Tornado

By Nickie Nalley Seidler

Becca's breakup with her long-term boyfriend altered her life. Nobody plans to be with someone to hear the words breakup from the one they love. She thought she couldn't live without Ryan, the man she saw wedding bells with in her future. It all crushed her heart the day he walked out and never looked back. Except, he did look back, but Becca wanted to look forward. Forward was Tanner, the hottest, sweetest guy on campus. One willing to meet on a blind date and win over her heart, every way he could.

The only thing stopping Becca from opening her heart fully was a secret submission to an opportunity across the country that she couldn't walk away from. Torn between the past and excited for the future, Becca goes on an overwhelming twist of emotions that drive her between protecting her heart from Tanner or saving her heart with the only one that loved it, Ryan. Storms will come, and storms will go, but this twister, literally whip's through leaving destruction in its path. The physical destruction, that, can be replaced, but the emotional destruction can't. Will Becca be able to move on with life with Tanner? Or will this secret destroy everything they've worked to build?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nickie Nalley Seidler
• Release date: Jun 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386182641

Book preview

chapter 1

The Past

I can’t do this anymore with you, Becca. Ryan shook his head at me. His eyes not meeting mine. I knew we were on the verge of being over, but I couldn’t let him walk away. Not now. Not after spending four years together in high school and these last years in college. Not after going through every storm and riding out all the rain to be together still today. We had every obstacle in our way, and I couldn’t let him break up with me. My stomach turned at the thought. Every part of my body cringed with an icy chill. I felt so numb. I wanted to put my shield up badly, but I wasn’t going to let that happen. He wasn’t going to leave.

Ryan, I’ll do whatever it takes. We can stop the fighting. We can get some counseling.

Becca, we’re twenty-one years old. We’re in college and you want to get couples counseling? Come on. Get real. We shouldn’t be at this point in our life, he complained.

Tears rushed to my eyes. I was distraught by the words that were shooting spears to my heart. Didn’t he realize what this was going to do to me? Didn’t he care? He was griping about how it was all over with and there was no hope for us. Couldn’t he man up? I knew he loved me.

I’m sorry. We should have never gotten to this point. It’s my fault. Please, let me make it up to you, I pleaded. I was literally on my knees begging because that was all I had left. I was stronger than that, but what else was a woman to do? Just let him go? Fuck. I was acting like I wasn’t worth anything. It wasn’t like me, but he made me feel like nobody else had ever made me feel. I didn’t want to lose that.

I’m sorry. It’s just over, Becca. He walked casually out of my dorm room, never looking back. I was crushed from head to toe. He never even looked over his shoulder. He didn’t stop and turn around to see me in pain. His coward of a self just left. I’m pretty sure my damn heart had left with him.

The gates released the waters that flooded my face as I couldn’t take it. My body racked with hurt, scorching my eyes, to my aching belly at the thought of never seeing Ryan again. He wasn’t just walking out of my dorm room, he was walking out of my life, happily, and he was getting in his car and driving far, far back home. Home where he attended college. Not the two hours to where I attended college. I knew the distance would eventually end us. I knew the jealously he had over me being in a new place with new people, would make him unhappy. I couldn’t believe he was willing to throw away years of our life together. I called his cell phone, to my derisive surprise, he didn’t answer. We made it this far to our senior year in college and we managed the miles between us this long, and he couldn’t handle it anymore? What went wrong?

I left message after message beseeching him to turn around. Begging him to come back into my life. I couldn’t breathe without him.  How was I going to live? He kept me sane in my insane life. Being with him kept me grounded, we were best friends. We were supposed to get married and live happily ever after. Everything in my life, was going to be turned upside down like a wrecking ball tearing apart everything I’d ever known. Ryan Nulty, was gone.

I picked up my phone and called the only person I knew that I could call.

Hello? Tinley answered.

I wailed into the phone. I couldn’t even make out words. My voice cracked every time I tried.

Becca? Is that you?

I managed to creep out, yes, before breathing into the phone with more tears.

I’m on my way, was all she said before ending the call.

I laid on the floor right where he left me on our rugged old carpet dorm floor. The same floor Ryan and I had made love on not so long ago. My phone was beeping at me, dying and reminding me over and over my battery was out of life. I would have plugged it in if I thought I had any hope in Ryan actually calling me back, but my hope was destroyed. Not only was my battery dying but a part of my life perished when Ryan walked out the door. All the memories I had of high school life would always remind me of him. Every dance, every party, every up and down. Ryan was center of it all. Even family holidays. All the pictures in the last seven years, included him to forever share in those memories. How would you just erase that all and move on with your life?

Within a few minutes, Tinley came storming through the door closing it shut behind her.

Tinley and I shared a dorm room together and we became instant best friends. She was one of those friends you just clicked with and it was like you knew each other forever. There was no way to describe it other than we were perfect friends for each other. She got me, and I got her. That was all there was to it. She was the salt to my pepper.

Oh, Becca. She knelt down next to me and held me in her arms comforting me, even though she really had no idea what had happened. Talk to me, honey. She ran her fingers through my dry hair that desperately needed to be touched up.

He dumped me. I managed to spit out before bawling some more. I couldn’t stop. My body shuddered with sadness and then fury, then sadness all over again.

Ryan dumped you? Why? Her sympathetic voice was comforting. I felt like a baby in her arms. It felt good to feel like someone cared.

She helped sit me up on the floor pushing my wild hair out of my face. My cheeks were damp from my tears. She wiped them as best as she could with her sleeve.

He says I’ve been hovering since I got out here, that I haven’t been the same. He’s been losing his love for me. Whatever the fuck that means. I swore when I was mad. Maybe it made me sound more grown up, I didn’t really know why I did it. Waving my arms around as I spoke, it helped get the point across. He said he started talking to someone else. When he began to have feelings for her beyond friendship, he told me he came here to end it. He felt that he needed to tell me because he couldn’t stand cheating on me. Who the fuck says that? And have things really changed that much since I’ve been here? It’s my freaking start to senior year, I’m going to graduate, and he does this to me?

Oh sweetie, what a fucking lame jerk. She caressed my back. Oh, honey. She squeezed me tight.

How could anyone be better for him than me? I was his one and only. He told me so many times it was engraved into my brain. I wasn’t different. I tried to make sure we talked a lot since I had to move two hours away. What did I do wrong? I shrieked.

You did nothing wrong, Becca. Sometimes, things don’t work out like they were intended to. I’m sorry. Tinley was so sweet.

Love was venomous. That was the first hard lesson I’d learned so far in my short life.

The Present

A couple of months had passed, staggering down the halls barely able to carry everything I had in my hands, and I needed to get everything ready for tonight. Summer was over, and the party was about to start. Our last year of college. I was eager to get out and not yet worry about anything school related and have a good night with Tinley and her boyfriend. Even though I was the third wheel, I was excited.

College had been a breeze for me thus far, but this year was going to be the hardest. Not only did it mean I was graduating at the end, but it meant Tinley and I weren’t going to be roommates either. We’d have to pack up our dorm and see where our lives took us. That was the scary part. For me, I already had a plan. I was going to school for film and had already been accepted to a remarkable program where I would take my last quarter of school in Los Angeles, California to study on a set of a film. My time there could possibly land me internships or even a full-time position if I got my foot far enough into the door. It was an incredible opportunity and I was ecstatic. It would only be a few weeks but the possibilities were endless.

My heart was still healing after Ryan had shattered it, but I was trying to move on. No one else had made me feel anything like Ryan ever did with the few dates I was forced on from Tinley. I loathed being set up. I only went to make Tinley happy. So far, she was the only one that was happy. My happiness was being with Ryan. Tonight however, my happiness was partying.

Hurrying back to the dorm, I opened the door fumbling with everything in my hands as books and papers fell on my bed and scattered around. Looking over to my closet, I realized I hadn’t picked anything to wear yet tonight. My mind thought sexy, but my brain told me smart.  A flashy blue dress caught my eye. I had bought it to go out with Ryan, but that never happened so I never wore it. Tinley hand-picked it out months ago. Might as well get some use out of it. I placed it on the edge of the door and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a mess, so I plugged the straightener in and got my makeup ready. Tinley came bursting through the doors with bags in her hands.

No, no, and no you’re not wearing a dress you bought for an ex. That’s just bad luck written all over it, Becca! She tossed me a bag. I went shopping. You’re welcome.

I sat back on the bed with a surprised expression on my face. Peaking in the bag there was a red dress. Red was bold. Real audacious, and I wasn’t that brave. Well, I was, but not without Ryan.

Wow, it’s beautiful... it’s really out there. I raised my eyebrows.

You will look stunning in it! Get dressed. We have dinner plans.

Dinner plans? I cocked my brow. That wasn’t part of the plans we had made earlier in the week. She had to be joking. I swear to all things holy she better not be setting me up again.

Yes, James and I found someone you have to meet. His name is Tanner.

Tanner? Like Tanner Pine? I asked wishing she’d say no.

Yes! You know him? She bounced.

My face immediately reddened. Probably the reddest it could probably be. Tanner Pine was an exceptionally popular guy in one of the biggest frat houses on campus. Everyone knew who Tanner Pine was. He was not Becca material. I was definitely not good enough. I was mentally slapping myself for lowering my worth. But it was Tanner fucking Pine! People like me, didn’t date people like him.

The fucking whole school knows Tanner! What were you thinking trying to get him to date me? I sighed. Little ole me! I’m not hot and I’m certainly not his type. Where did my ever-loving self-esteem go?

Well, that’s certainly not what he said after he saw the picture I showed him of you on my phone. Her hands landed on her hips in a matter of fact way.

She had to be lying.

What? I stuttered. Tanner Pine liked my picture? You’ve just made this night become less fun for me. I’m going to be a nervous wreck all night! What picture did you show him? I questioned, anxiously awaiting her response.

So, you like him already. That’s perfect, Becca! Oh, just a silly picture I had. She cheered.

You don’t understand. It’s freaking Tanner Pine! Butterflies fluttered in my stomach thinking of the name. Imagining his hands on me, picturing our first kiss. I was really going way too far with my imagination, but it was dreamy Tanner. Everyone dreamed of his steam. His deep blue eyes, and his sexy slicked back hair. He had those athletic football shoulders, and a masculine chest with one hell of a nice ass. He was one of a kind.

I looked back in the mirror and rethought my plan. I’d need a freaking make over before tonight not just that dumb straightener.

You’ll be fine. You’re amazing, Becca. Any guy will have the pleasure in seeing that.

Ryan didn’t.

"Stop it! Ryan is gone, gone. Gone! Stop thinking about him. He’s an asshole. You are moving on. You will not mention his name all damn night, or I swear." She pointed her finger at me angrily.

Fine. I rolled my eyes and lifted my straightener to get her attention. Then I need your help.

You got it girl. A smile curved on her lips, and I knew I was in deep shit.

She ran over to me and started doing her magic. She managed to tame my blonde locks, brush perfect amounts of makeup on my face, and make me flawless. I tried the red dress on, and I was speechless. I hadn’t looked at myself like that in a long time to be able to feel so good about how I looked. My confidence boosted. She didn’t want me to discuss Ryan tonight, then so be it. Screw you, Ryan. This was what you were missing.

Tinley came back out with her blonde hair all curled and wearing this cute mini black dress that barely covered her ass. She loved showing off for James, her boyfriend. She looked adorable.

Where’s James?

He’s with Tanner, they are meeting us at the steak house.

Steak house?

We’re getting a good damn dinner to celebrate the start to a great semester.

I smiled. It was a celebration. This semester was going to be a kick ass good semester for both of us. We deserved the night out.

chapter 2

Walking into the steak house with Tinley was easy. She talked, and I stared around the room searching for the table. The smell was phenomenal. The scent of meat mixed with garlic mashed potatoes overwhelmed my nostrils. You could practically hear the sizzling on the grill in the kitchen. My eyes were wandering around, looking for where Tanner was. I wanted to spot him, and scope out where they were sitting. Of course, Tinley beat me to it.

I followed her towards the back till I noticed he was sitting with his back to me. Even his back was hot. He sat there in a deep blue dress shirt. He appeared well groomed even though I hadn’t seen his face yet.

Tinley walked right into James’ arms as I stood there awkwardly fiddling with the hem of my dress. Tanner stood up and offered his hand to me. The greeting was awkward.

Becca, heard lots about you, Tanner Pine. He took my hand in his, to what I thought he was going to shake, but instead he kissed the top. I swear my knees were going to buckle. This