15 Year Sentence Breaking The Cycle

By Carly Bongers

“It’s frightening on the inside

All the demons in my head

I wish to close my eyes

And see angels instead”

Life has many ups and downs and I found my only solace in words when I was stuck in the darkness, praying to escape. I had to destroy myself to be able to set myself free, from myself. To truly love myself.

The rhymes in this book, depict my journey thus far. The ups and downs of discovering who I am, accepting myself and manoeuvring through what I imagined love to be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carly Bongers
• Release date: May 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463782385

Carly Bongers

Carly Bongers is a passionate writer that draws inspiration from the ups and downs of life and the situations in which she finds herself in.

Book preview

PRELUDE

Life has many ups and downs and I found my only solace in words when I was stuck in the darkness, praying to escape.

The beginning of my 30’s was a turning point for me. I was torn apart and lost. In what I felt was my darkest times, I rebuilt myself. Which was the best thing that could have happened to me. Reassessing all the bad to find clarity, purpose and direction. I know a lot more about who I am, but I know I still have a lot to learn and figure out. Which I guess life is, a series of positive and negative events, leading you to the person you are meant to be.

As an INTJ personality I was never good with social interactions. I battle connecting with people and I try use experiences and what I have seen to interact; however, I am slowly learning, what is right and wrong and not to just accept behaviour because I am unsure of people or myself.

Infatuation is a drug more powerful than ecstasy. There is also a fine line between love and infatuation. Love is not obsession; love is not destroying yourself to put that other person first. Love is the feeling of safety, comfort and that everything will be ok with that person.

It took me a very long time to realise that my unhappiness stemmed from people. The patterns of abuse became clear and even though it is so hard to let go of these toxic individuals, it is life altering.

Expecting that toxic people will change and that you can be that change is the definition of madness. Toxic people take the inch of good faith you provide and manipulate it to their advantage, to use up what they can of you before moving on to their next casualty.

Thinking you can change someone is a juvenile delusion. If you need to change someone, then that person was never meant to be yours. Similarly, pretending to be who you think they want is a game that is not worth playing. True love and devotion is scarce, but do not settle