A Short Guide to Respect: How to Improve Relations With, Basically, Everyone

By Chris Andrew Anderson

Respect the law, respect your parents, respect yourself, respect the planet, respect your word. Respect plays an integral part of our everyday lives. It is central to the way we think, speak and behave. It is everywhere from the blink of an eye or the turn of the head to a moving political speech. But what is respect, exactly? How would you define it in simple terms to a child? Is there a way of describing respect which would help us to be more respectful in everything we did or said? This book takes a fresh look at the notion of respect. After providing a simple definition of what respect is, I will show how it can be applied in all aspects of our lives, and how it can help us improve relations with all the people in our lives, from our family and friends to the people we pass in the street. Ultimately, it will help you to be more respectful and respected.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chris Andrew Anderson
• Release date: Sep 22, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463317334

Chris Andrew Anderson

I am a British citizen living in Europe where I teach English for a living. I was brought up as a Christian, which I still am but I have always been troubled by certain philosophical questions related, notedly, to science and religion. I haven't really been able to find any satisfactory answers to my questions so I decided to answer them myself. Or attempt to. As I said somewhere in one of my books, writing is a great clarifier of thoughts. The first, a perhaps only, person to benefit from the exercise is the writer himself.

Book preview

Introduction

Respect the law, respect your teacher, respect your parents, respect yourself, respect the planet, respect your children, respect the highway code, respect a scholar, respect your manager, respect an enemy, respect property, respect your neighbours, show respect to guests, respect a celebrity, respect old people, respect a colleague, respect a doctor, respect a client, respect your word.

An integral part of our everyday life

Respect plays an integral part of our everyday lives. It is central to the way we think, speak and behave. It embodies how we present ourselves to the world, how we see each other and how we interact with people. Respect unpins everything we do and say in all our relationships; from the people we love and know to the strangers we pass in the street.

Respect also determines how we react to situations, those which we view as positive and especially those which we view in a more negative light. Respect is everywhere from the blink of an eye or the turn of the head to the moving speech of an important public figure at an event.

What is respect?

But what is respect, exactly? How would you define it in simple terms to a child? Is there a way of describing respect which would help us to be more respectful in everything we did or said? Do you ever tell people that you respect them? If so, in which circumstances? And what do you really mean? If someone says to you ‘I respect you’, what feelings does it invoke in you? Respect is considered a virtue like courage, honour and honesty. However, whereas honesty, for example, is arbitrated by truth, what is the guiding principle behind respect?

With all due respect

We often have a stronger feeling about what respect isn’t than what it is. We only really talk about respect when we feel that it is wanting or absent. We can feel quite upset or even outraged whenever we think that someone is showing us a lack of respect. Such feelings can inflame an already conflictual situation and telling someone that they are disrespectful often only seems to make things worse. For this reason, the notion of respect can sometimes carry a negative connotation, but it should always be something that we aspire to.

In other words

Sometimes the word respect can be replaced by another one in specific contexts. For example, when we say ‘respect the law’ we mean ‘follow or obey the law’, when we say ‘respect property’ we mean ‘treat with care’, when we say ‘respect your enemy’ it could mean ‘fear your enemy’ and when we say ‘show respect to guests’ we mean ‘be courteous and welcoming’. Respect a famous person may also mean admire that person. Respect a scholar may mean to recognise that person’s authority or expertise. Respect a client could mean value a client. It’s not always easy, however, to give a short alternative definition. What word (or short phrase) could you use for ‘respect a colleague’ or ‘respect your parents’?

The layout of this book

In this book I will begin by defining (what I think is) the essence of respect, what it can be boiled down to. It is a simple definition. I will then try to show how this simple definition can be applied in everyday situations which we are all familiar with. You may not agree with all of the views that I take, and I accept that. My aim is merely to help you reflect on how having a better understanding of the notion of respect will enable you to improve relations with all the people in your life, from your family and friends to the people you pass in the street.

Before you turn to the next chapter, take a moment and think for yourself: how would you describe ‘respect’? What would your definition be? Write it down if you like. When you are ready, turn the page.

1. Respect: What Is It?

A simple definition

To put it simply, respect is acceptance.

‘Really?’, you say. ‘Is that it?’ Yes, really, it is. Respecting someone or something means accepting it. When you accept something or someone then you will behave in an appropriate way towards that person or thing. You will do it naturally because you won’t have any internal struggle to fight or resist. Your thoughts and actions won’t be guided by selfish motivations or personal agendas. When you accept something then you can’t disrespect it. Of course, we are all prone to momentary mishaps in our behaviour but that doesn’t mean we don’t generally respect someone or something.

What does it mean to accept something?

When you accept something then you take it as a