Loving a Soulless Thug 2: A Southern Love Story

By Jushelle Smiter

After receiving devastating news that the love of his life, along with her mother, died in a fatal car crash, Freddie’s soul dies. After taking loss after loss, he loses touch with reality and just can’t handle the pressure anymore. He does something that he might not be able to come back from.

Jason and Eddie’s relationship has been rocky lately. Jason has become overbearing with his need to protect Eddie from harm. He feels responsible for the death of one friend and partially responsible for the death of another. He vows to protect his family at all cost, even if it puts a rift in their relationship.

Eddie has been keeping secrets from Jason. Something she has never done before. But she didn’t really have a choice with the way things have been between them, at least that’s what she tells herself. She loves Jason but she is just as stubborn as he is. One of them has to be the bigger person. Who will it be when both of her secrets come out?

Michael can’t get over the death of his woman and unborn child and he uses drugs and drinking to cope with the pain. He still can’t seem to outrun his demons no matter what he does, though. He has a debt to pay and who he owes will stop at nothing to get what they want, including ending his life and the lives of his loved ones. He is in over his head and is battling with coming clean to his boys.

Will the bond they had growing up be enough to heal their broken hearts, or is there too much damage to repair?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Royalty Publishing House
• Release date: Jun 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781648404696

Book preview

1

Bobbie Simone Ware

Several weeks earlier

I HATE YOU MY NIGGA! WE DON’T FUCKING NEED YOU! I screamed at Michael’s no-good ass right after I knocked the meat loaf, loaded mashed potatoes, corn, banana pudding, and Pepsi soda out of his hands. Then I gathered up as much saliva as I could and spit right in his fucking face. He had the motherfucking audacity to bring me all of my favorite foods, dessert to eat, and my favorite soda to drink, as if that would make everything that his ass had been doing fucking okay. Like nigga, really? But what really set me off was when he lied and said that he loved me and that he was going to find a way out of this for all of us. Wanting me to understand some bullshit about some tragic shit that happened that he never told me about, nor Freddie or Jason.

What kind of man leaves the woman he claims to love in the hands of his fucking enemies and his side bitch, in an abandoned warehouse full of rodents? I lost all the respect and love I had ever had for him the moment he dropped his head in defeat after Detective Alcantara showed him his phone. And it was at that time that I wished like hell, that I had listened to that little nagging ass voice telling me to turn my want-to-be ISpy ass the fuck around. My mama used to always tell me that curiosity kills the cat. But shittttt! I thought them bitches had nine lives. She also used to tell me that you shall seek and you shall find! And I found more than what the fuck I bargained for.

After staring each other in the eyes for a good minute, his filled up with pain, and mine filled up with disgust. He dropped his head in defeat. He didn’t bother with wiping the spit off of his face either. He only mumbled I do really love you Bobbie Simone Ware. Then he turned around with slumped shoulders and walked his dog ass out the office door, leaving the abandoned building they had been holding me hostage in. He didn’t even empty out the bucket that they had me using as a toilet, like he usually did when he came here. Nor did he put the restraints back on me or lock the door back up. He knew it didn’t matter because of the high-tech security system they had installed.

Every step that he took, seemed to be in slow motion, walking out on me shattering my heart like glass hitting the concrete. I stared after his retreating form with a heavy heart. The mustard seed of hope that I had left diminished completely once he wasn’t visible to me anymore. The hope that he would realize that this was way beyond wrong and get me the fuck up out of here was no more. If that’s his version of love, I could have done without it. Look where the fuck his love had gotten me.

He hadn’t been back here since then. Not even to feed me. The bucket was filled up with my waste and had the office smelling like an out-house. I was sitting on an old ass raggedy couch with all kinds of stains on it, that probably had bed bugs as well. But I guess it beat sitting on that nasty ass floor that the rodents used as their playground. Damn man! What a way to learn a fucking lesson, and that was to always follow your first mind.

I had been staring out of the only window in the office, which was boarded up. It afforded me a little light between the cracks, and that was the only way that I knew when it was day or night. I couldn’t see shit out of it but I let my imagination run wild. I pictured how I would have looked with a big belly, the cravings I would have had. Shit, I was craving some of Danny’s fye ass chicken tacos right now. With a cold ass glass of Pepsi and my favorite snacks, Black Forest gummi bears, cherry, and pineapple Now and Laters. Having my first baby shower. Holding my baby, her first steps and words, to her first ass whooping. Thinking of all those things I knew I was going to be missing out on with my family and friends. I hadn’t seen any of them in weeks. And I knew my mother was going through it, along with the divas and my girls. Tears began to fill up my eyes thinking about them.

Click clack Click clack Click clack

Hearing the sound of stilettos on the hard ass projects-like floors snapped me out of my thoughts and fear gripped me. I instantly put my hand on my stomach and started rubbing it like pregnant women did when they were in their last trimesters. I didn’t know what was about to go down, but I felt like my time on earth was running out. But I knew I was going to fight until my last breath. For me and my daughter.

I took a deep breath and sighed heavily. I already knew who it was that was coming in here. For what reason, I didn’t know. Her Creed Silver Mountain Water perfume was permeating the air. It smelled really good but she had on entirely too much. I shook my head in frustration because I didn’t want to deal with her nor did I have the energy to deal with her. I was getting weak from lack of food and water. No one had brought me anything to eat since I knocked the food out of Mike’s hand.

I no longer heard the click clacking of her heels so I knew she was in or near the room. I peeped her card long ago. She hated to be ignored. She believed that the sun rose and set just for her. The last time that I saw her, she tried hard to let me know who she was. She thought I didn’t recognize her as the woman staring me down at the accident. Like staring the main chick down was in the side bitch’s manual 101. Like fucking with the main chick was going to make the nigga want you more. Side bitches tripped me out thinking they could really steal a whole ass grown man from another woman. Bitch, he wanted to fucking go. Pussy couldn’t make a man stay nor go! So, FUCK that nigga. All the love I had for him, quickly turned to hate as soon as I saw his head drop in defeat. I knew he was about to be on some bullshit. I also knew the man that I was deeply in love with died at that very moment. I wasn’t one of those women who still loved a man after he hurt her tremendously. Fuck that, love didn’t live here anymore. Hell! I lost it on that one-way highway.

Ugghh! Damn girl, you stinky! Bahaa, bahaa, bahaaa! Kendra said and laughed at her own joke. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath while rubbing my flat stomach, I tried my best to keep my wits about myself. But I knew the kind of bitch that she was, it was going to be an act of God to keep me off her ass. I will find the strength from somewhere. Shaking my head, completely ignoring her, I got up and went to use the bucket that Mike left for me to use as a toilet, even though it was almost full. I squatted over it, not wanting to touch it with my ass even if I was dirty, and what that bitch said about me being funky was true. I still never sat all the way down on it even though it was my waste. I handled my business then I stood up and pulled my pants back up. I didn’t have on any panties.

Oh my god. You’s a nasty heffa! this bitch had the nerve to say to me. Probably because I didn’t wipe my ass. No wonder Mikey don’t want yo’ nasty ass no more! she said with delight in her tone. Please God! I said to myself, begging the good Lord for strength. I was trying my hardest to ignore this bitch but she just wouldn’t let me be. Just like the typical side bitch. I usually wouldn’t have paid this bitch no mind if we were on the streets because I didn’t believe in fighting over no nigga. My nigga or not. If I had to fight for him, then we were just not meant to be.

I looked her up and down, still standing by the bucket. The smell was horrendous, making me sick on the stomach. Lucky for me, I didn’t experience morning sickness. Thinking of my baby, I automatically put my hand on my stomach and rubbed it for comfort. Kendra noticed the gesture and looked on with curiosity. Again, looking her up and down, I noticed she was dressed like she was working late night on Madison Street. Now it was my turn to laugh at her.

Bahhaa, bahaaa! I let out a deep laugh from my belly. She had on a red, sheer, mesh body suit without a bra, and her big titties were starting to sag. She was too damn young for that shit. She also had on a black leather mini-skirt and five-inch, black, strappy stilettos.

Looking in her face, I would admit that she was a pretty girl. Her hazel eyes were mesmerizing. But I could read low self-esteem all in them and pain from something traumatic that happened to her. What the fuck you laughing at bitch?! Kendra said to me with attitude in her tone. I laughed at her ass some more. This was not a laughing matter at all, but she was hilarious, trying to show out for me. The angrier she got the funnier she was to me. Laugh all you want BITCH! You won’t be laughing for long. With yo’ ugly ass! she yelled, putting emphasis on bitch, clearly upset. But for what? They were keeping me here against my got damn will. She had no reason to be upset. I just came here to show you the baddest bitch won! Kendra said in amusement. Her attitude changed just that fast, a clear sign that she must be bipolar, on some kind of drugs or something. The bitch was crazy as hell.

Won? Didn’t know that it was a competition! I said to Kendra as she walked closer to me, with a look of confusion on my face and in my tone. I balled my face up as if the smell in the dusty ass room was just now getting to me. I was 25 years old and had NEVER been in competition with any other bitch on this earth. I wasn’t raised like that. My mother taught me at a very young age to always remember I was just as good as, if not better than, the next girl. And what one man didn’t want, another would.

That’s right bitch! My man is taking me on a date! she said snidely, as if she won the lottery, with a dumb ass smirk plastered on her stupid ass face. She was looking down on me like I was beneath her. She really felt like she won something. I usually didn’t entertain stupidity; however, seeing as though I had nothing better to do at the moment, I decided to take the bait. Because I just knew she was not talking about Michael’s no-good ass.

"Girl where YO’ man taking you? The Pink Monkey! Bahha, bahhahah!" I asked her while laughing my ass off. She was standing here looking like a cheap two-dollar hoe that worked on Madison Street. No real man would be seen out in public with her looking like that. Well, that’s what I told myself. My humor must have pissed her off because next thing I knew, she was on her phone and she put it on speaker so that I could hear what whomever she was calling said. She had a stupid ass smirk on her face. Like she knew something that I didn’t.

BITCH! Where da fuck you at? Mike yelled over the phone. Hearing his voice instantly pissed me the fuck off. I knew damn well this nigga wasn’t out here going on dates and shit while I was being held against my will. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. This couldn’t be real right now. Michael Shawn O’Reilly, the man that I was once madly and dangerously in love with, was out living his life. He promised to love and protect me. Man, if someone would have told me that this would have been my life, I would have thrown acid in their face.

Babe! You know I had to get dressed I am on my way. I should be there in 15 minutes, Kendra said, snapping me out of my thoughts. She was looking me dead in my face with a big ass Kool-Aid smile on her dumb ass face. My pain was very entertaining to her. The rage that I felt, along with the pain, was indescribable. I mean, I had never felt this way before. Well, in my defense, I had never had a reason until now. She must have taken him off of speaker because I couldn’t hear his reply. Ok babe, I will be there. Damn, I said ok. She finished her call all happy and shit, then hung up the phone still watching me. What kind of woman would go along with something like this and be happy about it?

She looked at me and smiled, waved bye, and then turned around to walk away from me. That shit angered me even more. She was dressed up like a hooker, going on a date with my nigga, and they were holding me against my fucking will. KENDRA! I yelled her name out, and she stopped but didn’t turn around, like I wasn’t worthy of her time. Before I knew it, I had picked the bucket up with my waste in it and threw that nasty shit all over her. Then I threw the bucket and hit her ass in the back of her fucking head. She started screaming how she was going to fuck me up. Yeah right, bitch. I would love to see that.

YOU DIRTY BITCH! Kendra screamed at me, turning around to face me, trying to shake off the excess waste that was on her. Now I was the one with the smirk on my face. It was quickly wiped away when her brothers walked in the room laughing, joking and shit. They laughed even more when they spotted Kendra. That fear that I felt earlier came crashing into me like a semi-truck running a red light crashing into a small car. Looking at all three of them, I knew today was going to be my last day on earth. Because the lust in Ken Kelly’s and Ken Ken’s eyes brought tears to mine, and I knew that I would have to fight until the death of me. Kenny Moe wasn’t looking at me like that. He had pity and regret in his eyes. But that shit wasn’t helping me. Then he turned and walked back out the door.

Damnnn baby sis. She fucked up for that bullshit! Ken Ken’s dumb ass said, looking Kendra up and down the same way he was looking at me, with lust in his eyes. Hell, he didn’t even care that she was covered in human waste. Ughh, that was his fucking sister. I learned their names from them talking to each other whenever they called themselves watching over me while Mike’s ass was gone to get me something to eat. He wasn’t usually gone long so they really never said too much. But I guess since he hadn’t been here in a while, they must have thought that I was fair game now.

Yes sis! You can go. We gonna make her pay for that shit! Ken Kelly said in a tone that sent chills down my spine. He was the one I was most afraid of. He was a very handsome man, they all were. Looking like Dave East’s twin brother. The devil was said to be handsome as well. Ken Kelly was the oldest and the meanest. He was psychotic and he had no regard for human life. Shit, he probably had none for his own life. You could literally smell the evil that came out of his pores. You could also see the evil in his pretty hazel-brownish eyes.

I tried to remain calm and show no signs of weakness. But as the seconds slowly ticked by along with my life, the bravado that I was trying to possess was dwindling. I instinctively put my hand on my stomach and thought to myself, you are the worst mother of all. Didn’t give your baby a fighting chance running behind some nigga! With those thoughts running through my mind, I broke down crying. And I did what any mother in my situation would have done. Kendra please, please don’t leave me. I am begging you. I am pregnant! I cried out to my enemy, feeling lower than low. Crying hysterically now, I didn’t care how I looked. I wanted to give my child any chance that I could for her survival.

Kendra and I locked eyes and for a moment, I saw regret and shame. And for a second I thought she was going to be on my side. She inhaled a huge breath and leaned over a little shaking her head, like a dog did when it was wet, trying to get some of the waste out of her hair. She even blinked a few times, stopping tears from forming in her eyes. She then looked at Ken Kelly and he gave her a small but noticeable head nod. And I knew then that, that mustard seed of hope I thought was long gone was really gone in this moment. She looked at me one last time and gave me a pitiful gaze then turned around and left out of the door. She never looked back, just like Kenny Moe and Michael. She left me with the worst of the worst.

Shitttt! I hope you didn’t think yo’ little announcement was going to stop the inevitable. I’ve wanted that pussy since the first time I saw your pretty ass! Ken Kelly said to me with that scary ass voice of his. I looked between the two of them and just swallowed the words I really wanted to say. I had to save my strength. I was already at a couple of disadvantages. One, I was weak from not eating or drinking while pregnant. Two, it was two of them, and these were some big ass niggas.

I know that’s right bro. Pregnant pussy is the best pussy. That shit gets so fucking wet my nigga! Ken Ken’s ole follow the leader ass said like he was a fat girl at an all you can eat buffet, while they were stalking over to me like they were starving lions and I was a juicy ass antelope. I slowly backed up, preparing myself for a life and death fight with my life flashing before my eyes. And I used to think that statement was some bullshit, but I learned the hard way that it was true.

They both pounced on me, getting tired of the cat and mouse game they had been playing with me. Ken Kelly pecked me right in the face like I was a man that owed his ass a large sum of money. It was so painful that I couldn’t help but cry out. That hit knocked the wind out of me and made me want to give up off just that one hit. But my motherly instincts told me to fight. So, my fight or flight instincts kicked up a notch or two. I fought for my mother. I fought for my unborn daughter, baby BJ. I fought for my girls, Danny, and Eddie. And I fought for myself.

I fought until I couldn’t fight anymore which it wasn’t much of fight anyway. But I fought until Ken Kelly stuck his enormous dick in my dry ass pussy, and the pain that I felt was impalpable. GOT DAMN GIRL! THIS PUSSY IS FUCKING A-1. No wonder that nigga Mike was fighting for you girl, shiiit. I’m about to bust already, he whispered in my ear with his large hand squeezing my throat, as Ken Ken slammed his dick in my dry and untouched asshole, and at that point, my soul and spirit died at the same time. I was just waiting for my brain to deliver the message to the rest of my body as they both took turns on me unmercifully. Not even caring that my pussy was dry as the Sahara Desert.

I didn’t know how long it had been since