Aging With A Sense Of Humor 2nd Edition: Humor for us who are old and those who want to be old.

By Stephen E. George

This book contains what I've found to be humorous about our aging process. When we were young adults most of us were much too serious to find any humor in being young. Now that we belong to an older demographic, I find a lot of things to be funny about becoming old. This is my collection of humorous conversations, thoughts and observations about becoming "old." Some of its contents were created to add to the humor but most are factual. I put this collection of humor into alphabetical senior topics. This book is meant to entertain us older readers or seniors, if you will. Reading this book will entertain you, make you laugh and find some humor in our aging process. We're all in this together.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Mar 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098307950

Book preview

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© 2020 Stephen E. George

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

ISBN: 978-1-09-830795-0

Table of Contents

Introduction

Appearance:

Becoming cynical:

Celebrities:

Cell phones:

Competitive earnings and services:

Congratulations:

Cooking:

Decorating on A Budget:

Diet

Drugs:

Economic advantages of being a senior:

Embarrassing moments:

Fashion:

Forgetfulness:

Gifts:

Global Warming:

Golf:

Government:

Grandkids:

Hearing:

Holidays:

Humorless Neighbors:

Illnesses:

Immigration reform by combining countries:

Legal terminology:

Life is like a Series of traffic lights:

Living In Arizona:

Music:

Names:

News:

Occupational titles:

Olympics:

Our Nation’s Enemies

Parties:

Politics:

Positive ways of looking at aging:

Projects:

Retirement:

Room of the future:

Scale for sports:

Scary Things:

Selling your house for retirement:

Social Distancing:

Sports cars:

Stuff:

The Bright Side:

Travel:

Using old age as a cover-up:

Volunteer work:

Warranties:

Washington State living:

Waxing Your Car:

You know you’re a bored senior when…

You know you’re getting old when…

Introduction

When we were young, many of us were annoying to the older generation. It’s ironic to think now that we’re older, we have become annoying to the some of the younger generation. This book is what I’ve found to be humorous about becoming old. When I was a young adult, I was much too serious to find any humor in being young. Now that I belong to the older demographic, I’ve found a lot of things to be funny about becoming old. This is my collection of humorous conversations, thoughts, and observations about aging. Some of its contents were created but most are factual. I put this collection of humor into alphabetical topics and not in order of importance or level of humor. This book is meant to entertain us older readers or seniors, if you will. We know there are more than enough movies, television programs and books written and marketed for younger adults. I hope reading this book will entertain you, make you laugh and find some humor in our aging process. We’re all in this together.

Appearance:

Strictly because of my loss of hair, I’ve been looking for a new hairdo to better disguise my dome. Kim Jung Un certainly has an interesting style haircut. Trying not to be judgmental about anyone’s style or fashion…I just find Kim Un’s to be very curious. I’m sure there are some women in his community that consider it charming or maybe attractive, at some level. Maybe they think he looks cute. Maybe that’s why Mr. Un has it styled the way he does. So, being naturally curious about its potential effect on senior women in my community, I went to my barber and asked for an Un-haircut. My barber looked confused for a moment, then replied, In other words, you DON’T want a haircut? I then insisted that I did want a haircut but wanted an Un style haircut. I think my barber gets frustrated easily. He became more upset while repeatedly asking me How is it possible to un-haircut someone? How can I undo a haircut I didn’t do? I tried to explain to him that an Un style haircut must be one of the easiest haircuts to give.  I tried to draw a picture of what an Un-haircut looks like. It didn’t work. My drawing looked more like a bad sketch of Moe from the Three Stooges. Finally, I was able to calm my barber down and told him I would find a photo of an Un-haircut from a news clipping, and would show it to him the next time I go back. Now I’m thinking, maybe my bald area isn’t THAT bad after all.

These days, I have to wear so much sunblock when I go outdoors, I look like a wax image of myself.

You’ve probably heard the saying that pet owners eventually start to look like their pets. You’ve probably also heard that our nose and ears never stop growing. So, by the time you’re considered a senior, you notice the changes in your physical appearance from aging. One of the noticeable changes in my appearance, is that the hair at the end of my eyebrows are thinning out. Now days, all that is left growing, are two small areas of eyebrow just above each eye. Almost the same amount of eyebrow hair that resembles my little Dachshund’s eyebrows. So, between the ears and nose that never stops growing, and what’s left of my eyebrows, I think I’m slowly mutating into my dog.

    Standing in the checkout line at my local Safeway store, I heard the voice of a little boy asking his father Look Daddy, that man has cotton in his ears. Why does he have cotton in his ears? I heard a quiet Shh…, from his dad. I turned around and noticed both of them quickly looked away from me. Then I realized it was the hair in my ears that held the little boy’s attention. That darn funny looking long white hair growing out of my ear canals. It is enough white hair to look like cotton to a little boy and probably to everyone else. Wonderful! I thought to myself. That’s just where I wanted more hair to grow. Why not hair that grows wild and out of control from the bald areas on the top of my head? This is the very same reason why I am self-conscious about taking my shirt off in public these days. There’s more hair growing from my back than on the top of my head where I want it. I don’t mind not