Wehman Bros.' Vaudeville Jokes No. 1.

By iOnlineShopping.com

Collection of numerous jokes for laughing and entertainment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iOnlineShopping.com
• Release date: Dec 27, 2019
• ISBN: 9788835350842

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Title: Wehman Bros.' Vaudeville Jokes No. 1.

Author: Anonymous

Release Date: December 20, 2019 [EBook #60973]

Language: English

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WEHMAN BROS.' VAUDEVILLE JOKES #1 ***

Produced by David Edwards, Sue Clark, and the Online

Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

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WEHMAN BROS.’

VAUDEVILLE

JOKES

No. 1.

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PUBLISHED BY

WEHMAN BROS., 126 Park Row,

NEW YORK.

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Copyright, MCMVII, by Wehman Bros.

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WEHMAN BROS.’

BOOK ON

HOW TO

BECOME AN

American Citizen

PRICE 15 CENTS.

This new and revised edition has been compiled to the present time, and contains valuable information for a foreigner to know before becoming a citizen of the land of his adoption. This practical volume embraces the following, viz:—Declaration of Independence—Articles of Confederation—Constitution of the United States—Time required to procure residence in the United States, and the States of the United States—Declaration of Allegiance—Proof of Residence—Admission of Aliens—Questions asked (and their answers) by the United States, District and State Supreme Courts—Costs of Fees, etc. It is well-printed, on a good quality of paper, and bound in colored cover, and will be sent by mail, postpaid, to any address on receipt of 15 Cents.

Persons in Foreign Countries must remit by POST OFFICE MONEY ORDER.

FOREIGN COIN, STAMPS, OR POSTAL NOTES NOT ACCEPTED.

Address all orders to WEHMAN BROS., 158 Park Row, New York.

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WEHMAN BROS.’

Vaudeville Jokes No. 1.

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The coalman’s season may be the winter, and the summer the iceman’s harvest, so that it’s possible the milkman finds his greatest profit in the spring.

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What is the difference between a grocer who uses false weights and a highwayman?

The tradesman lies in weight, while the highwayman lies in wait.

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I saw Romeo and Juliet in a restaurant last night. Juliet ordered some soft-shelled crabs and Romeo ordered a cup of tea. Now, the question arises, does Rome-o for what Juli-et?

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You know my girl? Her name is Plaster. I go to court Plaster every night. She is a poor girl, but there are lots of other girls as por-ous Plaster. I took her out riding the other day, when the horse ran away and threw her out and broke her leg in four places, and her arm in three places. I got some sticking plaster and put on her leg and arm, and then carried her home. Next morning she wouldn’t speak to me.

Why not?

She was too stuck up.

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How old did you say your daughter was?

Twenty-two.

Gracious, but she’s young for her age.

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George Washington was the bravest man in the world. He was never licked in his life.

Oh, yes he was; he was licked on a postage stamp.

Then they had to do it behind his back.

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It has been asked when rain falls, does it ever get up again?

Of course it does, in dew time.

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I dared to go up on Broadway to-day and a team ran over me. Just as I was getting up, the driver shouted: Look out!

And what did you say?

I said: Are you coming back?

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I went to church last Sunday and lost my umbrella. I got up in the congregation and said if I didn’t get my umbrella I would come here next Sunday and mention the party’s name that had it. Next morning when I woke up, my back yard was full of umbrellas.

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If your stomach continues to trouble you, you will have to diet.

What color do you prefer?

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When you put on your stockings, why are you sure to make a mistake?

Because you put your foot in it.

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Did I ever tell you the story about the empty box?

You did not. Tell me about it.

No use—there’s nothing in it.

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"The President is going to