Loving a Soulless Thug

By Jushelle Smiter

Freddie is a good guy who is trying to change his life. He is slowly transitioning his way out of the drug game and going completely legit. He is getting ready to marry the woman of his dreams. The only thing with that is, he is hiding a big secret from his fiancée. And he will soon learn that what goes on in the dark soon comes to light.

Danny is in a world of her own. She just graduated with her master’s in nursing and soon she will be married to the greatest man on earth, or so she thought. When she finds out about the secret that her fiancé has been hiding, she is completely devastated and calls off the wedding.

They both try to cope with the loss of their relationship with help from their friends. But when unknown enemies start to attack them, a close friend is secretly working with the enemy, and with a mother-in-law and baby mama from hell, it looks like the bond that they have will be forever broken.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Royalty Publishing House
• Release date: Jan 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781648401763

Book preview

Chapter One

Danny Ty’aisha Waters

Whose baby is this? I screamed over the loud ass music blasting from the Bose Home 300 smart speaker, playing Changing Faces’ song Stroke You Up. That used to be one of my favorite jams back in the day, but hell, not no fucking more. I looked all around the large masculine bedroom and just like downstairs, it was decorated for a bachelor party. Whomever decorated it did one hell of a job, if I must say so myself. A very good job.

The music was so loud I figured they must have not heard me. So, I politely walked my ass over to the black Alexee nightstand and paused the music. The baby grabbed on tighter to my neck because I had to lean over a little to reach the rose gold iPhone 10. Which caused me to look down into his handsome face once again. Asking the question of whose baby he was, was unnecessary because he was a clone of his father. His father’s identical twin, from his caramel skin tone, his brownish, soft, curly hair, his big, dark-brown bedroom eyes, his Dumbo ears, to his lips with a black, smooth mole on the bottom one, to his round chin with a small dimple in the middle of it.

It was like his mother was simply a vessel for the baby to enter this cruel world. Hell, a DNA test wasn’t even necessary. The test would even be like, Come on bro! Even though this was my first time seeing the baby, he had been attached to me since I walked into the house. He was downstairs crying his little heart out, and it’s no wonder why his parents couldn’t hear him. As I said, the music was loud as hell! He was wet and hungry. Being the woman that I was, I changed his pissy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pull-Up and fed him some of the food that was on the stainless steel stove top. A meal fit for a king. After cleaning him up and feeding him, I tried sitting him down on the couch. He wouldn’t let me put him down. After studying each other for a few more minutes, the baby started looking around the room and I tore my eyes from his face, and I asked the question again, even though in my heart I already knew the answer.

Whose baby is this?

Shit, I could hear and feel the pain that I had in my voice. The baby must have heard it as well because his head swiftly turned towards me and he had a look of concern on his face for him to be only about two years old. His big eyes bounced all around my face in wonder. The smut-bucket must have heard the pain as well because her dumb ass was still on her knees with the dude’s flaccid dick still in her mouth with joy apparent in her eyes. Like she was happy to be a witness to my pain. She had no shame nor any type of respect for herself and, I was assuming, her child. He appeared to be about two years old and he couldn’t exactly see or understand what his trifling ass mama was actually doing, but a real mother would have immediately stopped what they were doing once their child entered the room.

I guess the heffa could read minds because she stood up, but not before looking at the limp dick with lustful eyes, still in her nasty ass face. She peeked around dude with a goofy ass smirk on her face that I wanted to carve off her face like a pumpkin during Halloween. In that instant, I was immediately filled with rage, once realization came crashing into me like a violent wave crash into the shore during a nasty storm, that I was sent here at this particular time and on this particular night on fucking purpose. That BITCH! I was so heated that my whole body from head to toe was heated. She sent me here on a gotdamn dummy mission. But that’s ok, I got something for her bitter ass. I know she did this shit on fucking purpose.

I should have known his mother wasn’t going to just let us be happy. Pretending all of this time to be happy for us after all. Since we were finally going to be a family. Smh at myself because I knew not to trust that Bitch! But unfortunate I did because of the love I had for her bitch ass son. And again, the baby must have felt what I have been feeling because he looked up at me again with a look of concern. If that was even possible. He was a very smart little boy. He studied my face and then smiled at me. A smile that I was so used to seeing every day. A smile that made me even angrier that I wanted to fling this little boy out of the closed Champion picture window. And then throw sulfuric acid on both of his parents and stabbed them to death with a rusty ass knife!

Never let them see you sweat baby! Popped into my head so fast I had to close my eyes for a second. Those were my mother’s words to me and my two best friends when we used to get into fights with neighborhood bullies or girls just jealous of us. Once again, the baby must have felt what I was feeling because he started to whimper a little with a look of fear spreading across his face so quick like a fire in California. Seeing the fear on his face made me feel bad instantly. No matter how low down and dirty his parents are and no matter how he came into this world, it had nothing to do with him. He didn’t ask to be here nor ask for the fucked-up parents that God gave him.

Taking that into consideration and my mother’s sound advice, I took a deep breath and exhaled and mustered up the strength to pull myself together and get the answers to a question that I really already knew the answer to. I smile genuinely at the handsome little boy. And the fear was immediately wiped off of his face. Then he did something that made me feel even worse for my thoughts just seconds ago. He put his little hands on my face and then gave me an open-mouth, wet kiss. A kiss only babies gave. And that made my smile grow even wider. I realized he was innocent in all of this and he was as sweet as he could be. Under any other circumstances I would have been happy to have him around. But this sneaky bastard didn’t even give me that option.

It felt like we were at a standstill for hours when in actuality it had only been 15 minutes. And I was about to knock that goofy ass smirk off the smut-bucket’s face with this Oscar-nominated performance I was about to put on. I started playing with the baby as if I had known about him all along and just like I wanted it to, the dumb bitch’s smirk was replaced with a look of confusion. See, she thought that I was going to mistreat the baby or show her how hurt I truly was. But I wouldn’t dare give that bitch that much satisfaction. Dude finally turned his dumb ass around but couldn’t look me in my face. His eyes immediately went towards this little boy that I had on my hip. If I wasn’t mistaken, it looked like this motherfucka wanted to smile at the scene he was watching. But my raised eyebrows were like, motherfucka I wish you would smile at this, and put an instant stop to that shit. Nawl my nigga, this ain’t that!

Ahem! Ahem! I cleared my throat to get this motherfucka’s attention. With fear in his eyes, eyes that mirrored this little boy’s eyes I was holding, he looked at me silently pleading for my forgiveness. He didn’t want to verbally answer my question. I could tell by how long it was taking him to open his mouth.

Although I told myself to play nice and don’t give this bitch the reaction she wanted, if this bitch ass nigga didn’t open his got damn mouth, they both were going to see a side of me that I thought I buried a long ass time ago.

So, whose fucking baby is this? I asked the man who was supposed to become my husband tomorrow, as calmly as I possibly could. Yet with as much venom as I possibly could, letting him know that I was not going to keep asking his ass the same fucking question over and over. From the tone of my voice and from the look I was giving him, he knew that I was not fucking around with them no fucking more.

I ignored the shit out of the smut-bucket ass bitch and gave my fake ass fiancé my attention. He told me long ago that he that it wasn’t that serious between them. Evidently, he lied for me to be holding his mini-me on my hip. I patiently waited for his response. His punk ass just stood there for a few long seconds without saying shit, looking good in the stone-wash Levi jeans with the powder-blue Levi t-shirt to match and on his feet, he wore the powder-blue and white retro Jordan 13. An outfit that I bought to match mine. We were twinning it for his bachelor party and my bridal shower. A party his lousy ass friends were supposed to be giving him that was fake as hell. What neither of them knew was that we, me and my friends, knew they had their funky ass bachelor party already last week. But we didn’t care, hell, we paid for the strippers and paid them extra to give Freddie special attention.

I guess that must have pissed the smut-bucket off because she slightly pushed his arm to get him to talking. But he just angrily glared at her, breathing in deeply before he looked at me and crushed my entire world.

He’s mine, my future husband-to-be said barely above a whisper. If I hadn’t been looking him in his face and reading his lips, I wouldn’t have heard this fuck nigga. Silence quickly filled the room again. I was at a loss for words. I just couldn’t believe it.

I stood there and looked over my handsome fiancé’s face. He stood six feet even, weighing about 230 pounds of solid muscles. Not too much and not too little muscles though. He had a few tattoos that graced his body, including one with my name on the left side of his chest over his heart. My baby put me in the mind of a caramel Louis Allen, the male model, including his beautiful, big, hazel eyes, but of course, I thought my baby looked a little bit better. His looks weren’t shit to me at this very moment. The pain that I felt traveled from the top of my head, grabbing ahold of my heart, squeezing the shit out of it, then a shooting pain pierced my ass! Yes, I was not exaggerating either. I guess this was what women in labor felt like when they said the pain shot them in the ass. The pain continued on down to my toes. But with the strength that matched that of 10 Incredible Hulks put together, I pushed that pain to the side. I grinded my back teeth so hard I tasted the blood from it.

Putting on my Oscar-winning performance, I continued. What is his name? was my next question. Which made him roll his eyes like a mad bitch. As if he had the right to be mad about anything. Hell, we had just discussed names for our future kids while pigging out late at night after having one of our most fulfilling sex sessions ever. I was low-key getting aroused just thinking about it. Then remembered why I was here.

He didn’t want to answer at first. Man! was what he said, then he put his head down in shame, shaking it in the no motion, as if he couldn’t believe this was happening to him. Shit, the feeling was definitely mutual. Freddie the third, he said after a few minutes of silence, knowing very well how badly he fucked up.

His confession filled the smut-bucket up with so much joy that hell, I forgot that I wanted to murder them for a second. Her big smile spread across her face as fast a rip did when a lady wore a tight-fitting dress and bent over, forgetting that it’s not just tight but too damn small for her size. But I was about to knock that ugly motherfucka right off her ugly ass face. Well, she really wasn’t ugly at all. In fact, she was absolutely gorgeous. She looked like she could be a stand-in for the actress Alexis Field, Kim Fields’ baby sister. But hell, she still didn’t have shit on me.

I wad 5’6, caramel complexion, cornbread-fed thick, and all natural with curves for days. My mother blessed me with this perfect body and beautiful face. My ass was big, juicy and all natural. It wasn’t that Dr. Miami big either. It was just right. My breasts were only a perky size B-cup that sat up nicely and looked good in any top I wore. Some said that I was a dead ringer for Miracle Watts. Hell, I didn’t see it. I thought I looked like me. But hey, some say we all have a twin in this world.

Boy, as long as it took for us to find a ring bearer! And your ass had a son that could have did it for us all this motherfuckin’ time! He can still do it. Since he is your son and it is last minute, I think he deserves to be a part of our special day!

That statement knocked the goofy ass smile right off her dirty ass face. The motherfucking response I was shooting for. They both looked at me like I was crazy and like they were confused. And they should be because I voiced it with so much sincerity and genuineness that you couldn’t do anything but believe I was for real. I was really contemplating on going through with the wedding to spite his nothing ass mammy though! That bitch was going to make me slap the entire salivary glands out of her horse-mouth ass!

You still gonna go through with the wedding! the smut-bucket had the audacity to ask me, with shock and a little pain in her tone. Now two wrongs don’t make a right, but my goodness was I enjoying her reaction to my statement. His too, because he sighed a big sigh of relief. Now he was a little more relaxed. And he looked really happy to hear me say that.

Looking her straight in the eyes and with the biggest smile on my face, I told her ass, Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I? Especially with all of the money we spent on this wedding and the planning we have done. Heck yeah, I am definitely getting married tomorrow. Hmmm, what size does he wear so that we can run a get him a tuxedo from the mall before the wedding?

I snatched my attention away from them and started back playing with the baby, who I now knew as baby Freddie. That was it! Hearing that pissed her off and she took quick steps towards me and snatched the baby out of my arms. Which in turn pissed off Freddie. A scowl graced his handsome face.

Don’t fucking snatch on him like that. Da fuck is wrong with you?! he yelled in her face, making the baby jump in fear. Freddie immediately started rubbing his back, knowing exactly how to calm him down, proving that he had bonded with Freddie Jr. way before now but never said a motherfucking word to me about having a son.

He saw how I was looking at his no-good ass and started to explain himself. But it was pretty self-explanatory to me. Nonetheless, I cut his ass off. We will discuss this when we come back from our honeymoon! Well, I hope I get to see the baby at our wedding tomorrow. And you have nothing to worry about. I will treat your son as if he is my son, I said to the smut-bucket. If this was a perfect world and had he come to me before now, I definitely would have welcomed him into our home. Marrying him meant marrying his child. So, I would love him and treat him as if he was my own.

Being the bitter bitch that she was, she frowned her face up like she smelled some shit or something and yelled at me, Bitch, my fucking son won’t be nowhere near that stupid ass wedding! Her statement prompted me to nonchalantly shrug my shoulders, and an argument between the two of them ensued. An argument I wanted no parts of. I was going to leave these fuckers to it.

Ahem, well it seems like you two have something important to discuss, and I am extremely late for my bridal shower. So, babe, I will let you handle that and please convince yo’ baby mama to allow the baby to be in the wedding, or at least let your mother bring him with her. And with that I turned around and ran out of the bedroom and raced down the stairs and out the door while pressing the unlock button on my key fob to my black-on-black Q80, a pre-wedding gift from my fiancé. Snatching the driver’s door open and hopping in quickly, I started up the ignition and sped my ass out of his mother’s driveway and away from them. I wanted to get on the road and keep on driving out of Chicago.

His mother stayed in Matteson, Illinois. So, I had a 30-minute drive to the hotel where my bridal shower was taking place. Driving for about 10 minutes, I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I had to pull over because my tears were blinding me. And the lyrics I never knew love would hurt this fucking bad! Worst pain that I ever had! from Trey Songz’s song Heart Attack played over and over in my mind. Clutching my chest, I could literally feel the pain in my heart! My phone started ringing but I ignored it because by the ringtone, Big Sean’s I Don’t Fuck With You, I already knew who in the fuck it was calling me. Only one bitch had that ringtone. Freddie’s mother. I declined the call and then blocked that bitch. Fuck her with 12 dirty, sick dicks. I got something for her ass though. Getting myself together, I wiped my face clean and even put on a little of the make-up that I carried in purse at times. Then I pulled off, preparing to go and enjoy my motherfucking bridal shower if it’s the last thing I did.

Chapter Two

Freddie Hayden O’Conner

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! WHAT DA FUCK MAN! Awww hell nawl man! Those were the thoughts that were running through my mind when I first thought I heard my baby’s soft voice over the loud ass music playing. I was scared stiff. I was frozen into place. I was so still I didn’t blink and I stopped breathing. I went straight into bitch mode. My semi-hard dick quickly deflated like a balloon when you were trying to tie the ends together but you couldn’t grab the ends just right. But I knew the voice I thought I heard couldn’t be right, because why would she be in my mother’s house? She and my mom didn’t get along at all. And I was ashamed to admit it was all because of my mom.

My mom hated my girl with a passion as deep as the passion of love I had for her, if not deeper. For the life of me, my mom would never or could never give me a valid reason why she felt so strongly towards my girl. All my baby had ever done was be respectful towards my mom, even when she was clearly not showing her the same respect in return. And every time I would ask my mom why she didn’t like my girl, Danny, her only response was, it’s just something about that thang I don’t like! And it’s not natural. Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean.

The last time my girl came over to my mom’s house, my parents were having a barbeque and invited all our family and friends. We were all having a good old ass time listening to oldies but goodies. I believe Pattie LaBelle’s song If You Only Knew was blasting through the stereo speakers set up in the back yard. We were laughing, eating, and drinking while some played spades, dominoes, and a card game called tunk. We all were vibing and chilling, just having a good time. There was no family arguing or airing out their dirty laundry. But the devil just couldn’t let us be great.

Here came my mom, fucking everything up as usual! My mom walked over to us where we were playing a game of dominoes. It was me, Jason, Hunter, and Holland. My girl, Danny, was sitting on the side of me, of course enjoying whatever fruity drink that was in her cup. Son, I want you to meet Rebecca. Rebecca, this is my son I was telling you about. Son, I told Rebecca and her mother that you would take her out to the movies or something! We stopped in the middle of what we were doing and just stared at her. My mama must have lost her ever-loving mind. I couldn’t believe she would say some shit like that right in Danny’s face like she wasn’t shit.

Everyone was in complete shock because everybody and their mothers’ mother knew that I was in a relationship with Danny. I was shocked and embarrassed for my baby because my mom came from out of left field with that shit! Now I was gonna be real, Rebecca was pretty as hell. She looked like a skinny ass Alexis Field, Kim Fields’, from the sitcom Living Single, baby sister. I loved my women thick but if my girl wasn’t here, I mean, I probably would fuck. However, she was here and sitting right next to me. My mom really had no regard for my girl’s feelings, clearly, and in no way, shape, or form could I allow my mother to get away with this shit right here. I was getting ready to let my mom have it in the most respectable way I could, without being disrespectful, even though I low-key did want to. But she was my mom and I did love and respect her. But damn, she be doing too fucking much. She had yet to this day told us why she hated my girl so fucking much.

Wow! Mrs. O’Conner, he is really as handsome as you said he is. And those big bedroom eyes, I could look in them all day long! the girl Rebecca let come out of her mouth, interrupting whatever I was about to say to my mom. Now this pissed my girl completely off, shit, me too. If I would have had respect for her she just lost all of it with that statement. I hated thirsty bitches. Or a bitch that thought she got that super pussy. My girl had never in all the years