Heart of The Reaper

By YD La Mar

My dark past was only a foreshadowing of my future.

Once an ordinary girl, my life was forever altered when those I trusted the most gave into their dark desires. I was cast into the underworld, but I didn't belong there.

And he knew it.

The Reaper, the formidable ruler of this realm, spared me, sending me back to a human world I no longer recognized.

I should have been grateful, but instead, I found myself missing the one who cast me out. And I wasn't the only one grappling with unexpected longing. The Reaper himself, against all reason, yearned for me. Consumed by this unfamiliar desire, he waged wars, devoured souls, and defied his nature, just to take a corporeal form and win my heart.

But can a mortal woman truly love Death? And what happens when the heart I hold in my hands is the most dangerous thing of all?

• Language: English
• Publisher: YD La Mar
• Release date: Oct 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005630546

YD La Mar

If you get your kicks in a magical manner, order toys from websites like bad dragon, and prefer your monsters in your bed instead of under them, then Y. D. is your girl.Writing everything from spicy dark fantasy to fluffier-than-a-cool-marshmallow romance, Y.D. La Mar has her fingers in all sorts of man-meat pie, and the sky is the limit. Somehow, this magical mistress manages to balance her spicy author life with her responsibilities as a mom, a wife, and a resident of Sin City—oh, irony, you've felled me.When the world is full of black-and-white, Y.D. plays in the grey zones, spending her time creating new ways to shock and awe her editor, as well as her readers.Want More?www.ydlamar.comhttps://www.bookbub.com/profile/yd-la-marhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/marredheartsandbleedingflowersPlease visit my website: ydlamar.com for my personal darkness scale for each of my books!cupcakes & sprinkles | ivory | dove grey | light grey | grey | light dark | dark |dark dark | pitch black

Book preview

Prologue

The pull I felt brought me to this home. I watched the two humans fighting with resignation as I noticed the man take his hands away from the woman’s neck. The pull I felt earlier dissipates into nothingness. Creatures on this plane come and go. It’s when they waste my time that it gives me feelings of anger. They need to make up their minds whether to welcome Death’s embrace. No one appreciates oscillating decision-making, especially not me.

Leaving the lower level, I enter another room above it. Here in the darkness of a small, enclosed room lies a child in sleep. It looks to be female, but it is sometimes hard to tell when they are this small. Her face is wet, and dirt clings to it like a magnet, giving her grey streaks down her cheeks. Why the two humans below were given one under their care is beyond me. They don’t deserve it. Not many creatures in this realm deserve it, yet it still happens more so than not. It is not my place to question, and I don’t really care to understand. I am more than willing to remove their souls to bring back to my plane.

The child lets out a breath and turns to her back, revealing her face to me. I only feel pity for the life she has ahead of her. Perhaps if she is lucky, we will meet again sooner rather than later.

Courtesy warning:

**If you cannot handle the darkness of unrequited family love/incest in the beginning BUT want to read this story, please skip to Chapter 8. Feel free to message me about the summary of the beginning!**

These chapters are quite relevant to the story, and who our heroine grows up to be, and how she views the world in her adulthood. Her personality is affected by all she goes through and that fact will be evident later on in the story.

The speech and thought pattern was purposely written to reflect that of the heroine’s age at the time. This will also change and mature as she grows up.

If you choose to continue forward, happy reading

Chapter 1

REESE - 7 years old

I squeeze both my stuffed animals against my ears to stop the noise. It makes my heart pound and makes me cry. I don’t like it when Mommy and Daddy yell at each other. I don’t like it when Daddy comes home like that, smelling funny.

When it hurts too much inside and my stuffies don’t help, I hide in my closet and shut the door. It makes the sound go away a little more. Why does he have to be so mad all the time? Why does Momma have to yell back and make him madder? Why can’t they stop?

I turn on the little flashlight I have in here. I keep it in here for when I need to chase the shadows away. I hide some of my toys inside my closet for when I need them, like now. I like to play pretend with my dollies. The world my dollies live in is happy. No one yells at each other.

I play for a while until my eyes feel heavy and my head keeps dropping. I crawl onto the floor and push some of my clothes together to make a pillow for my head. I feel so sleepy.

I think I’m dreaming. It’s clear, but it’s fuzzy at the same time. My parents are screaming at each other, but I can’t find them. I’m alone in a place I don’t know and it’s so scary. It feels cold, and it makes my cheeks colder because my tears made them wet. Where’s my mommy?

I can’t stop crying and I sit on the floor hugging myself because I don’t know which way to go. I can’t tell where my mommy’s voice is coming from. I’m lost and my tummy is full of butterflies because I’m so scared.

Mommy!

I try to wipe my eyes on my arm, but I can’t stop crying so it doesn’t help. It just makes my arm wet and colder because the room is so cold. I put my head on my arms to keep warm, but my body is shaking more from my crying than from being cold.

I think I feel something touch me so I pick my head up. Looking around, I don’t see anything and it makes me cry even more. My skin is getting goose pimples.

A noise behind my head makes me stand up and turn. There’s someone else here. He looks like a man because he’s so big, bigger than Daddy. He’s wearing a dark coat that goes down to the floor and covers his head. He looks warm. I feel so cold.

I grab his hand because I just want to know where my mommy is. The man pushes me off him and I fall on my butt. I scream because it hurts and I’m still lost.

Mommy. I need to get out of here. Where do I go? Where did this man come from?

Bringing my knees back up to my chin, I hug myself because I feel even colder than before. I can see air coming out like smoke from my mouth.

It gets darker behind my closed eyes, like when the clouds cover the sun. I open them to see the man from before coming down to the ground with me. Looking up, I can’t see his face, All I see is darkness. But I feel so alone that I just need a hug. I wonder if he can help me find my mommy?

His hand grabs mine and he pulls me up to my feet. I wipe my tears with my free arm before I look at him again. He doesn’t say anything, but I feel better already.

Will you help me find my mommy?

I think he’s nodding because his black cover on his head moves. We start walking and I swing our hands because I’m so happy he’s here. I don’t know what I would do if he didn’t show up.

I wake up and blink my eyes a few times and I’m back in my bedroom. Rubbing my eyes, I sit up and look around, but the man is gone. I must have been crying in my sleep because my pillow feels icky and my face is still a little wet.

Someone knocks on my door and I see Mommy’s face peek in.

Mommy! I jump out of bed and give her a big hug. I thought I would never find her again!

I had a good time with Mommy today. We went to the park! I made a lot of friends and we played on the slide. It was so fun. The sun was shining and Mommy was smiling a lot. I asked her if we can have macaroni and cheese for lunch, and she said yes. This is the best day ever!

We were watching the Hunchback movie and I felt so bad for the boy. He deserved love, but everyone was so mean to him. The front door opens with a loud bang, making me jump. I turn to see Daddy walking funny on his way in. He smells funny again.

Go upstairs, baby. Hurry. I try to be a good girl and always listen to what my mommy and daddy tell me. I turn off the TV and grab my stuffy before I go upstairs to my room.

I can hear Mommy talking to Daddy on my way up. Mommy doesn’t sound happy. I don’t know what Daddy says to her because I make sure to close my bedroom door when I make it inside.

I don’t know how long I played in my room, but my head keeps dropping. It happens when I’m sleepy. Putting some of my toys in my closet, I grab my stuffy and climb into bed to sleep.

I just start to close my eyes when I hear my door open. First, I think it’s Mommy standing at the door, but it’s darker than usual outside my bedroom. It must be Daddy because he’s much bigger than Mommy.

Daddy comes into my room.

Your mommy is mad at me, baby. Let me sleep next to you tonight. I need a break from her. I don’t want them to fight anymore either. I let Daddy snuggle with me in my bed so he can feel better. He hugs me tight and tells me goodnight. My heart feels so full because he’s giving me attention. I like it when he gives me attention. We don’t play like we used to. Maybe things will be different now, now that I can be a good girl when he needs me.

Chapter 2

REESE - 11 years old

My parents are fighting again. I can hear the glass shattering against the wall downstairs. Mommy probably threw another one of our drinking cups at Daddy. He hasn’t come home smelling funny in a while, but today he did. I used to wonder what the smell was and why they always fought about it. Now I know. It’s the smell of alcohol and another woman.

Mommy and Daddy married young. Mommy was only sixteen, and Daddy was eighteen. They weren’t serious together, but once Grandpa found out Mommy was pregnant with me he made Daddy marry her with a shotgun pointed behind him.

Despite the shaky start, Mommy told me they were in love. Or so she thought. When Daddy turned 21, he started getting into alcohol and drinking all the time. That’s when everything changed. The arguments became louder. Soon fists were being thrown around, and now Mommy throws things at him. This last part only started happening when Daddy would come home smelling like another woman. Before that, Mommy didn’t fight back much.

Is it sad to say that I’m used to it all by now? After the first few times of Mommy fighting back and threatening to leave with me, Daddy took a turn for the better. He stopped drinking as much and he was home more. Mommy and Daddy made up and things were going good.

Until tonight. I’m tired of trying to find excuses for him. I don’t care what his reason is. I stopped listening to my mother’s cries about how she’s always loved him and how he doesn’t appreciate her loyalty. He shouldn’t have to be told. We’re always here, waiting for him to come home. Shouldn’t that tell him enough?

On days like this, I lock my doors in case Daddy feels like taking his anger out on me too. It never used to be this way. It used to be Daddy slapping Mommy once or twice, and then he would leave the house to go drink again. A few times in the past, Daddy’s been trying to tuck me into bed, saying Mommy isn’t doing a good job at raising me by the way she’s treating him. He slaps me in the face if I talk back. I just wanted to tell him Mommy is doing a great job.

How does that make any sense? Sometimes Daddy says things I don’t understand. The first time he came to tuck me into bed, I was so excited to get his attention. I wanted to be a good girl for him. Maybe if I was a really good girl, things would get better, and he wouldn’t have to be so mad at Mommy anymore.

When he would kiss me on the forehead, my heart would feel so full, like what I’m doing is the right thing and everything will be okay.

But sometimes, I don’t know if I’m making him happy enough. He hasn’t been back in my bed since that night until today.

Tonight he’s here in my room and I’m nervous I’m going to mess something up and make him not want to tuck me in anymore.

Reese honey, I’m going to stay in bed with you tonight. Your mama needs a break and I don’t want to make her madder at me, does that make sense? Daddy is already climbing into bed behind me. I don’t know how he’s going to fit because it’s a small bed. But if Daddy needs to cuddle to feel better, I can be a good girl for him. Sometimes cuddles make you feel better.

That’s okay, Daddy, you can stay with me. I’ll scoot over and make room for you.

Thanks, honey. You know how to make Daddy happy. I glow at his praise and scoot over to the far edge.

Daddy scoots close to me and gives me a hug with his arm around my tummy. It’s nice. Daddy doesn’t hug me as much as he used to when I was younger. He used to play with me and my dollies until he started coming home smelling funny. I’m so glad he’s giving me attention again.

I think I fall asleep because something wakes me up. It’s Daddy. He’s squirming behind me. Maybe he’s having a bad dream. Sometimes I have bad dreams, and it’s so scary waking up alone. My monster helps make me feel better, though. Sometimes it’s nice knowing that you’re not alone, even if it’s just someone squeezing your hand when you’re scared.

I figure Daddy is having a bad dream, so I squeeze the hand he has around my tummy in case it helps. Daddy pushes his body against my back and I feel something hard near my butt. I wonder what that is? He keeps doing it and I think I’m about to fall off my side of the bed so I hold his hand tighter. I hope he wakes up before I fall for real.

Daddy makes a weird sound before he wakes up.

Reese? Shit. That’s a bad word. Should I tell Daddy? Mommy says we shouldn’t say bad words like that.

Daddy leaves my room before I can tell him. I hope I didn’t do anything wrong. Is he mad at me? I feel so sad. I probably did do something wrong.

I think it’s still dark outside, so I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep.

It’s hot in this room. I think I hear the sound of fire. It’s the same sound that comes out of our stove before mommy puts the pan on it. I don’t know where I am. I know it’s a dream because everything is clear and fuzzy at the same time.

What is this place? I hear someone scream and it makes me scared. It sounds like they’re really hurt.

Mommy? I hear crying voices from somewhere else and I keep turning around to look, but I don’t see anyone. Where are these voices coming from?

I’m so scared. I wonder if my monster will find me. I need him.

A cool breeze touches my face and I turn around to see if there’s a door that opened or something. But when I turn, all I see is a black cloak.

I squeal and give him a big hug. I knew my monster would show up! Now I don’t have to be alone and scared anymore.

He puts his hands on my shoulders and gently pushes me away. I know he gets a little weird with my touching, but I can’t help it. I’m a touchy person. I love hugs!

Did you come to find me? I give him a big smile because it feels nice to know someone is looking for you, just like I was looking for him.

He holds my hand in his, and we walk down a dark hallway. The screams and cries are getting louder, so I walk closer to him, squeezing his hand. What is this place? It’s hot, but my monster’s body is really cool. It makes me squeeze even closer to him. When a scream comes from beside me really loud in my ear, I scream, too, and hug my monster.

That was so scary! I’m crying and shaking from what just happened, and I think I feel my monster put his hand on my back. I wipe my face on his cloak and hug him tighter. I don’t like this place at all.

I want to wake up now.

I’m tangled in my sheets when I wake up. I swear I can still feel my monster’s hand touching the back of my head. The sun is shining through my window. I wonder how long I was asleep?

Chapter 3

REESE - 12 years old

Dad slept in my bed again.

In my innocence, I told myself that he couldn’t control it because he was asleep. The few nights he’s slept in my bed brought the same thing, though. How can you have the same dream every night?

I never have the same nightmare more than twice, so that’s how I knew Daddy was pretending to be asleep so I would let him do that to me. I don’t understand what’s going on. I wish my monster was here with me because I’m getting a little scared.

Reese, shhh baby, shhh. You make Daddy feel so good. Just be a good girl for me. I can’t say anything even if I want to, because tonight he climbs on top of me and puts his hand over my mouth. I’m getting really scared. Where is my monster? I need him.

He smells funny again, but not like another woman. My eyes are watering and I’m so scared. Daddy feels too heavy. It’s hard to

Reviews for Heart of The Reaper

[Hillary · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was a first time read by this author for me and let me voice sentiments I'm sure others have already said . . . WOW ? what a surprise! With unique storylines like this, the true intent of the plot can quickly be lost in the minutia that starts to build the backstory, the character development, and progress everything forward.

In the case of the book, you have a fairly complex FMC with a very tragic backstory that heavily influenced her decisions in the present. Creating a credible backstory with enough detail to elicit appropriate emotions for the characters, without intending to made the reader feel like they are a pedophilic voyeur, is a feat all in itself. Yet, I truly feel like it was something that the author was able to pull off with the appropriate gravity for the situations and all scenes were really help moved the development of the character in a believable direction.

A downfall with this book is that POV often make the storyline feel choppy. It left me feeling like I had no idea who was still "thinking" from one page to the next. Sometimes time frames shifted so much that I lost sense of time, not that it really matters in this book but it was annoying.

Now that being said, the level of kink and gore was just twisted enough to inspire that gleefully dark corner of my heart. The corner that loves when the antiheros win and the monsters come out to play. So yes, it is most definitely dark and delightfully deviant from the norm. If I were to describe the taste . . . Hmm . . . ? it would be deliciously passionate, spicy, hot, mouth-watering, hints of bitter chocolate. This story is not sweet and smooth. It hurts like life; but there are hints of passion and sweetness, the things that make you cling to life. Highly Recommend