Love Unraveled

By N.T. Dieudonné

After leaving a long term toxic relationship, Sofia Richards decides to focus on healing her heart and elevating her career in the hospitality industry.

Unexpectedly, she crosses paths with the new owner of the hotel she works at, Vincent Marks. After numerous attempts of showing his interest in her, Sofia reluctantly agrees on a date.

Having both experienced unsuccessful relationships in their past, Sofia and Vincent try to navigate through an intense relationship in which shadows of their past threatens their future.

When Vincent's mysterious and stoic best friend Dmitri Collins becomes a part of Sofia's world a friendship ensues, in turn making things complicated. As issues spark between Sofia and Vincent, Dmitri is caught in the middle feeling obligated to support both equally.

The dynamics of their relationship start to change as a series of unexpected events unfold. Leaving them all to wonder where they stand in each other's life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 21, 2022
• ISBN: 9781471763373

Book preview

Love Unraveled

Written By: N.T. Dieudonné

Published by Lulu Publishing & Limelight Publishing.

Copyright © 2020 N.T. Dieudonné

All Rights Reserved.

This is a work of fiction.  Characters, names, places, brands, media, incidents, and events portrayed in this book are fictitious.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental.  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means; electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the copyright owner and publisher.

Cover design @ Limelight Publishing.

ISBN 978-1-4717-6337-3

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limelightpublishing.com

PRELUDE

I once knew a man whose heart was so full of love that just being in his presence would awaken my heart. His love was deep and unconditional, even the waves of life could not falter him. My happiness and well-being was his priority. But in life, time changes everything. A love-filled heart became empty and priorities changed. What once was cloaked in warmth was now bitter and cold.

This was now my reality…

CHAPTER I

My hand clutched the sheets, trying to contain the storm brewing within me. The pleasure I felt vibrated throughout my whole body. My inner muscles tightened around the shaft that filled me. Trying to stay quiet was putting a damper on my pleasure. I wanted to moan, but I bit down on my lower lip to stifle the scream I yearned to let out due to my climax. Closing my eyes tightly, I allowed my BOB to finish working his magic. My thoughts were filled with the image of him making love to me against the wall and cumming inside me. It was what pushed me over the edge with ecstasy, yet when I opened my eyes reality kicked in. It wasn’t real. Staring up at the ceiling fan, I breathed a sigh of frustration. I turned off BOB and I went to the bathroom to clean up.

Walking back into the room, I almost cried when I looked at the bed. How was it that my man was right there yet I was subjected to finding pleasure and release from my vibrator with fantasies of him fucking me? Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’d relied on BOB to give me an orgasm; lately it was becoming a regular thing.

Angel laid there sound asleep without a clue that it was him I was yearning for. He was in his own little world. In his defense, things weren’t always like this. However when you’re with someone in the music industry things change quickly. By now I thought we’d be talking about marriage and our future together but right now that wasn’t his focus.

I love you Sofia you know that, but you also need to understand that my career is taking off and I’m going to be busy a lot. Why can’t you just support me?

That was what he kept telling me. I’d been more than understanding, believe me. Without a doubt I was there rooting for him but I had become an afterthought to him. How long did I have to keep compromising and sacrificing my happiness?

Once I started thinking about this, I was quick to go down the rabbit hole of frustration and excuses. As much as I didn’t want to stress about it, this shit plagued my mind consistently. Knowing I wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep, I poured myself a small glass of wine. Drowning myself in the whole bottle of pinot was tempting but I had to be at work in a few hours.

Working as the Front Office Manager of The Conrad Hotel was a job I could finally say I actually liked. Though it wasn’t my dream job, I was working in my dream industry. I was able to gain the experience I needed to move up in my career. Ultimately, owning my own business was my goal. At a young age I knew I wanted to be my own boss. So I worked hard to gain hands on experience so I could use it in my future business ventures. I was just working my way up the ladder.

Watching the sunrise from the apartment balcony, a sad smile came across my face. I wished Angel had realized I wasn’t in bed and come wrap his arms around me, soothing me and telling me to come back to bed because he missed me. Yet I knew that wasn’t going to happen because that was no longer his style. Intimacy and attentiveness left our relationship a long time ago. It seemed we were more like roommates instead of lovers.

So lost in my thoughts, I almost forgot I had to go get ready for work. Rushing to the shower, I hoped to wash away all the anxiety and doubt that surrounded me. The feel of the warm water against my skin had me tilting my head back with a moan. Lately my libido was on overdrive; it didn’t take much to get me going. With Angel’s busy schedule, getting an opportunity to have sex with him was a mission that usually failed. When we did manage to have sex it was lazy. For him, it became more of a chore to complete instead of something he desired.

It was safe to say right now my life was… depressing.

After a busy day at work I called my mom to vent and ask for some advice. No matter what I was going through, I knew she would give me sound advice with no judgment. She wasn’t just my mom; she was also my best friend. Sadly, it did take some time for us to get to this level in our relationship.

Being a single parent was hard on her. Though my grandparents helped with me when I was a kid, by the time I was thirteen they left us to live in Florida. Their bodies couldn’t take the New York winters anymore. So my mom had to raise a teenage daughter on her own. That in itself wasn’t easy and at times I didn’t make it any easier for her. I mean I wasn’t a bad kid. Nevertheless, I did do your typical teenage girl things, like sneak out of the house or invite friends over when my mom wasn’t home. You know dumb shit.

When I turned sixteen my mom told me we were moving to Miami. She explained it was because of a great job offer but I thought she was trying to punish me. Turns out the move had a positive outcome on our relationship. I began talking to her more and she began listening without yelling. Now at twenty-six years old my relationship with my mom was stronger than ever.

As I explained my issues with Angel, she listened intently.

You already have the answer sweetie, you just need to find the courage to go through with it, she said. Like always she was right. Before I called her I knew what I wanted to do, but I needed that confirmation from her to give me the courage to do it.

§

As I waited for Angel to come home, I sat on the couch staring at a picture of the two of us. The whole day I tried communicating with him to see if we could meet up and talk, knowing that he would be busy during the night. When he finally answered he just kept saying he was busy, that we’d see each other at home anyway so it could wait. Sure enough he was probably with Daniella, the singer he managed. When he wasn’t with me he was with her. Either way, we were going to have a conversation whether he wanted to or not.

At two a.m. he came strolling in with a smile on his face, a smile that vanished when he saw me sitting on the couch with an empty wine glass. A mixture of shock and worry covered his expression.

Sofia what are you still doing up? he asked, confused.

I told you we needed to talk. It’s important so I waited for you to come home, I said vaguely. Have a seat Angel.

Reluctantly he sat down across from me, effectively putting his guard up.

So what’s up?

It has been very obvious but it seems I have to point out to you that lately I haven’t been happy.

I know that things haven’t been easy lately. But you know I’m—

Busy with your career, I finished for him. You sound like a broken record. So many times I’ve told you that things need to change but you’ve made no effort. Instead you keep giving me the same bullshit excuse like its suppose to make everything okay. Your career can’t keep me warm at night, your career can’t make love to me. I understand you want to make a life for yourself but that doesn’t mean forget about the people that are already in it, I said bitterly.

Come on, not this again. What the hell do you want from me Sofia? he asked frustrated. I wanted to handle this situation with finesse but he was making me lose my composure quick. Talking to him was like talking to a wall.

Nothing, I said flatly. I can’t compete with your career and I shouldn’t have to. So I’m not going to.

What you’re giving me an ultimatum now, my career or you? he asked angrily.

No, that would be pointless. If you had put in any type of effort into our relationship, I could compromise but it’s clear this relationship is dead. You chose your career over me a long time ago. Now I’m bowing out gracefully and giving you what you want. I packed most of my stuff already. I’ll come back tomorrow afternoon to get the rest, I said getting up. Walking to the door I turned around to look at Angel one last time. He was still sitting on the couch, staring at the spot I was sitting in unmoved. I don’t know if it was shock or that he just didn’t want to look at me. At that point it really didn’t matter.

I hope it’s all worth it for you in the end, I said and closed the door behind me.

When I made the decision to leave, I thought he would fight to keep me by his side. As I walked to the elevator, I half expected him to run out and tell me he didn’t want to lose me. That we could work through this together. Instead I got nothing. The pain in my chest was suffocating. Rushing to my car I waited for the tears to unravel yet not a single tear came out. I was completely… numb.

I don’t know how I made it to my mom’s house because I don’t remember driving. Though I told her not to, she stayed up waiting for me to come home. Looking at my face, she knew no words needed to be said. Simply taking my hand, she led me to my room. It was exactly how I had left it, when I moved out to live with Angel. My shelves were still stacked with books, comics, and old DVDs. The canary yellow walls that surrounded me brought me comfort. This was my safe place.

Turning on the TV to the lifetime channel, my mom and I tucked ourselves under the plush blanket. Laying my head in her lap, Evelyn’s sweet comfort washed over me as she stroked my hair. Within an hour she fell asleep as I stayed wide awake. Mindlessly I watched TV and tried not to think or feel, hoping eventually my body would shut down and get some sleep.

That night I got no type of communication from Angel.

When the alarm went off at seven a.m. my mom woke up and looked at me with apprehension. Sweetie, have you been awake all this time?

Yeah, I said lamely. My mind kept on thinking about Angel. The way he use to look at me, the way he felt inside me, the sound of his voice when he told me he loved me. It was torture. So I kept myself focused only on what was on the TV screen.

You need to get some sleep honey, she said holding my hand in hers. I’d never seen her so worried about me. I hated when she worried. So I did what I could to reassure her.

Don’t worry, I’m not going in to work today. I’ll have plenty of time to sleep.

She studied me for a second. Okay. Well, I’m going to work. There’s plenty of food in the fridge and if you need me just call me.

Alright mom.

Things will get better with time sweetie. I love you, she said kissing my forehead.

I love you too.

I wasted no time calling out of work, explaining that I had a stomach virus. Since I barely took any time off my boss had no objection to my absence, he encouraged me to take as much time as I needed.

The plan was to keep myself busy with cleaning and reorganizing my room. That didn’t happen. Instead I laid in my bed and over analyzed my breakup. How did I find myself in this situation? Was there something wrong with me? I mean I was no Beyoncé or anything but I believed I was beautiful. Although my dark ebony skin and curves wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I loved the way I looked. So what made Angel stop caring about me? It couldn’t have been the sex. I was always willing ready. Angel was the one that needed encouragement. Sometimes I had to beg for it. Maybe he just didn’t want to have sex with me. The thought shattered my self-esteem and the pain felt like a ton of bricks on my chest.

Remembering an incident that should’ve made me open my eyes yet I didn’t, made me shake my head. A few years back Angel had an event at a popular nightclub, to promote Daniella, who was his new artist at the time. She was to perform two of her songs. I had to work that day but even after a long day I gathered my strength and went to support him. When Angel first introduced me to Daniella I could tell she wasn’t too fond of me, which was fine because the feeling was mutual. Nonetheless, I entered the club with only the intention to be by my man’s side and have some fun. Sadly quite the opposite happened.

As I walked inside the club, I felt so proud of Angel. The place was packed, which was great for making Daniella known and getting a nice check at the end of the night. I was so happy for him. Knowing he’d be in VIP, I headed in that direction ready to congratulate him, but what greeted me stopped me in my tracks. Daniella’s lips were pressed firmly against Angel’s like they were meant to be there. My first reaction was to jump over there and yank her by her hair but I didn’t want to cause a scene. So I made my presence known, which surprised the shit out of them. Of course he rushed to explain it wasn’t what it seemed, while Daniella sat there with a smirk on her face. I walked out not wanting to hear anything he had to say. After Angel explained she kissed him and that it meant nothing, I forgave him. A decision I was now questioning. He could have been cheating on me with that bitch the whole time, which I suspected, but I was blinded by love. The wrong love.

But then I thought back to when we first met…

I had just turned twenty-one and my best friend Laura was in town from New York to celebrate with me. She’d reserved a table at Mansion Nightclub with bottle service for us. During that time I was taking five classes a semester with an attempt to quickly gain my Bachelor’s in Business Management. So a night of fun and drinks was well welcomed. Laura and I were enjoying ourselves, taking shots, when I saw Angel for the first time. He was at the table across from ours, sharing a bottle with two of his friends. Every time I glanced at him I found him staring at me with a smile on his face. Eventually he got the courage to approach me.

Introducing himself, he told me his name and explained that he was a promoter but his dream was to own his own record label. I loved that he knew what he wanted and was working towards it. Also it helped that he was very attractive. Sporting a full beard and low cut fade, he had a slightly rough look to him. His smooth chocolate skin matched his dark brown eyes. I’ll admit the first thing I felt when I met him was lust. So it didn’t surprise me that we hooked up that night. But it did shock the hell out of me when the next day he told me he didn’t want us to be a onetime thing, that he wanted more. After a few months I saw love in his eyes when he looked at me. Falling in love with him was inevitable. Looking back at it now, I wished I had fought that urge to fall because now I was stumbling over my pain.

I constantly tortured myself with memories of Angel and I tried my best to focus on the good ones but the bad ones snaked their way into my mind. Who was I kidding? Our relationship was a train wreck. I knew this long before but stayed with the hopes of salvaging it. The thing about that was I was the only one trying. Fighting for a relationship alone is a losing battle. Sadly, I’d only now come to that realization.

Though I should’ve taken more time for myself, after a day I went back to work. It was a welcomed distraction. Inside I was struggling to piece myself together, but on the outside I smiled as if everything was okay. Discussing my personal life with my coworkers was something I never did. People only knew what I wanted them to know about me. I didn’t even want to talk to Laura about it. She kept asking me what happened but I just explained to her that I left because things weren’t working out and that he wasn’t fighting for our relationship. In turn she called him every name in the book knowing already how much I had put up with. My mom was the most persistent. She kept dropping hints for me to open up to her. I knew her intentions were good; I was just tired of going over the situation again and again. Talking about it wasn’t going to change anything. At least that’s how I saw it.

My social life stopped as well as my happiness. I became a shell of a person.

§

After a few weeks, I was disgusted with myself. I’d allowed a man to take my smile away, to take my joy. The person I saw in the mirror wasn’t me. She was a stranger staring back at me. The woman that was once so full of life was now tucked away and buried under a pile of agony. Honestly, I was tired of looking at her. The pity party was over. I wasn’t going to spend another Saturday brooding in my PJs watching sappy movies that made me cry my eyes out. It was time to change the cycle. So I threw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, grabbed my laptop and headed to the café I always said I wanted to check out but never got around to going.

Sanctuary was a nice little cafe that sold all types of coffee and smoothies. They prided themselves in using fresh organic ingredients with plenty of vegan and gluten free options. Though I didn’t consider myself vegan, I was trying to be more conscious of what I was putting into my body. Sanctuary lived up to its name because as soon as I walked in I was engulfed in a very calming environment. All type of people where there. Writers, readers, entrepreneurs, people looking for some peace and quiet, and me. A person looking for a change of scenery and an escape from her depression.

As the cashier greeted me with a smile, I glanced at the menu and quickly knew what I wanted. The young kid, which looked like he was still in high school, attentively waited to take my order. His happiness was apparent and I was curious to know why. A part of me envied him. What was fueling his joy and how could I get some.

Welcome to Sanctuary! What would you like today? he chimed.

I’ll have a Green Machine smoothie with a multigrain bagel and butter, I said trying to look pleasant.

Great choice, he said nicely. Would you like to add any protein or energy?

No thank you, I said handing him my card.

Not a problem. Your order will be ready in a few minutes.

Less than five minutes later my order was ready. I scanned the room for a window seat away from everyone. Though I was trying to get out of my current state of mind, I didn’t really want to socialize with people; not yet. Lucky for me just at that moment a girl was leaving the perfect table, so I rushed to grab it before anyone else did.

My plan for the day was to do some research on a project I’d put aside for far too long. When I decided to pursue hospitality as my career industry, I didn’t just want to work for someone else. I wanted to build my own business, my own lounge. A nice upscale place where people could grab a glass of wine or good cocktail and enjoy some live jazz. It was a project I was really excited and passionate about, but life happened. After I landed a permanent job with The Conrad and constantly supported Angel with his projects, it left little time for myself. So my dream slowly became a distant memory. It was time to get that dream back and achieve it.

Turning on my Mac, I was ready to get started on my business plan. That was until I saw my screensaver. It was a picture of Angel and me at the beach. I remembered that day like it was yesterday. I’d talked him into taking the day off so we could go to the beach. Though it took a lot more convincing then I would have liked, eventually he agreed. We’d spent the whole day out there, laying on the warm sand, talking. I’d asked him to make love to me on the beach when it got dark and we were all alone, but he insisted that we waited until we got home. As usual, I didn’t push the subject and just reluctantly agreed. By the time we got home, he went straight to sleep.

The memory had me gripping the table tightly. The anger that filled me wasn’t just towards Angel, it was also towards myself. In everything I put him first. So much so, that he overshadow me and I became lost in the background. My needs and wants didn’t matter. I should’ve spoke up and told him what I wanted, yet I kept my mouth shut to appease him. I had given up on myself and lowered my self-worth.

Silent tears slid down my face as I snapped the screen shut, not able to see his face anymore. Out of nowhere a tissue appeared in front of my face. My gaze looked at the hand that held it and moved to his face. The first thing I saw were beautiful light brown eyes staring back at me. I paused a moment, taken aback by the kindness in his eyes.

I’m sorry to intrude but I thought you could use this, he said with an accent I couldn’t quite place. His features suggested that he was in his thirties but his salt and pepper hair made me think he could’ve been in his forties. He smiled at me with full lips, still holding the tissue out waiting for me to grab it.

Thank you, I said softly, taking the tissue from him.

You know sometimes it helps to talk about what you’re going through, he stated.

Pouring my heart out to a stranger wasn’t on my agenda for the day, yet there was something about this man that made me want to talk to him. Maybe it was the sincerity in his tone or the overall look of concern that graced his face. Yet my apprehension of him trying to hit on me kept me silent. I didn’t want to have to deal with that.

He must have read the expression on my face as he said, Don’t worry I’m not trying to make a pass at you. I’m a happily married man with a beautiful daughter who is my world. I just can’t stand to see a woman cry. So I thought I’d lend you a tissue, an ear and possibly a shoulder to cry on if need be. The unpretentious nature of his words put me at ease.

My name is Thomas, by the way, Thomas Noel, he said extending his hand. I grabbed it, shaking it firmly. His body frame was a good balance of muscle and fat, in a way he was like a teddy bear.

Sofia Richards. It’s nice to meet you Thomas. Please have a seat, he pulled out the chair in front of me and got comfortable. His strong jaw line gave way to a serious face yet a very handsome one. I’m sure his wife was happy to have him.

So what man needs to be knocked out with some sense? Thomas said seriously.

Is it that obvious?

As a man, I’ve made some mistakes that I’m not proud of. So I know what pain looks like on a woman’s face, he said regretfully. Whatever mistake he had made; it was clear he was remorseful about it. His eyes told a story of a man who had seen and been through many things, good and bad.

I don’t even know where to start.

From the beginning, he smiled.

So that’s what I did. I told him the story of how Angel and I met. How I felt like I had the best of both worlds because Angel wasn’t just my lover he was also my friend. That we use to spend hours talking about any and everything. I explained how in the beginning things were great, we supported each other with every dream or project we had. Though I was going to school I still supported Angel in all his projects. He’d promised to support me in everything that I did but that wasn’t always the case.

Thomas, he missed my college graduation because he had studio time with his artist, I said sadly. I thought I’d gotten over that incident but it seemed I hadn’t. I was still hurt and bitter about it.

It seems he never put you first.

I knew that then but I had enough confidence in our love to think that would change. So I was patient. I kept telling myself things would get better.

For how long were you two involved? Thomas asked.

Five years. By year two we moved in together and our relationship stopped growing. Every time I brought up our future together, he dismissed the subject and simply said once his career was set things would change.

You two weren’t on the same page. It’s clear you were ready for marriage but he wasn’t, he observed.

And I understood that so I held on for a few more years, hoping he would get ready. Time went by and things seemed to get worse. Intimacy was gone. Communication was gone. Love was gone. I was in a relationship yet I felt utterly alone. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. So I did the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I let him go.

But that’s not what hurt the most is it? he asked, encouraging me to go on. This man must have been a therapist or something. It was too easy to talk. I felt I had to tell him how I felt honestly, which was a little weird.

"He didn’t fight for me Thomas. How do you not fight for the woman you claim to love?