My Poetry "What I Wrote"

By Graeme Taylor

Second Edition
I decided to re-publish my Poetry Book as I wasn’t happy with the layout of the First Edition. The poems that were in the First Edition are in here with additional poems not previously published.
This book represents my sense of humour and the romantic in me, I apologise in advance if it offends anyone it is not my intention.
There are swear words and references to sex but, it is mostly just humour and there to be enjoyed.
Any similar reference to anyone is purely coincidental .Enjoy

• Language: English
• Publisher: Graeme Taylor
• Release date: Feb 2, 2013
• ISBN: 9780957530133

Graeme Taylor

Graeme Taylor spent twenty-one years working as a paramedic in BC. After retiring from the British Columbia Ambulance Service, he completed a PhD. He is also the author of Evolution’s Edge: The Coming Collapse and Transformation of Our World (New Society, 2008). Dr. Taylor currently lives and works in Brisbane, Australia.

Book preview

My Poetry "What I Wrote"

My Poetry What I Wrote

Second Edition

I decided to re-publish my Poetry Book as I wasn’t happy with the layout of the First Edition. The poems that were in the First Edition are in here with additional poems not previously published.

This book represents my sense of humour and the romantic in me, I apologise in advance if it offends anyone it is not my intention.

There are swear words and references to sex but, it is mostly just humour and there to be enjoyed.

Any similar reference to anyone is purely coincidental .Enjoy

Explanations and Apologies

Page 10 – Marriage

A short poem that is not true, I say this so as not to offend my beautiful Wife

Copyright © Graeme Taylor 2013

Registration No. 284664124

ISBN  978-0-9575301-3-3

All Rights Reserved 

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the

Permission in writing from the Author / Publisher

Funny

Bomb Shelter

Every day for days on end

The Germans with their bombers send

And every night without delay

In the shelter his wife would stay

Jack was pleased as he’d done his bit

He came home for leave with his army kit

"It’s good to hold you, I missed you so

It seems like ages so long ago."

Home cooking was grand as he wolfed it down

Then settled on the couch in his dressing gown

The night grew dark the curtains shut

Jack went to check on the Nissen hut

"It’s ok out there just in case we need

To run out there in fast high speed"

Up the stairs they went to snuggle down

And all was quiet in the town

At one o’clock the sirens started

Come on lass its time we departed

Halfway way down she stopped on the stair

Why have you stopped you silly old mare

My teeth I need them, were her cries

They’re dropping bombs not bloody pork pies.

Blind Date

It was through a friend I found a date

I decided yes after a great debate

We arranged to meet by the station clock

I hoped she was ok, and I wasn’t in for a shock

At 7:45 I was standing with my flowers

It was only minutes but it seemed like hours

Then out of the crowd came a woman in white

At first I thought she looked alright

She came up to me and we said hello

I’d booked a table at a nice bistro

As we walked along her arm in mine

Taking in the view of the nice coastline

After a while she started to cough

Then she fell over and her leg fell off

Being concerned with much alarm

I reached down to help and pulled off her arm

I stood transfixed as she lay on the ground

Hoping shortly I would be homeward bound

I lent down again, my thoughts in doubt

Tried to help her up and false tits fell out

As they rolled down the bank, I was in dismay

Her body parts were in disarray

My blind date, I started to regret

As she lay there crying, all upset

Don’t you want sex ? I thought what a deflator

Throw it over here and I’ll shag it later

Landed

The plane landed the engines powered doon

The pilot ready for a night on the toon

What ya deeing ta nite said the co-pilot Ron

Not realising the intercom in the plane was still on

In reply the captain said Forst I’m need a massive Shite

Before I de nowt in tha toon ta nite

Affta tha I’m shagging the arse off that stewardess

The stewardess hearing this was in distress

She ran in a panic towards the cock pit

But fell flat on her face from a foot that she hit

She looked up at the old lady how could it be worse

The old lady sighed tyek ya time pet he’s having a shite forst

Young Jack

Young Jack was all tense, his first day in the stores

It sold everything from shoes to wood doors

His first to assist was a little old man

How came in to buy a frying pan

The item was picked and the sale went through

The manager stormed in saying you haven’t a clue

When a customer comes in and leaves with something they bought,

Encourage them to buy something they didn’t need sought"

"Let me explain when the next one comes by

And I’ll show you