Skipping Christmas

By Nickie Nalley Seidler

Christmas....
It should be a time of blessings, laughter, snow, and good cheer. 

But, this year is different. This Christmas our house feels like one thing—cancer.

Definitely not what went into the usual mix and in no way did it allow for any Christmas spirit to seep through.

There were no Christmas carols being sung and you can bet your ass nobody was in the mood to celebrate. 

I wasn’t expecting to say goodbye so soon, but we don’t always find what we want under the tree.

I certainly wasn’t expecting to fall in love. Mostly, I hadn't anticipated feeling free to let go and move on with my life in more ways than one.

I wasn’t expecting a Christmas miracle…but that’s just what I got.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nickie Seidler
• Release date: Nov 4, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386919223

Book preview

Acknowledgements:

Thank you to my developmental team of people who helped make this amazing! To Kellie, my editor, she always amazes me and I trust her with my life. To my cover designer Jennifer, who always is so patient with my requests and makes my covers look perfect!

To my betas, Bev, Stephenee, Megaen, Jodi, Maureen you guys were great and always made it so effortlessly for me take your advice and make changes where needed. I love you girls!

To Lia and Christine for helping me with my blurb, I surely do appreciate that as I am not a fan of writing them!

To my readers, thank you for always reading, for following me on social media and encouraging me along the way. After all, this is all for you.

To my friend Shelly for always encouraging me in life, to keep going, to move forward and keep writing. I’m so thankful for you. I love you!

To my family, I will always write and I’m so very thankful for your support.

CHAPTER ONE

M om, I promise that I'll be home. I just have to finish up some work projects. I sighed, tapping my heel as I sorted through some papers on my desk.

I know, but sooner rather than later, Kaylen. Your dad is not in the best shape.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture my last fun memory of my father. It was actually on Christmas Day when I was a little girl. He bought me my first real bike and we suited up in full gear. New York had extremely cold winters and hats, ear muffs, gloves and big puffy jackets weren't just a fashion statement but a must have. I remember my teeth chattering it was so cold and not from actually just being out there but from smiling so damn much as he ran back and forth in the slippery driveway to get me to ride. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face and just letting the wind blow, making me colder. My dad's smile was contagious and he was having just as much fun as I was.

Suddenly, my mind flashed to my wedding day. Then the tears welled up in my eyes before my mother startled me back to the present.

Kaylen? Are you there? she asked softly. I could tell she was trying to hold it together too.

I'm here, Mom. I wiped my eyes. I'll be on the first flight out Monday morning.

Thank you. I can't wait to see you. Dad, also.

I love you, Mom, talk to you later.

I ended the call before I heard her tell me she loved me too. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to feel any more guilt. Guilt that I haven’t been there as my father has deteriorated. Guilt that I wasn't there to dry my mom’s tears every night. Guilt that I wasn't there for my dad. The only man that knew how to dry my tears. Now he was dying and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Cancer didn't care who it took away from loving families. Not even if they were the single person who held the family together. My brother, Rex and his wife, Talia would be there and more of the guilt would settle in. I was a widow. And soon I wouldn't be the only one.  I don’t know how my mom will handle that. It's all I could think about.

When are you heading out of town? My boss Danielle dipped her head in, knocking suddenly at my office door.

I'm leaving for New York Monday morning. I wiped away my tears and cleared my throat.

Just make sure those deposition papers are in my hands before you leave. Why don't you take a half day today and get yourself ready. She winked and took off before I could say anything.

I worked as her secretary in her law firm. Nothing too exciting except reading through some of the criminal cases she had. It was a job to distract me from life, and most days it did just that. I took the position after my husband Michael passed away. Two years and it's still very fresh in my mind. If I hadn’t been working ridiculous hours at the time, he wouldn't have been driving late at night to pick me up from work. He wouldn't have fallen asleep at the wheel. He wouldn't have died. After losing him I vowed to switch my hours and take on a lighter workload. Basically I demoted myself as sort of a punishment. I couldn't ever go through that again. I missed him something fierce and the ache in my heart never healed, it just magnified as the years went on and the emptiness in my heart grew larger.

Christmas was coming very soon and I didn't know if it would be my last Christmas with my father or if his angels would take him before that. I dreaded every part of this trip. But mostly because I never knew how to say goodbye, but who really does?

I placed a few stacks of paper on my desk in organized fashion before typing up my last report. Hitting print and kicking my chair back I grabbed the papers as they came out of the printer and stapled them together. This was the last of my work. I gathered the manila folders in my arms and brought it to Danielle's office.

Good luck, Kaylen, I'm so sorry about your Dad.

Thank you. See you in a couple weeks.

Take as much time as you need. Celia will be here to help.

I nodded and headed out of the office. Put my jacket on, I hooked my purse on my arms and grabbed my tumbler cup making my way towards the elevator. Sighing a deep breath I closed my eyes and tried to remember the good times. The elevator door pinged open on the 4th floor.

Oh, hey, Kaylen! Simon wiggled his eyebrows.

Not today Satan. Not today.

Simon. I nodded.

When are we going on a date? I can open my schedule? He ogled at me as the elevator proceeded to go down.

I told you, Simon, I'm not dating.

That's a shame.

No, really, it's not. I rolled my eyes just in time for the elevator doors to open up on the ground floor. I quickly shrugged and stepped out, practically running for the doors to the parking garage. Once I got to my car, I got in, throwing my purse on the passenger seat before gripping the wheel tight with my hands.

My tears exploded and I couldn't hold them back.

I miss you so damn much, Michael. I cried.

The leather seats were cold so I started the engine to life and pressed the heat button as I waited for it get warm. I turned on the radio and they were talking about the weather. Lots of snow was in the forecast and I couldn't wait to get to home and relax by my fireplace.

Taking the back roads home, I arrived within no time to my Nashville ranch style home.

I locked the car and hurried in before greeting my cat, Tinkerbell. She shook her collar and rubbed against my leg, purring at me.

"I know, Tink. I'm hungry, too. I missed you buddy, how was your