The Power of Networking

By Nick Michaelides

Nick Michaelides is an entrepreneur and investment advisor with particular expertise in the EMEA region. He is the President and Founder of his consulting and property business and is, at present, expanding in the real estate sector in Cyprus and Dubai. He grew up in Toronto, Canada and is originally from Cyprus, where he is currently based.

From a young age, he has been particularly interested in the ways through which people interact, form relations, create and maintain successful networks. He has also been studying how the improvement of personal traits attract connections at the professional level.

In his second book, “The Power of Networking”, Nick explores how networking can make or break deals, as well as the importance of social connections in setting a new standard for generating meaningful business connections.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Armida Publications
• Release date: Apr 26, 2020
• ISBN: 9789925573400

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AUTHOR

PART 1 - TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

CHAPTER 1 - DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN

We see it all around. The vast majority watch and point at things not progressed nicely yet never recognize things progressing admirably. Also, a large part of the time, we are occupied with discovering the flaws in others and never attempt to pass judgment on ourselves or our activities.

These are natural human instincts in real life. Even if an individual is a wrongdoer, one will, in general, accuse everyone except oneself. This is how people are. So when you and I find it enticing to criticize somebody tomorrow, how about we recall that reactions resemble homing pigeons. They generally return home. We should understand that the individual we address and condemn will presumably legitimize themselves and consequently denounce us. Or, no doubt, the other person will simply state: I don’t see how I could have done anything else.

When I chat with my friends or managers, I discover everybody needs to change and direct and improve different individuals in a group or gathering. As an aspect of their responsibilities/work, it is vital, yet it is exceptionally uncommon that these same friends and managers need to change and improve themselves. Why not start the change without anyone else’s input?

Indeed, even Dale Carnegie referenced that From a simply egotistical point of view, improving oneself is significantly more productive than attempting to improve others – truly, and much less risky.

Try not to complain about the snow on your neighbor’s rooftop, said Confucius, when your doorstep is unclean.

In the first passage, Carnegie is educating us regarding probably the most serious issue in speaking with people — criticism.

In our lives, we generally criticize other individuals believing that we are superior to them. Even if we don’t have a clear idea about their circumstances or their genuine stories, we still condemn them. I think it is challenging. It is simpler to sit and judge others, revealing to them how we believe things should be done, rather than changing something in ourselves.

I prefer the model of guardians. In our adolescence, in our regular day-to-day existence, so we experience this issue frequently. Occasionally we don’t even focus on it. I figured analysis would consistently be a significant part of life. However, this only works if we begin with ourselves, and attempt not to pass judgment on others.

These strategies are useless when attempting to have an impact on somebody else. Analysis ordinarily puts the beneficiary on edge, defending their activities and disdaining the pundit. Individuals have 101 reasons why they commit any error, and only once in a while, reprimanding themselves for their actions. They consider the criticism to be an assault. Their pride endures a shot, and disdain rises.

Frequently the errors made by others appear to be silly. However, we see these activities from an external focal point, providing extraordinary discernment. At the point when Abraham Lincoln’s significant other spoke out against the southerners, Lincoln reacted, Don’t criticize them; they are exactly what we would be under comparable conditions.

Notwithstanding the consistent, mindful people who do consider themselves responsible for their missteps, criticizing, condemning, and complaining against them are still not the appropriate responses. These capable people will, in general, be their very own hardest pundit. After a misstep, they give themselves a sufficiently severe audit and external analysis to assure the mistake is not repeated.

B.F. Skinner, a celebrated social clinician, found that creatures improve more from being compensated for their exemplary conduct as opposed to rebuffed for their slip-ups. The equivalent goes for people. We are unmistakably bound to respond better to uplifting feedback than to being admonished for a mistake in judgment.

Errors are inescapable. Realizing that you won’t get condemned for your missteps gives you somewhat more room and reduces some undue pressure. Misfortunes are exercises. We should gain from our disappointments, see what we fouled up and course correct.

If individuals get embarrassed for committing an inescapable error, they progressively surrender. The dread of disappointment incapacitates and reduces the chances of additional risks. Instead of scrutinizing others, regardless of your position, how about trying to comprehend why they settled on that choice and excuse them for their misstep?

That said, regardless, we can’t stroll through our existence with rose-tinted glasses and look past everybody’s missteps. On the off chance that thoughtless blunders keep on heaping up, with no effort to redress the circumstances, you should do what’s necessary to locate another companion, worker, repairman, or another individual, as appropriate.

Try not to criticize an individual for having an unexpected sentiment in comparison to you, since everybody’s feeling matter paying little heed to whether there is 100 percent understanding. If you jump to scrutinize, you will never get anything achieved. The most widely recognized normal response for somebody is to quiet down and avoid a discussion with you. This is particularly significant in the working environment when attempting to settle a contention. Compromise doesn’t occur by censuring your colleagues.

Try not to condemn your collaborator or companion for accomplishing something you don’t accept as correct. There might be some motivation behind why the person chose to do things that way. Also, you won’t realize that motivation except if you approach your companion with a receptive outlook and a calm mind. Condemning someone else’s activities without knowing the full situation of that activity is immature and shallow.

Try not to complain about a choice that was made or about an issue you are having. Instead, work effectively to unravel it. Ask yourself what’s the most terrible that could occur, and after that, search for an answer. Somebody once revealed to me that a lack of concern is the adversary of advancement. Complaining about your activity or something that happened will keep you from tackling the issue and it will get you a ton of irritated looks from your companions. Individuals would prefer not to hear you complain about something that occurred previously. They need to hear how or what you did to fathom it.

Without making a hasty judgment, I ask you to apply this rule to your life. Take a gander at the distinction between the two alternatives a while later and post a remark here telling us how it turned out. On the off-chance that you pursue this rule, you will feel not so much focused but rather more ready to attempt this again later on because it worked for you once previously. I urge you to try this since you’ll leave the circumstance with a lovely sentiment, an abnormal state of profitability and a positive working association with your colleague.

CHAPTER 2 - GIVE HONEST AND SINCERE APPRECIATION

The longing to be important is a thing that makes us human. The craving to leave something significant after death, the longing to be significant for someone, to add to our life is something huge, expansive. When did you last compliment somebody? When did you censure somebody and educate him concerning his missteps? I figure it is probably easier for most people to answer the second question.

In regular day-to-day existence, we don’t see a ton of positive characteristics in the individuals around us. We concentrate on weaknesses, inconveniences, demonstrate their missteps, which all shows we don’t value them. Honest and sincere appreciation is used too sparingly by most individuals. Numerous individuals have undermined the adequacy of recognition for various reasons. Be that as it may, the individuals who know how to provide positive feedback, appreciation and recognition have done marvels in their personal and professional lives. Without question, this is the best device you can use to dazzle individuals, change the circumstances, steer the outcomes to support you and in particular, give others a favourable impression of you.

Numerous things that occur in our lives are typical or tedious. Only sometimes do we see understanding or feel something extraordinary. A trigger is something that gives us a sentiment of wonderment. Build up a propensity for remembering it, since this will be your best weapon in years to come.

When I see something great by any colleague or somebody from another group, I try to be sure to value the demonstration. I overlook any negatives about the individual or terrible encounters I previously had with the individual. My mind makes a decent attempt to help me to remember awful things; however, I tell myself that I should indicate appreciation. I do that not exclusively to welcome the individual, but to ensure that he keeps in the best spirits in the future. I disclose to him that he has done a stunning thing that I find impressive. I salute him and reveal to him how this will impact opportunities in the future. I express gratitude toward him again and guide him to keep the beneficial actions coming.

Appreciation is one of the most incredible assets on the planet, the entry peruses. Individuals will seldom work at their most extreme potential under analysis; however, honest appreciation draws out their best. So why we don’t do likewise? I believe it’s not all that difficult to do. However, we must not mistake appreciation for adulation.

What is the difference between appreciation and sweet talk? That is basic. One is sincere and the other insincere. One originates from the heart out, the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish, the other narrow-minded. One is generally appreciated; the other all around denounced.

Along these lines, the second principle — give honest appreciation. You can inspire a few people, make them feel much improved, help them with their issues. How about we stop thinking about our achievements, our needs? How about we attempt to appreciate other valid statements? At that point, overlook sweet talk. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be healthy in your approval and abundant in your recognition, and individuals will appreciate your words, cherish them and rehash them over a lifetime – rehash them years after you have overlooked them.

Dale Carnegie teaches that we are to give an honest and sincere appreciation of others if we want to influence them so that they WANT to help us with our work. When the other person feels valued, respected and essential, it helps them feel closer to you and naturally, they are more likely to want to work with you to help solve your issues. As you look for (and find) these things, it also begins to change the way you see them. This improves your relationship, your energy at work and your overall efficiency.

Where it counts, everybody needs to feel appreciated, to feel significant. What drives that sentiment of significance is distinctive for every one of us. For instance, mine floods from having an enduring effect on our general public, regardless of whether it’s at work (by adding to ventures that are rethinking the fate of my locale) or at home (by sharing exhortation, encounters, and assets to enable you to be your best you). What drives your sentiment of significance?

Dale Carnegie’s enormous mystery for managing individuals is to fulfill their yearning to feel significant. He asserts that when we make individuals feel appreciated, we can get them to do what we need for two reasons: (1) the positive communication causes security; and (2) it fortifies the behaviour (s) we’re chasing.

The issue I have with this standard is that it is hard to apply. There is an ultra-barely recognizable difference between utilizing it for good and using it insidiously. That is to say, doesn’t it sound manipulative to commend others for facilitating your plan? It absolutely does to me.

Dale Carnegie recognizes this test, which is the reason he digs into the distinction among appreciation and adulation for about four pages of this part. He clarifies that appreciation floods from the heart, making it earnest and unselfish. It expects us to quit pondering ourselves for ten seconds to think about the other individual’s positive characteristics. Then again, honeyed words require little exertion since you’re defaulting to stating what the collector needs to hear, making it undependable and narrow-minded.

I wasn’t extremely effective with Principle 1; however, man, this one was even harder for me. It had my still-small-voice on overdrive all of a week ago as I looked for chances to demonstrate appreciation honestly and truly. I hushed up about reasoning, Am I complimenting my partners since I genuinely feel along these lines, or in light of the fact that I need them to continue doing what they’re doing? It was an all-out mind trip and, at last, I complimented nobody, inspired by a paranoid fear of being guileful!

So this is what I realized: you can make giving honest, genuine appreciation harder than it must be. In case you’re superglued to your ethical compass as am I, you most likely as of now circumvent saying thank you and go for a commendation, when it is justified. Furthermore, you would already be able to tell when you’re driving out falsehoods. (I get that obvious inclination in the pit of my stomach.) Instead of overthinking it and giving no applause, let appreciation stream normally and move your emphasis on staying away from using honeyed words in those cumbersome experts and social circumstances. Try not to utilize bootlicking as a bolster.

There can be vast amounts of reasons why you are NOT giving compliments. Possibly the individual already realizes he did a good job. Maybe another person already said so. Perhaps we are apprehensive. There may be an ungainly circumstance because the other individual may not know how to respond to a compliment. It may be the case that we simply didn’t even consider complimenting the other individual; we are too occupied throughout the day carrying out our responsibilities. Perhaps individuals give a compliment only when they are accepting one. I can go on like this. But, you get my point.

Accepting a compliment can for some individuals be ungainly in reality, however, let’s be honest, when getting a compliment, we consider it later and feel cheerful somebody thought of us and did the push to say as much. Each individual has an inward need, perhaps without knowing or willing to concede, for appreciation. On the off chance that you put diligent work and exertion into something and you don’t get any acknowledgment for that, it harms. You begin to ask why you are even disturbed. You may feel somewhat furious and baffled by others around you.

You may have seen that the second standard of Dale Carnegie has the words honest and genuine in it. Consider giving a compliment without being honest and true. You may have said nothing by any means! When accepting a compliment, we feel when something is genuine and when something is merely obliging. How might we fuel our praise you may ponder? All things considered, that is extremely straightforward. You give the compliment and you back it up with proof.

Give me a chance to give you a model: Devon, you made a magnificent showing a day ago. When hearing this, Devon will most likely hear the compliment; however, do you figure he will feel it, he will accept the words? I think we can do this better.

How about we attempt once more? Devon, you made an impressive showing yesterday. You took care of that circumstance with the customer by helping to offer guidance, and as a result, he consented to your suggestion. Well done.

CHAPTER 3 - AROUSE IN THE OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT

The third rule Dale Carnegie discusses builds up the inclination in another individual to need something aligned with your needs. The best way to impact other individuals is to discuss what they need and tell them the best way to get it. Why consider what we need? You are forever inspired by it. Be that as it may, nobody else is. All of us are much the same as you are: we are keen on what we need.

Activity springs out of what we want on a fundamental level. The best suggestion which can be given to would-be persuaders, regardless of whether in business, in the home, in the school, in governmental issues, is: First, arouse in the other individual an eager need. He who can do this has the entire world with him.

Here is probably the best piece of exhortation at any point given about the artistic work of human connections. If there is anyone mystery of achievement, said Henry Ford, it lies in the capacity to get the other individual’s perspective and see things from that individual’s edge just as from your own.

The world is brimming with individuals who are getting needy and greedy. So the uncommon person who unselfishly attempts to serve others has a gigantic lead. He has little to challenge him. I can share an ongoing model where another alumnus was landing a few positions however, not going along with them or leaving quickly. His family and companions were not happy with his approach. I met this person and discussed what was happening and why he was not joining in on the jobs or why he was leaving them so quickly.

His explanation: The management didn’t value his needs, his abilities, nor his yearnings. They just needed something to be managed without much thought. I could appreciate this youthful person’s idea, so we talked further about what he needs. He had an incredible idea about starting an independent company to utilize his skills. I asked why he didn’t do that. With only a short conversation, he grew certain he could start his very own business and I could see his drive and motivation to do miracles.

To start with, arouse in the other individual an eager need. He who can do this has the entire world with him. Once we center consideration on what WE need to get, our wants, our focal points, we don’t focus on that the others lack. Even if that may sound arrogant, I think about how it pursues the selfishness of individuals. Not in all cases, however, for the most part, we think just about our advantage.

The world is full of selfish individuals. So, the uncommon person unselfishly serving others has tremendous leeway. I haven’t encountered circumstances like that yet. Perhaps they were a major part of my life, yet they were inconsequential or I don’t remember them. Likewise, we ought to remember that we think about our advantage; however, figure out how we can support the opposite side. An arrangement ought to be positive for both parties. I think there will be many circumstances later on, at work, in business, and in other life circumstances, and I trust that I won’t overlook advice and stories from this part.

The best way to convince somebody to do anything is to discuss what they need and demonstrate an approach so they can get it. There is no other way. As basic as that sounds, it is something we ignore constantly. Arouse in someone else an eager need and they will move mountains. Neglect to do this and they won’t move an inch. As Carnegie said, If there is any one mystery of progress, it lies in the capacity to get the other individual’s perspective and see things from that individual’s point just as from your own.

Discussing our issues is an exercise in futility. When we speak with individuals, we should perceive how rapidly we can get the chance to see things from their perspective. This isn’t about control. Every individual needs to pick up from the relationship. Long haul achievement in deals, marriage, organizing and wherever else is about win-win results. Continuously has been, consistently will be.

Dale Carnegie likewise understood that individuals need to practice their freedom to choose and that is the reason he urged readers to arouse in the other individual an eager need. It usually is fun and charming to do things when we need to do them; however, frequently, individuals would prefer not to do what is asked of them. So how would you make somebody need to do the thing you’re asking of them? A couple of contemplations ring a bell.

Understanding the other individual and what they need, trust in, want – what rouses them – is critical. While this appears to be straightforward, how often have you seen individuals attempt to rouse others in manners that would persuade themselves? It’s not about YOU; it’s about them. If making more money is your thing, that is not necessarily another person’s carrot; the equivalent could be said for gaining a title or position.

Not every person needs to be a VP, organization proprietor, lead trainer or some other profoundly noticeable position. For specific individuals that inspiration works well and can be taken advantage of, yet with regards to others, you need to give their motivations closer consideration. What do individuals talk about? What do you see in their office or home? For these individuals the inspiration is a feeling of having a place, realizing they’re making an impact, family, diversions and more.

Now and again, causing something to appear unique, something very few individuals can have or do is what works. This takes advantage of a shortage. Some individuals are inspired to action when they dread missing out. This isn’t new to the human condition. Consider how Twain composed Tom Sawyer in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, He had found an extraordinary law of human activity, without knowing it – specifically, to cause a man or a kid to desire a thing, it is just important to make the thing hard to accomplish. This came about because Tom did not like to paint fences. He persuaded different children to do it when he made it look special and unique. Out of the blue, they all needed to be involved.

When you recognize what that inspiration is, the next stage is to adjust your request towards it in some way or another. This is the idea of consistency, the rule that says individuals are probably going to act in manners that are consistent with what they’ve said or done previously. If someone else perceives how what you’re asking integrates with what’s essential to them at that point, they’re probably going to handle it with more energy and more likely will finish. That is the standard of consistency at work. For instance, numerous children hate homework. However, they may have vocational goals. Tying in how coursework or evaluations may enable them to understand their fantasies will make them somewhat more eager to put in the effort needed to progress.

As experts, we continually sell our thoughts. In any case, individuals agree to help for their very own reasons, not our own. If we clarify how our ideas will profit them, there is no restriction on the participation we could get.

We, as a whole, have our needs and needs. You might feel ravenous or parched and need something to eat or drink. Someone else might feel languid and need to sleep. You might need to improve your relational abilities, which is the reason you are reading this article at this moment!!!

The fact is, as an individual, each of us is keen on what we need, yet tragically, nobody else is. The person who puts the necessities of others ahead of their own has the option to win the hearts of others.

This guideline works in business selling also. Individuals like to purchase items and not feel like they have been sold. To get customers to buy products, we must think about their viewpoint.

To sell better, envision how the item will have will address the issues of the other individual, as opposed to harping heedlessly about the highlights of what you are attempting to sell.

PART 2 - SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

CHAPTER 4 - BECOME GENUINELY INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE

One of the essential abilities Carnegie discusses when dealing with people is to improve acquaintances and improve public activities. He ends up summarizing this as becoming genuinely interested in other people. What’s more, from my involvement in both business and individual life, I have discovered how amazingly supportive and productive this is, too.

The standard here is to focus on the interests of others instead of your own. This will support you. You listen eagerly and energetically. You ask questions. You make eye contact. Notwithstanding the physical or money related resources and the association may have, the people make it useful. They are an association’s key resource, and becoming more acquainted with them ought to be as high a need as learning the specialized parts of your job. The key is to focus. Try not to get notoriety this interest just when you need something. Getting to know other people ought to be valuable in its own right.

I’ve found there is continually something genuinely fascinating about what someone is doing. I should seek after that intrigue I feel, pose more inquiries and proceed with that discussion. It’s exciting for me, and simultaneously manufactures a more noteworthy association and opens up more chances.

Share with this individual – Perhaps a story about a spot you visited, something they may find intriguing. Talk about their goals, leisure activities, interests – there are so many topics you may have in common.

I have heard people say that you can’t