The Scent of Jasmine: Street Arrhythmia, #1

By YD La Mar

Surviving.
That's all I've been doing.
Floating around the city like I've already lost my soul.
A city that chews you up, spits you out without giving you an actual form of escape.
Until he told me I was his.
A spark of color and warmth amidst the grey.
But I know more than anybody, that life will throw punches at you when you least expect it.

This is the city that never sleeps.
The city that always weeps.

• Language: English
• Publisher: YD La Mar
• Release date: Feb 17, 2021
• ISBN: 9798223766698

Book preview

PART ONE

WE’RE ALL WE HAVE IN THIS DESOLATE PLACE

PROLOGUE

The girl in the mirror is crying again. Her lips tremble, but her mouth doesn’t make a sound. She can’t. She needs to stay strong and save face in front of the world. A strength found in silence. To my ears, everything around me is muffled, as if we were all drowning in the same ocean, sinking underwater. Garbled noises. My sights catch the branches and leaves outside the window moving from the breeze, but I can’t hear the rustling or feel the air. Is it bright because the sun is out or do my eyes play tricks on me in this monochromatic world?

I reach out toward her, the girl in the mirror, to see if I can comfort her in any way. She stares back at me with sorrowful eyes that speak of buried pain and truths as she reaches out for me at the same time. Our fingers touch, firm and cold against the solid barrier. It’s a chill that seeps into your very marrows and winds its way around your soul, trapping it in place. We’re always alone together between these four walls. And on days like this, I’m sadly reminded that all she has is me.

Looking around, color has been bleached from my world again alongside the volume of sound that’s been turned down, like it all melted away and is slowly going down the drain—swirling and swirling until it disappears. How do I bring it back? I don’t think the cold, sharp, metal paintbrush in my hands will do it today. I need something more, but the only color I can paint and bring back is red.

But I have to try, don’t I? I can’t let her get sucked down the drain either. After all, all she has is me.

ONE

MANNY - 4TH GRADE, AGE 9

Y anny and Manny sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love and then comes marriage. Then comes a baby in a baby carriage! The chants on the school playgrounds make me embarrassed. I don’t want Yan to be mad at me. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean for them to taunt her name that way out loud in front of the whole school.

One of my friends found out I had a huge crush on her when she moved here. I’ve never seen anyone like her. She’s so pretty and her long hair is her best feature. I can’t take my eyes off the glistening dark strands.

Sadly, I don’t even think she knows I’m alive.

Oo! Yanny and Manny! Another kid taunts.

Bet she knows now, though. What should I do? Should I say I’m sorry? Stupid Chewy. He’s always trying to rub it in my face ever since he saw me staring at her at lunch. I can’t help it. When the sun casts behind her, she glows like an angel.

Ignoring the other kids, I stare off in a different direction. I haven’t seen her talk to anybody yet or make any friends. I know for a fact that most of the girls in this school aren’t very nice. After all, life in our neighborhood has toughened even the youngest children. These girls can be downright mean, especially the bigger girls. I should stop slinking around like a creep and go talk to her. Yan is only a couple of years younger than me, if I’m calculating it correctly. But it shouldn’t matter, right? Boys should be nice to girls? That’s what Mamá always tells me.

Making the decision, I pick up my tray, toss away the trash and walk over to her table. I observe her for a moment, sitting there quietly by herself. She rarely picks her head up despite the kids still teasing her and calling out her name. Her beautiful dark strands create a curtain between her and the world around her.

Hi, I’m Manny, I spit out. She looks at me and I swear her eyes are the color of milk chocolate. I love chocolate. Oh man, I think I have a chocolate bar in my pocket from this morning. I should share it with her. Do you want to share my chocolate with me?

The shy smile that creeps across her face makes my heart perform cartwheels in my chest. I’ve never felt anything like this before and I find that I kind of like it. Man, she’s so pretty. How can she be real? Come on Manny, say something else. I’m standing here like an idiot and I’m clamming up. She probably thinks—

Okay, she replies quietly at first, then finds the courage to speak louder. I’d love to have some. Thank you. Her smile makes my chest tight. I want to always see her smile like that. I wonder if she realizes how amazing it is.

My heart skips a beat thinking about the possibility that maybe one day I’ll get to kiss her. I don’t care what Chewy and the boys say. I’m going to make Yan my girl.

…

The summer came quickly and school is out but I can’t stay away from Yan. She’s become my best friend, even though she’s a girl. Over the months we’ve gotten to know each other better. Or rather, I’m opening up myself more to her while she continues to come out of her shell and occasionally drops hints about her life here and there. It’s enough to keep me addicted. I want to know everything there is about her. I want to know what brings her to life.

We meet up at the park mostly if her parents let her out of the house. Not wanting to miss any time with her, I try my best to phone her house to let her know if I’m going down there. Most of the time, her dad doesn’t let her talk on the phone. He always gives me a cryptic reply or sounds like he’s pissed off that I asked for her to begin with. As long as she knows I’m calling for her and that I’m thinking about it, I couldn't care less.

I tried saying hi to her mom once, so she knows who I am, but her mom doesn’t talk much either. She reminds me a lot of Yan. Maybe Yan’s dad doesn’t let either of them talk to people he deems as strangers, I don’t know. But her mom seems nice because she smiles at me at least, even if she ignores me afterward. It doesn’t deter me, though. I talk about Yan to my mom all the time, telling about what an amazing person she is. Mi mamá gives me a look but I brush it off as her just being weird. I told Mi mamá to say hi too, to her mother, when she can. Maybe she’ll have a better chance at making her open up, being a woman and all. I want to be involved in all aspects of her life, Yan is my most favorite person in the whole world.

Standing on the sidewalk, I stare at the trees and look to see if she’s there. The park is where everyone from school hangs out. Located right in the middle of town, it’s the only good park around here that doesn’t bring in much trouble. The playground is still nice without too much tagging on it. The gangsters haven’t infested the place yet. There are three whole seats for the swings, a good number for such a small neighborhood. The cholos and drug dealers keep their distance from the kids at the park, they don’t bother anyone while we’re hanging out here during the day. I mean, I can keep Yan safe here. I have pretty sharp eyes and I’ve been in this hood longer than her, so I know who to look out for.

Manny! Her booming voice pulls me from my thoughts. Turning I find her running up the block toward me with her hair flowing behind her. Man, the smile she gives me is everything.

Yan! Waving rapidly in the air, I make sure she sees exactly where I’m standing. She’s so cute when she runs because she runs like a girl. I frown because I hope she’s being careful since there are a bunch of random potholes in the street. I don’t want her little shoes to catch on any of them.

When she reaches me, she gives me the tightest hug. I love Yan hugs because they express everything she can't verbally tell me yet—that I’m her best friend too.

What do you want to do today? Do you want to go on the swings? There’s nobody there yet. She squeals so loud in my ear, I grimace, pushing her off me a bit to save them. I can forgive her excitement, though. It’s not often she gets to escape her prison of a home.

Come on, I’ll race ya, Yan! I tease, getting a head start.

She squeals again when she sees me running already, her cheeks pinkening in irritation. Pink looks good on her. Come on Yan, you have to pay attention if you want to win! Of course, I let her think she won when in reality I just wanted to see her little victory dance. Lifting her onto the swing, I push her as high as I can. She loves it. And I love it when Yan gives me a genuine laugh that lights up my world. She sounds like sunshine.

As soon as we started to enjoy ourselves, a masculine voice pierces the happy bubble we created.

Yan! Her dad always sounds like he’s mad. It’s the same tone of voice I get when I call over there. I don’t know what his problem is because from what I can see, Yan and her mom never do anything wrong.

Catching her downward swing, I steady the seat and help her get off. She refuses to look at me, a pattern I’ve caught more than once when her dad is around.

I’m sorry, Manny, she mumbles sweetly only for my ears. I have to go. I’ll see you later, okay? She gives me the lightest kiss on the cheek before she runs back to where her parents are waiting.

Without turning around, my hand creeps up to my cheek to try to hold the feeling there. I don’t want her to get in any more trouble than she’s probably already in. The phantom sensation of her lips touching my skin throbs lightly and my chest constricts. I’m going to marry Yan someday. She’s the one for me.

Once her family is out of sight, I turn around to get ready to go back home. I look up to find a couple of other guys on the playground looking at her like they wish they had her smiles too and it pisses me off.

She’s mine. They better figure that out quickly.

I memorize their features. Both of the boys have black hair and are about the same size and height. As if feeling my scrutiny, the boy with the honey-colored eyes turns to look at me, and I’m giving him the meanest glare I can muster.

He better leave Yan alone. I'm not going to let anyone bully her anymore. I’ll always protect her.

…

NELSON - AGE 9

Watching her run back to her family, the light catches her long black hair. It’s mesmerizing to say the least. It reminds me of some of the comic books I’ve read. The girls always have long hair. I wonder if she has superpowers like they do, because I can’t take my eyes off her. Maybe she’s like that one girl, Psylocke. She’s so cool and beautiful too. And she has black hair as well.

But unlike the girls in the comics, there’s an air of innocence about her that makes a person want to get to know her, if just to hold her quietly.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand as if someone’s watching me. My buddy Johnny is still looking in the direction where the girl and her family took off as I turn around to find another boy giving me a dirty look. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I haven’t done anything but stand here. I didn’t do anything wrong. The longer I stare at him the more I think this was the boy the girl was playing with earlier at the swings. I’ve seen him before, somewhere, possibly at school. Do we have math together? I’ll pay attention a little more when summer break is over and find out.

Ignoring him, my mind drifts back to my previous thoughts. My dad wanted to work on the car together today. Says it will be good for me to know some things, even if it’s just the name of the different parts. That way, when I grow up, I won’t have to pay anyone to help me with my own vehicle. It’ll save money for things I’ll really need.

I think about everything my dad hammers into my head a lot. He’s a pretty smart guy. My dad is pretty smart. He knows how to fix a lot of stuff. He’s my hero. I better hurry up and finish at the playground with Johnny so I can make it back home in time.

Yo, you ready to go? I elbow Johnny who’s staring off in the direction the girl left. Was he thinking about her too? Nah, Johnny still thinks all the girls have cooties.

Yeah. Isn’t that that girl they call Yanny or something? Some of our classmates were making fun of her the other day, right? he asks, looking at me for answers. Is she?

I shrug my shoulders and slap him with the back of my hand, flicking my head in the direction of home.

I don’t know. I guess it really doesn’t matter. Why do you care anyway?

Pfft. I don’t care, he admits. I mean, girls got cooties, man. Well, Kiera’s cool.

Kiera’s got nice tanned skin and an attitude to boot. I heard her older brother signed up for the military when they came by the school his senior year. He’s already out and gone from this neighborhood.

You only think she’s cool because she’s got an older brother that’s already graduated, I tell him.

He shoves my shoulder with his while we walk down the sidewalk. Whatever man. Did you hear that she was pissed because he signed up for the military without even telling her? It’s kind of messed up, in a way.

She got over it though, didn’t she? I mean, he’s older. He has things to do.

Johnny nods as we keep walking. Kiera’s brother Rowe seems like he knows everything he’s supposed to do in life. I look at Johnny questioningly. He already chose something he wanted to go after, and that’s what he did, you know? I wonder what I should do when I finish school, he chuckles. Hell, I wonder what my mom is going to make for dinner today.

His stomach growls right after his statement and I burst out laughing.

TWO

YAN - TWO YEARS LATER

M anny! I call out when I see him walking to the lunch line. I’m so glad I caught him. I love sitting next to him at lunch, it makes my day so much brighter. I make sure to always give him a big hug when I see him because I never know when I’ll see him next. Sometimes, my dad gets in one of his weird moods and he doesn’t let me leave the house. Sometimes, he doesn’t make me comfortable leaving my room so I just lock myself away until his mood settles—if his mood settles.

Dislodging the sour thoughts of my life at home, I stare at my best friend. Manny’s older than me by a couple of years. My heart always does a little jump when he smiles back at me and I wonder how I got so lucky that we became friends. He has a crooked grin but I think it’s so cute. It’s so Manny.

Some of the girls in line beside him check him out and giggle together. He doesn’t see it but I do. It always makes me feel a little uneasy. After all, I don’t know why he hangs out with me when he could be with any one of them. But I love that he picks me over them, though. The thought makes me smile wider. Someone calls Manny’s name and he turns to wave. I take the chance to stick my tongue out at the other girls and they give me dirty looks. I don’t know what their problem is, I’ve never even talked to any of them before. Despite their attitudes, they never say anything to me when Manny’s around. That’s another reason why I love hanging around with him, all the mean kids leave me alone.

I sidle up to him and the other girls frown since it means I get to stand in front of them. Let's get in line together, Manny. I grab his arm and ignore the other girls, facing forward in line with him. How was your day? What class do you have after lunch period?

I’m rambling, I know it. But he makes me feel comfortable, like I can be myself. At least, most of the time. Sometimes his attention makes me shy but I like it anyway. Is it wrong of me to purposely ramble so I can have all his attention to myself? I don’t want the other girls to take it away from me. I mean, he’s my best friend after all, not theirs.

Hey, Yan, he laughs. I missed you too. I think I have math after lunch. It’s the only class I’m good at, so I try not to ditch it.

I stifle a laugh at his admission. Manny is such a bad boy! I wouldn’t dare to ditch. My dad would beat me if he ever found out if I did. The thought sobers my mood. I don’t like it when he hits me. He doesn’t hit me as hard as he hits my mom, but it still hurts the next day.

We grab our free lunches and find an empty table outside of the cafeteria, away from the crowd. We both like fresh air and the cafeteria can get so noisy with everybody inside talking at the same time. Once we sit down, I look at what’s on my tray. It’s Pizza. It smells like it should but I swear their pizza tastes cardboard. It’s even shaped in a weird rectangle. Shouldn't pizza’s be triangles? It’s so nasty and greasy, I scrunch my nose at it.

Manny laughs at my expression and I frown, making him laugh harder. I can’t help it! It’s so nasty! Manny, can I have some of your fruits? Every time I eat this thing, I have to clear my throat like a million times from all that nasty grease.

Manny gives me one of his crooked grins again and my mood lightens the same way his eyes do when he’s in a playful mood.

Of course Yan, but it’ll cost you.

What? He’s always shared his food with me! What the hey! Alright, fine. What will it cost me?

Manny needs to stop playing because I’m utterly starving at this point with all the smells in front of me. I watch cautiously, trying to keep my eyes both on him and the food when he leans in, the smile still plastered on his face.

You have to be my girlfriend and let me tell everybody.

My heart stops for a second. I didn’t see this coming at all. I’m unsure of what to say or how I should feel. Why is my heart racing and why does my face feel so hot? W-What? We’re already best friends, though.

My pulse whooshes behind my ears loudly and my hands become clammy. Manny could have any girl he wants. Why does he want to be with me? I mean, I’m not complaining, but it doesn’t make any sense.

Yeah, I know, he says easily, leaning back on his seat as if he didn’t just drop a bomb on my lap. That’s why it’s no big deal if you become my girlfriend. What’s the difference? He throws his hands out. We hang out all the time, anyway. But this way I get to tell all my friends though.

He wags his eyebrows and I chuckle. I mean, that makes sense, I guess? He’s smiling so widely that it makes me blush further and smile too. He wags his eyebrows again and I burst out laughing at his antics.

Raising my hands to my cheeks, I let the clamminess cool down my cheeks. Manny is staring at me intently, waiting for a response. My heart feels like it wants to beat out of my chest from all this attention, but I audibly gulp and give him an answer.

Okay, I say softly.

What was that? Did you say okay? Is he kidding me right now? Is he really going to make me say it again? I’m so embarrassed.

Yeah, I said okay, Manny, I say a bit louder, looking left and right to see if anyone is listening in on our conversation. We’re isolated out here for the time being, thank goodness.

Hell yeah! Manny fists pumps the air and my stomach aches from laughing so much. He’s so silly. Suddenly, he gets up from where he’s sitting across from me to come to sit right beside me instead. He throws his arm over my shoulder and I scrunch down, unsure of what is happening. I mean, we hug all the time, but I’ve never had his arm around me in this way before. My cheeks fire up again and before I know what’s happening or how to deal with this new side of Manny, he gives me a peck on the cheek.

Huh. I guess it’s not so different from us being best friends after all. I roll my eyes at him and stare at our trays trying to keep my mind off where his arm is touching me on the opposite shoulder.

I can do this. Wow. I have a boyfriend who’s older than me. I’m officially dating an older boy! I shove his side and reach over and steal his fruit off his tray, plopping it into my mouth so I don’t have to think of something to say.

He chuckles, knowing exactly what I’m doing, before grabbing some of the fruit for himself. We sit there together peacefully sharing our meal, people watching.

I never thought it would happen to me. I’m so glad it’s Manny, though.

After we throw our trash away, he holds my hand and walks me to class. When we reach the door, I anticipate Manny kissing me on my cheek but he surprises me when his lips land on mine, making my eyes widen. My breath catches and I stand as still as I possibly can, afraid of doing something wrong.

He pulls away and looks like he’s holding back a laugh but all I can think about is how soft his lips were against mine. Lifting my hand slowly, I touch them and feel my face flush. Some of the kids around us stop for a second and begin whispering amongst themselves but my attention is solely stolen by the boy in front of me.

I’ll see you later Yan.

My words catch in my throat as he turns to walk away right before the bell rings.

NELSON

My feet stop in my tracks in front of math class when some of the kids part far enough for me to catch a glimpse of something I can’t take my eyes off of. Manny just kissed Yan in front of everyone in the halls. She’s so red, and