Your Life Shoes: A Pathway to Living a Badass Life

By Mary McMichael

YOUR LIFE SHOES is thought provoking, fun, fascinating, and a thoughtful look into the life lessons of Mary McMichael. her stories are sure to have you laughing, crying, and wondering what you can do to live your own Badass life! Have you ever experienced a cheating spouse, the pain and emptiness left by the death of a parent, pet, sibling or best friend, the painful lesson of a mistake, feeling the unconditional love of a dog or pet, reading a book that literally changed your life, feeling lost, alone, or even suicidal, struggling with depression, anxiety, body image, addiction, or an abusive relationship, feeling the presence of a deceased loved one, or struggling to find and just be the real YOU? In YOUR LIFE SHOES, Mary has shared her own personal life lesson's she's learned and gives you creative guidance and exercises to apply those lessons to your own lives. Her stories will make you laugh, amuse you, bring you to tears, leave you in wonder, open your mind, give you hope, encourage you and leave you wanting more. Life IS about the Journey, make yours a great one! Don't be afraid- be fearless with everything, be you and be happy! This book will help you achieve all that and more!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jul 8, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543977943

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Your Life Shoes: Walking Through Lessons Learned and Coming Back Stronger Than Ever

Copyright © 2019 by Mary McMichael. All rights reserved.

Published by:

Aviva Publishing

Lake Placid, NY, USA

[phone]

www.AvivaPubs.com

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the expressed written permission of the author. Address all inquiries to:

Mary McMichael

Email: [e-mail]

Website: www.Yourlifeshoes.com

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/YourLifeShoes/

Patrick Snow-Publishing Coach

[phone]

[e-mail]

www.thepublishingdoctor.com

ISBN: 978-1-947937-95-6

eISBN: 978-1-543977-94-3

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019902229

Editors: Larry Alexander and Tyler Tichelaar, Superior Book Productions

Cover Designer: Mary McMichael

Interior Book Designer: Nicole Gabriel, Angel Dog Productions

Author and Cover Photos: Nita McGrew Photography, www.faireunvoeu.com

Every attempt has been made to source properly all quotes.

Printed in the United States of America

No one is you and that is your power.

— David Grohl, American Musician/Singer Nirvana

To my Chucky,

I have waited my whole life for you. You are my soulmate, the perfect complement to me. Thank you for all your love and encouragement. You complete me, and I love this ride we are on!

To my Family, Friends, and Fur Babies,

Thank you for all your love and support. Our journeys together made this book possible.

To Wiley, my Boston Terrier Rescue,

For the last ten years through my journey of self-discovery, you rode shotgun with me. Thank you for your presence, trust, unconditional love, snuggles, and all your wet kisses. You gave me purpose when I had none. I will always be grateful for you. Fly now, my little prince. Your work on Earth is complete!

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

No one can write a book without the love, help, and support of numerous people, so I wish to thank:

Larry Alexander, Lori Bass, Keran Bella, Billy Blinn, Bobby Blinn, Emma Blinn, Gary Blinn, Justin Blinn, Nancy Blinn, Debbie Bramwell, Buddy, Sandy Butler, Rhonda Byrne, Debbie Campbell, Johnette Cook, Cathy Cremeans, Dave & Ellen Cunradi, Dede Dlabaja, Susan Friedmann, Nicole Gabriel, Dr. Cynthia Garcia, Pam Gerwich, Shawna Gibson, Donna Green, Phillip Hamilton, Christal Higgins, Miguel Hughes, Christina Imbronone, Dr. Malea Jensen, Louise Jensen, Mary Ellen Jerumbo, Heather Jones, Glenda King, Sharon Kocsis, Eileen Linnett, Tara Logan, Jenny Lynn, Nita McGrew, Chuck McMichael, The McMichael Clan, Tracey Mellenthin, Joe Mesa, Eddy Midyett, Sherridan Miesch-Miller, Jill Mills, Mom & Dad, Jeff Morris, Rainey, Rich & Ryan, Dr. Keith Rose, Jill Sanbach, Scott Selasky, Karen & Rodney Serpa, Autumn Shields, Darron Slover, Pastor Fred, Patrick Snow, Melody Spetko, Tara Stone, Becca Swanson, Stella Tedesco, Barbara Thibault, Tyler Tichelaar, Dr. Tim Vanfrank, Tahra White, Wiley Coyote, Stacy Winsett, and Carlene Wiser.

I would also like to thank everyone and anyone who has crossed my path through the years. We are all put into each other’s lives for some small to huge reason. It is only in looking back that we see that truth. Nothing happens by chance. The reality is, we are all just walking each other home again.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1 WEARING YOUR LIFE SHOES

CHAPTER 2 BELIEVING IN THE POWER

CHAPTER 3 BELIEVING IN THE UNKNOWN

CHAPTER 4 MUST LOVE DOGS

CHAPTER 5 THE BLESSING OF A MISTAKE

CHAPTER 6 THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER 7 MY STRUGGLES

CHAPTER 8 LEARNING THROUGH PAIN

CHAPTER 9 ENRICHING YOUR LIFE

CHAPTER 10 FOR THE LOVE OF MUSIC

CHAPTER 11 GROWING UP IN THE SUNSHINE

CHAPTER 12 RIDING MOTORCYCLES

CHAPTER 13 LIVE YOUR RELIGION

CHAPTER 14 A NEW LOVE

A FINAL NOTE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

BOOK MARY MCMICHAEL TO SPEAK AT YOUR NEXT EVENT

It’s not the Destination. It’s the Journey.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet and Philosopher

CHAPTER 1

WEARING YOUR LIFE SHOES

Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she can conquer the world.

— Marilyn Monroe, American Actress, Model, Singer

Shoes—almost everyone wears them. Not everyone loves them. I love shoes, and I also love people. I love the variety of both I find in this wonderful world in which we live! Shoes, people, and experiences are similar in so many ways. Each has a purpose in our lives, each has a beauty in its own unique fashion, and each can cause us pain or provide comfort. Our life lessons are the shoes we live in. Just like the shoes complete the outfit, our life lessons complete our lives and make our journeys more fulfilling. Life gives us all a story to tell and share with others. By divine plan, we meet, share our life lessons, and help one another make our own paths. Life is about the Journey. Make it a great one!

SELECTING YOUR SHOES

I just got paid, and I find myself at the mall. As I stroll among the shops, I peek in all the windows. What can I buy today? Then something catches my eyes. I see the shoes. I walk a little closer to get a better look through the store window. Their color is vivid, the heels and straps are sexy, and I think they are unusual, unique even, just like me. I go into the store to get a closer look. I really don’t pay much attention to the price—I can’t help myself. I pick them up. I love everything about them. I am ready for the next step, so I ask the clerk for my size, knowing they probably don’t have a pair to fit my big feet!

Today, I am in luck. The clerk says she will bring them right out. I am thinking of all the places I can wear them, and clothes I have that will go with them, or maybe I will have to buy a new outfit just for these amazing new shoes? I don’t care because I will accommodate them either way. The clerk brings me the box, and I quickly open it. The virgin paper has not been touched by anyone. I slowly open the paper and see the shoes are even better than I first thought. I am the first person to try the shoes on.

Fearing they won’t fit, I slip them on. So far, they feel good, but then I take a couple of steps toward the floor mirror. There is that one spot on the side of my baby toe that could be an issue. I ignore it, and instead, admire the shoes in the floor mirror. They are so hot! I take a couple of steps toward and away from the mirror, gauging the discomfort (pain) in my baby toe. I turn my foot from side to side; my feet have never looked so good! I buy the shoes.

When I get these shoes home, I may or may not wear them. Maybe I wait for the perfect opportunity. Maybe I wear them, but they hurt my feet more than I remembered that first time I tried them on. Although they may hurt my feet, I will keep them around. They look so good and make me feel so sexy. They make me happy until they hurt my feet, but I can sacrifice comfort for fashion’s sake.

Then one day, I find a pair of shoes that are perfect for my feet in every way. They look good, they feel good, they make me happy, and they bring me much joy. I wear them every day, until I wear them out—or I’m lucky enough to find another pair of them to purchase. Just like with people or experiences, with every pair of shoes we buy, we are hoping for that perfect shoe, but such shoes are rare and elusive. Some shoes we know just by looking at them will hurt our feet, yet we keep buying them. I put all those new shoes in the back of my closet with all the other sexy shoes I have purchased over the years. I can’t get rid of any of them because I may need that color, heel height, or style for some occasion I am not aware of yet. These shoes sit in my closet patiently filling up space, waiting for their next opportunity to be worn, loved, and admired.

People are like shoes. We wander through our lives just looking around, and people catch our attention. We like the way some look, the way they sound, and the way they present themselves. We explore them a little further in conversation and we become intrigued. We like them and decide to invest in them. We spend more time with them and build relationships with them. As we spend more time with them, we begin to notice their idiosyncrasies, the ones that hurt our feet. We keep them around anyway, because they look good, make us look good, or make us feel good.

Some people hurt our feet more than others, but we keep them all around for whatever the reason. Just like searching for the perfect shoe, we search, hope, and pray we will find the person who fits us perfectly. We look for that one person who doesn’t hurt our feet and whom we want to wear every day. We search for the one person who is the perfect fit for us, and whom we can have for the rest of our lives. Such people may be rare and elusive, but they are out there. Hopefully, you will be lucky enough to find one of them, but not everyone does.

Our life experiences are also like shoes. We each experience a plethora of emotions, situations, and life lessons which also fit us like shoes. Some hurt us, some make us happy, and some hit us with such force that we can’t wait to take those shoes off.

Many people keep choosing people who hurt their feet. They know just by looking at them that there will be pain. They may even try them on and feel pain, but they choose them anyway because they have come to expect and accept pain. They don’t realize, either through ignorance, denial, or inexperience, that there are comfortable people out there who do not hurt your feet. Those are the people we are searching for. There are people out there who truly fit us perfectly, but we begin to lose hope in finding that perfect fit. Without that hope, they settle for the people who hurt their feet. After years of selecting the wrong people, they are left to gauge those people by how uncomfortable (painful) they are and wear them accordingly. Regardless, we keep our closet full of them. Some people we pull out of the closet every now and then, some we wear every day, some hurt our feet a little, and some hurt our feet a lot. Hopefully, every now and then, we can clean out our closets and make room for more comfortable shoes. We can get rid of the tight, uncomfortable, painful shoes and select some that fit better.

Just like collecting many different varieties, styles, and colors of shoes is important, choosing a diverse group of friends is important. I once heard, People make our lives worth living. I believe that is true. I also believe that people with diverse backgrounds and lifestyles we choose to spend time with will greatly enrich our lives. These chosen people will influence our thoughts, beliefs, hobbies, and experiences. We shouldn’t settle for people exactly like us. We shouldn’t choose them because we are comfortable with the way they look. Just like we should not judge a pair of pumps by their shine, we need to look past the surface, try on lots of people—give them a chance. We are living in a world that judges people by their shine. Withholding judgment can be challenging, but try not to judge people by the way they look, their religion, job, or status, and keep an open mind.

I have always loved people who are different. I love the ones who stand out in a crowd and challenge social norms. I love the freaks, the eccentrics, the musical ones, the artistic ones, the personable and humorous people, the free thinkers, and the open-minded, caring people. I don’t really care if they are cordovan or faux leather; they just have to have a good sole (or soul, since, you know, we’re really talking about people). I have found that people with good souls have enriched my life. They have made me a better person. I am glad I took a chance on them, tried them on, and walked with them a while.

It can be so easy to exclude people because of our own fears. We fear others will judge us by the people we hang around. I have learned that people who judge will almost always judge. They do it because of their own insecurities and fears. I have learned not to let them influence my decisions on whom I like, what I like, where I go, and what I do. After all, it is my life and not theirs. They can choose for themselves, for their own lives. Does it really matter what they think? Succumbing to their influence cheats us out of experiences and keeps us from the very people who can enrich our lives. Allowing others’ judgments to affect our friendships limits our happiness and can make us miserable. Choose for yourself, and welcome diversity in those choices—after all, variety is the spice of life.

EXERCISE

We can learn a lot about ourselves by answering simple questions and writing the answers down. In a single word and in order of priority, list six things you look for when buying a new pair of shoes. Under each of those answers, in a single word and in order of priority, list six things you look for when encountering potential new friends. Do you see any parallels?

1. Shoes

People

2. Shoes

People

3. Shoes

People

4. Shoes

People

5. Shoes

People

6. Shoes

People

List five things you might judge about people before you have even spoken to them:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Review your answers and commit to removing them from your next opportunity to interact with a new person.

LESSONS LEARNED

In this chapter, we explored the similarities between choosing shoes and choosing the people in our lives. Both have ways of enriching our lives, but both can hurt us or make us happy—sometimes both. Always remember we have a choice. From a positive perspective, by giving up those shoes that hurt our feet and the people who hurt us, we may end up finding the perfect fit. We can also choose not to judge shoes by their shine or people by their appearance, and take a chance on a unique pair of toe shoes or someone who looks very different from ourselves. We should ask ourselves, Do they have a good sole (or soul) or enough padding on the inside (kindness) to give us comfort, a lasting friendship, and love?

•Not all shoes hurt our feet.

•Not all people hurt our hearts.

•Try on the shoe.

•You get what you pay for.

•It’s okay to clean out your collection of shoes/people every now and then.

•Comfort can come from the most unexpected places.

If you are always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you can be.

— Maya Angelou, American Poet, Singer, Activist

CHAPTER 2

BELIEVING IN THE POWER

Your happiness depends upon your very own thoughts. No one else can think your thoughts for you. Deliberately think thoughts of what you want because they’re the thoughts that make you happy.

— Rhonda Byrne, author of The Power

The Running Shoe—a shoe that is built for speed, stamina, support, and great accomplishments. The midsole is the cushioning and stability layer between the upper and the outsole. They are mostly made of artificial materials that are breathable and flexible. This shoe is the foundation of every great runner. Since we are all running our own life race, this is the shoe of choice. When we add believing in the power, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.

Have you ever read a book that moved you so profoundly it changed your life? On rare occasions, you pick up a book and you connect with it immediately. The story draws you in and you cannot put the book down. You connect to the book as if it were written about you or your experiences. You read it and absorb every word. It is a pure joy to find a book like this. Unfortunately, we don’t feel that way about every book we read, but if we are lucky, we will pick some good ones. The power of reading a book lets us learn, experience, and share other people’s lives and experiences without the real-life trauma. A good book can also keep us safe from harm. It can have limitless power. That is the way I feel about The Power by Rhonda Byrne as I’ll explain in this chapter.

PICTURING A SUNFLOWER

I left my second marriage in 2009. I had been married for twenty years. Most of it was great, but in the end, multiple infidelities on my spouse’s part eventually wore me down. It was time to move on. I spent the next three years just trying to figure out who I really was, not just being who everyone wanted me to be. That search took me first to Tampa, Florida, then Houston, El Paso, and finally, Fort Worth, Texas. The following story took place in El Paso.

In 2011, after leaving Tampa, I found myself staying with my BFFs Sandy and Tara in Houston. While I was in Houston, I received a call from my previous employer asking me to go work in El Paso. I had just spent twenty years living in Corpus Christi, Texas. I could not fathom living in El Paso, so I initially refused the offer. After some negotiating, I accepted, but on a temporary basis. They would provide me with a place to live, and I would work for them until they found a new nurse and I had time to train the newbie in the position.

My credit cards were close to maxing out and I had a hundred dollars in my pocket. Since I was without a job, I figured getting some money in the bank was a priority. Most of my belongings were in storage. I packed up some essentials and loaded my faithful little dog Wiley into the vehicle. Then we hit the road for El Paso.

Can I first say that the drive to El Paso was the longest, loneliest drive in the history of humankind? Beyond San Antonio, there was virtually eight hours of nothing. Of course, that’s an exaggeration, but except for cactus, mesas, and some mountain ranges, there