufferers

12.If You Don’t Stand for Something, You will Fall For Everything

13. Finding My Way Back to God

14. Feeling Strongholds Breaking Down

15. Who Am I Without My Eating Disorder?

16. Enjoying a Healthier, more Balanced Lifestyle

17. Tools to Help You as a Recovering Eating Disorder Addict

18. My Trigger Inventory

19. Living My Very Best Life Yet

20 Accepting Yourself Exactly as You are, Right Now!

21. The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self- Confidence?

22. Choosing Happiness

23. Living Your Life Purpose

24. A Loving Note for Parents

25. Additional Books by the Author

26. About the Author

Life’s Pathway

You’ve overcome so many things,

and every time, you’ve grown

Through sheer determination

and the wisdom that you’ve shown.

So, as you face this journey,

from the moment you begin,

Know that God will guide you,

and you’ll have the strength to win.

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Hello there!

Alrightie then, so who am I? My name is Shannon, Patricia and I was born on the 9th July 1974 in Empangeni, Kwazulu-Natal, South Africa. As I couldn’t pronounce my English surname, I would call myself, Shannie B which many of my lifelong friends still call me today! Ha ha! 😊 Here are photos of me as a baby. Toooo cute, don’t you think?!!! 😉

Above is me at the age of 2 years old.

Below is my brother, Ryan and I at ages 2 and 4 years old.

Below is me at age 5 years old.

As the first born, I was considered the apple of my Parent's eye, the perfect, idyllic daughter. I had a positive, outgoing, bubbly and cheerful personality. Often playing, dress-up pretending to be a wealthy and successful business lady, as I escaped into my fantasy world. I never allowed anything to get me down. I was privileged to have many close friends and my Parents would often joke that I had a degree in socialising!!! Ha ha!!! 😊 I was the go-getter; the achiever; the girl who knew what she wanted and went all out to achieve it! I was a girl who had big dreams!

Always having exceptionally high standards and expectations of myself whilst growing up. I became a perfectionist who was very hard on herself. A girl who was especially hard on herself. Constantly competing against the best of the best, and yet, never quite succeeding. In my mind, I believed that unless I was the very best in everything I did, I wouldn’t be loved or accepted.

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What were the Contributing Factors to

My Downfalls?

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My Dad was a very influential person in our lives and was an exceptionally high achiever. He was Head Boy in high school, achieved the highest marks in South Africa for applied mathematics when he was in Grade 11. He was 1st team tennis, cricket and soccer and had 16 scrolls on his colours blazer which were sewn over the two pockets on each side. He later graduated with several degrees, cum laudé. I was always extremely proud of my Dad for all his extraordinary achievements, but I do remember thinking to myself, How on earth do I begin to compete with all of these achievements? Shooooeeewwwweeee!!!

Being a Child with a rather sensitive streak in her, I constantly compared myself to both my Dad and brother’s exceptional achievements.

I allowed comments from those around me to erode my confidence and self-esteem. Until I had completely lost sight of what my goals and aspirations for my life actually were?

In summary, the culprit was Emotional Abuse! Allowing others’ hurtful teasing; name-calling; comments, etc to become my belief system.

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Never Feeling Good Enough!

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Very quickly, I learnt that unless you were 1st in everything that you did, your efforts were merely done in vain. And even when you did excel, there was never real acknowledgement for it. Having an exceptionally high IQ unfortunately did not mean that my Dad had an equally high EQ (Emotional Intelligence) So, we only really received hugs on our Birthdays and Christmas Day.

I wasn’t exceptionally good or competitive in ball sports and so grew up in my brother’s shadow. I always wanted to be as good as he was in sports, so that my Dad would at least include me in their so called friendly games together. But sadly, I was always the spectator watching their games. Never one of the players, on the field. I spent my entire Childhood trying to obtain my father’s stamp of approval, but sadly to no avail.  I also wasn’t an exceptionally academically minded student. And so, I constantly felt like an absolute misfit in my own Family. Never quite feeling as if I truly belonged.

Entering puberty and being rather short, I always had to be conscious about my food intake and weight fluctuations. My Dad would often make fun of my body, by referring to it as a Grunburger wine bottle. Which is not at all complementary for an adolescent young lady growing up. (Photo enclosed below)

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When people would complement me on perhaps the shape of my legs, my Dad would always joke and say, Yes, if she had another 2, she could kick-start a Boeing. The joke would always be on me and if I didn’t laugh along to his jokes, then I was told that, I didn’t have a sense of humour. It didn’t take too long for me to develop an inferiority complex about my figure and my legs, as well.

We are bombarded daily by what society deems as being, acceptable and perfect. Coupled with continuous pressure to fit in and to be accepted by the world.  The media places tremendous pressure on us, constantly dictating what brands to use; to what cellphone to use; to what shoe to wear! There is great emphasis to look the part, in order to feel accepted and to fit into society.

We are also continually exposed to social