Game, set, match!
Looking for a change in someone else’s behaviour without considering their capacity first is like trying to play a game of tennis by yourself. Some people will never come to the net. Some people will never participate with their whole selves. Some people won’t even pick up a racquet or acknowledge you’re on the court.
No matter how much you might desire to see your relationship with someone improve, if they are not willing to do their part, there is no relationship. Setting boundaries can and does improve many relationships, but the limitations of them will always depend on the other person’s insight, willingness and capacity to respect and meet your efforts equally.
Unexpressed boundaries are not boundaries
Some boundaries are assumed – your physical and sexual boundaries shouldn’t need to be spelled out, even for difficult people (dangerous people are another matter).
Emotional boundaries, on the other hand,
